It was around midnight that night when Vivi and Athella showed up to the throne room. Athella was carrying a large metal hammer, much different from the blunted training sword she normally had. I guess tonight would determine my fate one way or another. Let’s hope that my 5 charisma meant more than I thought it did. Vivi strode right up to me, squatted down, and stared intently. I hadn’t noticed, but she had a sort of monocle on one eye that had a slight blue glow. After a few moments, she began to speak in the demanding, imperious voice that only nobility ever truly mastered.
“Okay, trashcan, you have my attention. Tell me—who are you, why are you here, and what did you mean? ‘Save my kingdom’? Aeternia is the most powerful country west of the Black Desert. Who would be strong enough to threaten us, and how could you possibly save us from anything strong enough to be a threat? You were beaten by a door last I saw.” She seemed skeptical, but also willing to hear me out, which was good. I focused my mana on a message on a paper the same way I had before and shot it out of my top. Athella, who was looming over the princess menacingly, snatched it out of the air and read it aloud.
“’I know you won’t believe this, but I come from another world. In my world, the fate of your country is known to select scholars of esoteric knowledge, like a cautionary tale. I was sent here after my death in this form, and I believe the reason why is to help you avoid this fate.’” She crumpled the paper and tossed it back inside me. The princess thought for a second, her form squatted down so that she was at ‘eye’ level with me. Sure, I had embellished the truth a bit, but it was mostly the truth. Okay, so I didn’t really want to save them from Duke Berith, but if it helped me stay alive for now, it was probably fine that she thought that I did.
“Okay, let’s say I believe that. How are you possibly going to save us? Again, beaten by a door? And let’s say I don’t believe you. Athella here wants to turn you into a paperweight then throw you into a volcano. She thinks you are a spy sent here from some jealous nation, or maybe a demon. She thinks we should report this to my mother and father if we don’t get rid of you ourselves and send for artificers to examine you in what will probably prove to be fatal. What do you say to that?” I considered for a moment, then wrote my response, and once again Athella caught and read it.
“’I know that it is hard to trust a magic item claiming to be a savior. That’s like how all stories of someone being tricked and put in a magic sleep or forced to switch bodies or something begin. I can’t prove anything. I don’t even remember my name. I also know that it seems unlikely that I can do anything to help a nation as powerful as Aeternia. But think, a few days ago I couldn’t even leave my spot here by the throne room, and now I can walk around. If you give me time to grow, I can show you something amazing. Also, do not give me to the king and queen, because they will 100% give me to Stelheim, and I don’t want anything to do with that guy; he is straight NASTY. Seriously, if you want to live, be more cautious of Stelheim than anyone else you have ever met in your entire life.’” They traded a look as Athella finished reading. Vivi addressed me again after considering.
“Stelheim seems like a slimy, wormy f****face weasel who would sell his mother’s c**** for a piece of silver in a heartbeat, but anyone with eyes can see that. Do you have eyes? F***, this is strange. But the fact that you warn me about him seems, oh, I don’t know... honest. You know what, trashcan? For some reason, I believe you. Don’t ask me why, but I really do think you come meaning no harm. My brother Edvald calls me a sensitive p****, but something about this feels true. So, Athella and I will keep your secret, for now. But if you ever betray us, know this—I will personally feed you to the metal biters of the Howling Mountains piece by piece. Understood?” I did understand. She was willing to trust me, partially because of instinct, but mostly because she knew she held all the cards. Which was great logic.
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She patted my lid, then wiped her hand off on her pants, which I did resent a little bit. I was clean! I had only had dry trash today, and the servants wiped me down every morning! But still, I was grateful. I had an ally! A well-connected one at that. But I realized that just the princess knowing I was alive was not enough. An unused ally was, well, useless. I gathered my courage to ask for a favor.
As I composed the note, I reflected on my previous life. I had always wanted to ask as little of people as possible, not wanting to be an imposition. I wondered if that had been a mistake, or part of the reason I was forever lonely. I read a quote once that giving someone the opportunity to be in their debt is a road to understanding because it opened the door to the same action on their end one day. Once two people could rely on each other, there was a real bond. I didn’t know how things would end up, but it couldn’t hurt to have the princess think of me as someone she could ask a favor of. My message popped up and Athella caught and read it.
“’Princess, if I may, the way that I grow stronger and gain more ability to help is by ‘eating’ things. I have been living off of mostly trash, but that dead mage's head gave me a lot of strength. If there are any broken magical objects that no one would miss, I would greatly appreciate a little, you know, sampler platter. Oh, and also one singular wheel. If possible. Oh, and if you have another one of those monocles, that would be nice too. And a different, smaller trashcan—the kind like me that automatically destroy garbage inside them and don’t have to be emptied—I have a theory to test. Please. And thank you. If it’s not too much.’” Vivi cocked an eye and smiled widely. She was really quite pretty, with her wild blonde hair and toned figure beneath her leather training outfit.
“Aye, trashcan, did you want me to rub your c*** and tickle your b**** as well? Fine, but only this once. After this, you are on your own.” She and Athella left and returned in short order, holding a small bag of magical odds and ends: a self-stirring spoon, half a pair of messaging earrings, one enchanted boot of speed, and a broken flavor-enhancing fork that made everything taste like beef stew, plus my requested wheel, trashcan, and the monocle. She threw them inside and I activated Devour.
DEVOUR ACTIVATED. PROCESSED ITEMS WORTH 1,753 EXPERIENCE. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE LEVELED TO 12. YOU ARE NOW AN UNADORNED TRASHCAN WITH MODERATE ENCHANTMENT. NEW STATS AVAILABLE ON REQUEST. NEW ABILITIES GAINED FROM PROPERTIES OF ITEMS DEVOURED: APPRAISAL 3 (FROM MONOCLE OF TRUE SIGHT) IMBUE PSYCHIC RECEIVER (FROM EARRING OF MESSAGING)
Just like that, I had leveled again! Plus, I now had some new abilities to play with and new items I could recycle. If I could keep this up for a year or so, I’d be able to sneak outta here and survive on my own with no problems!
Of course, my plans immediately imploded the next day.
