A very excited band of Red Daggers met that night. They all went to the public baths together. Jints was willing to try it, but wasn't so accustomed to the practice. It was brand new to Lady Jane, who'd always had private baths whenever she wanted, but she was eager to be "miss Jane", and leave her lady ways behind. She was self conscious, though, and joined Zig's practice of creating a mountain of bubbles, and asking everyone to turn away until she was safe in her hideout of suds, just her head poking out.

  "We're rich, everyone. Beyond our wildest dreams." Zig announced with a smile from his own bubble fort.

  "We what? When? How?" Hepp asked.

  Zig explained to them his day of visiting everyone in town with any kind of plant collection. He'd hired out his harvesting skills—well, Jints had—and received a hefty sum of just over fifty gold. Jane's eyes widened at that.

  "Now, mister Zig, I must suggest that we don't actually have fifty three gold," Jints interrupted, "If we spend it all, then we must start again from scratch, and this time with all the greenhouses in the city empty. I think we should spend what we must, but put the rest to good use."

  "What, like investing?"

  "A more direct approach, mister Zig. I have some talent for spotting potential value, and while I mostly use that on people, I do have an eye for goods at the market. If you would give me a share of those funds, I can see what money I can raise with buying and selling. We could use the money now to put Lady Jane—"

  "Just Jane, thank you."

  "—to put miss Jane into the academy, but then she'd have nothing at all to purchase spells with."

  "What are you saying, Jints?"

  "I'm suggesting, mister Zig, that we need a lot of money. I wouldn't mind dabbling in some magical spells myself, and I presume you are all of a similar mind?"

  There were vigorous nods.

  "Then we'll need thousands of gold coins, mister Zig. Let's turn this town upside down, as it were."

  Zig smiled at that kind of ambition.

  "Let's do that, then. Any more ideas?"

  "Well, we never actually did a quest for the adventurers guild."

  "Good thinking, Hepp. That's one avenue. What else?"

  "Your harvesting is the most profitable by far, Zig, how about just starting a farm?"

  "That's true, Lady—miss Jane, but to be honest I don't know a thing about it. Perhaps Hepp can help me out? But it's also a longer term thing. I'm hoping for short-term wins."

  "I can get back into smithing, though Advanced Smithing on its own is fairly ordinary work. I could make maybe a gold a week, not much more."

  "Hmm, too slow I think Gretta. What about that prospecting skill of yours? Any way to abuse that at the Advanced level?"

  "Not in town, unless you want to know where the most metal is."

  "Hmm. Let's think on that."

  "Will do, Zig. In the mean time," everybody turned away as Gretta hopped out of the water with a splash.

  "Gretta, give us a warning next time!"

  "Shush, nothing you ain't seen. Nobody cares about a naked horse, but one dwarf takes off her pants and everyone loses their minds."

  Zig could only imagine her eye roll, because his eyes were tightly shut.

  "Ok, you can look now."

  Gretta had brought her shield to the bathhouse. She lifted it proudly and everyone oo'ed and ah'ed.

  "Made it myself today. By the way, we should bring some money to the smith who let me use her shop. I may have taken a good chunk of materials... and a hammer."

  "I thought that was a new hammer!" Hepp exclaimed. "It was driving me nuts. I remembered those thugs taking your other one, it was downright confusing to see you wearing one today."

  "Yea, well, we have a blacksmith named Lanie to thank for all this."

  Gretta jumped back into the pool, and Hepp jumped out just as fast. Everybody groaned and turned around.

  "Come on, Hepp! You were just complaining about Gretta doing the same thing!"

  Hepp ignored them completely, ran over to his pile of clothes and came back holding a piece of paper.

  "Ta da!"

  "Hepp please get in the pool and take half of my bubbles."

  Hepp jumped in, and waved a paltry amount of Zig's bubbles over himself. Everyone finally opened their eyes again to see what Hepp was holding. It was a drawing of a weird kind of arrow.

  "Is that a handle in the middle of the arrow?"

  "Is that a dagger with feathers?"

  "Hepp, what am I looking at? This is so weird."

  Hepp explained meeting Lucy and the weapons practice arena.

  "Something about the skill needs arrows to function. So if we make a dagger look enough like an arrow..."

  Zig's goblin-crafting senses were tingling.

  "Hepp that's amazing. Look at this drawing. It looks absolutely trash. I can't wait to make it."

  Hepp's face fell slightly.

  "Oh, ah, thanks Zig. But... I was really hoping Gretta would make this one. You know? So it could be nice solid steel and not... the Nest."

  "What's wrong with the Nest?"

  "Nothing! Nothing. She rides like a cloud. Made out of sticks. I just want something more refined, you know?"

  Zig thought of his own beautiful rapier, with the carvings and the brass handle and tassels, and sighed.

  "I get it. Hey, I haven't thought about it in all the chaos, but my sword's gone. I know they took your dagger, Hepp, and your hammer, Gretta. But that sword was really something. Not easily replaced."

  Some of Zig's good cheer wore off.

  "Hopefully it made its way to Beefcake. Then we can find it when we take him down. Ok at least let me give an idea for your arrow daggers. Your arrowaggers. Aggers. Arraggers. No, no, there'll be a good name in there somewhere."

  "What's the idea, Zig?"

  "Tassels, like my rapier had! You think that's close enough to feathers to pass for an arrow?"

  "There's only one way to find out."

  Gretta took a couple of gold coins and went to see Lanie, holding the paper designs that Hepp had made, covered in Zig's enthusiastic annotations. Zig, Hepp, and Jane sat around a table at the inn, finishing off lunch. Zig sighed.

  "Well, we'll need to find Beefcake. We've done some great things, but this curse is driving me insane. I don't think we can put it off much longer."

  Hepp nodded.

  "What's your plan, Zig?"

  Zig frowned.

  "Didn't we once make you the captain of the team, Hepp?"

  "You sure did, Zig."

  "How come I feel like I'm in the driving seat?"

  "Because you're Zig, Zig. I'll be your captain if you want me to. Your wish is my command."

  Hepp gave Zig a salute that was only half mockery.

  "Seriously, Zig. You're the legendary. You're the guy with the horse and the dreams. I'm just here for the ride."

  "...Thanks Hepp. I think. Ok so in terms of plans, I don't really have anything this time. Just... go in again? Try to beat up the first people we see in middle district, and hope that they're Beefcake's men? They'll need to be in one piece for questioning, so we beat them up but try not to rip them in half with rocks?"

  Miss Jane coughed politely.

  "You could always ask for assistance, Zig."

  "That's a good idea, miss Jane, but who would we ask? We have some money I guess, should we hire some adventurers?"

  Jane gave him a flat look.

  "I'm right here, Zig. Hello? The little lady is too precious to be of any use?"

  "What? Oh. Oh! No, no. That's not, I mean, wh—"

  Zig was turning red.

  "I'm sorry, Jane. I assumed you... Can you help? What could you do?"

  "Ah yes, what could Lady Jane possibly do? For starters, mister Zig, I could tell you where Beefcake's hideout is."

  A silence settled over the table. Then Zig burst out.

  "What? You know? How? When? How did—"

  "What did you think I got up to all day? I met with some of the ladies of Liston. Information is a game nobody plays better than the high court, Zig."

  Zig and Hepp were stunned, looking at Jane in a new light.

  "Grease me up and call me a goblin," Hepp swore. "You just did what three grown adventurers failed to do."

  "Sometimes you need a lady to get things done," Jane responded, inclining her head with a smile. She was feeling much better now, having recovered from the experience at the academy.

  Hepp ran to get a map.

  "We just need to do this one thing, Zig, trust me."

  "This will directly help with Beefcake? I really can't put it off any longer Hepp."

  "This will directly help with Beefcake, Zig. Come on it's just over there."

  A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  They were still waiting for Gretta to come back, and Hepp thought it was high time Zig upgraded his weapons. He waved at Lucy when she came into view, and she walked over to greet them.

  "Ho, Hepp! I wasn't expecting to see you again so soon! Who's your friend?"

  "Ho, Lucy! This here is Zig. He is in desperate need of some weapons help."

  "Well, you've come to the right place. Got two silver?"

  Zig handed over the money and was led to the piles of weapons.

  "So, what do you use to fight?"

  "I bought a rapier, but haven't really figured out how to use it yet."

  "Ok, sure, how long have you been fighting with it?"

  "Well, never, really. I just play around with it. If I really need to fight I use rocks."

  Lucy was very confused.

  "You use rocks?"

  "I use rocks."

  Lucy picked up a stone from the ground. She passed one to Zig and nodded toward a nearby training dummy.

  "What fighting skills have you got?"

  "Weapon proficiency - Rock"

  Lucy chuckled.

  "You serious? That's great, what else?"

  Zig scratched the back of his head.

  "Ah... I've got Endurance? Does that count?"

  "Ok, so not much of a fighter then. That's fine, we can work with that. Actually it broadens up your options, since you can start with anything. Go ahead and show me what you—"

  Zig threw the rock in his hand. A loud bang echoed through the arena, and everybody stopped fighting to watch the bits of wood fall to the ground.

  "Go Zig!"

  "Thanks Hepp."

  Lucy looked at the half of the dummy that was still standing, then back at Zig.

  "You use rocks."

  "I use rocks."

  "Why are you looking for anything else?" She gestured at the destruction in front of them. "You're doing this, and you want to switch to a rapier?"

  Zig shuffled his feet.

  "...I thought it looked cool."

  Lucy handed a rapier to Zig, and gestured to a new dummy. Zig took a tentative swing, and with a quiet "thok" the blade bit into the wood. Lucy went and got the same jar of glue she'd helped Hepp with. She dabbed some on the side of the blade, and stuck a rock to the rapier.

  "Ok, try this."

  Zig swung the rapier again and this time it bounced off the dummy, not even sticking into the wood.

  "I think that rules out rapiers. Hmm, let's try something more basic."

  Lucy grabbed a short length of wood. It looked like a spare axe handle. She added some glue and stuck to it the largest rock she could find. It looked like... well, it was a rock on a stick.

  "That's a rock on a stick."

  "Sure is, mister Zig. Now hold the stick end and swing at the dummy."

  Zig picked up the makeshift club. It was cruder than the ones the trolls had been wielding. He faced the rock side toward the dummy, reached out and tapped it on the head. The head cracked in half with a loud "thunk", and half the dummy's face fell off. Lucy smiled.

  "I think you've found your weapon. By the way, it's another silver for every dummy destroyed. It looks pretty cool though, so maybe someone will spot you the extra coin? It happens sometimes."

  Zig had been quite excited to leave rocks behind. A rock on a stick was... kind of an upgrade? It didn't quite give the "dashing prince" impression he was hoping for. He looked longingly at the chest full of proper steel weapons, then back at the rock on the stick.

  The rock peeled off the stick, and fell to the ground.

  Zig, Gretta, and Hepp met together outside the inn. Zig had used his goop collection to create a more permanent rock-on-a-stick, which he'd tucked into his belt. Gretta walked up to Hepp and handed him two strange daggers. The handle and most of the blade were thin like a stiletto, but the tip of the dagger widened into an arrowhead shape. Flowing out of the bottom of the hilt were red tassels similar to Zig's old rapier.

  "They're beautiful."

  That was all Hepp could say. He was dumbstruck at the quality. The steel glinted in the sunlight. The metal had a faint red color to it.

  "Lanie helped with the alloy. It's the same as steel, functionally. It just looks cool, and you know... Red Daggers, right?"

  Hepp made a few practice jabbing motions with one of the daggers, then threw it at the wall of the inn. The knife split into five and the tassels caught the air, helping all five blades to land point-first into the wall.

  "Hepp, not wanting to puff you up but you are looking so cool right now."

  "Thanks, Zig. This... This is..."

  Gretta quickly fetched the knife before the innkeeper could come and investigate the sound. She handed it back to Hepp and lifted her iron shield up.

  "I think we're ready to find Beefcake Jones, what do you think?"

  The three adventurers set out for middle district.

  Two men walked up to a beggar on the street. The beggar didn't see them until it was too late. She jerked back and turned to run the other way, only to see two more men walking up from the other direction.

  "Hello there miss, I see you are enjoying the hospitality of living in Beefcake's city. We're here to ensure rent is paid, seeing as you live on his streets 'n all."

  One of the men approached the beggar, holding out his hand with a smile. The beggar closed her eyes in defeat, reached into her pocket, and pulled out three copper coins.

  "Hmm, three coins? That barely covers my finders fee. I guess it'll do."

  The man tucked the three coins into his own money pouch.

  "But what will you give to mister Beefcake?"

  The beggar looked in alarm at the man's money pouch.

  "That... that was all that I have. Please."

  The man shook his head sadly.

  "How unkind of you, to abuse mister Beefcake's hospitality like this. Well, I do have a bit of good news for you. I heard there's a secret to begging. A way to really get the generosity flowing from the good people of Liston."

  He slowly drew a club from his belt.

  "Nothing like a cripple to get pity money. Mister Beefcake sends his regards..."

  He lifted his club, ready to bring it down on the girl's leg. Instead, he dropped it when knives went through his hand, his head, and into the backs of all three of his associates. They'd been entranced by their boss's performance, and had completely forgotten to keep a lookout.

  The man with a knife in his head sank to the street. The three men with knives in their backs screamed, pulled out their own knives and clubs, and ran to attack the man who'd thrown the knives. A short woman stepped in their way. She was holding a solid iron shield. One of the thugs dropped his shoulder to ram her. It didn't work out for him. He fell back with a crunching sound, his shoulder a wet mess of bone fragments and flesh. The other two ran past the terrifying shield woman. A man stepped out from behind some crates, and swung a club. One of the thugs was suddenly covered, absolutely covered in the blood and guts of his friend. The whole alley was sprayed red. The final thug remaining screamed, threw down his knife, and huddled on the floor.

  He was a sobbing mess. It took the Red Daggers a while to get him to a state where he could even speak.

  "We might have over done it, Hepp."

  "I thought Gretta and I did just fine, Zig. I do believe the problem was when you turned this man's friend into a liquid."

  The wailing cries grew louder in the background.

  "...I might have over done it, Hepp."

  Hepp nodded as he tried to wipe blood off his face.

  "I know we just started, but can we go back for towels? This blood is disturbingly sticky."

  "Sorry Hepp, I really can't do anything else right now. This curse is killing me."

  Zig felt light-headed and shaky. Only taking direct action towards Beefcake gave him any kind of relief.

  "You'd think, with all my skills, that it wouldn't be this bad. Come on."

  Zig grabbed the thug who was still crying.

  "Hey, it's me, I'm the guy that coated you in your friend. Where's Beefcake?"

  It was the wrong thing to say, apparently, because there was another five minutes of wailing and crying. Gretta shooed Zig around a corner to be out of sight. She went back to the man and asked him a few questions. Eventually, she let him go, and he scampered out of sight.

  "What did he say?" Zig asked.

  "Nothing useful. He's never met Beefcake, can't give a description. Didn't even give a location, though Jane's source says it's around this spot somewhere."

  The Red Daggers looked around. Should they just start breaking down doors? That seemed a little too much like what the thugs would do. Could they just wait to find another group, and not kill the leader this time? They wandered around a little bit, trying to see if one area looked shadier than the rest.

  They were walking down a street when Zig saw a flicker of movement. Rounding a corner in the distance was a group of thugs. A lot of thugs. Zig counted a dozen of them, all holding weapons, walking toward the Red Daggers with purpose. Leading them was... Zig sighed. Of course.

  It was the man they'd let go.

  "Think we can take them?" Zig asked.

  "Not if we need to watch our backs," Hepp replied worriedly.

  Zig turned around and saw another group, just as large, approaching them from the other end of the street. He gulped. This might be more than they could handle. How could Gretta stay in front, if there were two fronts? His heart beat faster as he tried to figure out what to do. He bent down and picked up a rock from the ground.

  "This might get nasty."

  Zig was about to throw when there was a voice.

  "Psst. Over here. Come on."

  A pile of garbage blocking a tiny side alley had shifted, and a green hand was poking out of it, beckoning them to come in. Zig took another look at the two groups of thugs closing in on them.

  "Let's go."

  They ran to the tiny alley, and the garbage shifted to let them through. Zig blinked in surprise. It was the weird kid he'd seen earlier.

  "I've seen you before. You knew my name!"

  "Yea, yea, we're the Mutts, nice to meet you. I don't think we have time for hellos. Do you think you can fight them off from here? There's no way out from this place."

  Zig realized the little green boy was speaking the truth. It wasn't another alley, it ended in a solid wall. They were trapped. On the other hand...

  "This is perfect. Thank you. Gretta, there's only one opening, looks narrow. Think you can hold off thirty men?"

  "Zig, the day I can't hold off thirty men is the day I retire."

  Gretta lifted her shield and walked up to the entrance. She pushed garbage around to make it even more blocked for the thugs trying to get in. As she shifted the piles, another boy fell out with a yelp. He had blue skin and weirdly large eyes. He sprang out of the trash and jumped to stand with the green boy, behind the adventurers.

  "How many of you are there?" Hepp asked.

  A third boy sheepishly came out of another pile of garbage. He was boy-shaped and boy-sized, despite the impressive beard covering his face. He gave a little wave and ran to be with the other two.

  Zig wanted to say hi, but at that stage the thugs had reached the entrance.

  "They're over here, they're trapped!" One of them shouted.

  "You bastards killed Loons!" Another of them cried out and rushed through the gap. He was holding a small axe, and lifted it high. Gretta swung her shield and the man bounced off the wall of the alley.

  "Come on then, there's only three of us!" Gretta shouted. "And I'm half your height!"

  One by one they all started climbing through the gap. Zig had a weird deja vu sensation. This was how they defeated all the goblins in the mines. It was the same idea. The thugs squeezed into the narrow gap, climbing over garbage and their fallen comrades. They met Gretta's shield, if they were lucky. Zig's rocks, if they weren't. Hepp sometimes threw his knives, but they were hard to recover safely, so he mostly stayed behind Gretta, stabbing when stabbing was needed. When half the men were lying on the alley floor, causing quite the blockage, and the walls were painted quite red from Zig's rock throws, it dawned on the remaining thugs that things weren't going as planned.

  "Let's get out of here. Regroup back at the base."

  They started to run away. Hepp leapt forward, rushed out onto the street, and threw both of his knives at the fleeing gang. Ten flying daggers struck the back of the group, and four of the thugs stumbled with cries. The rest ran off, but Zig and Gretta quickly caught up to the four on the ground. Zig tried to—extremely carefully—tap one of them on the shoulder, and the man cried out in pain without turning into paste. Zig was quite proud of that. Hepp was standing over another one, holding out a dagger and warning him not to move, and Gretta simply stomped on the other two. They stayed down.

  "Ok, out of these four, one of them's bound to know Beefcake. Oi, you lot," Gretta said, "where's Beefcake Jones? Where's your base?"

  The two she'd stomped on were unconscious, and Zip's thug was too busy groaning in pain. Hepp's victim, however, spoke up.

  "We don't know where he is. We've never met the man. We just work for him."

  Zig raised an eyebrow.

  "If I had gold coin for every time..."

  "We know where Beefcake is. His base of operations, at least."

  Zig turned, and saw the three kids coming out of the little alleyway. They were a strange sight, now that he could see them in the sunlight. One green, one quite hairy, one blue with big eyes.

  "You lot aren't quite human, are you?"

  "Guilty as charged, mister Zig," the green one said. "My name's Knob, I'm a half goblin. This here is Sniffs, half gnoll, and that's Gutters, half troglodyte. Together, we're the Mutts."

  "What's a troglodyte?"

  Knob gestured vaguely at Gutters.

  "That."

  Gutters blinked his big eyes, one eye at a time, and waved.

  "Hello."

  "Ho, Gutters. I'm Zig."

  "Hello," Gutters said again. He seemed a little shy. Zig turned back to Knob, who seemed to be the leader of the group.

  "So, mister Knob, you know their hideout? You can take us there?"

  The green boy nodded, touching the knuckles on one hand with the other.

  "Ok, that sounds good. But I have to ask, have you guys been following us? Why do you know my name?"

  The Mutts looked at each other.

  "We... have been following you," Knob confessed. "We thought you might be one of us."

  "We saw the wagon you drove into the city," Sniffs added, "Knob recognized the goblin-craft, and I could smell that you were the one who built the thing."

  "I smell like I built a wagon?"

  "You smell like you built that wagon."

  "Huh... that's quite the nose. And because I built it, you thought I'm half goblin?"

  "You're not?"

  "Sorry Knob. I'm all human."

  "But... how do you know goblin-crafting? And how come your speaking to us like we're not dirt on your shoe?"

  Zig didn't know what to say to that.

  "I got goblin-crafting from a skill. I... killed a lot of goblins, and got a legacy skill. Sorry, Knob. As for—do people not speak to you kindly?"

  Knob gave Zig a weary smile.

  "We live in little trash piles because being seen with green skin is much worse than living in trash."

  "Ah."

  Zig looked at the three boys, supporting each other and looking at the Red Daggers with a mixture of hope, awe, and fear.

  "How old are you guys?"

  "Somewhere between twelve and fourteen, I think."

  "You don't know? Yeesh."

  Zig turned to Gretta and Hepp.

  "I know it's sudden, but, do you think the Red Daggers could squeeze a few more in the ranks?"

  Hepp nodded, and Gretta spoke to the boys.

  "Where are your people? Do you have family? A home?"

  The three boys shook their heads.

  "We're not the sort that people'd keep around. All we've got is each other."

  It hit Gretta hard. She'd been without a family. She walked over to the boys and held out her hand to each of them.

  "We're the Red Daggers. Adventuring team. We're kinda new, and don't really know what we're doing, but we've got a lot of firepower, a lot of heart, and a big scary horse. You're welcome to join us if you want. You'll never have to live in a trash pile, I can promise you that."

  "Teeth!"

  Zig clapped his hands over his head, slightly ruining the moment of these boys finding a way out of the slums of middle district.

  "I completely forgot! She's still in the adventurers guild stables! Hooo boy I hope she hasn't eaten too many horses."

  Zig looked back in the direction of the adventurers guild, and a very cruel thing happened. He wanted, with all his being, to go check on his horse. The mad beast had grown on him, and he didn't want her stuck in a stable for days on end. Yet he couldn't move. Couldn't take a single step away from Beefcake Jones. The curse was getting stronger.

  "I can't," Zig said as he struggled with his body, "I can't even take a step in the wrong direction. This curse is insane."

  "You're cursed?" Knob asked hesitantly.

  "Gotta find Beefcake. You said you know where he is? Let's go."

  "I know where their base is," Knob clarified, "where the grip comes from. Hopefully he's there. Never actually seen the man myself."

  "You and everybody else," Zig muttered to himself.

  The Red Daggers, all six of them, started running after Knob, finally heading toward Beefcake's base.