The guild of alchemists was never an official thing. It was just that Lufen knew Loon back when they were apprenticed together, and Loon knew Larry, and Larry knew Lars. The four elder alchemists gathered together with three botanists. It was meant to be dark cloaks and mysterious personas. Lufen had worn his darkest cloak, the one with the really big hood that hid his face admirably in the dim candle light. But Larry's wife had made a whole bunch of sandwiches for the lot of them, and Lars had brought a keg of ale. The hoods went down, cloaks and capes were quickly hung up on a rack by the front door, and the seven of them began tucking into thick cuts of ham and mustard, held between soft fluffy bread.

  "Do give my regards to your wife, Larry," Lufen said, "these are excellent, just excellent."

  The others all mumbled agreement noises between bites.

  "It's the least we could do, since your wife made all those scones last time. Could you pass the mustard?"

  "Gentlemen," Lars spoke. He was the only one to keep a hood on. His face was hidden in black depths. A small corner of a sandwich passed into the ominous opening, and disappeared.

  "Perhaps we can discuss business while eating." There was nodding and chewing. "I've noticed that recently, only half the potted plants I expected have come off the trade ships." More nodding, more chewing. Lufen slurped noisily on his ale.

  "Same thing here," Lufen agreed, "weirdest thing, though, is that the market stalls aren't suffering. There's no shortage of plants. In fact, I'd say there were more filling up the stalls."

  "More indeed," Lars acknowledged, "only, the goods are getting more expensive, and we're not getting any cut of this mysterious surplus. The market seems to be skipping us entirely. I asked around and found the captains have been selling directly to someone at the docks. They're not too keen to admit who the buyer is, though. I suspect something illegal is afoot."

  "Illegal like what we do?"

  "No, Larry, illegal like what other people do, in ways that cost us money."

  Everybody frowned at that.

  "So what do we do about it?"

  "I've already put plans into action. There's a couple of old friends in the assassins guild that I reached out to. They say the man's called The Alchemist. Two of them are following him, getting information. The other two..." Lars grimaced, "I haven't heard from them for a while. I hope they are doing ok. Some of my best customers for high-grade poisons."

  The other alchemists nodded their sympathy. High-grade poisons were expensive, and not many people wanted to pay for them. A good customer like that was basically family.

  "And if the assassins fail?" One of the botanists asked.

  "Then we hire more. Don't worry. There's only room for one monopoly in Liston's alchemy market. We won't let this 'Alchemist' have a slice of our pie. Oh, that reminds me, my wife has offered to do a few pies for our next gathering."

  There was a chorus of "Ooo" and "that would be lovely". The guild finished their meal, and crept back into the night. Cloaks on and hoods covering them as they went home from their clandestine meeting.

  Lady Jane of Grimsby—

  No.

  Jane of the Red Daggers stood in the marble halls of Liston Academy. She looked around at the expensive looking paintings and marble statues, and shook her head. Back to this again. She thought to herself. She composed herself, and walked up to the receptionist. It was the same man as last time. But this time, she wore an elegant blue cloak she'd bought at the market, and her feet were in new shoes made of soft leather. She wore a blue dress with a silver sash at the waist. The receptionist smiled at her, a smile that somehow conveyed approval of her style and "I'm still better than you" at the same time. Jane gave the classic false smile of nobles and presented her entrance paper.

  "How lovely to have you join us, Lady Jane."

  "It's just Jane."

  "Of course. This way, Lady Jane."

  The receptionist led Jane to large double doors and cracked one open, gesturing for her to step through. On the inside was a large courtyard, with several streams and many fountains covering the whole thing. Water was really the theme here. Several people were in the courtyard, talking around fountains, meditating on benches, or walking across the many little bridges that crisscrossed all the streams.

  Jane was led to the west wing of the academy, where rows of dormitories were. She was shown a bedroom that would be hers for the year. It was ornate and ostentatious, exactly as she expected. Golden sheets tucked under golden blankets with, yes, golden pillows. Under all that, Jane spotted the legs of the bed frame poking out, painted gold. Jane sighed.

  "Thank you, sir, could you show me where classes will be held?"

  "Oh, I think you misunderstand the academy, Lady Jane. There are no official classes. You will simply interact with other students and scholars, teaching each other."

  Jane frowned.

  "What was the fee for, then, if this is just a gilded inn?"

  "To keep out the riff-raff, Lady Jane. You will only need to interact with the elite society of Liston here at the academy. The true nobles." The man replied smugly. Jane hadn't yet learned his name, and decided at this point she'd never bother to.

  "So I just... live here, and talk to the others?"

  "Precisely, my Lady. To acquire spells is nothing more than spending gold at the library. Only students can purchase these scrolls. It's very exclusive. After acquiring spells, the real power lies in skills you acquire through personal study and collaboration with the other students."

  Jane tried to understand the business logic of selling less products on purpose. She gave up.

  "Can you point me in the direction of the library?"

  "Simply on the other side of the courtyard, my Lady. Dormitories, bathing, and dining facilities are here on the west wing. Social gatherings and academic pursuits are on the east wing. Now, I must return to my desk. Have a good day."

  With that, the receptionist bowed and left Jane to sit down on a golden chair, next to a golden desk. The desk looked worn and some gold paint was flaking off the chair. Jane sighed again. After all this time...

  "Hello, is this the library?" Jane poked her head through the door.

  "No, this is the ballroom, but hello, hello, hello!" A young man replied. He had blonde, wavy hair that looked like it took an hour to get just right every morning. "My name's Ludd, and I am absolutely charmed to meet you."

  Ludd swept Jane's hand up and kissed the back of it. Twice. Jane pulled her hand away from a third attempt. A girl tittered behind her hand.

  "I think Ludd and the new Lady's hand ought to get a room."

  Ludd stepped back and flushed.

  "I was just greeting, er,"

  Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  "Jane."

  "Ah, how exotic! Down by Mathermore?"

  "Grimsby, actually. Farther south."

  "How delightful, and the Grimsby family is doing well? What was his name... Jorst, I believe?"

  "Dead, I'm afraid, along with his son."

  "Ah. My condolences."

  "I actually played a hand in it."

  "Ah! My congratulations. I must say, what a lovely cloak."

  "Pff," the girl huffed, "it's just a cloak, Ludd. Honestly, you've fallen in love with three cloaks and a blouse just this week. I'm Lucille, by the way. Welcome to the academy. Are you a white wine or red sort of person?"

  Lucille snapped her fingers and a water elemental slid over to them from a nearby nook in the wall. The little creature was up to Jane's knees, and held a tray over its head with wine glasses. Jane smiled for the first time since coming to the academy.

  "How cute! What's his name?"

  "These things don't have names," Lucille tittered, "they do come in handy though. So what spells have you collected so far?"

  "None yet," Jane admitted, "I was on my way to the library just now."

  "None? Oh my, oh dear," Lucille was trying to not look smug or triumphant, but she wasn't very good at masking her emotions. "That's ok, we all start somewhere. I've already reached Advanced with Water Elemental, and I can create two at once." Lucille twirled her hand and another elemental popped into existence next to the original. They stood there, the water inside them flowing but somehow not getting all over the floor and furniture.

  "Reached Advanced, meaning, your class is only Adept?" Jane asked innocently. She didn't have to say that, she knew it, but couldn't help herself. She could see the thunderclouds rolling in over Lucille's face.

  "Not everyone is born in backwater monster-infested towns. My family did what they could. Hardly any noble in Liston is Advanced."

  Jane hadn't thought of that. On the outskirts of Grimsby, where she'd grown up, the guards had brought Jane to several beasts tied up and on the edge of death. She'd only been 12 years old, but they'd put a knife in her hands and she'd done what every noble child learned to do. Instantly shifting her class to Advanced. Giving her an advantage over any commoner child. Any skill she learned would be three or four times as powerful as the basic version. The skills did come a bit slower, but it still put her far above other kids her age. She wondered how that worked in big cities. Did they simply run out of monsters?

  She left the group and wandered to the next building over. This time it was the library. There were shelves and shelves of books, but they looked largely ornamental. The real bustle of the room were circles of couches where people sat, drank, and laughed together. To the side was a counter where the librarian was. Jane walked over.

  "Hello, mister librarian."

  "Hello young Lady. Have you come to buy a scroll?"

  "I hope so. Do you have a list of what's available."

  "Of course."

  The man handed Jane a piece of paper with a list of spell scrolls, their effects, their tiers, and their prices. Jane couldn't believe how many spells were available.

  "Could I... have a copy of this paper?"

  Zig stared at the blood covering the walls, the floor, and a good part of the ceiling.

  "I wish I could control it, you know? Like knocking a man unconscious would be fantastic. Even crushing the ribcage, without it spraying everywhere, would be a dream come true."

  "Indeed, mister Zig, this will take some time to clean up."

  Jints looked forlornly at the room, with blood soaking into the wooden floorboards.

  "On the plus side, if there is ever a way to gain a cleaning skill, I believe this is it. Can you go downstairs and rent the room for another day? And ask for privacy, so nobody comes in to see this."

  Zig went down and did just that. Then he went to the market and bought a couple of buckets, plenty of cloths, and a variety of soaps and solvents. He brought it all back to Jints and sat down on a bucket that was turned upside down, the only blood-free furniture in the room.

  "So how did it all go wrong? I thought it was pretty much the same as the other day."

  "I think this captain didn't have any danger sensing skill, mister Zig. We implied that we had two hundred gold to offer him, and he thought to keep gold and the plants."

  Zig looked at the plants, also covered in blood.

  "I guess we shouldn't sell these?"

  "I will see how the cleaning goes, mister Zig."

  Zig sat and stared at his club. It certainly was a useful weapon. A bit too useful. If only it looked more threatening than a rock on a stick...

  Inspiration slapped Zig in the face.

  "Oh! I think I have an idea!"

  "To clean, mister Zig?"

  "No, to stop this from happening again. Lucy told me about enchanted weapons, how they give a glow that makes people nervous."

  "I certainly would be nervous about attacking someone with such a weapon, mister Zig. Not only for what it could do, but I'd be wondering who could afford such a thing. Not us, not yet, I'm afraid."

  Zig smiled.

  "Ah, my good friend Jints, that's where you're mistaken. We don't need an enchanted weapon. We need a weapon that looks enchanted. A weapon that glows."

  Zig raced back to the inn, shifted his bed out of its place, and pried back some innocent-looking floorboards. He reached carefully and disabled the wire trap, and pulled out a chest. His eyes lit up as he looked upon his most prized possessions. Several dirty jars of goop stared back at him. His hand lightly touched the top of each one, stopping at the last in the line. The goop he found most attractive, most inviting. The goop that until now he'd struggled to find a use for.

  The purple goop.

  He'd discovered it back in the goblin-infested mines of Lancre. It was a thick, sticky liquid that glowed a soft purple. It reminded him of the glowing purple runes carved into the goblin shaman's staff. That staff probably did something powerful and mysterious. Zig had no idea how to work with this stuff, but he didn't need it to work, just to glow.

  Zig found a rock outside and broke it in half, getting a nice jagged edge. He got his club and carefully started carving into the handle. This world spoke Common, not English, so Zig figured some english words would look scary to the locals. It took him the afternoon, since he had to try again on three sticks. Whenever he applied too much pressure, the rock broke the stick in half. Eventually he managed to gouge out "big scary club" along the handle of his new club. He attached the hemisphere rock onto one side of the club, and then stuck the carving rock on the other side, jagged edge facing out. It looked a little bit like a hammer, with a blunt end and a sharp end. He secured the rocks, then got some purple goop. He spread it over the handle, filling the groves of his carving, and wiped off the excess with a cloth. Some inner sense told him that the purple goop would harden in contact with air, so he put the club down to dry. He looked down at his beautiful creation. It was a rock on a stick. No. Two rocks on a stick. But this time the stick glowed with a soft purple light, winding around enigmatic symbols, threatening some kind of arcane danger. Zig smiled.

  Time to find another trade ship.

  "Ok, that's eight. Two more to go."

  Hepp, Gretta, and Teeth wandered through the forest. Teeth had a rope held in her mouth. Tied to the rope were eight corpses of dire wolves. The huge beasts were slightly bigger than Hepp, each one. There was a bounty of ten gold for ten wolves, and selling the bodies would triple that. Hepp grimaced. The bodies that were intact, that was. Teeth had been feeling snackish the entire trip.

  They had Endurance, Hepp at Extreme, and Gretta at Advanced. Even so, they'd had to camp overnight in the woods, and this was the end of the second day of trying to track these creatures down. Hepp wondered if only eight existed, and the bounty was set for ten so that the guild wouldn't have to pay out. He was about to suggest they just go back and sell the eight corpses when he heard a sound that made the back of his neck prickle.

  It was a long howl. It carried over the forest for miles, but Hepp could see a hill not too far away that it seemed to be coming from. The adventurers picked up their pace, looking forward to being done with the quest. They didn't see the bears until Teeth whinnied in surprise. Her rope had suddenly gone slack, as one bear tore a wolf corpse off the line and ran off into the trees. Teeth did not like thieves, so she dropped the rope and sprinted after the bear, determined to reclaim her possession. Hepp was so distracted that the second bear almost reached him. It was a huge beast, barreling toward him with bloodshot eyes. Hepp stumbled back, and suddenly Gretta was between him and the bear. She planted her feet on the ground, lowered her stance, and held her shield in front of her. The huge bear collided with the dwarf woman and both of them fell back, stunned from the impact. Hepp took the moment to draw an arrow, focus, and loose. The arrow split into two mid air, and planted one each in the bear's eyes. The beast slumped and rolled over, making a low growling whine. Another cluster of arrows hit the bear's head. Most of them hit the bear's skull and didn't penetrate. Some of the arrows broke on impact. But one hit the back of the arrow in the bear's eye, pushing it much deeper. The bear went still.

  Teeth came back with a bear in her mouth, with a wolf in his mouth. The bear was struggling weakly, and Hepp put it out of its misery. They added the two bears to the rope, which was starting to strain with the amount of weight being pulled along. They kept going toward the hill where they'd heard the howl.

  They searched all night, but never found the source of the howl. But Gretta did find something interesting. They were halfway up the hill, when Gretta stopped.

  "Huh."

  She turned around and walked back a little ways.

  "Hmm."

  She turned back again and walked halfway to Hepp, then turned left and walked a bit more. She tapped her foot on the ground, and starting walking outwards in a spiral. Hepp looked at Teeth.

  "Women, eh?"

  Teeth frowned at Hepp, assuming he meant women were mysterious and powerful creatures, but suspecting he meant something else. Hepp suddenly felt very aware that he was alone in a forest with a gigantic fanged horse.

  "Haha, I mean, hey, Gretta? Want to hang out with Teeth for a while?"

  Gretta looked up from her foot-tapping.

  "Hmm? Come here, Hepp, see this patch of dirt here?"

  "Uh huh, not a bad patch of dirt, I suppose..."

  "No Hepp, it's what's under the dirt. I have Advanced Prospecting, remember?"

  "Oh. Oh! What's down there?"

  "I don't know, but it feels pretty significant. I think we might have found something. Something a bit more lucrative than hunting beasts. Less almost-dying too. Maybe we could—"

  Hepp stopped her, looking Gretta solemnly in the eyes and putting his hand on her shoulder.

  "You had me at less almost-dying."