I looked at Shady, who was tilting her head curiously, then back at Nexxali. "Nexy, you're high on catnip. And Shady's... getting better but still not exactly herself right now. That's probably not the best combination for getting into a… polyamorous triangle relationship.”

  “You think that my feelings aren't real just because I’m high?” Nexxali tisked, straightening her posture. "Fine." Her voice rippled with compulsion-laced resonance. "Nexxali Everrim, restore full cognitive function."

  Her pupils contracted sharply, the foggy looseness in her movements tightening into something more controlled. She blinked several times, then focused on me.

  "There," she said. She turned to Shady and extended her paw. "M’kay. Before we get to any fun stuff… My Princess, I wish to formalize what we discussed at the lakeshore."

  Shady studied her for a moment. "Cat wishes to be circle of our circle? Forever?"

  "Forever," Nexxali agreed. "I'm certain of it now. You and Ash are exactly what I want. My musicating’s convinced me of it.”

  Shady nodded.

  Nexali turned to me with a serious expression. “Say, why is the Princess like this? How long has she been ranting about circles?”

  “About two days now,” I sighed. “It’s something she’s done to herself to hide her Astral imprint from her family.”

  “Hrmmm. If you allow me to command you, my voice might help you, my Lady?” the serval offered. “I promise to put my entire Skill into it wholeheartedly!”

  “Yes.” Shady nodded. "Shady… permits cat to boss her tonight."

  Nexxali's voice once again became entwined with itself: "Aquillianne Quantivia Frontenachii, by your own permission, I command you: reconnect what was severed! Become whole. Heal. Let your thoughts flow clearer. Lean on my voice and fully open your mind for support! Use your mental hooks, dig into my mind as much as possible to fully fill in all that is missing in your understanding. Nexxali, entwine your mind with Aquillianne, become an extension of her thoughts!”

  She slid into Shady’s lap and closed her eyes. The Frontenachii Princess wrapped her dark hands around the naked serval. She then stared at me with wide, silver eyes.

  “Did it work?” I asked.

  “Yep.” She nodded after a minute of silence, sounding more like her old self.

  “Are you back?”

  “Maybe I am, maybe I'm not…” She mused.

  “Shady,” I said. “That's not helping."

  “I was never gone, you know,” Shady supplied after another unnervingly deep and long pause. “Never ever. Just… a bit off. Sideways. Still am, I suppose. Just less so, thanks to this one. Sweet, lost, lonely, sad kitten.” She began kneading Nexalli who started to purr.

  She fell silent once again, seemingly organizing her thoughts.

  “Your plan failed,” I pointed out what had been gnawing at me since Shady stopped being coherent. “The Frontenachii found us.”

  “They found this Earth, but not where I am. Honestly, I have no idea what my plan even was,” Shady shrugged, tilting her head slightly. “There’s a permanent gap in my memories. The last thing I remember was watching the Lampshade Podcast at Skyfall and getting very pissed off. Pissed off enough to…”

  “To what?”

  “I have no idea,” she shrugged. “Pissed off to run away from Omnithornia to a world without magic? To hang out with my kobold bestie? Uhhh... right... I think I met Lissander Fox at Skyfall, got even more angry... then went to see my aunt to procure the door to get here. Anyways, do you have a complaint or something? I feel like things kind of worked out… not just for us but for a few others from the Third fleet. We’re together and we have a bossy kitten.” She patted Nexxali.

  “Uh-huh. There’s a fleet in orbit harvesting people.” I pointed out.

  “And you’re doing something about it, are you not, Emperor mine?” She asked. “Honestly, I’m hella impressed. You’ve done… so much in so little time. Impressed and bothered. What’s up with all these thirsty girls hovering around you? ‘Specially this one. Soooo much thirst.” She squeezed Nexxali tightly, making the purring serval let out a bothered ‘miyowrl’ noise.

  “I’m blaming you for that one,” I said. “If you didn’t chop my mind in two, I wouldn’t be able to stand up to North, or Nexxali, or Galateya. Since you lost your mind, I’ve seriously done nothing but repel vampire, cat and dragon advances, struggling to stay alive by the skin of my teeth.”

  “Fine, fine,” Shady relaxed, resting her dark skull-head between Nexxali’s big, fluffy ears. “You get to live.”

  “How generous.”

  Both of us fell silent, staring at each other.

  “Ashy,” she said finally, “I'm sorry. I messed up pretty bad, I… think.”

  “What did you even expect to happen?” I asked.

  Her hand reached out to mine, squeezing tight. “I expected for us to be together. The rest is… irrelevant details. As long as I'm with you, I'm happy… I think. That's how true friendship works, right… BFF?”

  The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  “What about her?” I asked, pointing at the naked serval in Shady's lap.

  “Hrmm?”

  “Yes,” Nexxali opened a single gold eye. “What about me? How do you feel about me now that I've reconnected your scrambled thoughts into a coherent state? Does our deal still stand, my Lady?”

  “The deal stands,” Shady said.

  “You don't think that it's… weird?” I wondered. “Polyamorous relationships are pretty rare for humans.”

  “I’m not a human, so not really,” Shady shrugged. “In Omnithornia the Omnid female to male ratio is two to one. Usually two girls share one male through an arranged marriage. One Omnid female serves as the Family’s Prima handling income, while the second becomes a Hearth Keeper taking care of the household compound. Sometimes it is more than three, if the triangle can find truly devoted Knights and kobolds.”

  “Nexxali is devoted to us then?” I wondered.

  The serval girl nodded.

  “She is,” Shady affirmed, stroking Nexxali's head. “Our kitten might not outright show it, but she is incredibly desperate for affection. She's never had a genuine relationship, never been offered a collar with hearts. She's head over claws in love with you and will never ever let you go.”

  “Dang,” I let out. “That much in love?”

  “I'd say… she's around two hundred percent all in,” Shady said, silver eyes lighting up. “Mostly because binding herself to me as kobold would really tear through her fleet servitude contract and she'll finally be able to sing, relax, have fun and get high whenever she wants to without horrible blood-boiling consequences. With us in charge, she feels that she'll finally be able to be… herself.”

  Nexxali nodded, hugging Shady's arm.

  “What about the others?” I asked.

  “The vamp is very impressed with you changing the entire world for her sake, infecting the Earth with a new fungi, just so she can go out to karaoke with her sister,” Shady said. “Her devotion to us is around ten percent, mixed with sadness of losing her family. Plus she's scared of you and me. That's why she didn't come to our room like this one.”

  “Her loss,” Nexxali shrugged.

  “And Galateya?”

  “The dragon has feelings for you, but she's also very bothered by your incessant lies. I'd rate her affection for you at ten, fifteen percent at most. Not enough for me to embrace her yet as our Hearth Keeper. I'd have to talk to her some more about her plans and dreams.”

  “Aight,” I said. “Glad to have you back, Shades.”

  “Glad to be back,” she smiled. “Thankfully, whatever the fuck I did to myself was fairly easy to fix with a devoted, talented Charmer, meaning that it was some kind of an Astral-affecting memetic weapon. Basically, as long as I am near this kitten and we both have mana, I'll be able to sink my brain hooks fully into her and… think clearly, use her mind as a secondary processor since mine’s still more than half scrambled.”

  I nodded.

  “Hands please,” Shady ordered.

  I offered her my hands.

  “You too, kitty.”

  Nexxali offered her hands. The Frontenachii Princess used her sharp black claws to quickly slice dagaz runes into our palms.

  “You already know what to say Ashy,” she grinned at me. “Go on.”

  I looked at the rune bleeding across my hands.

  "By the ancient Omnid laws,” I began, “I, Ashcroft Julian Clifford accept... Aquillianne Quantivia Frontenachii and Nexxali Everrim as my equals, bound by the power of Aquillianne’s fractal engine heart, by our blood and soul… with the option for others to join our circle!"

  Shady nodded with a smile.

  She and Nexxali spoke together next, almost as one, repeating the words. Shady squeezed my right hand with her left. Her right hand entwined itself with Nexxali’s right hand. My left hand gripped Nexxali's left hand.

  "In every world," we spoke together. “Across eternity.”

  Again, a violet curtain of stars draped itself across reality.

  As I stared at the surreal endless constellations, I found Nexxali licking my bleeding palms. Then she sprayed the cuts with a small, dark bottle of something and placed a hexagonal-textured sphere in my hand.

  “What the—” I blinked.

  “Insurance,” she said. “Got it from the Corpse Seeker while you were cooking us steaks. A Lazarus bracelet. I’ll bring you back if you die.”

  “Is this thing going to track me?” I wondered.

  “No,” Nexxali replied. “The bracelet’s only function is resurrection.”

  “It's a Divine-tier magitech that the Frontenachii stole from Omnithornia, which in turn stole it from another corpse world,” Shady added. “Omnids themselves have no idea how it works, just that it does.”

  “Will it even work on me?” I wondered.

  “It worked on the three of your presidents our Scruts executed. They all got resurrected and then spliced apart into wall art for their resistance against the Frontenachii Aegis. It’ll basically hold onto your soul and bring you back via an incarnator temple up on the fleet,” Nexxali said. “Your body is not magical, so you’ll probably lose a month or two and some memories. I’ll be there for you, promise. Just say ‘bind me’.”

  I looked at Shady.

  “It'll be fine,” she said. “I got one too, see?” A barely visible, flat, hexagonal-textured bracelet glinted on her right wrist.

  “Bind me,” I said.

  The ball unfolded into a centipede-like thing that rapidly slithered around my wrist and then dug into my hand, making me wince. Then the pain vanished, replaced with pulsating warmth. The bracelet became two dimensional hexagons circling my wrist.

  “There, you’re extra safe now… if we break you tonight,” Nexxali purred.

  Shady nodded.

  “Break me ho—” I wasn't able to finish my words as I found my mouth entwined with Nexxali’s.

  The kiss deepened, her slightly rough tongue exploring my mouth with urgent hunger. Her paws gripped my shoulders, claws pricking just enough to send sparks down my spine. I accepted the kiss and pulled her closer, hands sliding along her furred back, feeling the muscles beneath.

  Shady watched us. “Mmmm… moving fast are we?”

  Our lips parted with a soft, lingering pull, and Nexxali's golden eyes locked onto mine, sparkling with liquid desire that made my pulse thunder in my ears. She tasted like catnip and pasta, her breath warm against my skin as she hovered just inches away, fur brushing my skin.

  “Mrrrrr," she let out huskily.

  I breathlessly traced the curve of her hips where they flared out into powerful thighs, the few-degree higher warmth of her body seeping into me like sunlight after a summer rainstorm. Then I glanced at Shady. The cryptid stared at us making out with luminous silver pools, elongated skull tilting in curious fascination.

  Shady's claws flexed against the sheets, and she let out a low, rumbling sound. "Undress him,” she ordered. “Slowly. Make it a show."

  Nexxali's ears perked up, and she shot Shady a sly grin over her shoulder. "As you command, my Lady." She slowly removed the tie, then tugged the shirt’s fabric up over my head and tossed it aside with a satisfied hum.

  "Here we go. Much better. Now, about the pants..." Her fingers worked at my belt, unbuckling it with a click.

  . . .

  []

  [Via "Stupid Sexy Cryptids ahead" or "All Books" option.]