The ladies began their brief journey a few yards away from the group. Meanwhile, Timber focused on the barrier’s first ring as Rubus tended to the fire. Rowan, who was not too far away, opened his grimoire. Its pages glowed as a vial of homemade oil and wrapped meat that he had prepared appeared. Rowan rummaged through his bag, looking for wild mushrooms and roots foraged earlier. As he fumbled around, he knocked a second grimoire out of his bag. With widened eyes, Rowan’s face became alarmingly pale. He fumbled with his arms as he bent down, attempting to return the grimoire to his bag. His gaze shifted from Timber’s faraway head to Rubus, who was on his left. From the corner of his eye, Rubus continued to gaze longingly into the fire, unaware of his blunder.

  “That’s good… I’ll just keep acting as if nothing had happened,” Rowan mumbled.

  Rowan summoned a pot and a cutting board from his grimoire and moved toward the fire. He placed the roots, potatoes, and mushrooms on the cutting board balanced on a nearby stump and began chopping with a knife that was sheathed at his hip. As his eyes hopped back and forth from the board to Rubus, his knee hopped up and down. Rowan put his knife aside after Rubus stared, unblinking, for a full minute. After grabbing the pot, he shuffled towards the flames.

  “Mind if I put this here?” Rowan asked.

  Rubus blinked long and slowly nodded his head. An awkward laugh left Rowan as he rubbed the back of his neck. Then he placed the pot down and sidled back to his cutting board to finish. After splitting the acorns, he concentrated on the undine in the air to form bubbles of water. In the split second, enough water to fill the pot poured into it. As soon as it touched the metal, the water sizzled and steam rose between them.

  “Come on, Rowan! You know he’s devastated! Just say something! Anything!”

  Rowan added the acorn to the pot. Then, he scratched the back of his head, searching for something to break the silence.

  “Did you know you have to boil acorns a few times before you eat them?” he said. “It gets rid of that bitterness.”

  Minutes passed, and the only thing that echoed was the bubbling of the pot. His palms sweated as his throat grew dry. Rubus said nothing. From the way the flames danced in his eyes, Rowan could tell he was far, far away. Not a single muscle moved. It was as if Rubus was holding his breath; his shoulder sank, and his hand clenched his other fist. From the way his hand gripped the other, a blood vessel would pop. It was a surprise that the fan Rubus held in his fist did not snap. Rowan could only sigh as he stared at Rubus. His eye dropped to the ground and slid back to the pot.

  “I know he’s upset… I just wish he wouldn’t blame himself.” Thought Rowan. “I also wish that other asshole didn’t leave me here to diffuse this bomb!”

  Rowan snapped his eyes towards Timber, who was nowhere in sight. As he switched out the water, he slowly returned to his chopped vegetables. Each heavy, rigid step accompanied his body’s uneasy movement. After he grabbed the vegetables, Rowan returned to the pot. Once he removed the water, Rowan added oil and stirred in the mushrooms and ginger with the acorns. As his back turned to grab his grimoire for something else, he heard Rubus speak.

  “Tannins.”

  Rowan turned his head.

  “Huh?”

  “It’s what makes the acorns taste so dry. You boiled them to leach out tannins.”

  “Bruh! That statement was from so long ago,” he laughed. “Did you return from space?”

  “Yeah… I did. Sorry.”

  Rubus avoided Rowan’s eyes. His left hand ran behind his neck, through his hair, and then down his face with the heaviest sigh. A soft smile grew across Rowan’s face, and he summoned wrapped meat from his grimoire. Despite the leaves bound to the meat, Rowan could smell its herbs. As his mouth watered, he untied the diced meat and added it to the sizzling oil. The sound of Rubus sniffing the air caught his attention.

  “I bet you’re gonna guess what it is,” Rowan said.

  “It’s kind of savory…dry, warm, and… piquant?” Rubus sniffed again without looking up. “Dry seasoned great horned Rangifer. I forgot you’re also a spicy lover.”

  Rowan raised his brow with a smirk.

  “Bingo. And yet I’m still surprised. But you’ve always been a skilled hunter.”

  Rubus chuckled first. Then he took a deep breath and continued fanning the flames.

  “Everyone knows great horned Rangifer meat is naturally spicy because of the capsaicin-filled flora they feed on. It’s what we dogs are good for, smell and—”

  Rubus stopped his words as he stopped fanning the smoking coals. Both remained quiet before speaking.

  “Rubus, it’s okay. You didn’t know,” said Rowan.

  Rubus shook his head.

  “It’s no excuse. Rowan, I left you two behind.”

  Rowan closed his eyes and shook his head with a shrug.

  “You thought we were dead, Elvy. We don’t blame you.”

  “I am Gentiana’s crowned Silver Hound,” Rubus winced. “I could have—no. Should have looked harder.”

  “No. You’re Rubus. A spacey cadet who can’t read a room for his life! And my beloved friend. Nothing less. Stop clinging to that.”

  “I’m a coward and a tool.”

  “You’re more than an experiment and a coward.”

  “I should have scrambled through that rubble longer!”

  “Ru, relax. Timber and I are alive and well; what’s done is done.”

  Rubus’s unparalleled tracking and navigational abilities as a trainee earned him the name “The Silver Hound.” When they joined Albion’s Silver Soldier Core, the corps assigned them as a team. Although they didn’t initially get along, they eventually grew on each other. A lot had happened before they became a team. And even more happened during the two years they had survived together. Unfortunately, disaster had struck the team, and Rubus had to go his own way. Rowan wanted to ask him about what had happened before, but he wasn’t sure how to approach Rubus. To survive a near-death experience was one thing, but anything more than that? It was too intimate. Or at least more than Rowan assumed. After all, Rubus often avoided the past.

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  “Why do you blame yourself for it? It was Acaulis’ fault, wasn’t it?” asked Rowan.

  As the crackling of burning twigs snapped, the wind howled. Rubus stood up quickly and turned around. As he turned, Timber crossed his path. They locked eyes for only a moment. Then Rubus walked away without looking back. Rowan flinched at the lack of words. Timber walked towards Rowan and sat in Rubus’s place. While Timber opened his grimoire, handcrafted utensils and a small block of hardened nut and berry paste popped out of his book. As Timber handed it to Rowan, he spoke to him.

  “Something happened?”

  “No! I just don’t want your judgmental vegetarian eyes on my meat,” Rowan scowled. “I ain’t sharing.”

  “Don’t worry, I did not plan to ask." Timber’s laugh echoed from his gut. “How is Rubus holding up?”

  “Not sure,” Rowan sighed. “He’s never been much of an open book. It’s a surprise he bagged someone’s heart.”

  Rowan shrugged his shoulders and turned away from Timber.

  “That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” his smile softened. “What did he say? How is he, really?”

  Words got caught in Rowan's throat. Everything in him did not want to go any deeper. Exploring Rubus? Connecting to Timber? His heart only ached. Every moment he shared with them warmed his spirits. Yet, discussing the issues between him and them only made him scratch his head.

  “Ugh! That’s effort, my guy, and I’m not the best one to go digging for answers.”

  “You say that, but you’re the reason we are together. I’m sure you can get him to open up.”

  “You act like I enjoy prying,” sneered Rowan.

  “Rowan, your talent is prying,” Timber smirked. “Not to mention Lady Rosaceae asked you to look after him. You told me those were her last words before she turned.”

  Rowan sucked air between his teeth. Timber was not wrong. Admitting it upset him more than he wanted to admit. In fact, it was more than he ever would. It did not matter how much his being told him to not get attached. They had been through too much. They had seen too much to just let everything be so awkward. The entire day, despite the constant terror, made Rowan remember what it was like to be together with all of them. Together as a team

  “Oh, don’t guilt me with her—you do it! He likes you more!”

  “He respects me more. ‘Like’ is a unique feeling.”

  Rowan groaned when he heard Timber’s words. Even though Rowan didn’t like prying, he knew he had a better chance than Timber. Little by little, Rowan’s chest grew heavy like a boulder sinking into the lakebed. As he stood up, he rubbed the back of his neck. Although his lips moved, they stumbled about without a single word coming out. Only a weakened huff of dismay could ease the sinking feeling in his chest. And hearing her name. Hearing Rosaceae's name? It only added to the ton of bricks that pulled at his heart.

  “Y’know, Ru avoided me back when we first met in Albion.”

  Timber nodded. “I’m not surprised… it is Rubus after all.”

  “Exactly!” Rowan wagged his finger. “But I could feel something heavy in his steps. Something familiar, y’know.”

  “It was a type of fear, wasn’t it?” Timber gazed into the campfire.

  “Yeah, and not just cause he’s a D?kkálfar… They got the short end of life in Albion, but they still have pride in their hearts. Rubus didn’t—he felt colder, but…”

  “He wanted someone to reach out, even if he was afraid. And convince himself to ask is out of the question,” Timber interlocked his fingers.

  “Exactly! And I know what that’s like… To want help yet feel so alone that you can’t let yourself turn to anybody,” Rowan sighed.

  Both sat quietly. When Rowan first met Rubus, he knew anyone who associated with D?kkálfar received the same treatment. Aos-si would mark Rowan as an outcast, but Rowan couldn’t leave Rubus alone. It was as if he could see himself in Rubus. The night he had crossed paths with him during the Four Winds Festival, it was refreshing to see Rubus stand up for others as he had before. Seeing that Rubus hadn’t changed made a smile stretch across his face. However, when Rowan saw no one rise to help Rubus, he already knew Rubus had fallen into the same habits. Or at least he thought so.

  Then, out of nowhere, Anemone stepped up and seized the entire crowd. Even if it was for a single moment, his heart throbbed at her standing bravely in front of everyone. Before that, the countless whispers of her that hissed from everyone’s lips were all he knew. In the eyes of the Tir-noNog’s fae, she was an outcast, a runt. If it were not for her nobility, her presence would only have been acknowledged at their convenience. She would be no better than a foreigner, ostracized and avoided. The very thought hollowed out Rowan’s stomach as he rubbed his arm. Her lack of wings and use of Sylph-Ars as the daughter of Titania was an irony that punched even his gut. Yet that never stopped her from trying. Besides Timber and himself, he had never seen that happen in Albion. Most stuck to their roles and places, gritting their teeth and cursing the sky in silence. Rubus always tried to walk alone, but someone else had stepped in for once. If anyone was standing up for Rubus, that meant he had made an impression on them, for better or worse. That in itself proved his growth, but Rowan knew something was forcing Rubus to shrink again.

  “They’re alike, y’know?” Rowan stirred the food.

  “Who? Rubus and Anemone?” Timber leaned on his arm.

  “How’d you guess?” Rowan laughed. “Taur-headed?”

  Timbe scoffed, “Taur-headed.”

  “Ever since I met her in Apothecary and Herbology, I’ve thought they’d make a good match.”

  “You think anyone who fights with each other is a good match,” Timber playfully mocked. “But I agree they are remarkably similar. From what Aronia has said, they both are terrible at talking to others.”

  “And facing their problems.”

  “And prideful,” Timber grumbled.

  “Seriously! I’ve seen Anemone do an entire spreadsheet of alternative spells for anything! Need a different healing? She’ll give you seven answers. Want to boost physical strength? Five options! And that’s just for local Ars—if it’s in a book somewhere, she will find it! For someone who can’t use Ars, she knows a lot about them.”

  “Rubus is practically the same. If it’s in the woods, he’ll find it.” Smiled Timber.

  “Yeah… that’s Ru alright,” Rowan huffed. “They really are similar.”

  They both nodded in unison. Even if she never saw him, Rowan had noticed Anemone in a few of his lectures. Particularly his ‘Foraging and Survival’ classes, as well as Apothecary Studies. He often sat behind her and would hear her mumble answers to herself and throw a silent congratulations party for one. Sometimes he would raise his brow or squint tightly. Other times, he formed a relaxed smile with a laugh as he shook his head. Watching her live in her own bubble was its own source of entertainment. As that thought crossed his mind, he pinched his brow and shook his head.

  "Yeah, we can keep that thought inside. If that came up, it would only sound creepy."

  Rowan slumped his shoulders and filled the pot with more water as he visualized Undine energy glowing together. His right hand raised over his chest and eased the strong beating of his heart.

  “By the way? Why do you hide the fact that you can cast Ars without a grimoire, Rowan?” Timber questioned.

  Rowan almost flinched at that question.

  “For the same reason, you don’t tell everyone you’re a father," snarked Rowan. "We all have some things we don’t want others to know. And it’s all for the fear of the trouble it might cost,”

  Timber leaned back in his seat, holding his breath. “Sometimes you can make some really good points.”

  Rowan turned around and laughed as he pointed the pot spoon at Timber.

  “What do you mean sometimes?”

  His laugh stopped when he saw Timber pulled out of his grimoire again and summoned a necklace that he clenched in his fingers. Rowan could see Timber’s face sour. His eyes crinkled, and his nostrils flared. He took a breath so deep you could see the air stream into his nostrils. With a single breath, his face returned to normal, but he remained silent. As they looked into each other’s eyes, Rowan could tell what Timber was going to say. Timber had been practically egging him on without outright saying, but all Rowan could do was rub his neck and look away.

  “He apologized… He knows he abandoned us. But I know it was Acaulis—his scheming….”

  “I’m sorry, Rowan. I know, but even I….” Timber grimaced. “Please. Talk to him for me.”

  Rowan let out a strong huff and threw his hands up. “Fine!!! Just watch my meat. Don’t burn it!”

  As strong as Timber was, even Rowan understood it was hard for him to forgive Rubus. Albion was survival of the fittest, but they had worked past that rule quite a few times. But when he thought of that night, Rubus had rushed off and not come back as they were buried under that rubble, his chest also burned with a passionate fury. Timber had made a dome large enough to protect them for the time being. However, Timber had drained much of his Flux during the earlier battle. Had Acaulis not found them, they would not have made it out alive. Rowan dashed the thought and focused his eyes forward. Acaulis told me himself, Ru begged him to save our lives in his stead. He had to leave, otherwise he would have met the same fate as her, muttered Rowan. “But don’t worry. I’ll get this straight.”

  Rowan raised his thumb high as he walked off in Rubus’s direction.