The radio crackled. “OhhhHHHHOOOOhhh… OOOOOooooooopeeeeennnnnn… Oooppen.” It was scratchy, muffled and crackling. It sounded inhuman, maybe oddly metallic and inorganic, but it was working. Oh my God, it was working!

  “Open,” Nicole grinned, turning to look at me.

  I nodded excitedly, practically doing a little dance from the amount of excited energy that coursed through me.

  “Open,” I repeated. It was such a bizarre feeling, mostly because, in a sense, I was speaking from outside of me. The word flickered through ways of being before finally being spat out by the machine. “Open.”

  With each repetition, I was able to make the word clearer and clearer. No spelling or vowels required. Just a lot of practice and a lot of weird noises. I was fucking exhilarated. Sure, it was just a random word from a brief moment of a song, but I knew I would be able to do so much more. I knew I would be able to speak again. It really meant the world.

  “Wuuuu reeee maaaaaazzzzggg,” I said, grimacing slightly at how awful it came out.

  Nicole squinted at me, clearly unable to decipher what that chaos of sounds had been. I didn’t blame her.

  Okay, maybe I was getting a little carried away with my attempts. I was just so excited. I tried again.

  “Wuuu mazzzzzing.” The static squeaking at the end. Nicole smiled, maybe biting back a laugh. Regardless, she waited for me to try again patiently. It did feel a tad ridiculous, but considering I was pacing around the tent and was seemingly making the radio speak by magic, it was also kinda cool

  “Yuuuuuuuuuuu amzzzzing.” I huffed, close enough.

  “I’m amazing?” Nicole laughed. “You’re amazing. You are a biological masterpiece.”

  Weirdly, the compliment made me feel a tad disappointed. I knew Nicole loved whatever I was; she was fascinated by it. I both dreaded and suspected that she probably preferred it; she herself had admitted that she found humans revolting. Now that part of me was gone.

  Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it didn’t matter. I didn’t want my body to matter. I just… I wanted her to like me for me. Not for something I had no control over. I was a weird maturing alien implanted with the mind of a person. I was a fascinating freak of nature, absolutely. But to Nicole, I had been Elsy.

  And suddenly, my frustration over the last few days became a lot clearer.

  Because to Nicole, I had been Elsy. But then Elsy had died, and I had come back a different thing, a scientific thing to be studied and understood. A thing that couldn’t speak, that didn’t exist the same. Beyond my name, really, there was so very little left of who I had been.

  Nicole had… forgotten me. Or that was harsh, at least she had become distracted by what I had become. At least it had often felt that way to me.

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  “What's wrong?” Nicole asked, tilting her head as she looked at me intently.

  I tried to swallow the emotion, but when I answered, the clarity of the words surprised me. “MMMMisseeed Yooouuuuu.”

  Nicole frowned slightly even as she nodded. “I’m right here,” she said gently, crouching down to run her fingers through my fur.

  I didn’t want to fight. I didn’t want to overshadow this achievement. But the hurt was bubbling up. Nicole had always meant so much to me, so much so since the end of the SS Euphorion. That had never changed. But something else had. My death had changed something in her. She still offered me comfort, explained things, did lots of the usual Nicole stuff, but… I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

  She was tired.

  Doing what needed to be done to solve problems and push forward regardless. She had been at my side since evacuating the Euphorion, all through my death, and she grieved me. And then I just came right back, and once again, it was one thing after another. She had been taking care of me for weeks.

  She was exhausted. And this whole time, I had just been relying on her for everything. We hadn't been friends. I had just been… a parasite. Of course, she had focused on that aspect of me. I deserved it.

  I would do better.

  “I… sssssoorrrreee,” I offered. Knowing I wasn’t going to be able to say everything I wanted to.

  “You’re sorry?” Nicole frowned as I nuzzled into her hand.

  “Noooot hrree froooo wuuu.”

  Nicole sighed. “Things have been complicated. It’s okay. That’s never how this has worked.”

  Fuck, that was worse. Of course, she was right. I had never been able to stand on my own. Clinging to Tobias and then Nicole. Yet another reason I needed to be strong. Nicole needed to be able to rely on me. She might not have been human, but stress was still surely bad for her all the same. I had been so selfish in my patheticness.

  Being a parasite really did suit me.

  “Wllll beee difffnnnt,” I said after a moment. “Promssss, Niiikol.”

  She smiled weakly. “Okay,” she replied, though it sounded more like a question.

  I felt terrible. I would be better, I swore to the universe itself. She deserved better, and I wanted to be worthy of… of being her best friend.

  “Sooreee I diiiieed,” I added after a moment as I leaned against her.

  Nicole dropped down to a seated position as she wrapped an arm around me. A casual motion betrayed by how tightly she held me. “You know,” she said after a minute. “You’re the first person to tell me that.”

  Suspecting it didn’t stop my heart from breaking at the confirmation.

  “Eeeet okaaaa, I beee stronnng forrrer uuuu,” I told her, nuzzling her cheek.

  Nicole closed her eyes and said nothing. Her breathing didn’t change; nothing changed. We sat there in silence, even as a tear slipped free and rolled down her cheek.

  “I wwww… yyyll… lovvvve yuuu,” I added, taking the time such words deserved. Not the passing remark Tobias and I had once shared, without the naive exuberance I had once held. Just… honesty, an honesty Nicole well deserved because Nicole deserved to know how much she meant to me, and I couldn’t think of a more apt word than love.

  She smiled, pressing a kiss to my head. “If I am capable of such a thing, then I must surely love you too.”

  It was just the two of us, two awkward creatures that didn’t really know what love felt like. Maybe this wasn’t love. But I didn’t love Tobias, or whatever that obsession had been, not anymore. I didn’t know anything about love.

  But Nicole was my person. And I so hoped I was hers.