***

  I'm dreaming with Gestalt and as a collective of their word. This is a much more pleasant dream than the others.

  My best friend James and I bombed around his house after school. Okay, during school… we may have skipped the last few classes.

  Some of my best memories are in James' room. We are both gay nerds, so we relate on both our love of videogames and the fact that nobody was ever going to fuck us.

  Currently, we have defaulted back down to doing horrible things to sims with mods. Sims 4 tends to be what we end up playing when there is nothing better to play.

  I also have a thousand hours in Path of Exile. Don't judge me because the Sims is good.

  [You miss him.]

  'Yeah of course.'

  [You miss videogames more.]

  'James is going to be okay. He was already getting his shit together before I left.'

  [You were afraid he was going to leave you behind?]

  'I thought this was going to be a happy fun time dream. Not another therapy session.'

  '...'

  'Yes and no. I don't think James would have ever left me behind. He was too caring for that. I was more worried that I would hold him back.'

  [Genes express themselves in an environment.]

  'What?'

  [A person is, who a person is. But how a person expresses themselves changes, based on the environment around them.]

  'I feel like you are missing out some context here.'

  [The Tangerine of Earth is different to the Tangerine of the City of Doors. The Tangerine that we know would not hold James back. We think that James would be happy to see how this environment has changed you.]

  '...'

  'Thanks buddies.'

  [Dream is over.]

  ***

  Woke up and did the usual morning routine - breakfast with the family before everyone went off to do their things.

  I know Emily spends a lot of time with her governess, who doubles up as a private tutor. I think Derek might actually run a weapons manufacturing company. I still don't know what Maria does, other than work for the Academy. I have a feeling she's a bit of a big shot though, what with how everyone treats her.

  Honestly, I was set up for a pretty boring day today. I had managed to get the time it took to pull a penny into my domain to under five minutes, which I was pretty happy with.

  Derek also brought home some empty bullets so I could practice reloading my gun in the home, without risk of blowing my head off. Or some poor maid’s.

  I only really had three things to do; practice taking things in and out of my domain, reloading and cycling mana.

  I spend most of the morning rotating between the three. I'm not studying hard or anything. Honestly, I’m only so focused because I’m bored out of my mind. They don't even have radio here. Can I invent that for them? Honestly nah. I have no idea what a radio wave is.

  So I start combining practices. I pull the dummy bullets into my domain and then pull them out to my finger tips to reload straight into the chamber. If I get the angle just right, reloading this way is significantly faster than trying to hold all the bullets in my hand or picking them up from the table.

  A maid enters the drawing room where I am practicing. “Miss Tangerine. Miss Daisy is here to see you. Would you like to invite her in?”

  “Oh God! Yes please! I'm so bored!”

  The maid barely suppresses a giggle. “Right away Miss. I will prepare tea for the two of you.”

  “Thank you… Olivia, right?”

  “Yes miss.”

  Not gonna lie, having servants around is really fucking weird. I’m never sure how to interact with them. Really I just kinda feel like I should be in their place you know? I am part of the working class, not whatever bullshit I’ve got going on now.

  Well okay my mum was a middle class hippie. But we were poor middle class okay.

  Daisy swept into the room like a six foot golden goddess. She gave the maid a nod of acknowledgement, so points to her in my book. For not being completely shit to the servant class.

  “Hello Miss Daisy.” I said. “I'm very glad you came to visit, you saved me from a day of boredom.”

  A range of emotions flicker across Daisy's face. Confusion, waryness but settled on reservation. “It is my pleasure.”

  I offer up a seat on the sofa near the fireplace. The fire isn't burning because it's the middle of the day, but it feels more appropriate than sitting at the table right? I really don't know what the rules are.

  My gesture seemed acceptable as Daisy sat where I pointed. She didn't slouch, her back remained ramrod straight, perched near the edge of the sofa. My corset doesn't allow me to slump, but Daisy's poise is on another level.

  The maid comes in with a tea set, and pours us both a cup. I don't really know what to say, or how to act, or what to do. Fuck she's so hot.

  “So how can I help you Miss Daisy?” I ask.

  “Just here to visit a future classmate.”

  Bullshit.

  [We agree.]

  ‘I thought you couldn't talk about other hosts?’

  The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

  [Miss Daisy is not a host yet.]

  ‘Wait, how can she understand me?’

  [You are not speaking English. We are translating in real time and speaking for you. We are also editing your perception. So that you hear yourself speak English so you understand what you are saying.]

  ‘That is as impressive as it is creepy.’

  [Thank you, but we believe Miss Daisy is trying to gain your attention.]

  “Hello? Are you okay?” Daisy said as I came back to reality.

  “Ah yeah sorry.”

  “You just spaced out there for almost a minute?”

  “Yeah sorry I was talking to Gestalt.”

  “Who is Gestalt? And you were not talking to anybody. You were staring into space with your mouth open. I believe you drooled a little.”

  Well, now my cheeks are pink. Fuck. I quickly wipe my drool away with my sleeve, which Daisy slightly winces at. Double fuck. “Gestalt is a brain slug.”

  “Excuse me?”

  ‘Wait, fuck. Are you meant to be a secret Gestalt?’

  [No.]

  ‘Oh thank God. I was worried I committed treason by blabbing state secrets or something.’

  “Excuse me? Hello? You have zoned out again.” Daisy said, as she tried to regain my attention.

  “Ah, sorry sorry. Yeah Gestalt. Brain slug. Lives in my head.” I said pointing to the back of my neck. “I think they are a big hive mind somewhere, they help me talk to you. I’m hearing everything you say in English. And they change what I say into your language.”

  “That is fascinating.” Daisy said with a clear look of disgust on her face. “Is that something that is common in your realm?”

  “Ah, no, when Maria and Gideon found me we couldn't understand each other. So Gideon pressed this wriggly little tentacled slug thing to my eyeball and it climbed in under my eyelids.” I said while lifting my eyelid as an example. Wait, why am I doing this? That's not cool at all! Put your eyelids down!

  Daisy looks like she is going to vomit. “That is… oh. Is this part of the Academy? Will I have to have a brainslug too?”

  [Yes.]

  “Gestalt says yes.” She does a great job hiding her panic, I barely see it. I guess she's not a bug girl. I don't mind them so much. Except for spiders. Fuck spiders.

  “Don't worry, Gestalt is really cool. They have all these rules and stuff that they have to follow and they have been hanging out with me in my dreams. It's actually been pretty great.” I blabber, trying to get her to calm down.

  “Does it hurt?”

  [Yes.]

  “No, not at all. I barely felt a thing. A little tickle maybe.”

  [Liar. You passed out from the pain.]

  “You have nothing to worry about. They take a little getting used to. But now I’m really glad they are with me.” I say while pointedly ignoring Gestalt.

  [...]

  [Truth. We also appreciate you.]

  I change the subject away from terrifying brain slugs. “So tell me about Rupert?” I ask.

  That worked; her attitude immediately changed from disgust to guarded. “Why do you want to know?”

  “I don't. But I believe he is the reason you came to see me.”

  She sighed a little. “One of the reasons, yes. I also truly wanted to better know my future classmate.”

  She raises her cup to her perfect full mouth and takes a small sip of tea. Every action she makes is refined and elegant. She practically radiates poise. I gnaw on a biscuit to stop myself chewing my fingernails off.

  Daisy continues. “I believe we have already come to an unspoken understanding, but maybe it is best to truly make sure we are on the same page.”

  She raises a hand and leans forward. Her finger tips trace against my cheek, dangerously close to my lips. Brushing away a biscuit crumb. Her fingers linger. “Don't you think that's wise?” She asked.

  Fuck. I am a puddle. I feel like her fingers are made of fire and I am being pierced by her amber eyes. Shit, fuck, did she ask me a question?

  “Wah?”

  Really fucking smooth Tangerine. Well done.

  “I believe it is fair to say that you have no interest in Master Rupert, am I right?”

  Her fingers haven't moved. Fuck I think I might die here and now. If I do, everything would have been worth it. Just for this moment.

  “No, I mean yes? I’m not interested in gu… Rupert.”

  Her fingers pull away and I unconsciously bring my face forward trying to keep contact.

  Way to look desperate Tangerine. Could I be any more of a simp?

  [No.]

  ‘Nobody asked you. But while you are here, how do I get her to touch my face again?’

  [Contact between flesh is distasteful.]

  ‘Why do I even keep you in my head? You are no use at all!’

  “Well I’m glad we have no competing interests concerning men.” Daisy said with a smirk. “Especially Rupert.”

  “Nope, none, zero, nada.” I said because I’m just so cool. “I assumed you two were betrothed or something anyway, is that how it works here?”

  Daisy looked a little grumpy at this. “That is how it works but we are not betrothed. Yet. Rupert's mother is being difficult. She believes she can do better for her second son.”

  “Do you and Rupert even want to be married?”

  “Are you a commoner where you are from? Once wealth is involved, wants matter little.”

  “I mean, yeah I kinda am? Lower middle class maybe? But we don't really have the whole marriage for status thing where I’m from. Well at least not in my country, it does happen in other parts of the world, and I guess it used to happen a hundred years ago or so. But in my time, where I live, people just marry whoever they want. For love!”

  “That sounds very stupid. Why would you give up such a strong method of forming alliances?”

  I am a little dumb founded. Not quite the reaction I was expecting. I was kinda expecting something like ‘ohhh that sounds so much better, a place where I can be free to love who I want to love. Speaking of love, do you want to play tongue hockey with me, Tangerine?’

  Not whatever this ice cold shit is.

  I guess I looked a little dumbfounded. Because Daisy gracefully shuffled closer to me. No, I did not misspeak. Bitch made shuffling look like a work of art. She gently placed her hand on my leg, and not a safe part of my leg. Pure thigh.

  “Arranged marriages are no bad thing. Duty is taken care of, while we are free to play elsewhere. Everyone is understanding.”

  Oh God, I thought Erica Swells was a bad bitch. But this girl is a monster. I'm a deer in headlights. I am lost at sea.

  I am prey.

  The door to the drawing room is opened and Daisy’s hand is immediately reaching for her tea cup. It looked natural, like she was never touching me.

  The only proof is the memory seared into my mind.

  Maria swept into the room. “Ah Miss Daisy. It is most wonderful to see you. Will you be joining us for dinner?” she asked.

  “Thank you for the offer, but I’m afraid I must return to my family.” She stood up. “Thank you Tangerine for a wonderful afternoon. The tea was delicious, and I am very much looking forward to the Academy now that I know you will be there.” This girl was smooth and poised and perfect. Perfect teeth shine from a perfect smile.

  I am gormless, a sweaty mess. But I manage to squeak out a "Thank you for coming. I had fun. With you. I mean.”

  So smooth. Kill me now.

  [No.]

  Maria and I walked Daisy to the door and said our goodbyes. Once Daisy was gone, Maria turned to me. “Be careful, Tangerine. She's not a bad girl. But she comes from a different world than you, the rules they play by are sharp.”

  I just nod to her. I know she's right. I know Daisy is dangerous.

  …

  But what if I want to get hurt.

  ***