"If they become belligerent, or if they demand you fetch more wine after you have cut them off, do not argue. The magic phrase with this group is 'Very well, I shall go ask Princess Víl? if she approves of ' whatever it is. I promise you, they will sober up faster than a man plunged into an ice lake. They are terrified of disappointing her. Use that fear when you must."

  Chuckling, Ethel nods.

  Melina hands her a ring of keys, "This is the door key, the larder key, the cellar key, and heavy wooden ladle."

  "The keys I understand but the ladle?" Ethel asks.

  Melina mimes rapping some knuckles with it, "Remember, they are toddlers with beards."

  Celia snickers behind her hand and nods, "We'll see to it."

  Later that evening, Melina flops down in a chair in our rooms at the palace.

  I look at her, "How did it go? Did you find someone?"

  Melina nods, "I've hired them a nanny and a maid to come in the evenings and clean up. And you? How was your day?"

  "We've finally loaned out enough money that the bank is now profitable. Jan is delighted, although he doesn't understand the sewer project. I know I don't plan to wade through a backed-up sewer if we have to bring goods in down the river. I'm certain that none of the other Fey will be pleased if they have to do it, either. Rather than have them complain to Ellisar, I'll just deal with it myself. Oskar should have already done it. If he'd built the port expansion instead of the second and third hunting lodges, he'd have the funds for it. I'll have to go to Varpua for a few days to find someone to oversee the harbor expansion," I explain.

  "Will Oskar let you?" Melina asks.

  I chuckle, "He'll have to if he wants his loan to expand the harbor. Otherwise, nothing will happen. There will be no ceremony for him to wave his silver shovel around at. Duke Jellema is recommending some reliable people, so it should only be a few days."

  Kenric comes in, "Oskar doesn't want you to go to Varpua at all."

  I look at Kenric and shrug, "Then there will be no harbor expansion. If I have no one to oversee the construction, I won't authorize the release of the funds. Furthermore, you have to come with me since I'm not allowed to sign binding contracts in Centis. As my husband, you're the only other one who can. Centis law doesn't provide any exclusions for female ambassadors or bankers."

  "It really is a boys' club, isn't it?" Kenric says.

  I nod, "It's already created some problems for me, but I've managed to work around them so far. This one, though, I'm not hiring an agent I can't investigate personally. Ellisar would never forgive me for not doing my due diligence. Since I don't plan to be personally responsible for the debts to Ellisar, I'm going to Varpua, or they can forget the port. I'll find something else to invest in, and that's going to make Jellema angry. Oskar can't really afford to make Jellema angry."

  Kenric looks at me, "Why would that make Jellema angry?"

  I shake my head, wondering if I really have to explain this. It seems that I do. "Jellema gets a percentage of the tariffs and taxes he collects for Oskar. If this port expansion falls through, Jellema stands to miss quite a bit of income. Jellema already owns Duke De Boer, and now he's got Nelis Doerr under his thumb. Lindeman is missing, and Pleiter is in the dungeon. If Oskar's smart, he'll handle Jellema carefully. The problem is that Oskar isn't smart. Oskar isn't that much different than his oldest son."

  Kenric shrugs, still not understanding.

  I frown at him, "Jellema has a power block with his control of two of the other dukes. The other two dukes are essentially powerless since one's missing and one's still officially a duke but parked in a dungeon somewhere. Oskar should be concerned with not making Jellema unhappy."

  I see understanding dawning in Kenric's face, and he nods, "I'll talk to Jellema, and we'll both go to Oskar next time."

  I roll my eyes, "You'd think we were leaving, never to return. It's a few days, at most a week. That surely won't disrupt whatever bet he has going on with the dukes."

  King Oskar is currently winning at cards, which means the mood in the solar is tolerable. He sits at the table, a pile of gold coins, mostly won from Duke Jellema, stacked in front of him.

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  "Your luck is turning, Majesty," Jellema says, losing another hand with graceful inefficiency. "Though I suppose it helps that the Queen is not playing tonight."

  "Grethe plays too conservatively," Oskar scoffs, raking in the pot. "She lacks... spirit."

  The door opens, and Kenric enters. He does not look like a man full of spirit. He looks like a man who has been arguing with a force of nature for six hours. He is pale, he is rubbing his temples, and his doublet is slightly disheveled.

  "Kenric!" Oskar cheers, drunk on victory. "Come! Win your money back! We are playing Iron and Embers."

  Kenric bows low. "I fear I cannot, Your Majesty. I am... exhausted."

  "Trouble in paradise?" Oskar asks, grinning. He enjoys the idea that the perfect Fey couple fights.

  "The Princess is... particular," Kenric sighs, sinking into a chair near the fire. "We have interviewed nine master builders for the harbor project today. She rejected all of them."

  "Nine?" Jellema asks, feigning surprise, though he and Kenric rehearsed this conversation an hour ago.

  "The first one had 'shifty eyes'," Kenric recites. "The second one used 'inferior ink' on his blueprints. And the third one... well, she asked him a question about tidal erosion and shear strength, and when he stuttered, she told him to go back to building sandcastles."

  Oskar chuckles. "She is fierce."

  "She is impossible," Kenric corrects. "She refuses to hire anyone based on drawings. She says, and I quote, 'I will not pour sixty thousand gold crowns into the sea based on a sketch made by a man who has never smelled a low tide.'"

  Jellema leans forward. "Majesty, this is a problem. The spring tides are coming. If the foundations aren't laid within two weeks, we lose the entire season. That is a year of tariffs lost. A year of... revenue."

  He lets the word revenue hang in the air. Oskar’s ears twitch.

  "Why can't she just pick one?" Oskar complains. "A pier is a pier. Piles of wood. Rocks. Water. It isn't a cathedral."

  "She insists on going to Varpua," Kenric says, dropping the bomb. "She wants to inspect the coastline herself. She wants to hire the overseer herself. She wants to interview the local shipwrights. She says she needs to 'taste the salt' to ensure the investment is sound."

  Oskar frowns. He sits up straight. "Leave? No. No, no. The court is in session. The roads are icy. It is out of the question."

  He is thinking of the bet. He is thinking that if Víl? leaves, she might not come back, and then Duke Keimpe and Duke Nelis will laugh at him and take his hunting lodge.

  "That is what I told her," Kenric says, looking defeated. "I told her, 'The King requires us here.' I told her the roads are dangerous."

  "And?"

  "And she told me that if she cannot verify the structural integrity of the breakwater, she will pull the funding," Kenric says flatly. "She said she would rather burn the money than throw it into a 'shoddy, human-built puddle'."

  Jellema gasps dramatically. "Pull the funding? Majesty, the contracts are signed! The workmen are hired! If the Bank withdraws now..."

  "I would look like a fool," Oskar snaps. "She promised me a pier!"

  "She promises a perfect pier," Kenric amends. "She just needs a week. Seven days. We ride to Varpua, she screams at some seagulls, she hires a foreman who meets her standards, and we return."

  Oskar narrows his eyes. "You both go?"

  "I have to go," Kenric pleads, looking at the King with desperate eyes. "Sire, if I let her go to a port city alone? With her checkbook? She will buy the navy. She might buy the ocean. I need to be there to... moderate her."

  Oskar looks at his cards. He looks at Jellema.

  "It is a lot of gold to lose, Majesty," Jellema murmurs. "And... frankly... the court could use a week of quiet. She has been... very active lately. The incident with the rats? The bear cloak?"

  Oskar shudders, remembering the rats. He looks at the bear cloak, which is currently draped over his throne in the Great Hall, terrorizing the servants.

  "A week?" Oskar haggles.

  "Ten days at most," Kenric promises. "Just to Varpua and back."

  "And you leave the Bank here," Oskar points out shrewdly. "The Vault stays."

  "The Vault is heavy, Sire. It is not going anywhere," Kenric assures him. "And neither is the Silver Ledger. She has to come back. She is the only one who can sign the withdrawal slips for the grain shipments."

  This is the clincher. Oskar knows Víl? loves her money more than she loves freedom. She would never abandon the Bank.

  "Fine," Oskar grunts, waving a hand. "Go. Fix the pier. Hire the builder. But if you are not back in ten days, I will... I will levy a tax on... overly long teeth!"

  "You are gracious, Majesty," Kenric says, standing up with renewed energy. "I will tell her immediately. Before she decides to fire the Minister of Public Works for having 'untrustworthy shoes'."

  Kenric bows and retreats. As the door closes, Jellema hides a smile behind his wine glass.

  "A wise decision, Majesty," Jellema says. "Think of the tariffs."

  "I am thinking," Oskar mutters, picking up the deck. "I am thinking that for ten days, I can finally walk down my own hallways without worrying that the carpet is judging me."

  Kenric is packing his saddlebags. He looks relieved, like a man who has successfully defused a bomb by throwing it out a window.

  "He agreed immediately," Kenric says, folding a shirt. "He actually seemed eager to see us go. He kept talking about the importance of 'structural integrity'."

  "He does not care about structural integrity," I say, standing by the window of our chambers, looking down at the courtyard where the carriage is being loaded. "He cares about the structural integrity of his ego. He wants me gone so he can be the biggest man in the room again."

  "Is that so bad?" Kenric asks. "A week in Varpua? Fresh air? Seafood?"

  "It is not bad for us," I admit. "But for him?"

  I turn from the window.

  "He thinks he has banished the strict governess so he can play in the mud," I say coldly. "He does not realize that the governess has already written his final report card."

  "And?" Kenric asks, pausing.

  "He has failed, Kenric. Terminally."

  I walk to the desk and pick up the heavy iron key to the Master Vault.

  "I have audited his soul, his treasury, and his character. He is insolvent in all three. He is not a King; he is a liability. And one does not fix a liability. One hedges against it."

  

  
• unlimited budget,


  
• unlimited wine,


  
• unlimited freedom…


  

  A live?in nanny for three highly volatile, wine-fueled creative tornadoes.

  

  
• Solid.


  
• Experienced.


  
• Unflappable.


  
• Willing to use a wooden ladle for disciplinary purposes.


  

  

  

  
• a nanny armed with a ladle,


  
• a King terrified of seagulls and contracts,


  
• a Princess threatening entire national infrastructure through sheer annoyance,


  
• political intrigue disguised as marital dialogue,


  
• and Oskar’s ongoing belief that he can outmaneuver a Fey woman armed with silk, ledgers, and spite.


  

  Still no guesses on Dominico, Holger, and Merovech? Let me know in the comments...