Sighing heavily, Emlyn nods, “Someone should know the whole story. It should be part of the Great Awdls, but we have no bards. I suppose dwarven artificers will do.”
“That still leaves us with Fey, construct, or undead,” Loket chimes in, “We should shelve the idea of Fey and let the artificers do their research on it. Nothing we’ve turned up here has been helpful. A construct or an undead is something we can plan to deal with.”
Emlyn nods, “Dealing with the construct or the undead thing itself won’t be easy, but it is doable. There’s only one way to win a fight against a construct. You have to batter it apart to bring it down. With enough clerics to keep us in the fight, we can handle that. The siege bows will help with that. We can turn the undead, so that concerns me less. Finding and dealing with whatever’s controlling such things will be the harder part. If we don’t find out who or what is controlling it, they’ll only make another. The mages might be able to help us with that. If it is such a thing, it seems likely it would return to its creator, so a tracking spell might be sufficient to find its lair. I wonder if we could get it to eat something with a tracker on it.”
“We find it’s lair, then what? You’re the tactician,” Benger shrugs.
“We try to figure out what’s in the lair. If something is controlling it, I’d bet it’s either an infernal or a necromancer. We know how to hunt infernals and necromancers. Just please, Goddess, not another lich-priest… I really hate those since they’re almost impossible to turn,” Emlyn grumbles, “They have a ton of magic, but not much in the way of physical defense. If you can get close enough to them and if you can stay there long enough, you can bring them down with weapons. The problem is that those two can be some pretty big ifs.”
Henga elbows Emlyn, “You’re pretty good with a bow. It shouldn’t be too hard for you to get in range and take pot shots.”
Emlyn smirks, “I am good with a bow, but it’s a constant scramble to fire and move so they don’t get you with a spell.”
“Lich-priest?” Usurg asks, “What in the blazes is that?”
“I’ve got this one,” Benger grins, “Lich-priests happen when a priest becomes a lich. Since they’ve got god-magic from their patron deity, usually some dark god like Tanis or Elphame, we can’t use our Goddess’s magic to turn them like we would any other undead. If we were to work together and all cast turn undead at the same moment, we might be able to do it, but it has to be timed extremely precisely, which isn’t easy to do in combat conditions. That’s why it’s nearly impossible to turn one. Once you manage to bash them to bits, you have to find the phylactery and destroy it so they don’t reconstitute themselves.”
“You left out the part about having to move quickly since most of the spells that will protect you from a lich have time limits,” Emlyn frowns, “That’s another part of what makes lich-priests such a pain in the ass to deal with. Any other lich is turn undead, bless, heal, rinse, and repeat until they disintegrate. Healing and blessing the lich stops them from using some of their powers. It also helps if someone can sanctify the area.”
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“Is there anything that you haven’t fought?” Oso asks warily.
“Of course. There are plenty of creatures I haven’t fought. My preference is to use them to win battles, though, by making other people fight them. Ants, goblins, basilisks, megapedes, baboons, clicker beetles, hyenas, and even p’tah.”
“That’s a bit ruthless,” Loket says with a shake of his head, “Using p’tah and clicker beetles.”
“When I’m protecting people I care about,” Emlyn shrugs, “I’d shove anyone who’s a threat to them right into one of their dens with my own hands.”
“And the basilisks,” Atres asks softly.
Emlyn grimaces, “Fair enough. Protecting the people I care about or avenging my little sisters.”
“Well, that got grim all of a sudden,” Gramin sighs, “but we’re off topic here.”
Emlyn waves Gramin off, “I’ve got plenty of stuff on standby for hunting infernals, mages, and necromancers. We can have that there in a moment’s notice. It’s already packed up and ready to go, and there’s enough for us and the King’s Guard.”
Kluper looks around and tugs at Emlyn’s sleeve, “What’s a megapede?”
Emlyn thinks for a moment, “Do you know what a millipede is?” Kluper nods, so Emlyn continues, “A megapede is like a millipede but as long as a dozen wagons and half as tall as this inn.”
Kluper’s eyes get big. “And you fought that?”
“Oh, no, I’m smarter than that,” Emlyn shakes her head, “I made some nasty people fight it.”
“Oh,” Kluper says, “That’s what you meant. Did they win?”
Emlyn shakes her head again, “There were a few of them that survived it, but they still didn’t win.”
Emlyn ruffles his hair, “Why don’t you go get your sword and shield? We can work on that practice pattern. It’s one that Atres and Benger are learning, too. You can fetch my blunt swords while you’re upstairs.”
Kluper scampers off, and Atres sighs, but Emlyn gives him a look.
“When your kit is done, you’ll have to get into a ring with those four,” Emlyn reminds Atres, “You’ll be wishing for that practice pattern then and a few more besides.”
“Boyo,” Gramin grins, “You have a few more days’ grace before your future fathers-in-law start training you. Use them wisely. Otrin’s a fair hand with that spear. I’m good with an axe. So is Gendini, but Loket’s something else entirely with that axe of his. Vorlig’s an absolute terror with that hammer. Henga takes after her Da, and Dergit has been learning from Loket and Henga.”
“His job seems to involve a lot of close-quarters fighting in places like stairwells,” Emlyn explains, “The practice pattern I’ve been teaching them works well in close-quarters.”
“I know the one,” Loket grins, “We’ll see how well he knows it.”
While they’re sitting around chatting, Argonath comes in and sits down at the table. Kethas drops off a pint.
Emlyn spots him and frowns, “What are you doing here?”
Laughing, Argonath replies, “I’ve just finished explaining to Dranor and Prince Armeniel how you managed to stop another mass exodus of the dragon-blooded from the King’s Guard. You’re getting a commendation from King Kashin and a nice little bonus, once I’m done filling out all the forms. That was a nice bit of work. Not to mention your slightly rabid defense of the dragon blooded, for which I have to add my personal appreciation.”
“Thank you, and you’re welcome,” Emlyn shrugs, “I refuse to allow my ability to complete my task to be undermined by a bunch of turnip counters at a gate post. I’m also not about to leave my future in-laws stuck in a guard post like that either, since they didn’t do anything to deserve it. Abato tried to give me some grief about compromising the city’s security by sending two of the gate guards to fetch you and Abato. That gate was probably the safest it’s ever been with all of us there.”
“How did you get them to obey you?” Argonath asks.
Emlyn rolls her eyes, “By acting like I ought to be obeyed. With grunts like that, that’s all it takes. They’re so conditioned to following orders, if you bark just right, they’ll do it.”
Argonath chuckles, “Did you really just roll your eyes at me?”
“You’re the third person to ask me that,” Emlyn shrugs, “I would have thought it was obvious. I told you I was a general. I barked orders, they saluted and obeyed. It was straightforward. You don’t get to be a general without being able to walk into a situation and command both respect and obedience.”
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The Bestiary of Nightmares: Emlyn drops some knowledge on Lich-priests (priests who become liches and keep their god-magic). Apparently, you can't just turn them; you have to "bash them to bits" and find their phylactery.
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Tactical Ruthlessness: We learn Emlyn’s favorite way to win is making monsters fight each other. She once tricked "nasty people" into fighting a megapede (a millipede the size of a building).
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The "Turnip Counters": Argonath arrives with good news. King Kashin is giving Emlyn a commendation and a bonus for saving the relationship between the Dragon-Blooded and the Crown.
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The "General" Effect: Argonath is the third person to ask how she got the guards to obey. Her answer? "I barked orders, they saluted and obeyed." It’s a gift, really.
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Training is Coming: The "Tall Obstacle" has a few days of peace left before his "future fathers-in-law" (the dwarven fathers) start putting him through the ringer.
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The Tall Obstacle Rating: 4/5 Tankards.
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Review: He’s taking the news that his future wife is a stone-cold tactical genius rather well. He’s also about to enter a world of pain once Loket and the boys start his training. Good luck, lad. You’re going to need more than dragon blood to survive a sparring session with a dwarf "Safety Papa."
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Oso and Usurg: They are officially terrified. "Is there anything you haven't fought?" is the question on everyone's mind. They’re realizing that their cousin didn't just find a wife; he found a one-woman army.
I’m starting to think my ballad about her needs fewer "flowers" and more "explosions."
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