“I’m still not convinced this is a good idea.” I mumble as we leave the Minor Arcana meeting where we handed off the woman for judgment.

  “I mean, it’s all we can do.” Avis says as he walks beside me, gently bumping against me with every step he takes.

  “You remember when you were mean to me? Oh the good ole days.”

  “Listen here mage, I can still be mean if you want me to. I can call you chicken legs or something.” Avis chuckles as I stop abruptly. I look down at my legs.

  “Are they really that small?” I wonder. “I know I skipped leg day some days, but still. They aren’t that small!”

  “Ready to snap under your weight.” Avis grabs my arm and pulls me along as he laughs at me. I just sulk next to him thinking about my tiny legs.

  “Where do you think Trevor and Nabu are at?” I ask, changing the subject. It has been nagging at me for a while.

  “I wish I knew.” Avis stops walking. “I thought maybe it was cause I asked him to stop Dee from killing Trevor, but it’s not. It’s something else, just no clue what.”

  “I keep thinking Trevor’s gonna pop out at us and finish what he started.”

  “He won’t. He’s gone.” Avis puts his arm around me and gives me an awkward side hug. “I know it’s not easy, but try not to linger on it.”

  “Says the guy who keeps dreaming of being stabbed.” I slowly walk away smugly. I felt like I needed a comeback after the chicken legs comment.

  “Hey, I do not have nightmares.” Avis yells after me. “They are simply just not fun dreams. Not fun ya hear!” Avis jogs after me, but I keep walking.

  * * * * *

  Madison pushes her bracelet around the table as Dardania thumbs through the Pilgrimage of Lucias. Prisha is nowhere to be found.

  “Hi.” I say as I walk into the eerily quiet room. Both of them slowly raise their head but only for a second before they immediately go back to what they are doing. I look to Avis who just shrugs.

  “Where’s Prisha?” I inquire.

  “Went to see Tate off before they head into the city for some work.” Dardania closes the book and slides it away from her.

  “Work?”

  “Healing work.”

  “Ah.” I take a seat at the table and slowly starting bumping my head against the table.

  “Um, what is happening here?” Dardania asks as she stares at me. She slowly turns to her brother, he shrugs.

  “I’m useless.” I moan.

  “Oh.” Avis sits down next to me, Dardania looks to him again, he shrugs.

  “So very useless.” I moan again, this time more dramatically.

  “Okay, I’ll bite. Why are you useless?” Avis asks after sighing.

  “All I can do is punch stuff. Maybe weigh someone down. I was useless against Trevor.”

  “You weren’t useless.” Dardania assures me. Avis pats my back, though it feels more patronizing than comforting. I raise my head and glare at him.

  “What?” He asks as he pulls away.

  “I’m just seeking comfort here, not a sarcastic pat on the back.”

  “C’mon. You’re not useless, and it’s not the first time you thought it. It’s just…” Avis sighs, “I’m sorry. What’s wrong?”

  “Dardania basically did the heavy lifting, and you were in perfect sync with her. I… just punched him a couple times.”

  “We have spent a ton of time together, of course we will be more in sync.” Dardania adds, her voice reassuring. “It couldn’t have been done without you.”

  “She’s right, none of us could have done it alone.” Avis adds. I sigh.

  I want to believe them, but I just don’t feel it. Yes, I helped during the whole fight but seeing everyone in action just reminded me how far behind everyone I am. I thought discovering gravity magic would be what makes me helpful, but in a pinch I didn’t know how to use it.

  “I just don’t know how to be more useful.” I cry, tears welling up. “Watching you almost die right before me made me feel useless. I thought finding a book about gravity magic would solve that problem but in a fight I kept getting too close to losing everyone again and I couldn’t stop it. No matter how hard I fought, I couldn’t do anything. The two of you saved everyone.”

  I feel like I’m constantly in the way. The first time I couldn’t save Avis, and this time, they all saved me. I don’t want to feel like the dead weight of the group.

  “You aren’t useless, I promise.” Avis turns me to face him. “If you feel that you could have done more, than just work on doing more. Work on being better.”

  “I don’t know how.” I moan.

  “Just by doing it.” Dardania says with a chuckle. “You just have to do it.”

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  “That advice doesn’t feel helpful.”

  “Not so much, but it’s true. You don’t have to stick to one kind of magic, if you can’t foresee a way to use gravity magic in combat, find something you can use.”

  “Ugh I have to learn more magic? That’s so hard.” I begin beating my head against the table again.

  “Oh my god, would you just stop with the self pity, like suck it up dude.” Madison grabs her bracelet off the table and storms out of the room. I stare at the doorway where she left, genuinely confused.

  “What was that about?” I ask out loud.

  “She’s been off for a while, but after what happened with Prisha… well she’s not been the same.” Dardania stares at the empty chair where Madison was sitting.

  “You seem fine.” Avis turns the discussion towards Dardania.

  “I am… trying to be fine.” Dardania exhales. “I am angry and kind of want to punch someone, specifically Trevor. Alas that won’t do me or anyone else any good, so I’m working on getting over it. Madison… not so much.”

  “Should we go after her?”

  “I think she just needs some time.”

  “This is why I’m such a whiney baby.” I half joke, but also am entirely serious. Both of them just stare at me, confused. “Well, I just let it out instead of holding it in. I just cry about it and boom, better.”“The nightmares would disagree with you.” Avis looks at me, his expression is serious.

  “Well… I have no response for that.” I stare at him, I genuinely didn’t have anything to say.

  I was dealing with this just as well as everyone else was, meaning that I wasn’t. Every time there was a loud noise, I jumped. I keep expecting to see Trevor around the corner. He was one man but it was enough to absolutely terrify me and instill a very deep fear in me. And for what reason? I still don’t have that answer. I can at least say that my friend didn’t almost kill me. I imagine that is haunting Madison in a very big way.

  “All we can do is just give her some time.” Dardania adds before we all fall silent and get lost in our own thoughts.

  * * * * *

  “This city really is magnificent.” I whisper to myself as I stroll through the city square right outside the church at the center of Sirius.

  I needed some fresh air and time to think, and what better use of my time than to wander around the city that wants to murder me. Oh what fun!

  I hate to admit it, but this city is still very much amazing. It has changed a ton since it was Tabathia, but it is still better than any other place I’ve ever been to. Which is saying something because I loved going down to New York to see shows on Broadway. I wonder if musicals exist in this world, not that it matters.

  Between dodging the Touched and a serial killer it’s not like I have a ton of time to take in a show.

  Something I’m only just now noticing, a lot of people here are dressed quite extravagantly. It mirrors the attire that you would see on high fashion runways but actually on a person outside of the runway. Designs that didn’t always make logical sense. In stark contrast to that, you had people walking right next to them practically in a potato sack. It was kind of gross to look at.

  “Can you donate to the Order?” A small man in a solid black outfit asks as he holds out a basket towards me. I turn to look at the massive church that sits in the center of the city. The building that stands taller than every building the city. The one that is made out of material that is no longer used in this era.

  “What’s the building over there?” I point to the giant freaking church in front of us.

  “That’s the holy seat of the Order that is.” The man beams at me.

  “Anyone who owns that doesn’t need my money.” I brush past the man and keep walking. Here I was just trying to enjoy a walk through a city run by fascists and I get accosted by a member of the Order hitting me up for money. What kind of world is this?

  “You should probably keep a low profile.” A man whispers to me, his voice familiar. I spin around to see Godrick standing next to me with a slight smile on his face. I look him up and down, confused and also terrified.

  “Oh, you wondering about this?” He motions towards his face. “It is best if I move around incognito when I’m not on Order business.”

  “So that’s the face you choose? Your original one?”

  “It would appear that you have learned of my origins.” The Saint puts his arm around my shoulder and guides me to continue walking through the city and away from the member of the Order. “I am genuinely curious as to how you found that one out.”

  “What do you do with the body?” I ask motioning towards him. “The one that was in that body before you took it over?”

  “I do suppose it won’t hurt to tell you, it’s not like you have the aptitude to undo it.” The Saint takes a deep breath before beginning his explanation. “I was abundantly inspired by my fellow members of the Arcana. The diverse power set was truly a sight to behold. This specific accouterment was courtesy of The Hermit. I absorb the skill set, powers, and memories of the host but the personality itself just… is no more.”

  “So you kill them?”

  “Such a barbaric way to view it. I prefer to believe it’s simply the natural order of things. I have the dominant personality and thus it naturally conquers the obeisant personality.” The Saint continues to guide me through the square, his grip on my arm is quite tight with no signs of lessening. I have the overwhelming desire to scream, but I know it’s no use. He just admitted that he also absorbs the power of the host meaning there is no telling what kind of power this man has.

  “Okay, sure. Why are you here? What do you want me with? Is it simply just to torture me or just to show that you’re watching us?” I take a deep breath. I was trying to not ramble, but my mind is racing. We just dealt with Trevor and I figured I would get a chance to breath, but clearly not. Now one of the most powerful people in the world is looming over me with his arm literally wrapped around me.

  “It would be a lie to say we didn’t have you under constant observation.”

  “Then why not make a move? Send the Touched after us?” I spat back.

  “You are under the incorrect assumption that I am referencing the Order. It is not them who are aware of your location. The Blessed and The Touched are completely ignorant of your whereabouts, the same can be said of the siblings.”

  “We all are wanted, if you know where we are why not tell the Touched? Maybe stop being so cryptic and just out with it.” This man was really starting to grate at my nerves. Every word he utters was just as confusing as the one before it. It feels like he was just streaming fancy sounding words together without giving me any actual information. Not that I could do anything about that.

  “Why would I do such a thing? If I were to divulge my entire plan to you, you would actively start to work to undo it. Your world may contain stories about villains willing to lay out their entire plan to their enemies for dramatic purposes, but that will not happen here. Unlike the fiction you are used to where good and evil fall into diametrically opposed factions, the real world isn’t so neatly arranged. You won’t find the power at the last minute to beat the bad guy and go home to your friends and family to celebrate. You will struggle relentlessly the entire time knowing that there is a high probability that you will fail and that all the effort was for naught. So while my intention here today does have the added benefit of showing you that I am aware of your movements, I am actually here to relay information that you will find fruitful.”

  “What is that?” I ask softly as I gulp, a lump stuck in my throat.

  “Tate has been captured by the Order and currently sits in a cell beneath the church awaiting their time to be cleansed.”

  “Why are you telling me this?”

  “Does a puppeteer relay to the marionette why it chooses to move it? You need not know why I am telling you this, just that I am. Now go ride off into the sunset pretending to be the hero. Though, never forget where you came by this information. Once you have completed this task, look North East to the Zodiac.” The Saint lets go of me just in time for a person to bump into me. I whip around and he’s gone.

  What was that? I can’t even begin to understand him, and what did he mean it’s not the Order watching us? If not them, then who?

  “Ugh what the fuck!?” I scream out, my voice echoing through the city square. Everyone stops to look at me, but I don’t care. It’s how I feel, and I swear I will punch that man in his stupid face one day.