“So Ren is dead, right?” Olion asks.

  “Probably not.” Alliot says.

  “How can you be sure?” Olion asks.

  “I can’t be sure.” Alliot says. “Nothing to do but have faith that she’ll survive and make a mess of things. The best way to surpass everyone’s expectations is to suddenly live when everyone thinks you’re dead. Besides, you know the rules. No body, no kill. If you don’t know that rule, then you need to go out and watch more theater plays.”

  “If you say so.” Olion shrugs.

  “If we’re lucky, the river would have carried her to the lumbermill.” Alliot says. “Unfortunately, the river splits down there. So she could have easily been swept up in that direction.”

  The mountains here are lush with trees dotting every mountain face. Ren was walking through the mountain forest. A monster in the form of a squirrel with a scorpion stinger leaps out at Ren. Ren draws her sword and slashes at it with a normal swing. The monster was cut in half. Ren looks the little monster over. She then pulls out a bottle from an extra dimensional space from beneath her cloak. She then presses the monster’s stinger into the bottle and venom shoots out into the bottle until it is filled to the brim.

  Ren continues her trek through the mountains. She comes across a strange mushroom that vaguely looks like a green human skull on a mushroom stalk. Ren looks it over. She takes a bottle from her extradimensional space and puts the skull mushroom in a bottle. She heats the bottle over a fire and the skull mushroom starts to bubble into a strange foamy substance.

  Ren continues her trek through the mountains. She spots a number of dead animals and monsters foaming at the mouth on the ground. Around the bodies was a bush with some sort of wild bright orange berries growing on it. Ren looks the bush and berries over for a moment. She takes out a new bottle with her skill Thieve’s Sleeves and starts to pick these berries into the bottle.

  “What are you doing?” Apherward asks.

  “I’m having the girl acquire local poisons for future use.” Agnoir says.

  “Don’t tell me you plan on slathering these on that dagger.” Warumasa groans. “I told you that I don’t want you to use the dagger. I’ll handle all the girl’s enemies!”

  “Sure. I’ll have the girl lace you with the poison.” Agnoir says.

  “Wait, no.” Warumasa says in shock. “Don’t put any of that drivel on me!”

  “What? You don’t want me to use it on the dagger.” Agnoir says. “Slapping poison on musket balls doesn’t work out that well since last I checked. We didn’t get her any other weapons. So we have no choice but to slap it on you.”

  “No! Don’t slap anything on me! The only thing I want to be lathered in is fresh mortal blood!” Warumasa shouts.

  “I’m gonna do it.” Agnoir says.

  “No! Stop!”

  “I’m gonna do it!” Agnoir says again with more force and authority.

  “No!!!”

  Ren grabs a thick leaf from a plant growing on the ground and starts to mash some of the berries into it. Then she takes the leaf and starts to rub the substance onto her katana. She raises the blade over her head in triumph and no emotional expression on her face and her arm still slung in an arm cast. She then searches for a local monster in the area. After poking her head out of a bush, she finds a gray skinned quadrupedal monster the size of a small house with a massive lover jaw. It appears to be eating some kind of beaked and feathered monster. Ren casually sneaks up to the gray monster and stabs it briefly with her now poisoned katana. The monster starts to bleed profusely, and is unaffected by the poison. All the poison that was introduced into the monster’s blood stream is now spewing out of the stab wound faster than any poison can cause any damage.

  “Ugh! This stuff is filthy!” Warumasa groans.

  “What the fuck is happening?” Agnoir says.

  “It appears that the monster is bleeding faster than your poison can do it’s work.” Apherward says.

  “Yeah, no shit! Why?” Agnoir snaps at the two.

  “Oh, I think the demon has a bleed effect or something. I don’t know. Everyone he cuts explodes into a fountain of blood or whatever.” Apherward says.

  “Eugh! Get this stuff off me!” the demon screeches like a little girl throwing a tantrum.

  “Does he always whine like that?” Agnoir asks.

  “Probably. I don’t pay attention to all his whining.” Apherward says.

  “Alright, asshole, let’s see how you like it!” Warumasa shrieks.

  Ren had long since slain the gray monster without any issue. She stabbed it in the neck and it was dead. Now she is taking the same mashed berry poison and was lathering her spellbook with it.

  “Ah! Eugh!” Apherward screams. “What are you doing?”

  “How do you like it now, you magical dumbass?” Warumasa sneers.

  “Hey! Stop wasting the poison! The girl worked hard to pick that stuff!” Agnoir shouts.

  “Eugh! Augh! Guagh!!!”

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  Ren returned to the river to dunk her sword and spellbook in the water for a cleaning. She only had one arm to work with and only used her other arm to open and close her hand. The treatment is very rough for the both of them, but they manage to get clean. Being supreme magic items that don’t seem magical for some odd reason, they take the water without issue. As autumn leaves float down the river, they all flow into the blade of the katana and are cut in half before descending down the stream. The spellbook is also undamaged despite being dunked in river water. The pages remain unsoaked and somewhat clean.

  After Ren’s fit of madness where she abused her sentient equipment, she continues on up a mountain to try and get a better sense of the surrounding land. It is a long trek strewn with various monsters. Some have the sense or better things to do than attack Ren. Others attacked her on sight, smell or hearing. As in monsters leapt out to attack Ren if they used their sensitive snouts to smell her or hear her push aside a single bush in addition to using their eyes to spot her. They ranged from monsters the size of a bird to that of a horse. These monsters stood no chance against Ren, and she casually bisected them as she trekked up the mountain. After some hours, she begins to slow down. Her legs were growing tired from the long march.

  “Give the girl a break. At the rate we’re going, her legs will be reduced to nothing but stumps.” Warumasa says.

  “Yeah, start looking for spots to sit.” Agnoir says.

  “If the both of you say so.” Apherward groans.

  “What? Are you saying you disagree?” Agnoir scoffs.

  “Yeah, this coming from the guy who ran the girl to exhaustion and forgot to feed her.” Warumasa joins in the scoffing.

  “Fucking, whatever.” Apherward says.

  “Oh, shit! I know the girl is packing some jerky and dried nuts, but do we want to get the girl some meat tonight?” Agnoir asks.

  “Oh, fuck yeah! She’s been cutting up monsters all afternoon. Let’s get her some fucking meat to eat!” Warumasa cheers.

  Ren finds a tree stump to sit on. This stump is clearly the work of the lumberjacks from earlier. Ren takes this chance to sit quietly in the middle of a forest mountain known to be home to a great variety of monsters. Easily enough, a monster begins to approach. A dull brown lizard the size of a horse begins to creep up to her from behind. It moves slowly and prepares to pounce. As the monster prepares, Ren points at the monster, her hand hovering over her shoulder and behind her head.

  “Watter Arrow.”

  Water lances out from her hand and at the lizard monster. As though she could see the monster behind her head, she hits the monster in the head with pin point accuracy. It falls to the ground with a hard thud. Ren casually gets some firewood, makes a firespit, cuts off a lizard leg and starts spitroasting it over a fire. As the aroma of cooking meat wafts through the air, every other monster with a sense of smell on the mountain face arrives to Ren’s kitchen for a bite. Ren greets these monstrous guests with various blades and magic.

  “I feel like this is wrong.” a man wearing all white cloth that seems vaguely religious says. “There are way too many dead monsters here.”

  “Relax.” a similarly dressed man says. “I say any path through this mountain with dead monsters is a good mountain.”

  “Sure, but then you have to ask, what killed them.”

  “Beats me. Now come on, we gotta get going.”

  A group of people dressed all in white religious clothes are traveling up a mountain. On the recommendation of one of them, they follow a trail of dead monsters. Among them there is a 16-year-old girl. She has long wild red hair and golden eyes. From her head, a pair of fox ears peers out and a thick fluffy tail swings behind her. She wears similar white clothes to the men and women around her. She takes every pain and effort to follow the group while carrying a massive backpack loaded with mountaineering necessities. She snaps to attention when one of the others call out her name.

  “Lucia! Keep up!”

  “Yes, sir.” the girl called Lucia responds between labored breaths.

  “Woah. You guys smell that?” another of these mysterious people say.

  “Huh? Hmm… yeah… is someone cooking?”

  “Yeah! Up there!”

  At the top, they spot a lone girl sitting on a throne made of slain monsters. Blood gore and sinew splashed against every tree in the vicinity. As the girl turns her head to meet the stares of the newcomers, there is a faint red glow to her eyes and steam shoots out of her mouth warping the air in front of her. Her tunic and cloak are drenched in dark horrid blood. The only point of weakness anyone can spot is that her arm is in a sling.

  “Guys! I think we found the one who killed all these monsters.”

  “Is that a wight? A vampire?”

  Lucia begins to go into a cold sweat. She awkwardly waves at the looming bloodsoaked figure and awkwardly speaks.

  “Uh, hi miss!” Lucia says. “I’m sorry to bother you, but what are you doing?”

  “I’m cooking.” Ren says.

  “Oh.” Lucia says. “Can we join you?”

  “Sure.” Ren says.

  It takes a bit of time for everyone to get over the fact that Ren was responsible for the horrid deaths of enough monsters to fill two barns and still remain human, but they manage to relax enough to share a camp with Ren. As the day crests into night, everyone settles down as to not try and trek around in the dark where ambushes are the easiest things in the world. As they do, Ren and Lucia begin to talk.

  “So uh. I’m Lucia. I’m with the Eternal Gold Familia. We’re just here on a pilgrimage.”

  “I’m Ren. I’m an adventurer. I’m here for a monster that escaped me.”

  “Wow. An adventurer. Like the heroes of legend?”

  “Yep.”

  “Have you rescued any princesses? Or… maybe a prince?”

  “Yep! I even asked to stab one.” Ren says with a straight face.

  “Wait, what?” Lucia asks.

  “I asked if I could stab a prince and a princess said yes.” Ren maintains her tone during the description.

  Lucia goes slack jawed and her tail goes limp at the notion of royals asking the girl sitting next to her to kill one another.

  “If you’re here on a pilgrimage, why are all of your friends harvesting the monsters I killed?” Ren asks.

  “Huh? Oh! Well, I never thought to ask.” Lucia says. “Hey! Why are we harvesting the monsters?”

  “Because why not!” a man says. “It’s kind of free since the little lady over there doesn’t want to do any of the harvesting.”

  “There are tons of monster materials here. I think she would need a caravan of 10 wagons to get all this stuff off this mountain.”

  “It would take hours for one girl to butcher all this meat too.”

  Around the two of them were men and women taking valuable materials from the various monster corpses. Things like scales, hide, fangs, bones and a variety of other things. They are also cooking whatever meat they can. Whatever they can’t fit inside their packs, Ren will stow away inside her extradimensional space.

  “If I may ask, what kind of monster are you hunting?” Lucia asks.

  “A wyvern.” Ren says.

  “Oh! The cousins to the legendary dragons!” Lucia says. “Wyverns are to dragons like chimps are to us. But no one has seen a dragon in years. Dragons haven’t razed cities to the ground, kidnaped royals or anything crazy like that. It’s sad. Dragon slaying is a hero's highest calling.”

  “Aren’t dragons really rare?” Ren asks.

  “Yes, but not so rare that no one has seen one in years.” Lucia says. “It’s a dragon for crying out loud! Since the dawn of mankind, dragons have been causing all sorts of problems. And how do you just not see the bane of mankind for over a decade?”

  “I dunno.” Ren says.

  “Ah. Sorry. I may have gotten a bit excited.” Lucia says.

  “It’s okay.” Ren says.

  “Well, it’s time to get some sleep. Thanks again for sharing your camp with us.” Lucia says.

  “Cool.”

  Night sweeps across the Evershifting mountain range. An uneventful night gives way to morning’s first light. Everyone prepares to break camp and continue on their way.

  “Your pilgrimage takes you deeper into the mountains?” Ren asks.

  “It sure does. It’s rough when you’re as faithful and diligent as us.” a man says.

  “Cool.” Ren says.

  Ren begins to set off deeper into the mountain all on her own. As she does, a pilgrim calls out to her.

  “Hey! Wait! Won’t you join us?” the man says.

  Ren stops for a moment. She turns back to speak to the pilgrim.

  “Sure. If you tell me what you’re really doing here.” Ren says. “This is the Evershifting mountain range. To go on a pilgrimage here of all places is dumb. You should know that these mountains will be prone to landslides, earthquakes, monsters stocking food for hibernation, monsters coming out of hibernation, monsters migrating and everything else. You’re not here for a simple religious pilgrimage or you’re really dumb. I’ll only come along if you disclose what you’re really doing or if I determine if you really are dumb.”

  One of the pilgrims gives Ren a cold long stare.

  “I promise you we are but simple pilgrims traveling for the purpose of our faith in the gods.” the man says. “But I do take issue with you calling me dumb.”

  As the man speaks, the other pilgrims shake their heads, make X signs with their arms and other various gestures that indicate a “no” or “don’t do it” sort of response.

  “We are here as arbiters to champion the cause of the gods. I will not be disrespected by a-”

  Before the man could finish speaking, he is tackled to the ground by most of the other pilgrims.

  “We’re so sorry, little miss.” another pilgrim says. “We’ll just be going about our business. Good luck and happy trails to you!”

  “Sure.” Ren says.

  Ren takes her leave and she heads deeper into the mountain range. As she does the pilgrims talk among themselves.

  “My gods, man. Did you forget what that girl did to the monsters yesterday?” a pilgrim asks.

  “Just what were you thinking? We can’t take on someone like her!”

  “Augh! Get off me!” the mouthy pilgrim shouts. “We are right and righteous! We know what is right and everyone else is wrong!”

  “No! I’m serious, did you see what that girl did to those monsters?”