“Queen Victoria? My name is VQ-T071A, Greg.”

  I chuckled, walking up the stairs and stopping next to the wall of Ann’s future residence.

  “Your name looks like Victoria, even Vikki would work.” Now giving the wall an inspection for cracks—and entries.

  “I’m not using that AI-bot of a name. It’s either Vikki or Victoria.”

  There was a brief silence from the white speck.

  “Victoria. I’m royalty after all, and that other name sounds crude.”

  RIP to Vikki, my old coworker.

  Glossing over the fact that she just insulted one of my favourite ex work-wives, I continued the inspection.

  “Aha, there’s a small gap here!” Puffing out my chest in victory over the wall.

  Though the gap looked older… and not where I struck it and—shut up.

  “Will this work?” Lifting my hand up to the tiny seam.

  I heard a soft mumble, followed by a confirmation.

  “Yeah, that will do nicely. But I do require that feeding payment now.” Her hand stretched out and waiting… like I could possibly hand her anything that wouldn’t absolutely crush her.

  I raised my eyebrows at her.

  “What would that be?”

  “Wood of course. But only the highest of grades is acceptable.” Her voice sounding commanding, but yet incredibly sincere. Like she meant it in a way of dietary restriction—not posh entitlement.

  I remembered an old piano my father had kept; lying in the garage, covered under plastic see-through tarps.

  “If you would give me a moment, I’ll rush down and grab you a sample of something.”

  She nodded, or I think she did. Hard to tell with being that small.

  Then placed her on the rim of that small seam and headed down the stairs once more.

  “The Queen all settled?” Anna chuckled, flicking crumbs off the table and onto the runway of Peek-Airways.

  “No. I’m having to procure that signing bonus you so willingly offered on my behalf.”

  She simply shrugged.

  “You have to spend money to make money.”

  Ooooh I will strangle you where you stand…

  “Oh how right you are, I thank you for that financial shortsightedness on my behalf.” Mumbling through gritted, but smiling teeth.

  “That said, you could really use a better dress code, Greg. That… isn’t really screaming business owner.” Pointing at my attempt at fancy dressing.

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  Rude.

  “I will take that into consideration, but I’m in the middle of salvaging premium wood from my deceased father’s piano.”

  “I shall hold down the metaphorical fort and wait for… weary adventurers.” Her fingers flicking further crumbs into a different area of the kitchen. All the while watching Peek go from corner to corner, happily sucking and swiveling away.

  “Customers better come in soon, or I’m just paying her to sit around.” I mumbled to myself, striding across the floor in a lazy, yet quick manner.

  However, what I did not expect was the slightly raised piece of red-pine floorboard sticking out.

  Well… neither did my toe as I rammed the thing like a bulldozer.

  Hearing the loud thump and followed by muffled crunching sound; mainly due to my being winded.

  I’d never done that before… hit an object with my toe so damn hard, that I actually lost the ability to breathe. Followed by an uncontrollable round of groan-screaming, while dropping onto the floor; full fetal position.

  I heard the sound of rushed swivel-brooms as Peek came to my aid and Anna shortly after.

  “Oooh that does not look sanitary.” She announced, pointing at my clutched and now bleeding foot.

  When I went to confirm said sanitation violations, my body began to violently shudder. Switching between brief modes of gagging, groaning from the pain, a slight pause to decide if I should faint or not—and then back to gagging.

  Like when you see a nail or bone sticking out of your body.

  The pain is mostly secondary at that point… it’s the visual sensation that really drives it home.

  “Nnngg fucking…” My mind cutting off all oxygen to the speech receptors, while also trying my hardest not to start flailing around like a child during a temper tantrum.

  “Just… leave me alone.” I groaned. The snot and tear-mixture slowly entering my mouth against my will.

  The two retreated, leaving me to look at the mangled toe and the floor board in question. Which was now fully dislodged and a few paces away from me.

  Great, another hole in the floor I have to patch up.

  Now remembering something from earlier—the thug.

  The one that left with Lomber was meant to bring wood back, but since then… 5 hours had well and truly passed.

  I sighed.

  There’s only so much punishment a man can withstand in a day. And today I had well and truly filled that pain-bucket past its capacity.

  *Ding*

  [For fulfilling a prerequisite you have been awarded a unique Skill]

  What? Oh wait, don’t tell me. Starting to instinctively massage the sides of my temples.

  [“Objectify” Unlocked]

  [Lets you instantly determine the name and the correlating properties of any… “object”]

  “…”

  […]

  The pause was not only awkward, but I could feel a hint of—amusement.

  “See, you think this is funny, but I’m not going to ruin my day again.” Pulling my foot closer to my body, as I performed:

  [Private Healthcare]

  [Would you like to spend 1 gold coin, in order to heal your injuries?]

  More like trying to reattach it at this point.

  The toe was all floppy, like a cup of pudding—but with sticks inside.

  I reached across the wooden floor to retrieve the rogue board. Propping my leg up onto it and performed the necessary gold investment.

  [Thank You]

  [Now administering Private Healthcare]

  I heard the crunching and slurping noises emerge from my wobbly toe. Almost snapping instantly back into place, as all scattered blood was remotely sucked up through the cut.

  The sound similar to that of that vacuum cleaner from the Teletubbies.

  [Your wounds have been addressed]

  [Have a nice day]

  The system wishing me a good day… and giving me a new skill? Usually these types of “good” events happen in 3s.

  When suddenly the Objectify skill activated on its own. Just as I glanced at the wooden board beneath my leg.

  [Red pine wooden floorboard]

  [Quality: Premium]

  [Use: Unknown]

  “Oh…”