Level One

  The blindfold was the most pathetic thing ever. Basically, they just put a rag over his face and wrapped a length of twine around it until it stayed put. It didn’t even fully block his vision. He could still see on the sides and below. And what were they even trying to hide? After the wicker cage, all they did was make him shuffle through a low stone passageway into the next room, where they immediately took the blindfold off. The whole thing was pointless. Cooper would probably have been in a bad mood regardless, but that blindfold certainly didn’t help.

  That other room was some sort of amphitheater with a half-circle of stone bleachers on one side and a little raised platform on the other, topped by a pair of low wooden stools. The walls above the bleachers were covered with pictures of bulls running through a grassy field. The bleachers themselves were basically empty except for three kids sitting down in the first row. One of those - Bird Girl - he had seen before. The other two were both boys. One was a mousy little freak who couldn’t have been a day over 14. The other was pie-faced with dark hair and a wispy, peach-fuzz beard that made him look a bit like Fidel Castro. Fidel was wearing Cooper’s white undershirt and his Levi’s 501s. Mouse Boy had on his Converse sneakers. All three were eating pieces of flatbread as they waited for the show to start.

  Cooper paused for a second to take in the scene, only to have Lurch and Spiro prod him forward. They pushed him down on one of the little wooden stools on the stage, tying the twine around his legs to a metal cleat in the floor. Standing on the stage overseeing all this was the last of the kids, a beaky, angular boy who seemed to be a little older than the others. (So maybe 22.) He had a thin nose, narrow shoulders, and eyes set so closely together that he was basically a cyclops. He had on a flowing purple robe and red gloves, under which he wore Cooper’s Timberland hiking boots and his dress shirt and suit pants. The Cyclops also held a stick in his hands exactly like the one that had so rudely brought Cooper back from Belize. After Cooper was tied down, the Cyclops banged the snake stick on the stage, glowering at the other kids in the audience until they fell quiet. Cooper decided in that moment that he did not like the Cyclops one bit.

  “Stranger,” the Cyclops declared in hooba-fooba talk, which Cooper understood now just fine. “You are in the presence of the Council of Elders, of which I am First. You have trespassed upon our territory and taken what is rightly ours. The punishment for this crime is death, yet you may still be pardoned so long as you answer all my questions truthfully.”

  “Objection,” said Fidel from the bleachers.

  “All our questions,” the Cyclops corrected. “But be warned. If you lie to this body in the slightest detail, your life is forfeit. Now tell me, what is your name?”

  “Bugs Bunny,” Cooper replied.

  “And what is the name of your tribe?” the Cyclops continued.

  Cooper thought for a second. “Capricorn,” he finally said.

  “And how long have you served the Kayinz?”

  “Objection,” Fidel said again.

  “Let him talk!” demanded Spiro.

  “Conference,” the Cyclops said. The other five kids hopped up, joining the Cyclops in a huddle at the front of the stage. They whispered at each other fiercely for a moment. The Cyclops and Fidel in particular seemed to be having a disagreement of some kind, though every time Fidel said anything, Spiro immediately hissed at him. Finally, the Cyclops put his hand on his throat. Lurch and Spiro did the same, but the other three kids did nothing. Fidel smirked triumphantly, while the Cyclops grimly returned to the stage. The other kids returned to their place on the bleachers.

  “As I was saying,” the Cyclops continued. “Do you serve the Kayinz?”

  Cooper frowned. He was pretty sure Bird Girl had asked him the same question back in his cell. Whatever this Kayinz thing was, it was clearly important to these people that he either be all for it or dead-set against it. But since Cooper didn’t know which was the right answer, the only safe reply was…

  “What?”

  “Do you serve the Kayinz, yes or no?” the Cyclops demanded.

  “That’s five,” Mouse Boy said quietly.

  “Oh, come on!” Spiro began, but Cyclops cut him off with a raised hand.

  ”Let him answer,” the Cyclops said. Six pairs of eyes turned back toward Cooper.

  “I have no idea what the fuck you people are talking about,” Cooper said plainly.

  The Cyclops sighed, sitting on the other stool at the far end of the stage. Meanwhile, Bird Girl stood up from the bleachers.

  “Conference,” she said.

  The six kids dutifully got up from the bleachers and huddled at the foot of the stage again. This time, it was Bird Girl doing all the talking. She whispered to the others passionately for a few minutes, then put her hand to her throat. Fidel and Mouse Boy did the same. Then the Cyclops joined them. Spiro and Lurch immediately copied him. Whatever Bird Girl was proposing, it seemed the vote was unanimous.

  As soon as the decision had been made, Spiro disappeared back through the stone corridor into the other room. When he came back, Cooper’s duffel bag was slung over his shoulder. Spiro handed the bag to Bird Girl, who reached in and pulled out the .28 revolver, pointing it at Cooper’s head.

  “Jesus fuck!” Cooper shouted, sure he was about to die.

  “What is this?” Bird Girl demanded.

  “I’ll tell you whatever you want to know,” Cooper replied, raising his tied hands.

  “I want to know what this is,” Bird Girl demanded.

  “Can you just point at the floor please?”

  Bird Girl stared at him for a moment. Then pointed the revolver at the floor.

  “Thank you,” Cooper said, relieved. “Jesus.”

  “What is this thing? Is it some kind of weapon?”

  “It’s not mine,” Cooper declared flatly, shifting uncomfortably on his stool. “I found it.”

  “But it is a weapon, correct?” Bird Girl replied.

  Cooper frowned, thinking he must have misunderstood. “Are you asking me what a gun is?”

  “Answer the question,“ Spiro snapped.

  The Cyclops banged his snake stick on the floor. “Silence! The witness will answer the question.”

  Cooper looked from face to face, trying to figure out what these people were playing at.

  “Yes,” he said finally. “A gun is a type of weapon.”

  “Do you know how it works?”

  Cooper eyed Bird Girl again. “You’re seriously asking me if I know how guns work?”

  “Answer the question,” the Cyclops demanded.

  “Fine. Sure I do.”

  “And?”

  “You pull the trigger and the bullets come out,” Cooper said simply. “What is this, a sobriety test?”

  “And weapons like this are common where you come from?” Bird Girl continued.

  “Five,” Mouse Boy said quietly.

  Cooper looked around the room at six pairs of earnest faces, all leaning forward to hear his next words. A chill went down his spine. He still had no idea where he was, or who these kids were, but he’d just realized they were all idiots. And that meant his chances of avoiding prison were looking up.

  “Sure they are,” Cooper answered confidently. “I mean, I never touch guns myself on account of I’m a pacifist, but people where I come from fucking love ‘em.”

  Bird Girl made no reply, simply returning to her seat on the bleachers. Meanwhile, the Cyclops rose again, pulling the green-tinged knife from Cooper’s duffel.

  “What is this?” the Cyclops demanded.

  “It’s a knife,” Cooper replied. “You don’t know how knives work either?”

  “Where did you get it?” the Cyclops continued.

  “I found it.”

  “So it’s not yours?”

  “No.”

  “What about this bread?” the Cyclops said, holding up an uneaten piece of flatbread. “Is it yours?”

  “Yes,” Cooper said emphatically, crossing his legs. “All that bread is mine. And I’m going to expect you to account for every single piece.”

  “What about these shoes?” the Cyclops asked, pointing at the Timberlands on his feet. “Are they yours, too?”

  “Five,” Mouse Boy said.

  “Correct. All the clothes you stole from my bag also belong to me.”

  “So just to be clear,” the Cyclops concluded, “everything in this bag belongs to you, except the weapons. Go ahead.”

  This last was to Bird Girl, who had just stood up again, holding Cooper’s broken wristwatch.

  The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

  “Jesus Christ,” Cooper complained, rolling his eyes. “It’s a fucking watch.”

  “What does it do?” Bird Girl asked.

  “It tells the time,” Cooper said impatiently. “Like every other watch in the world.”

  “How does it work?”

  “It doesn’t,” Cooper said, uncrossing his legs. “It’s broken.”

  “But devices like this are common where you come from?”

  “Yeah, they’re everywhere. Listen, I’m getting kind of tired of this. Are you guys going to charge me with something or what?”

  “One last question,” Bird Girl said. “Do you know how to make things like this?”

  “What am I, a fucking engineer?” Cooper demanded. “Listen lady, I don’t know how much of this you freaks are going to understand, but I’m nobody, okay? I’m just an insurance salesman from Reno who went out for a hike and wandered into the wrong cave. I don’t know what this place is, or who you are, and the truth is, I don’t care. The gun isn’t mine. The knife isn’t mine. Those two assholes were dead when I found them. So are you bringing charges or am I free to go?”

  It was a good speech, but it didn’t accomplish anything. Bird Girl nodded to the Cyclops, who stood again. This time, he was holding the two dowel rods with the piece of wire between them, the one Cooper had taken off Laughing Boy.

  “Is this yours?” the Cyclops asked.

  Cooper studied the expression on the Cyclops’ face for a moment. The general rule on talking to the cops was that you only did it when you were sure they were clueless. If they had even the slightest idea what they’re doing, your best bet is generally to clam up. Up until that moment, Cooper had felt totally comfortable talking to these morons. Now there was a gleam in the Cyclops’ nearly-overlapping eyes he didn’t trust.

  “Lawyer,” he finally said.

  “Answer the question,” the Cyclops shot back.

  “I’ve already answered your questions,” Cooper retorted. “Lawyer. Now.”

  “Are you working for the Kayinz?”

  “Lawyer.’

  “What have you done with Itaja?”

  “Lawyer.”

  “Where is the secret entrance to the Kayin base?”

  This time Cooper didn’t bother replying. Instead, he put his hands under his legs, ignoring the Cyclops. That went on for a few seconds before the snake stick banged on the floor again.

  “Conference!” the Cyclops declared. Once again, the six kids gathered at the foot of the stage to whisper fiercely at one another. This time it was again the Cyclops doing most of the talking, though Fidel interrupted a few times, which of course caused Spiro to snap at Fidel, since apparently that was just how things worked around here. Finally, after several minutes of back and forth, the Cyclops put his hand to his throat. Lurch and Spiro followed suit immediately, just as they had before. Then, after a moment, so did Mouse Boy. Bird Girl and Fidel gasped, chattering away, but the Cyclops was already headed back to the stage with a satisfied smirk on his face.

  “Stranger,” the Cyclops began, “I shall ask one more time. Do you or do you not serve the Kayinz?”

  It was clearly a trap. Any idiot could see that. And since he had no idea what the correct answer was, Cooper once again ignored the Cyclops, staring at the ceiling.

  “Tie him,” the Cyclops said. Lurch dropped to the floor, tightening the cords binding Cooper’s ankles to the metal cleat in the ground. Meanwhile, Spiro disappeared down the corridor back to the main room, reappearing a moment later with the largest hammer Cooper had ever seen. The handle was like six feet long and a good two inches thick. The head was literally a piece of tree trunk that had been sawed off at both ends. It was clearly extremely heavy, so much so that Spiro was struggling to even carry it.

  “The fuck is that for?” Cooper demanded, but just then Lurch grabbed him from behind, once again clamping a hand over his mouth, so that Cooper could only watch in horror as Spiro raised the massive hammer into the air, bringing it down as hard as he could on Cooper’s right foot.

  Cooper would probably have puked if there had been any food in his stomach. Instead, he kind of just passed out. Like he might not have been totally unconscious, but he was definitely dead to the world for a bit. The next thing he was aware of was the Cyclops standing over him holding up the snake stick. Cooper heard the same weird rushing sound he’d heard before, and there was once again a shimmer in the air, though this time it was running from the snakehead directly to his shattered right foot. Weirdly enough, the foot felt much better. Maybe not totally fine, but definitely not as bad as you would expect immediately after it was shattered by an enormous hammer.

  “He’s awake,” Spiro said.

  “Whom do you serve?” the Cyclops demanded.

  “What the fuck did you just do to me?” Cooper demanded. Even as he said it, he knew it was the wrong move. Sure enough, the words had barely left his mouth when the gargantuan hammer fell again, shattering his left foot this time. Once again, Cooper lost track of things for a while on account of the horrible pain, but the next thing he knew, the snake stick was back in his face with that same weird shimmer emerging from it, and his foot was suddenly okay.

  “Awake,” Lurch said.

  “What have you done with Itaja? ” said the Cyclops.

  “Kid, I honestly have no idea what you’re - wait!” But Spiro didn’t wait. The hammer fell again, this time on his right foot. Out Cooper went again. Once again, the stick brought him back.

  “I surrender,” Cooper said as soon as he was able to. “I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, okay? Just make this guy stop hitting me.”

  “Whom do you serve?” the Cyclops demanded. “Is it the Kayinz?”

  “I swear on the life of my mother I have no idea what a Kayinz is.”

  The Cyclops snapped his fingers. A moment later, a sheepish-looking Mouse Boy appeared in front of Cooper, holding the poisoned knife and the length of piano wire.

  “If you don’t serve the Kayinz,” the Cyclops said, ”why do you carry their things?”

  Cooper’s eyes went wide. “Wait, are we talking about those Spartacus fucks out there? Are those the Kayins?”

  “Do you serve them or don’t you?” the Cyclops demanded.

  “Oh my God,” Cooper said, relieved. “This whole time I thought you and them were in cahoots. Look, I’m going to tell you the truth. You want to know where that shit came from? I took it off a dead Kayin. Two of those freaks attacked me in the Bakery and I shot them.”

  “With what?” came the answer.

  “What?” Cooper said.

  “You say you shot two Kayins,” the Cyclops explained. “What did you shoot them with?”

  “My gun,” Cooper explained. “Remember that little metal thing she was waving around earlier?”

  “So the gun is yours?” the Cyclops said quietly.

  “No,” Cooper said, shifting uneasily in his chair. “Well I mean yeah. It’s my gun. But like I said, before I thought you guys and the Kayins were together. So I was afraid to admit that I killed two of your people. Yeah, 100% that gun is mine.”

  “So you admit that you lied before?”

  “Isn’t that five?” Fidel asked.

  “It’s okay,” Bird Girl said. “Keep going.”

  “Yes,” Cooper said calmly, “I lied before when I thought you guys were the Kayins.”

  “So how do we know you’re not lying now?”

  “Because I just told you. I only lied because I didn’t know who you were.”

  “Where is Itaja and what have you done with him?” the Cyclops demanded.

  “I don’t know what you’re - no wait!”

  But they didn’t wait. That time it was his left foot. After that, it was his right again. Then back to his left. Then another right, and so on. All in all, they ended up breaking Cooper’s feet 9 or 10 times per side. Spiro worked up a pretty good sweat in the process, and eventually he and Lurch had to switch places. In between hits, Cooper did his best to explain that he really, honestly didn’t know anything, truly, and sometimes one of the other kids would object or demand a conference or whatever, but nothing anyone said ever changed anything. Sooner or later, the hammer always fell. Eventually, Cooper got so worn down that he simply cracked. Beyond that point, all he could do was alternate between hurling insults at the Cyclops and sobbing quietly, and even then they didn’t stop. For all Cooper knew, they might have gone on torturing him forever if not for the sound.

  It was the same one that had woken Cooper from his nap in the Cafe on his first day in the maze - a lion’s roar combined with a man screaming, seeming to come from all directions at once. The moment they heard it, the kids forgot all about Cooper. Lurch dropped the sledgehammer. Spiro let go of Cooper’s shoulders, allowing him to finally slump to the floor. All six of them gathered together in a huddle on the little stage at the front of the amphitheater, right around the spot where the Cyclops had been standing the minute before. The wall behind the stage was made of plain gray bricks. There was a maze symbol at one end - just like the one in the Cafe, only this one was blue - but otherwise the wall was completely bare, except for one brick up near the top, which was slightly whitish. As Cooper watched, Lurch and Spiro pushed the other wooden stool next to the wall. Then Lurch stood on it, carefully removing the odd-colored brick and handing it to Spiro.

  The other kids jostled and elbowed, jabbering at each other. Cooper had no idea what they were saying - as it turned out, the CIA translation in his head didn’t work that well when multiple people talked over one another - but it seemed like they were all demanding a chance to see through the chink in the wall, as if any of them was tall enough to see through it (they weren’t). In the end, Lurch stayed right where he was, so it was him that finally turned and told the other kids…

  “It’s Itaja.”

  Those were the last words Cooper understood for a good long while. As soon as Lurch said them, a general moan of dismay filled the theater, and then six people started talking all at once. Bird Girl, who had kept her distance at first, began demanding a chance to see for herself. The Cyclops, meanwhile, ordered the others to keep her away. Fidel then said something to Spiro that resulted in the two of them getting into yet another scuffle. Even Mouse Boy was talking, seemingly to himself, though again Cooper had no idea what he was saying.

  Finally, there was a dull thud from the next room, as if someone had thrown a bowling ball against the wall. Lurch turned, shaking his head. Bird Girl screamed. The other kids immediately formed a circle around her. All except Spiro, who jumped on top of Cooper and began punching him in the face.

  Cooper was still on his back, and his hands were still tied, and also he was having a really shitty day, but this was the second time Spiro had attacked him this way, and after the first time, he had made a plan. So while Cooper definitely got the worst of it, when the other kids finally pulled Spiro off, he was howling in pain, cradling a hand that had been bitten to the bone.

  “Enough,” declared the Cyclops, banging the snake stick on the floor. “As First of this council, I hereby sentence you to death for the murder of Itaja.”

  “Objection,” Fidel said.

  “You idiot,” Spiro spat at Fidel, forcing Lurch to step between them.

  “Fine,” the Cyclops shot back. “You want to vote? Let’s vote.” The six kids obediently gathered in a huddle at the front of the stage once more. This time, the Cyclop did all the talking. The others didn’t push back at all. It was as if all the life had gone out of them. Especially Bird Girl, whose eyes were now ringed in red. Finally, the Cyclops put his hand to his throat, glowering at the other kids as if he was daring them to disagree.

  “Can I say something?” Cooper asked from the floor, his face covered in blood, his bound hands now holding a nose that was probably broken.

  “You had your chance to speak!” the Cyclops roared back.

  “I confess, okay?”

  Everyone turned to look at him.

  “Yes,” Cooper said. “I serve the Kayins. I am a Kayin spy. But I’m so upset about whatever just happened that I’m ready to come clean. So if you give me a little break, and maybe some raisins, I’ll tell you everything I know about the Kayins. Including the location of their secret base.”

  “You’re lying,” the Cyclops said.

  “Why would you do that?” Fidel demanded.

  “Once you feed me, I’ll tell you,” Cooper replied.

  “Absolutely not,” the Cyclops said. “This is obviously a trick. If you have anything to confess, you will tell us now.”

  “So you’re saying no?” Cooper asked.

  “I’m saying no,” the Cyclops replied.

  Cooper’s eyes scanned the faces of the other kids just behind the Cyclops.

  “Shouldn’t you vote on it?”

  * * * * *

  Name: Cooper of Vancouver

  Gender: Male

  Affiliation: None

  Age at Entry: 29

  Current Level: The Labyrinth (1)

  Jing: 10/10

  Qi: 3/9

  Shen: 0

  Status: Normal

  here.