“You’re late,” Vaarg huffed around his mug as the store-bell wheezed a greeting.

  “Morning buddy,” I smiled, patting the doorjamb. “Morning Vaarg.”

  It was hard to describe how I felt about him. Affectionate? But I was also pretty sure I hated him.

  … Affectionate hatred?

  I nodded. That worked.

  The store was small today — barely 10 Aisles.

  Still tired then. Judging by Vaarg’s lack of a response, it wasn’t the only one.

  I stifled a yawn and made my way to my Aisle, comforting a sobbing Grennywick and pruning a stray tentacle along the way.

  I had no idea what a Grennywick actually was, as they were kept on Aisle 7 and I rarely made my way that far — except the store had decided 7 came before 3 today.

  It looked like a bald, wrinkly, green sprite with no wings, sitting forlornly on the shelf over a sign that read “18.5 silvers. No discounts. Sales final.”

  It was kind of cute, in its own way.

  “Morning Beeg,” It monotoned, shuffling along in front of me before turning down Aisle 10, which now came just before 7.

  “Morning It,” I grinned, procuring the newt I had procured the day before. He turned to eye it sharply, revealing a smile that was all teeth.

  “You remembered my favorite,” he smiled shuffling up to take it from me. “That means a lot, thanks Beeg,” he finished, shuffling back down the Aisle.

  He never broke his monotone.

  I would have been sad if he did.

  “Ugly?” I whispered, half expecting him to materialize on a shelf.

  But he didn’t, remaining hidden and silent as he was won’t to do. I didn’t bother calling for Stupid, I already knew she would be on Aisle 3, waiting for me.

  Which just left…

  Where was Aisle 2?

  I squinted, carefully counting out the Aisles. There were indeed 10, but one of them was labeled 11.

  “He’s done it, it’s finally happened, the store is coming for us. We barely escaped with our lives!”

  Beeg turned to see Sibil and Henrietta huddled in a corner, hiding each other.

  Which just meant there was a pile of cloaks in a random corner.

  “We were there one moment, and the next the Aisle started collapsing. Henrietta, it’s over for us!”

  “More than over, it is toying with us — “

  “It knows we are still here — “

  “It probably waited until he arrived!”

  You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

  “Just to swallow us whole!” Henrietta finished with a wail.

  I sighed and tapped the floor with my bad leg, enjoying the satisfying thud when it met the regular mahogany floors.

  So not too tired then.

  “Hey buddy, wanna give the cloaks their Aisle back?” I asked.

  The cloaks froze. Or rather, they just stopped talking, as they had remained nothing but a pile so far.

  The store creaked.

  “Please? I asked.

  It groaned.

  “I’ll even mop today?”

  The store spit a candle out of a shelf.

  I sighed. “I’ll dust, too.”

  The sign above Aisle 11 disappeared with a pop, only for a sign reading “2” to replace it.

  “It’s a trap!”

  “It’s not really Aisle 2!”

  “How devious, they are trying to trick us with false kindness!”

  “It’s going to finish us!”

  “Aisle 11 is the aisle of cursed statues!”

  Wait… was it really?

  Sibil and Henrietta immediately devolved into hysterics—something about cursed statues, false aisles, and me wearing them as trophies.

  The store kept the door noticeably closed.

  I sighed. I really didn’t have time for this.

  “Thanks buddy,” I whispered, shuffling the rest of the way to 3.

  ____

  “Beeg! I missed you yesterday! I thought maybe you weren’t coming back!” Stupid greeted with an earnest hug. I noticed she was wearing her dress today.

  She looked adorable, in her own terrifying way.

  “Of course I would come back — how else would I see you?”

  She beamed, her smiled downright sinister in the dim light.

  Definitely my Stupid.

  “So Stupid, I got to thinking — “

  “Eez dangerous, Ugly said so the last time Stupid tries it!”

  I drew up short, then huffed an amused grin and patted her head.

  “Well, I was thinking… I don’t actually remember my own name — “

  “Eez Beeg?” she stated, confusion clear on her face. “You eez Beeg, Beeg.”

  She reached up to pat my elbow in comfort.

  “Ah Stupid, did you know? I think you are my best friend,” I grinned, crouching down and pulling out a dust rag to wipe a trail of lipstick that went around both eyes before tapering off somewhere on her forehead.

  “Stupid knows! Eez why we haz Friend Fries! Stupid never gives them to anyone else!”

  She drew up short.

  “Should Stupid gives a Friend Fry to It? Beeg gave Stupid the prettiest dress in the world, and it made her super happy! Maybe a Friend Fry would make It happy, too?”

  Without waiting for an answer, she spun to careen down the Aisle, knocking me out of my crouch with one of her ears in the process.

  I snorted as I picked myself up. Something in the shadow behind one of the shelves caught my eye, but I didn’t see anything at first glance… and wasn’t keen on looking too hard.

  Sometimes leaving unsolved mysteries in the shadow were better for restful nights.

  I patted a shelf and without having to ask the Store opened the space to my cleaning closet.

  I got to work with a smile.

  ____

  Surprisingly, nothing happened that day. I had expected some minor disaster, or some disgruntled noble to arrive.

  But nothing, just a quiet day in the store. I enjoyed it immensely.

  Even had time to clean all of Aisle 3; a testament to how well I kept it, if I say so myself. I moved on to clean the front of the store and even had time for 11.

  I admit I chose it out of morbid curiosity. It did; in fact, have statues of all kinds.

  Sobbing goblins, howling kobolds, raging trolls. All in miniature and all incredibly lifelike.

  I could also tell it was never cleaned, as it took me the rest of the day just to dust the first few, not to mention the rest of the Aisle.

  A tap and my weapons were quickly stored before I made my way to the front.

  “Can’t believe it actually let you clean Aisle 11,” Vaarg set down his clipboard and nodded.

  “What is Aisle 11?” I asked, genuinely curious.

  Vaarg hummed thoughtfully around his mug. “Some problems don’t go away just by ignoring them. In those cases, it is best to make them memories.”

  With that, he picked up his clipboard, leaving me with more questions than answers.

  As always.

  I turned to make my way to the door, pausing when I realized the cloaks were missing. I turned and spotted Aisle 2 — the real Aisle 2, glowing softly in the dark.

  Huh. The store must have enjoyed its cleaning more than I realized.

  “Night everyone!” I called.

  Vaarg grunted.

  The cloaks peeked around the corner, but still gave a nod.

  Stupid didn’t answer, possibly having portal-ed to a different world to explore.

  Wonder if that is actually a thing?

  “Night Beeg,” It monotoned around the corner of 10.

  He was smiling.

  In his hand he held a potato.