When we made it to the dance floor, Stupid dropped my hand and curtsied.

  Well, she bobbed up and down while her ears flopped erratically.

  Then she looked directly at me and sneezed.

  I instinctively threw an arm over my face, but the expected apocalypse never came. Instead; when I lowered my arm, I found Stupid floating in front of me.

  “You can float?” I choked out.

  Stupid giggled. “Stupid didn’t know she could do eet either! But she remembered when she made you float, when you were all crispy and broken — “

  I flinched at the memory. And the rather… indecorous describing thereof.

  “And Stupid thoughts, ‘Eef I can makes Beeg float, then I can makes me float,” she giggled.

  I sighed and took her tiny hands.

  The dance ended up being a lot smoother than I expected, on account of my partner basically being a floating powder-blue pixie who weighed nothing.

  So I just hobbled around the dance floor and spun her with me. Once or twice I almost tripped, but the store raised the floor just enough to let me catch my footing.

  All things considered, I think it went rather well.

  ____

  Vaarg snorted around his tea.

  He watched as It made his way through the crowd. He might fool everyone else with his placid expression, but Vaarg had known him long enough to see the smile behind his eyes.

  There had been a time when It walked freely, known and respected by all as his Voice.

  A time when name tags hadn’t been made of enchanted paper.

  Vaarg clenched his mug around the pain, both in his heart and in his body.

  This party was a ridiculous spectacle, and if it were the past?

  He would have reacted far differently.

  Instead, he watched like a proud dad as his children misbehaved just enough to appear grown up.

  Him.

  Dad.

  Children.

  Preposterous. Insane. Absolutely —

  He smiled as Elara sneezed softly, as if her magic could do anything other than blast portals through reality. He quietly traced a spell for levitation and sent it her way, hiding his smile in his mug as she beamed in wonderment.

  He would have to stop being so hard on Beeg, especially if he made Elara this happy.

  Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  No, that wasn’t right. It was him being hard that was helping him.

  Vaarg nodded to himself.

  That made perfect sense. In fact, he should probably be harder on the boy. What, with causing this whole party to happen in the first place?

  Vaarg happily sipped his tea, before scowling when the taste caught up with his mood.

  On the dance floor, Beeg misstepped with his clumsy wooden leg. No one else would notice — but Vaarg did.

  Because it was his job not to miss anything. Except for Ugly. Even Vaarg had trouble keeping track of that one.

  He tiredly raised a hand to help, then a brow when the store beat him to it.

  Ok, ‘Warlock’, not bad.

  Vaarg shooed off an irritating noble and settled in to watch the rest of the evening.

  ____

  The night crept into the wee hours, and the party slowly subsided.

  Which meant Vaarg finally had enough and bellowed for everyone to get out.

  Abruptly.

  Loudly.

  Unceremoniously.

  And when the guests were going to slow for his liking (which was preposterous by the way, as they were already tripping over each other in their haste to get out), he bellowed at the store to start shrinking.

  A command it gladly ignored.

  When I snorted, Vaarg fixed his eyes on me, somehow able to hear me across the dance-floor and over the din by some unrealistic happening of Vaarg magic.

  His eyes said it all.

  I sighed and tapped the floor.

  “Hey buddy, want to go back to being a store again?” I suggested.

  The store creaked giddily and promptly started shrinking at an alarming rate.

  I had the distinct pleasure of watching half the nobility get disgorged from a building rapidly unable to fit them, all while Stupid continued dancing with Marlo.

  It was adorable, seeing her blushing and giggling so furiously. I hadn’t really thought about her in that way.

  Neither apparently, had Marlo, as he appeared distinctly uncomfortable.

  In the span of a few moments, my life was back to normal.

  A dimly lit store, my crew of goblins, and my whispering capes — who were currently discussing whether I was going to make the store continue shrinking until it crushed us all.

  I snorted.

  “Beeg, Oh Beeg,” Stupid called as Marlo slipped away. “I loved my Birfday!”

  I smiled as Vaarg grumbled behind me. Something about closing for the night and the money it would cost him.

  ____

  It shuffled over, his tailored cloak replaced with his usual burlap sack and his sorry excuse for a name badge pinned over his chest.

  Not for the first time, I blinked to see if I was awake or dreaming.

  Or perhaps hallucinating.

  In his hands he carried the untouched cake he had arrived with earlier.

  “Thought I should save it for the ones who mattered,” he monotoned, setting the cake on the counter.

  Vaarg grunted and set his clipboard down.

  “Eez that for me?” Stupid chirped. “A Birfday Cake? For me?”

  Vaarg waved his hand and a pile of plates with utensils materialized.

  He threw a knife at me, which stopped to hover right before my face. I narrowed my eyes, taking it.

  Vaarg’s lips curled, almost giving away a smile.

  Almost.

  I might have done the same.

  And so I cut and served cake in a dingy store after a grand ball that felt like a fever dream.

  I served cake to a group of goblins that I had realized were more than just unhinged.

  They were also terrifying in ways I did not yet grasp. Ways that let them upend a portion of the nobility at a moment’s notice, before unceremoniously dumping back on the street.

  I watched Vaarg eat his cake as his eyes widened.

  Who was he?

  He quickly replaced the look of surprised with a scowl, as if offended it should taste good.

  I watched It munch on his piece, one bite at a time.

  I sighed as the AP team laughed and joked, throwing cake at each other; the store happily catching the excess with well placed holes.

  I watched Stupid cry and smile as she shoveled her own piece into her mouth, doing her best to keep her dress clean.

  Yes, they were more than unhinged.

  Yes, they were dangerous.

  But they used that power to care for each other.

  To my surprise, I discovered they had become my family.

  And that I cared deeply for them.