LOG-008.

  I want to leave I want to go home this fucking sucks and I'd like to cry a little can I please-

  "So, what's the Reef like these days? The last time I was there was, oh...sometime near the end of Era One? Any significant alterations since then?"

  I smiled gently at Yellow Pearl's (what else was I supposed to call her? She had no number!) question, even as we remained seated atop what I assumed was some kind of Diamond sized table, next to several expansive diagrams that I had to physically resist the urge to look at.

  Seriously, there'd even been a small (to a Diamond, anyway) staircase to allow us to climb up to the surface. If I wasn't actively doing my best to maintain an exterior veneer of functionality, I'd probably risk a laugh.

  "I'm afraid I'm not quite sure where to begin. I can only assume there have been changes."

  The golden Gem hummed in response to my not quite answer, tilting her head slightly. In the brief silence, I carefully listened to Emerald and our Diamond discussing something regarding a lost starship.

  "Ah, are the Nacres still the same?"

  I blinked.

  "Extremely strict and unforgiving of failure?"

  Yellow nodded. "Yes. Do they still lock troublemakers away for a few cycles?"

  Pausing, I slowly shook my head. I couldn't remember any of my Batch ever being put into 'timeout', so to speak.

  "Not...quite. Generally anyone who fails to meet expectations is beaten back into proper shape and compliance. If that doesn't work, there's always Rejuvenation. One of the Pearls in my Batch got hit with it, came back much more receptive to training afterwards."

  A moment passed.

  Then two. Part of me panicked a bit more than the rest, since clearly I'd said something wrong judging by my fellow Pearl's wide eyes.

  "Pearls don't fail a Nacre's expectations. Beatings? And Rejuvenation? In the middle of...training?"

  I hesitated for less than a second, before nodding.

  "Yes? Was it different for you?"

  She merely huffed, as if my own question was out of line. Maybe it was.

  Or maybe, cooped up as she was with her Diamond for her entire life, Yellow Pearl couldn't quite grasp that the outside world could and generally would change, with or without anyone's input.

  "W-well of course! No Pearl would require a physical lesson, for one! Not while they're still inside of the Reef at least! And getting their memories erased! Like some common criminal! Just how bad has it gotten in there that such measures need to be implemented? You're talking as if you were brought up in some secondary or even tertiary facility, where's the quality control?!"

  Weakly, I raised a finger.

  "Ah...from what I understand from my time there, that is the quality control? I never experienced any of it myself, but I saw it happen to some of my Batchmates more than a few times. Nacre Three, our Caretaker, tended to give out physical punishments more often than not."

  Mostly cause she was a massive fucking neurotic bitch clod pebble whore of a Gem, though that part went unsaid, for rather obvious reasons.

  Regardless of my own inner complaining, the statement prompted what almost sounded like a deeply disgusted sigh from the Pearl, even as she brought a hand up to cradle her head in a show of exhaustion.

  "Ugh, nearly everything's gotten worse because of that stupid Quartz and her 'rebellion.' It's just ridiculous-"

  The building tirade was cut off by a single word.

  "Pearl."

  I kept quiet, even as I mirrored the pose of my yellow counterpart, both of us turning and saluting as the Diamond in the room glanced at us from her work space.

  Back to business, then.

  "Yes, my Diamond?"

  Golden eyes that almost seemed to glow with power panned across both of us for a moment, before the supreme commander tilted her head towards a patiently waiting Emerald.

  The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  "The admiral has her new orders. Upload any relevant technical details to a disposable datapad and give it to her Pearl. This meeting is over."

  Oh thank the Stars.

  ---

  The trip out of Yellow Diamond's palace was a weight off my shoulders, mostly because I had somehow managed to maintain my composure throughout the entire experience. Or at least, I assumed I had. I wasn't being dragged away for harvesting, after all. Instead, I merely followed my Emerald through some kind of massive central plaza type area, with intersecting 'highways' allowing the seemingly infinite crowds of Gems passing through it to go in just about any direction they wanted.

  My eyes idly took in what I could only presume was some kind of shop, advertising accessories for Pearls including lightform adjusters, ribbon wands and even physical appearance modifiers. Fancy.

  Thankfully for our time and possibly sanity, my Emerald didn't spare any of the shops and services all around us so much as a glance, instead just resolutely marching towards what seemed to be an entirely different Warp junction to the one we'd previously taken.

  Maybe the other one was at capacity or something?

  Meh.

  My thoughts abruptly turned away from my environment, towards details more relevant to me. Namely like the shiny new object stashed within my gemstone.

  The datapad I now carried was a small, sleek thing that had been almost lemon like in colour when I'd first recieved it.

  It was also redundant, but telling off Yellow fucking Diamond wasn't exactly on my list of priorities. Maybe she knew I could memorize the exact details of our new mission perfectly. Maybe she didn't. Not my problem or even remote responsibility to bring up and question, not at all. It just meant that the small collection of perfumes, pillows and other utterly redundant datapads all stored in my gemstone now had company that wasn't the aftermath of a shattering. Fun.

  The task written and stored on the device itself was simultaneously the best and worst thing I could have ever asked for. We were being sent on a search and retrieve mission for a specialised transport vessel that had been lost somewhere near the very fringes of the Gem empire, far, far away from the Great Diamond Authority and all of Homeworld. Which was great.

  What had me wary was the fact that well armed and armoured interstellar cargo freighters didn't just go missing for no reason. It could be anything from insane organic space pirates, to rogue, defective Gem rebels (one could only hope they'd take pity on a Pearl like myself should we ever encounter them), to even just extremely hostile conditions in whatever system they'd ended up stranding themselves in, and we were being deployed to find the poor schmucks because of fucking course we were.

  Worst of all, the fleet vessels of the Fifty Fifth Lance wouldn't be joining us, considering they'd all already received their new standing orders and were likely already either Warping away from Homeworld or actively preparing to do so. At best my Emerald would maybe be able to conscript a spare handship or two to tag along with us, since we were operating directly under a Diamond's authority. Maybe even one of the garrison destroyers loitering around in orbit all the time.

  "You, the admiral!"

  My thoughts halted as a strangely familiar voice called out for my owner's attention right before she could approach one of the local Sphenes for identification. Turning revealed a...surprising sight, to say the very least.

  Though the brightly dressed figure of a certain Sodalite likely would have taken up the average Gem's attention, my eyes instead focused on the battered looking crimson form of the Pearl walking behind her, the servant seemingly doing her best impression of a rather viciously kicked dog.

  Sixteen A looked...rough. To say the very least. Even as our respective masters both strode up to each other, her eyes remained rooted on the ground, right up until her Sodalite spoke.

  "Ah, I see you're making good use of your own Pearl. I can only hope she's performed better than the pitiful excuse mine has proven herself to be."

  The red Gem at her side ducked her head even further.

  Oh Stars. Don't fucking tear up, you idiotic clod! You're supposed to do that in private!

  "Viridian...that is my Pearl, has been functioning as advertised, yes. Your one...hasn't?"

  Sodalite's scoff could have made a Quartz shocktrooper back down in shame, even as one hand almost idly slapped the back of Sixteen A's head, prompting a whimper from the Pearl in question.

  "Oh, a pet name, delightful! And yes, she's just utterly useless. Always around when she's not wanted, and never when she is! Ugh, and her colour. I don't know what I was thinking when I made the order! Maybe I should have gotten a green one like yours..."

  I smiled politely as the blue Gem's massive eye trailed over my lightform. I didn't bow, however.

  Bowing was for Emerald and those higher ranked than Emerald, and no one else.

  "...I don't suppose I could convince you to trade, could I?"

  ...

  The fucking audacity of this bitch-

  My owner shook her head slightly, even as I raged and wailed on the inside.

  "I'm afraid not. I'm more than satisfied with my Pearl's performance, and you haven't exactly sold me on your own."

  Sodalite nodded sadly, as if admitting defeat.

  "No, no I suppose I haven't. Though, perhaps I could make you an alternative offer?"

  Screw it. If she tried to buy me I'd bring out the limb enhancers. How hard could it be to activate some kind of offensive system?

  "Oh?"

  The cycloptic aristocrat smiled, shoving Sixteen A forward.

  "Take her off my hands, would you? I know it's not exactly the most traditional property transfer, but it would be much less hassle on my end compared to going through the entire legal process of Decommissiong an unwanted Pearl."

  I stared. Emerald also stared. Sixteen A held back another whimper and Sodalite grinned.

  "Really. I'd consider it a favour!"

  ---

  The familiar halls of the Retaliator would have proven a welcome sight. And they did.

  The only difference was that I now had an unwanted tagalong tailing behind me, even as I tailed behind my...our owner.

  "Viridian?"

  I stopped, feeling a body near identical to my own bump into my back with a startled gasp just as Emerald turned from her position next to the entrance of the bridge.

  "Yes, my Emerald?"

  The large Gem stared at me for a moment, before waving a hand.

  "Get your fellow Pearl situated. Come join me when you're done."

  I nodded graciously, as a matter of course.

  "Yes, my Emerald."

  ---

  The swish of the storage closet door closing behind us was almost immediately followed by babbling.

  "I-I'm sorry! I just-she was never happy with me and I tried so hard but she would just hit me l-like Nacre Three and I'd-"

  My hand clamped over my red counterpart's mouth, even as I sighed the sigh of someone who was not at all being paid for this shit. Mostly because I wasn't. Pearls didn't have a salary, being slaves and all.

  "Shush."

  The feeling of Sixteen A's lips opening and closing prompted me to tighten my grip, before the other servant finally got the hint and shut her mouth.

  Bringing my other hand up, I pinched the bridge of my nose in a second of silent suffering, before slowly nodding.

  "Alright. We're doing this and I don't really have a choice in the matter so, welcome to Viridian's tips and tricks for not getting Decommisioned. Ready?"

  She stared for a moment, before her eyes widened and she began nodding rapidly.

  I pursed my lips, even as I brought my hands together in a brief clap.

  "Good. Tip one, and something you need to learn immediately, judging from what I saw back in the plaza, is actually rather simple."

  Sixteen A's already wide eyes somehow managed to enlarge even further as big, fat ugly globs of water began to stream down my cheeks, even as I let loose a small sniffle that quickly morphed into a full on sob.

  "Y-you're only allowed to c-cry when you're sure no one's looking, o-okay?"