Death had no clue what he was looking for. “I have no idea what I am looking for,” he blurted, putting his horses in a free-to-use stable and tying his cart to a pole. “Bloody snow everywhere.”

  “Huh, did you say my name?” Snow squeaked.

  “No.”

  “I think youuu didddd,” Vera teased. “Look at this shithole of a city, those towers are so fuckin’ frosty I’d be worried they’d snap and crush us.”

  “Is there anything special about this city?” Death asked. “Looks like Sekoi, but bigger, I was expecting something grand, golden, maybe a palace of diamond.”

  “The standards have fell since your time, mister god! Only thing you’ll find here is plenty of whores and women looking to fuck men behind their husband’s back.”

  “I would never do that,” Snow said.

  “Well of course you wouldn’t, cutie-pie, that hole between your legs is claimed by that big man over there, most women get sent off to little midgets and rich people that would look like tiny princesses if you put them in a pretty pink dress.”

  “I have not claimed anything,” Death snarled. “She is the one who offered herself to me, I am only following her command, make her into my perfect wife to have my heirs.”

  “Uh-huh, you keep telling yourself that mister god,” Vera said with a wink. “I know the face of a man with secrets when I see it.”

  That fox has become a lot more vocal… does she think we are friends now, that she can say such things and escape death? I have the weapon of Aleion now, I shall name it my Choking Chain, fits the history of how I attainted it… I should smash her skull right here and now.

  Snow blushed and held Death’s arm. It soothed his temper; he once again had no idea why. “I love you, Death,” she squeaked.

  Death grunted and said nothing back.

  He never said he didn’t love me, Snow said, blushing harder. I think he’s starting to like me… I must be doing so good.

  Vera was staring into the window of every house. “Hah, fuckin’ pussies! They’re all locked in their cellars hiding out from the storm, those cunts are such cowards when they see a snowflake!”

  I assume that means this snowstorm is going to get even worse than it is now… I don’t think those horses will survive if we leave them in that little hut, not my problem, not my horses—what worries me is the snow coming to my knee, any higher and it shall be hard to walk, hard to fight, hard to do anything.

  Snow fell backwards into the fluffy floor and made snow angels while childishly giggling. “This storm’s a bad one, last time I saw like this I was… three, maybe four?”

  “And it appears just after you’ve come out your little dungeon, mister Death,” Vera joked. “This is the warm welcome of Valan, enjoying your stay?”

  “If the whole city is evacuated why the are we here, fox?” Death knocked on one of the doors, then kicked it open.

  “Oh!” Snow exclaimed. “I’ll start looting the houses for all the coin I can find! I’ll bring anything cool!”

  “Just stay where I can see you, Snow.” Death already lost sight of her. Hm, it’s like managing a puppy.

  “Y’know, some say that the best way to stay warm during the snowstorms is to fuck,” Vera whispered. “Why don’t you fuck Snow in the snow, mister Death, I can watch for any dragons in the sky.”

  “I’m not cold.”

  “Hm? You sure? You’re looking a bit blue… c’mon, think of how warm she’ll be, the heat coming from your bodies—”

  “I’m not interested, fox,” he snarled. “You should know this by now.”

  “Worth a try,” she snickered, looking at a family painting in the house they invaded. “You reckon these twats are in their cellar? This town makes ‘em deep, could fuck a screamer here and they wouldn’t hear a thing.”

  “I’m not interested.”

  “Hey, that one wasn’t a suggestion, just a comparison.”

  “I found gold coins,” Snow yelled, running into the home. “This is the most I’ve ever stolen! I could buy a real home with this, look! There’s even some little red jewels in there!”

  How did she get a small sack full of that in such a short time? Ah, I don’t care, gold is gold. He patted her on the head. “A master of your craft, little thief, go and find more.”

  She dropped the sack onto the table and ran out into the cold to go and find more. “Makes you wonder why no other cunt tried to do something like this,” Vera said. “A whole city empty… now back to my point, if you can’t hear screaming from above a cellar, you can’t hear the screaming in the cellar.”

  “If you suggest I fuck Snow in a cellar, I will break one of your arms, fox, the jests are boring me.”

  “Heh, nah, no sex, torture—there’s a guy who lives in Lakevalor who works closely with Killian Entrail, not high up anymore but he’ll know the beans. We find his home, break into his cellar, I’ll put a fist up his ass until he starts tweeting.”

  A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  “A fine plan, fox, but tell me this: how do you plan to find which of these identical homes is his?”

  “Easy! I know him! I’ve got the nose of a fox, mister Death, he was at that little ritual site, so it’s fresh, I just gotta follow his scent until it gets a little mustier.”

  “I got another sack!” Snow yelled through the window. “I got two more! Look at these!”

  “Snow, where are you getting those?” Death asked suspiciously. “That is too much gold.”

  “It’s all in one place!” she exclaimed. “There’s lots of them! A bunch of scrolls, bunch of swords, you should come and see!”

  Vera’s ears dropped down in shyness, no longer feeling like she was as useful as she could’ve been. “Looks like by the chance of fate, we found the house we needed to find,” he taunted. “You really are quite useless, aren’t you, fox?”

  “Hmph,” she whimpered. “I’m trying my best.”

  “Then you best impress me with your methods of torture, I will let you take the lead in the interrogation.”

  “Torture, huh, who are we torturing?” Snow said. “I wanna kill someone! Can I help?! I’ve always wanted to rip out a fingernail!”

  Death grabbed the three sacks of gold with a sigh. Snow shown them the home, laden with golden artifacts everywhere. Odd, this city must have such a low crime rate to have this on display, not a curtain in sight… or maybe they know this man has links to Killian Entrail, they don’t dare test their luck against a man like that.

  Vera burst out in laughter after seeing a painted portrait on the wall. “He got one of himself with no one else. Gods, look at him, last time I saw him, skinny as a twig, now he’s a real ogre.”

  “So this is his home?” Death asked.

  “Mhm.” Vera ripped the portrait and took the golden frame, stashing it into an empty sack. “Oh, baby, we’re takin’ all o’ this shit for ourselves… Killian Entrail is already tryin’ to put in my ass and cut my throat, he can go to Hell if he thinks I’m not taking every sparkling object here.”

  “Do it,” Death demanded. “Just make sure the sacks will not rip, I have enough strength to carry the weight of all the heavy spoils. When the storm dies, we shall put them on our cart, buy some new horses, find a use for them before they get stolen.”

  “What about the horses we already have?” Snow squeaked.

  “They’re fuckin’ gonna die in this storm!” Vera yelled. “Ain’t gonna keep them warm, they’ll be frozen solid by the storm’s end.”

  Snow ran out of the home in a hurry then came back minutes later with the horses. “I’m not letting them die,” she said. “We’ll keep them in here, come on girls, come inside, are there any carrots in his pantries?”

  “Lookin’ at his chins, probably not, but there’ll be somethin’ in there for them to eat.”

  She really cares about horses. “What about Esroh?” Death said.

  “Hm, what about her?”

  “Who is Esroh?” Vera asked.

  “My horse, she’s at Sekoi, she’ll be fine in the storm! People are always kind to her, she’s probably fatter than ever right now. I’ll get her back when I have time, she always remembers her momma.”

  “Here you go, sack of apples,” Vera said. “Was a bunch of wine and cheese if you care to steal that too.”

  “See it done,” Death said. “We will take everything, including these weapons—I’m taking this sword for myself, nothing special or fancy about it, it’ll do.”

  “Can I have a sword?” Snow asked.

  “That depends, can you fight with one, Snow?” said Death.

  “No…”

  “We can train her!” Vera yelled. “How hard can it be to teach her to wield steel.”

  Harder than you think, fox, it will be good to get her to train so she isn’t completely vulnerable. I don’t wish to train her, but I now see that the stronger I get, the stronger she must be, otherwise she will always be the weakness of my battles.

  “Right, everything is sacked!” Snow exclaimed, smiling at her newfound riches. “Did I do good, Death? Hm? Hm?”

  “You did good, Snow.”

  “Torture time,” Vera hissed. “You gonna get filthy with us, or are you gonna sit in the corner and watch?”

  “Depends on how effective you are,” Death sighed. “He may not even be down there.”

  “Oh, he’s down there… I smell that chubby bastard.”

  The cellar door was locked from the inside, but Death called on his new Choking Chain to smash it open. Snow and Vera flooded in with a battle cry, running into the candle-lit darkness as a third girly scream echoed from deep within. Glass was smashed, the sound of wood cracking against skin, and still screaming.

  Perhaps I should walk a little faster, I could be missing the death of the fox… I doubt I am that lucky.

  Death explored the cellar and the open doors, following the trail of destruction into a room where Vera and Snow where attempting to tie the fattest man Death had ever seen to the largest chair he had ever seen.

  “Stop squirming!” Snow yelled. “I’ll cut off your fuckin’ nipple if you keep trying to get away from me!”

  “Who the fuck are you?” he wailed. “I don’t even know who you are!”

  “You don’t recognise me?” Vera yelled. “Of course you don’t remember me, fatty, get in the fucking chair!”

  Snow was exhausted, panting, wiping sweat from her hair. She removed her winter clothing and returned to her rags. “Gods, I am boiling down here,” she said. “Hey! Get your eyes off my chest or I’ll cut them out! I’ll take them out!”

  “I’m sorry!” the man yelled. “I didn’t mean to!”

  Snow slapped him across the face. “Only Death gets to look at my like that! I belong to him and only him, do not look at me!”

  “Death? Who is…? Oh, gods please, don’t hurt me!”

  Vera shook her hands and presented him like a trophy. “Ta-da, one fatty for you! Told you he was in here!”

  “I don’t think I could’ve done that without the extra strength you gave me,” Snow admitted. “That was… that was hard.”

  “Kinda felt like he gave up,” Vera giggled. “Two cute girls in his cellar, storming him and tying him up—probably thought it was his lucky day until Death came in.”

  “Please don’t hurt me!” he begged. “I don’t know you! Take anything you want!”

  “We already took it,” Vera said, “Sir Death, fat-fuck Finnso, one of many of Killian Entrail’s little doggies… this one used to have his head so far up that big man’s ass you could see him peaking at you from the back of Killian’s throat.”

  “I thought you two wanted to torture him,” Death smirked. “Are you giving up the opportunity that easily?”

  “I’ll get tools!” Snow yelled. “This is gonna be bloody!”