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Chapter 31

  I settle into my chair as I enjoy the cool morning breeze in the palace courtyard and watch the activity going on there. Several women, all strangers to me, are bustling about, clearly busy with the day's tasks, and many of them seem unsure of themselves, as if they have never performed this kind of work before.

  My mother has taken it upon herself to assemble this improvised army of maids, and I can't help but wonder how she did it. Most of them are clearly inexperienced, but in our situation, any extra hands are a blessing. The more people we have to help us, the better, even if they are just novices.

  Except for the cooks. If it were up to her, she would suggest kidnapping them when they leave. Even in the imperial palace, I had never tasted such delicious food.

  But as I look at the new maids and think about them, my mind can't help but return to the situation of Ling Xia, Ling Tian's sister, what the doctor has told me, her situation, and how, to me, the girl is clearly going through an episode of depression in which she only gets out of bed to do what she is told and doesn't want to talk to anyone.

  To complicate matters further, I know what I told my mother, and her only response was that I had brought her here and therefore I was the one who had to solve it, throwing the whole matter onto her eight-year-old daughter. Although I'm sure that if I let enough time pass and act incompetent enough about the matter for my mother to finally take action, I'm not cruel enough to leave the girl in that state for the weeks it would take for that to happen, so in the end I decide it's time for my plan B, which includes praying that it works since I'm not exactly a psychologist.

  I look at Lianhua, who is waiting beside me as usual, and say “Go to the kitchen and ask for some pastries or sweets, whatever, and bring that bag we bought to hang on the chair."

  I see Lianhua looking at me as if trying to guess why I want those things, but she bows as she says “Right away, Zhāohuán Wen."

  While I wait for her, I organize my thoughts and the next steps. I can't leave Ling Xia sunk in that abyss because I simply couldn't live with my conscience if I did. Soon Lianhua returns with a package of carefully wrapped candied fruits and the bag I asked for.

  "Put the bag on the chair and the fruit inside, please”, I instruct her as she carefully places the bag and puts the fruit inside. After a pause, I look at her and add with a touch of dark humor “Take me to the doctor's office, I have a little girl to swindle."

  She frowns at my words, but remains silent and, as usual, decides not to question my motives, so she simply pushes the chair, taking me through the corridors to the rooms where the doctor's office is located.

  When I arrive, the doctor looks up from her desk and asks me “Zhāohuán Wen, what brings you here?"

  "I have a plan to try to improve Ling Xia”, I say bluntly, after which I tell both her and Lianhua what my plan is.

  The doctor seems surprised, but quickly recovers and says “I've tried everything, so I guess anything new is welcome."

  After that, Lianhua takes me to the room where the patients' beds are and leaves me on the bed next to Ling Xia's bed, after which she leaves the chair next to the wall and away from the bed to leave the room.

  After Lianhua leaves, I look at Ling Xia and see that the girl is lying in bed staring at the ceiling, and her empty gaze gives me a chill.

  A thick silence fills the room as I watch her motionless, and I finally break the silence by saying “My name is Sun Wen. What's your name?"

  Silence. No reaction. The girl continues to stare at the ceiling as if I weren't there, so I sigh softly and prepare myself for what is to come.

  For the next few minutes, I talk incessantly without expecting a response. I tell her that I am here because the doctor has given me a checkup. Then I change the subject, talking about the nice weather outside, telling her about some stories I have read in books, and continuing with trivial topics, jumping from one to another, as in a casual conversation with someone who listens but has nothing to say.

  Although she doesn't respond, I watch her eyes closely. Although they are empty at first, I notice that little by little they begin to react. They are not big changes, but I notice that she is listening to me and that my words are getting through the fog in her mind. Her eyes, previously dull, begin to show small glimmers of life.

  Finally, I decide it's time for the second part of my plan, so I say in a more confident tone “I have candied fruit, would you like some?"

  Ling Xia blinks and her blank expression transforms into a mixture of curiosity and confusion. Her eyes finally settle on me and I silently thank whoever is listening that the mention of sweets has worked as I hoped.

  "I have some candied fruit in the bag on my chair”, I say softly, trying not to scare her. "But I'll need your help to get it. I... can't walk."

  I see Ling Xia's expressionless face shake with surprise, and she sits up slightly in bed to stare at me as she asks in a trembling voice “Is it true that you can't walk?"

  I sigh visibly as I let the air escape from my lips with a touch of drama.

  "Yes, it's true”, I say with a calmness that I hope will reassure her. "I've never been able to walk. Sometimes, when I saw other children running and playing hide-and-seek in the garden where I used to live, I was very jealous, because it's something I could never do."

  Ling Xia watches me silently as her large eyes scrutinize my face. After a few seconds, she nods slowly, as if somehow understanding my situation after imagining it.

  "Would you mind going over to my chair and getting the candied fruit? It's in the bag hanging from it”, I ask, offering her a small encouraging smile.

  With one last glance at my legs, Ling Xia gets out of bed and walks slowly toward the chair with hesitant but determined steps. In my mind, I cheer her on as I rejoice for her, for this is a small step forward.

  "They're in the bag”, I say again when I see that she has reached the chair. The girl carefully opens the bag and, after a few seconds, takes out the wrappers. I see her inspect them before looking at me, as if waiting for confirmation.

  "Those are the ones. Bring them over so we can eat them”, I say with a touch of enthusiasm in my voice.

  Ling Xia approaches me again, holding the wrapped fruit as if it were a treasure. When she reaches me, she hands me the sweets delicately, and when I take them, I sigh visibly again and say “I think we have a little problem."

  Ling Xia's eyes widen with concern and she asks me nervously “What problem?"

  "If we take them out of their wrappers right here, we're going to get ourselves and probably the bed dirty. I don't think the doctor will be very happy if we make a mess”, I say with an amused smile, but there is a seriousness in my tone that catches her attention.

  Ling Xia frowns with obvious concern and asks me “So what do we do then?"

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  "Well, you're going to have to go see the doctor”, I suggest. "And tell her we want to eat something, but we need some napkins so we don't stain the bed."

  I see her gaze waver and her body shrink slightly. I know the idea intimidates her, as it's not an easy task for a girl in her condition, but she needs to take that step.

  "I would go myself, but I can't”, I say as I look down at my legs, making sure she sees exactly what I'm looking at. My own inability carries a weight that I hope Ling Xia feels.

  For a moment she remains motionless, but then I notice something, a small spark of compassion appears in her eyes and in an almost inaudible voice she says “Don't worry, I'll take care of it."

  I smile inwardly with relief and watch her turn toward the door, so I say to her before she leaves “Remember, the doctor's office is right next door."

  When the door closes, I let out a mental sigh of relief that my plan to play the pity card, along with a generous bribe of sweets, is working.

  A few minutes pass and the door opens again, letting Ling Xia in with a pile of napkins in her hands, almost as if the doctor had decided to go overboard with the amount. After entering, Ling Xia says to me in a more cheerful voice than before “The doctor gave me all of this."

  "You were quick!" I congratulate her with a smile and notice her face light up with pride. "Come on, bring them here."

  Ling Xia approaches and carefully spreads the napkins on the bed, as if they were a makeshift tablecloth, and I place the fruit on top while telling Ling Xia to sit on the bed.

  Ling Xia sits on the other side of the bed, and I notice that she seems a little more relaxed than before. I pick up a piece of candied fruit and hold it out to her, saying “Go on, take one."

  The girl hesitates for a moment, but the temptation of the sweet is stronger, so she finally reaches out, takes one, and begins to eat it silently. The sound of the wrapper is almost a whisper in the air.

  "I already told you my name is Sun Wen”, I remind her with a smile as I take a bite of my candied fruit. "And what's your name?"

  "Ling Xia”, she replies in a soft, almost embarrassed tone.

  "That's a very pretty name”, I say, and I see her cheeks turn red at the compliment.

  We talk for the next few minutes as we eat. The conversation is light, and little by little I get Ling Xia to tell me a few things about herself. It's not much, but it's enough to start getting her to open up.

  Time seems to fly by, and just as we finish the candied fruit, the door opens again. It's Lianhua, who enters the room with her usual serious expression, just as we had agreed.

  "Zhāohuán Wen, it's time to go”, she informs me in her soft but firm voice.

  I look at Ling Xia and her expression changes immediately. Sadness fills her face, as if she fears being left alone again, so I ask her “Would you like to come with me to my room? I have some books and we can read them together if you want."

  Ling Xia's eyes light up immediately, and I see her face regain its joy as she replies “I'd love to!"

  "Perfect”, I say, smiling. I motion to Lianhua, who comes over to help me into the chair, and I look at Ling Xia and ask “Would you like to sit on my lap?"

  Ling Xia hesitates, looking at my legs as if wondering if doing so would hurt me in some way.

  "It's okay”, I reassure her with a reassuring smile.

  She finally nods, and Lianhua helps her sit carefully on my lap. Once she is settled, Lianhua begins to push the chair out of the room, and we both head toward my room, leaving behind the darkness that had been in Ling Xia's eyes.

  The sound of laughter and cheerful shouts from children playing echoes in the courtyard. From my chair, I watch them kick a ball around and can't help but smile when I see Ling Xia actively participating in the game. I am filled with relief to see how she has integrated, all thanks to my persistence in convincing my mother to allow the new maids to bring their young children to the palace under the pretext of improving their condition. It is an unheard-of gesture in this day and age, where the expression "work-life balance" is something that escapes her comprehension, but at least Ling Xia now has someone to play with, which was the main goal.

  In the half a month that has passed since I managed to get her to accompany me to my room, it had become clear that the books she was able to read, along with a few board games, were not enough to keep her mind occupied, and her free time brought her back to her dark thoughts. But now, with the children running around her, she seems to be in better spirits.

  However, I notice Ling Xia looking at me for the umpteenth time during the game, as if she's afraid I've left. I sigh softly as I wonder if I've replaced her depression with an excessive dependence on me. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but for now, I'm satisfied. Anything is better than the state she was in before.

  Leaving those concerns for my future self, I decide to seize the moment and pick up the book on runes that I had asked Lianhua to leave on the table next to my chair. I have waited a long time to read it, holding back until this very moment. The book is thin, and after what the manager of the Golden Pearl Pavilion told me about guild secrets, I don't expect any great revelations. But it must explain something, or so I hope.

  I open the book with anticipation and begin to read. It starts with a long explanation of runes, which, according to the author, are like conduits that guide, concentrate, or release the Qi introduced into them to achieve specific effects. The details are vague, but I continue reading. Then, the text delves into how talismans, formations, and enchantments use the same runes, but written in different ways for each type of use, but the author apologizes for not giving examples, arguing that he doesn't want to get into trouble with sects, guilds, and clans, so I can't help but roll my eyes.

  As I continue, I find several pages with carefully drawn symbols that, according to the book, represent the most common symbols, namely the types of Qi, which are Fire, Water, Earth, Air, Nature, Yin, Yang, and finally the symbol that symbolizes Qi as a whole.

  Each drawing is accompanied by a long dissertation on how that symbol works, as the author attempts to explain why each symbol has that shape. However, with years of reading academic dissertations, I can clearly see that the person who wrote this book does not have a true understanding of how runes work, and their words are full of assumptions, probably based on what they have heard from others.

  But the strangest thing is not the book itself, but what I feel when I see the symbols and something inside me begins to click, as if those symbols were calling me. Suddenly, I enter a state of mental flow very similar to what I experienced when I was studying the written language of this world in the library.

  In this state, I begin to notice inconsistencies between what the author has written and what I perceive in the symbols. I feel that something is not right, but with so few references and symbols at my disposal, I cannot pinpoint exactly what is wrong, and I remain immersed in these thoughts as I lose track of time.

  Suddenly, I feel a jolt on my shoulder and am abruptly pulled out of my state of concentration, a little dazed. I blink and look around, trying to get my bearings, to see Lianhua looking at me with a frown, and next to her, Ling Xia with a frightened look on her face.

  Lianhua sighs visibly relieved when she sees me looking at her and says “Zhāohuán Wen, are you okay? Ling Xia came looking for me, scared because you hadn't moved in a long time, and when I asked you if something was wrong, you didn't even hear me."

  I take a moment to finish recovering and look around to see that the sun has changed position in the sky. How long have I been like this? At least several hours have passed. I look at Lianhua again and notice the concern on her face, so I say to her “Something similar happened to me in the library when Jinshi Wenxue gave me the book on characters to study so many years ago."

  Lianhua seems to think for a moment, as if trying to remember something that happened years ago, and finally replies in a tone that reflects some confusion “I don't remember anything like that."

  Suddenly, I realize that I never told anyone what happened to me that day, so it was natural for them to be scared when they saw me in a state I hadn't told them about.

  I look at Ling Xia, who is still standing next to Lianhua, clearly frightened. I'm not sure if she's afraid of being scolded or if she's worried about what happened to me, so I try to reassure her and say “You did very well to go and find Lianhua. You were very smart and brave."

  Ling Xia blushes at my words, and her expression changes from frightened to serious, and she asks me in a soft voice “Are you okay? Are you all right?"

  I smile to reassure her and say “I'm fine, don't worry. But if you ever notice something similar happening to me, I want you to go find Lianhua again and tell her how long I've been like this. Can you promise me you'll do that?"

  Ling Xia nods with an expression of absolute seriousness as she replies “I promise."

  Then I look at Lianhua and give her new instructions "If I go into that state again, only bring me out if I've been in it for more than three periods. I think more than that would be dangerous, although I don't know exactly why."

  Lianhua nods, accepting my orders without question, and replies with her usual firmness “I'll be vigilant, Zhāohuán Wen."

  Seeing that several servants and maids in the courtyard are watching us, I decide that we have attracted enough attention for now and say to Lianhua and Ling Xia “You can go back to what you were doing, I'm fine."

  They both look at me one last time before leaving, and I watch as Lianhua heads inside the palace while Ling Xia runs toward the group of children, who had stopped playing to watch us.

  Once they are out of sight, I pick up the book again, ready to continue, when a voice interrupts me.

  "Wen, are you okay?" I hear my mother's voice, tinged with concern, forcing me to look up to see her approaching with Lingxi close behind, so I mentally prepare myself for a long explanation. I know the questions will come soon, and they are questions for which, unfortunately, I don't yet have all the answers.

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