There was an awkward silence between us. The kind when ripping an incredibly sexist joke at a co-worker and waiting for laughter—or an HR prostate exam.

  With the added bonus that said coworker had the emotional range of… unbuttered toast.

  I went through my menu, her eyes burning a hole into the side of my forehead.

  “Just… checking something.” I coughed nervously.

  “Right. Well I’m going to stand near the door, greeting those ‘weary’ travellers.” Her words clear, but so was the judgment.

  Stupid. Why didn’t you get that wall broken down? You’re the boss Greg!

  I did what most people would in my situation… sulk and browse online shopping. Or in my case—the Storefront.

  Anna was making her way across the damaged floorboards. Her heels echoing through the room.

  Why does she wear heels, but the rest of her figure looks like a black latex bodysuit… from hell.

  Her eyes wandered across to the dining room, then to the bedroom section. The ones with the cheap-ass beds. Like most of the stuff I bought.

  She had stopped near tables, chairs, my lemonade-stand of a welcome desk and the bedroom situation. Her face… expressionless, but I knew what she wanted to say: This house is a blind-dating spot for hobos, isn’t it?

  Yes, that’s exactly the look she was giving me.

  I focused on my coping mechanism in hiding behind a screen only I could see. Shopping away my feelings, but more so, to find a solution for Phima’s… Anna’s new bedroom.

  I went to the employment section, since 270 gold was still a good amount of dosh, to get things done.

  There has to be something in here that can tear that stupid wall down. Blowing raspberries into thin air as the sound of whirring entered the kitchen.

  A sound that gave me much needed comfort, in a very strange way.

  “Do you need some help Greg?”

  His first words in some time, at my request that was.

  “Hhhhh… I’ve got a problem Peek.” Sighing and burying my face onto my resting arms. “I need a wall gone, in order to give my newest employee a place to sleep and conduct her business. But that stupid wall is allergic to my hammer, making it bounce off with minimal damage.”

  Peek looked at me… with that carefree expression and the standard lack of eyes.

  Really need to do something about that. Maybe googly eyes?

  He swivelled away into his doggy house, and after some noises of rummaging, pushed out about 10 gold coins.

  “Your current savings Greg.” He chimed in his upbeat assistant voice.

  “Thanks buddy, but unfortunately I’m still at a loss at what to do with that wall.” Scooping up the coins with a few agile sweeps of my hands and placing them into the gold box next to me.

  “Can’t you hire muscle? It would be a wise investment to have a strong labourer or labourers for the ever increasing demand in this place.”

  This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

  Holy shit, did that Roomba-Mimic just therapy me?

  “I-It would be an investment.” I responded, slowly swiping through the employment section again.

  “I need someone strong, but full of endurance.” Like a tradie, on his 3rd Can of Monster.

  Swip, swipe… swipe—oh.

  I was going through features and DR’s, the same way I had always done.

  When I saw a feature I liked, I pressed onto it, revealing the Danger Rating and also— a full description.

  Though there weren’t any pictures, I felt almost a magnetic attraction to the name: Woodworker.

  What else could it possibly be, than some tough motherfucker that carries logs over one shoulder. And also punches troublemakers into the floorboards like nails.

  [Woodworker]

  [A being that is tough and handles manual labour with ease]

  “And he’s only 20 gold—score!” I exclaimed a bit too loudly, making Anna’s eyes dart toward me, then back to the door. “Indoor voice Greg, keep it in your pants.”

  I selected the Woodworker and was prompted the same question as before.

  [Please select the terms of employment before commencing the purchase]

  Which I did, with a quick copy paste of Anna’s contract.

  [Employment Contract Complete]

  [Confirm 20 Gold Coins]

  “You know it, give me the log-man!” Confirming the price and watching my 280 gold go down to 260.

  That 10 gold spike from Peek made this purchase feel like 50% off.

  [Would you like to set a name for it?]

  This monster, person or whatever. Did it have a name beforehand—a life?

  [Negative. Choose name?]

  Is it male or female?

  [Female]

  I added another female to my employee roster, nice. I’d make quite the sum on Diversity for sure… if this were under normal circumstances.

  “Can I choose later?”

  […]

  [Sure Greg]

  The pause and answer showcasing the system's annoyance with me… but I continued the process.

  I had forgotten to move out of the kitchen this time, but was startled all the same by the usual summoning ritual. With gusts of wind and sparks, then—nothing.

  What the Ffffffuck system?!

  *Ding*

  [Open your eyes Greg]

  I did as the system ordered and went full eye-bulge mode. Nothing. Squint mode?

  “Excuse me, if you wouldn’t mind. You’re very close to stepping on me.” An incredibly gentle and quiet voice announced—from the floor below.

  “A ghost? Maybe another Shade again.” The thought making me shudder. I don’t have the capacity for 2 cutthroat corporate shadows.

  “Umm, excuse me, but could you come a bit closer. It’s quite the strain on my voice to be yelling.” The voice added once more.

  “Can you see it, Peek?”

  Peek swivelled over to the spot in question to a loud “Noooo, please stop!”

  And my, pushing the roomba a few feet away.

  “Thank the heavens, that thing was going to eat me.”

  I flopped down onto my stomach and began searching for the origin of the voice.

  *Ding*

  [Due to your increased spending in the storefront, you have unlocked a new section]

  [Spend responsibly]

  Did the system just shop-shame me?

  “Thanks?” I added. My eyes narrowed suspiciously into the air above—into nothing.

  Then began scrolling through my menus, in order to determine the quality of said “unlock.”

  I blinked with my mouth opening on its own. A common facial gesture for these past few days.

  “It’s… like eBay?” Or even that other popular marketplace. *wink*

  I scrolled through the ocean of cheap-flavoured products, until I found the desired object.

  “A magnifying glass!”