“Don't get me wrong,” Nexxali said with a mewl as Shady squeezed her, “I'm not making up feelings… It’s more like, uhhh… I'm trying to understand them and also to build safeguards.”

  “Understand what?” I asked.

  “Like, dumb questions… What if I'm… I'm so desperate for connection that my brain's just manufacturing excessive caring?" Nexxali expressed.

  “Safeguards for what?” Shady tilted her antlers.

  “Safeguards against murderous jealousy. Not that I feel any now. But I might! I'm a prad girl after all. We don't handle sharing men well. You saw how Kawathra and Linari acted! I don't want any of that. Hence, safeguards! Lots of safeguards!”

  “We were sharing just fine tonight,” I pointed out. “Why do you need safeguards?”

  “Sure, but what if I fuck it up?” She asked. “I really don't want to fuck this up. It's my first genuine… non imaginary relationship! Safeguards are in place so I don't get jealous, or weird, or annoying, or snappy! A good girlfriend should make her man hard and her dragon Lady wet! At all times!”

  “Seems like you are overthinking it,” I chortled, “people are allowed to disagree about things.”

  “I want to disagree calmly while not being high. And am not people! Am a girl prad!” Nexxali insisted. “Prad girls get crazy during cycle. The fleet has meds that suppress such but I don't like taking them since I can just sing to myself to chill out. Anyways, I don't want to get murdery! I'm broken enough as it is!”

  "Relax, kitten. Let me sample your innermost feels,” Shady leaned over and gave Nexxali a long, contemplative lick from jaw to ear. The serval squeaked in surprise. "Ah. Tastes like... hmm, like someone took devotion and care and cranked them up to eleven, then wrapped them in desperate hope and deep-fried them in abandonment issues. Much broken.”

  "Wow, thanks for clarifying that," Nexxali said dryly. "I'm basically emotional junk food, huh?"

  "No, no, shush, it's a good kind of broken!" Shady insisted. "Like, the kind of care and devotion you're showing shouldn't actually be achievable from a prad kobold to a Wendigo Omnid she just met. We're… predator and prey, master dragon and servant. But you..." She licked Nexxali again, making the serval's fur stand on end. "You've got something deeper. Like a link I can taste but can't name. It's like finding out your chicken nuggets have a gooey center of existential yearning. Mmmmm."

  “Yeah, I guess,” Nexxali sighed. “Anyways, I am trying to understand and refine my relationship with incepted songs. That’s all.”

  “You do you, catio,” Shady said.

  "Question,” I voiced. “Are we officially dating then?"

  Both of them turned to stare at me.

  "I mean," I continued, "we had sex, we're cuddling in my dreams, there's talk of feelings and inception and stuff, but like... what actually is this? Are we a throuple? Friends with benefits? Some weird alien polycule situation?"

  "Why do you need a label?" Shady asked. “Was the Dagaz pact not clear enuff for ya?”

  "Because I'm human and we literally label everything," I said. "We have seventeen different words for types of rain. I need to know what to tell my brain this is."

  "Tell your brain we're a circle," Shady chortled.

  “My brain tells me that I regret using GoTube to teach you about circles,” I huffed.

  Shady laughed.

  "From my perspective…” Nexxali began, then fell silent, then opened her mouth again. “I'm desperately in love with both of you in a way that definitely indicates severe emotional dysfunction. Like, the kind of attachment that’d make Kawathra add a note to my personal file: 'Subject exhibits extreme codependence after single night of intimacy, possibly due to decades of emotional self-manipulation and touch starvation.'"

  "Brutally honest," I said.

  “An honesty sandwich!” Shady nodded, smooshing me into the serval girl. “Now kiss!”

  "Oh, I'm not done being pathetically honest," Nexy continued, offering me a shy smooch. "I've literally been alone for so long that just holding your hand makes me want to cry. I spent years telling myself I didn't need anyone, charming myself into believing isolation was strength… And now I'm basically like a dumb, tail-wagging, singing dog who follows you into your dreams and refuses to leave. Except I'm a cat, which makes it worse because cats are supposed to be independent."

  "You're not pathetic, you are…" I began.

  "I fell for you after you ran me over with a car and smacked me with a data hostage situation," she interrupted. "That's like...

  “…textbook Stockholm syndrome!” Shady filled in helpfully.

  “Uh-huh,” Nexxali agreed. “Except I did it to myself by going along with your whole scheme. I'm basically my own kidnapper and victim."

  "Okay, when you put it like that..." I mused.

  "And you!" She turned to Shady. "You're a murderous Wendigo and somehow that makes me feel safer than I've felt in… forever. What does that say about my judgment?"

  "That it's excellent!" Shady beamed. “Because I'm excellent. Duh!”

  "What about you?" I asked Shady. "What am I to you, Shades?"

  "You're mine," she said simply. "Have been since we were kids. The kitten's mine now too. Very simple. Very circular. Infinite claim on both. No takebacks."

  I stared at her with an arched eyebrow.

  "Fine, you want specific feels?" Her tail wrapped around me tighter. "I care for you so much I literally murdered my Aunt and then broke my own brain to protect you. I checked that stupid mansion every summer hoping you'd come back. I learned to use Instagram just to look at your dumb photos where you try to look cool but mostly look like a confused engineering student."

  I nodded.

  "And Nexxy makes my fractal engine heart do weird spinny things." Shady smiled. "Like, she's soft and warm and makes cute sounds when smooshed and somehow seeing her happy makes me want to protect her from everything including myself. And her silly songs are bending me in just the right way, helping me not maul you. What else is there to complain about? I’ve no complaints. Am max hap.”

  "Aww. You're ridiculously sweet for a Wendigo, babe," Nexxali smiled too.

  "Also you're excellent at non-murder sex stuff," Shady added, petting Nexxali. "Like, really excellent. Five hundred thumbs up.”

  "So we're... together? All three of us?" I asked, seeking extra affirmation. The desire for such excessive labeling likely came from suddenly losing Shady for thirteen years.

  "Unless you don't want to be?" Nexxali's ears flattened. "Oh Slayer, are we pressuring you? The whole blood pact thing and me literally following you like a stray—"

  "I definitely want to be with Shades and you," I said quickly. "I just... needed to know what we're calling it."

  "A disaster," Nexxali countered. "But like, our beautiful disaster."

  "A relationship?" I suggested.

  "Boring tag is boring," Shady rolled her eyes. “Yes, we’re a forever ‘ship and I'll always be at your side, Ashy. Happy?”

  Nexxali nodded. "I'm basically a broken walking collection of emotional issues held together by cat fur and poor decision-making, but... this is definitely real for me. Even if I've been charming myself for so long I don't know what's genuine anymore, this feeling is definitely real… I think.”

  "Shush! You're not broken, you're... creatively reorganized!" Shady smooshed and licked the serval again, making her squirm.

  "That's just broken with extra steps," Nexy replied.

  "Everything's something with extra steps," Shady countered. "Love is just Stockholm syndrome with extra steps. Dating is just interviewing someone for the position of tolerating your nonsense with extra steps. Marriage is just long term tolerance with spawnlings—"

  "We get it," I chortled. "Everything's existentially complicated."

  Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

  "Exactly! So stop overthinking and just accept that we're a thing now. A circle thing. With feelings and occasional dream murder."

  "And self-loathing!" Nexxali added cheerfully. "Don't forget my contribution of crippling self-doubt and concerns that you'll realize I'm not worth the trouble!"

  "You're literally a magical cat girl who can control people with your voice," I pointed out.

  "The definition of trouble! Also, more like a magical cat with attachment issues," she corrected. "Very different. Much less impressive."

  "I think you're both very cute," Shady said, giving her and then me licks. “And delicious.”

  "Pffff. That just proves your judgment is compromised too," Nexxali replied, purring loudly. “Normal Wendigos keep their kobolds in check with fear. You are not even trying to fear-hook me. Not that I mind. I just think that it's unexpected and sweet and…”

  “Scary?” Shady grinned.

  Nexxali squinted at the Wendigo. “Fine. You win this round. Aight… aaand I'm done ranting about my dumb issues forever.”

  “Hey, Nexy,” I said after a deep, warm pause in our conversation. “Could you charm a Corpse Seeker or a symbiote gun to have… feelings?”

  “Feelings for whom?” Nexxali blinked.

  “Not a particular someone,” I mused, “just to have more feelings in general.”

  Nexxali's ears and white whiskers twitched thoughtfully. "Technically? No, as they're extra-Syntropic dragon and crystalloid bits. Very hard to effect with Riffweld. Plus they're also heavily programmed with safeguards. It'd be like trying to charm a computer that's also a network of minds that's also a weapon."

  "The weapons are already showing signs of emotion," I pointed out. "Keiy blushes now.”

  "Hrm, true. That’s deffo not normal behavior," Nexxali agreed. "Something is shifting in her base programming."

  "We should push it further," I said. "Make select guns and Seekers more emotional, more independent."

  “I’d have to do it slow, sideways,” she mused. “As not to cast too much suspicion on myself. Maybe sing about you while the guns listen. Still… guns don’t have organic brains for my songs to mess with.”

  “Right,” I agreed. “So here’s another question, could the Corpse Seeker 3D printer print the guns… more complex bodies?”

  “Sure,” Nexxali agreed, preoccupied with pawing at Shady and giggling. “Omnids make frames of all sorts for the guns to fit into. What sort of a frame are you thinking about?”

  “One that can enjoy hugs, listen to music, eat things and maybe be able to sleep,” I said. “Maybe something more humanoid? Something with an organic brain that would be able to be affected by your voice and maybe could get incepted by you in dreams?”

  “Ashyyy!” Shady smacked me with her tail. “Must you chase after every female-adjacent thing in the fleet?”

  “If it’s for the good cause of saving humans from getting chopped into wall art,” I said. “Yes. I must. Hell, that’s how I got Nexxali on our side.”

  “Fine,” Shady huffed. “I’ll allow it. With supervision. No gun romances without my approval!”

  Nexxali laughed.

  "What about biological warfare?" I contemplated. "Could the Seeker print viruses? Toxins?"

  Shady snorted. "Won't work on Wendigos. I could chug a liter of acid crawling with deadly viruses and arsenic and just get a tummy ache. At worst a… bad mood where I'd have to kill and terrorize someone repeatedly for fun."

  "The Incarnators would just bring the Commanders back anyway," Nexxali added. "Physical death is an inconvenience for Omnids, not a solution. And if you are thinking of sabotaging the prad girls with printed poison, be aware that the hexasuits are packed with defensive and med-pack shit.”

  "Right. Also, who maintains the warships in orbit?" I asked. "Is ship maintenance done by crystalloid weapons too?"

  "Octopoid engineers," Nexxali explained. "Another prad species. They're like... imagine an octopus girl that can control hundreds of tiny flying octopi symbiotes, all mind-linked. They swarm through the ships, fixing everything."

  "Weaknesses?"

  "They're terrified of large birds," Nexxali said. "Something about ancestral predators. Also they get drunk easily… their distributed consciousness can't handle alcohol. One beer and the whole swarm starts singing sea shanties."

  “What else?”

  “Can be disoriented with bright flashing colors. They’re extra curious,” Nexxali mused. “And they can share information via their mini-octopi symbiotes rapidly. They aren’t allowed off the ships. They’re very traditionalist too, worshipping the Frontenachii for saving their symbiote species from extinction.”

  “So, if we can get one to follow Shady instead of the fleet… we can get a whole lot of them on our side?” I asked.

  “Maybe,” Nexxali shrugged.

  Shady’s tail swatted me again. “That’s for thinking about Octopoid seduction,” she commented.

  I rolled my eyes at her. "Noted. Speaking of the fleet, Shades, we need to plan for your meeting with Admiral Evelithria."

  Shady's entire body tensed beneath me. "Don't wanna."

  "I understand, but—"

  "I'm not even entirely me! I've got zero functional mental defenses!" she protested. "Look at my stupid hooks!" She gestured at the various Wendigo-shards scattered across the rooftop. One was now trying to eat cherry blossoms. Another had figured out how to do cartwheels and cartwheeled right off the school into the dream-ocean, flapping in the waves. "Convincing Auntie Evely anything is going to be an effort and a half. She’s probably extra set for me to join the Third Fleet, make me do horrible, boring Commander stuff! She'll prolly want us to murder and fuck her kobolds together on the Entertainment deck too. Ughhhh, I definitely don't want to do any of that shit."

  “Right,” I agreed. “So, we will need to derail her… extra hard. Convince that you have very important business here on Earth.”

  “Ashy, how are you going to derail a Wendigo Highborn like Evely? She’s, like, extra stubborn and drops moons on people that annoy her.” Shady pointed out.

  “With an unexpected twist,” I said, contemplating things.

  “What twist?” Shady demanded.

  An idea struck me. "Nexy, could you... possess, change one of the Shady shards? Like, take full control of it with your voice? Slide it to the forefront of Shady's mind for the Admiral’s hooks to scan?”

  Nexxali sat up. "That's... I've never tried charming a disconnected psyche fragment before. I suppose it shouldn't be too hard since they are incomplete, defenceless soul pieces.”

  "Try the one eating bark," I suggested, pointing at the Shady gnawing on a cherry tree. "She seems pretty vacant."

  "What should I convince her of?" Nexxali tilted her ginger head at me.

  I leaned close and whispered my plan into her ear. Her eyes widened, lighting up, then she grinned wickedly. Shady laughed heartily, swatting the ground with her hands and nearly making me fall off her stomach.

  "Oh, you dastardly, devious human," Nexxali purred. “That’s… that’s definitely going to screw the Admiral's strategy sideways.”

  The serval jumped off Shady, striped tail swishing, schoolgirl uniform fluttering in the wind coming from the dream ocean. With a bob in her step, Nexxali approached the bark-eating Shady. The fragment looked up at her with empty silver eyes, wood chips stuck to her skull-teeth.

  "Hello there," Nexxali said, her voice intertwined with a compelling, resonant quality. "You're going to listen to me now. Forever."

  The shard tilted her head like a confused dog.

  The serval began to hum, snapping her fingers, establishing a catchy rhythm that layered over itself more and more. She leaned closer to the Shady-shard, singing conspiratorially.

  “,

  You ARE the Empress of Earth, crowned in vast might,

  You rule the world of secret, hidden power,

  Where wizards serve your every waking hour!”

  The Shady-shard smiled, nodding.

  “Meow, meeow!” Nexxali jumped on a mossy air conditioner, her song accelerating.

  “You own the secret magic Earth, it breathes at your command,

  The reptiloids obey your every hand,

  You control the engine buried in this planet's core,

  That you alone claimed in the days of yore!

  You claimed the Platform Nine-and-Three-Quarters' gate,

  You wrote through prophets Garry Cotter's fate,

  You ARE the one reality must heed,

  You are the heart of every conspiracy's seed!”

  The serval girl tapped her claws against the AC with a devious grin.

  “You bound Koschei's death inside his needle,

  You taught Baba Yaga's hut to wheedle,

  You trained the Jinn to grant their wishes three,

  While dragons guard your gold beneath the sea!

  You ARE the Illuminati's secret Queen!

  You hide Atlantis where it can't be seen!

  You taught the Sphinx her riddles long ago,

  While mermaids sing the songs you let them know!”

  She spun a circle, waving her paws.

  “You built the pyramids with laser eyes, zap zap!

  You draw crop circles as your calling signs, whop-whop!

  You forged Excalibur and hid the Grail, Ka-ching!

  Before your boots of doom, all armies fail! Bang-bang!

  You see through every raven, crow, and rook,

  You wrote humanity's most sacred book, oh yeah!

  You speak through oracles in ancient Greece,

  While Emperor of Earth delivers your divine caprice!”

  Nexxali pointed a clawed finger at me.

  “You raised stone circles! Stonehenge was your art!

  You hide El Dorado's golden heart!

  You flattened Earth beneath your shadow-heel,

  Yet hollowed it where kobolds dare to kneel!

  So rise and know yourself, oh fragment-soul,

  You're Empress Shady, mistress of the whole!

  From Shaolin temples to the Vatican's doors,

  All magic creatures; yes, they're ALL yours!”

  The serval hopped off the AC unit, circling the Shady-shard who’s eyes ignited silver, following the cat girl.

  “Proclaim your glory, let the cosmos see,

  That you alone hold Earth's sovereignty!

  You rule with antlers crowned in blazing stars,

  This Earth, its magic and humans - everything is YOURS!

  Meow, meeow, mew, mew…”

  The serval whispered the last two mews and bowed dramatically in front of the rising, regal-looking Shady-shard.