The echo of my inner scream seems to resonate through the majesty of the hall, although in reality I remain as silent as ever, my eyes wide open, fixed on the imperial figure dominating the room. The Emperor, my supposed father, radiates undeniable authority, with a presence as formidable as the throne he occupies. On either side of the throne are two people. On the right is a figure who is clearly a eunuch, dressed in the most luxurious costume I have ever seen, who looks at us with unusual seriousness. On his left is a tall, thin man dressed in armor, with a large mustache that can barely hide a half-smile as he alternates his gaze between the Emperor and me.

  Fearfully, I look around for any clue as to what this ceremony might be about, but apart from the strange altar and many phoenix and lotus decorations and some chests to one side of it, I can't notice anything else.

  My mother, still kneeling, raises her head and, in a clear and firm voice, addresses the emperor "Son of Heaven, I present to you my daughter in her first month of life, as dictated by our traditions and your will, so that you may grant her a name."

  Hearing my mother's words, everything that is happening suddenly makes sense to me, and I understand that we are celebrating my Man Yue ritual.

  The Man Yue ceremony, traditionally held to commemorate a baby's first month of life, takes on a new dimension given my unusual position and my family's status. The excessive preparations, the honor guard, and now the audience with the emperor, my father, all make sense in the context of this tradition deeply rooted in Chinese culture.

  And the political importance of our family has only magnified the celebration even further. The magnitude of this event is so far removed from the few celebrations of this kind I had seen in my world that it simply hadn't crossed my mind.

  I see the emperor nod as the eunuch on his right steps forward and begins to speak in a clear voice that echoes throughout the hall "May Wen be her name and may her surname share the glory of the Sun family. May her wisdom live up to her name and that of her ancestors."

  Next, from one side of the hall, what appears to be a Taoist priest approaches, dressed in ceremonial robes and carrying a pair of small gold plates with objects on them a small jade seal and a delicate bird feather. These objects, I realize, must be important. The seal, in shape, resembles the seals used in ancient China, and as for the feather, I suppose it has some kind of symbolic meaning. The supposed priest approaches the altar at the foot of the steps and places the plates on the altar, after which he walks backwards, as if not to turn his back on the emperor.

  The eunuch, after waiting for the man to leave, continues speaking "These objects are the Imperial Seal, representing the power of the Empire, and a feather from Tianyu Feng, the guardian beast of our lands. May both give their blessing to Sun Wen."

  After these words, and without anyone saying anything to her, as if everything had been rehearsed, RuNu Lianhua stands up and carefully advances to the altar without looking at any point toward the upper part of the hall where the emperor is, placing me on a silk cushion on the altar, right in the center, with the seal on one side and the feather on the other. After placing me on the altar, she walks backwards, never turning her back on the emperor, to kneel again behind my mother as before.

  Once on the cushion, I curiously examine both the jade seal and the feather, sensing something strange about them, but without knowing exactly what it is. As I look at the objects, the eunuch continues to speak "May the Imperial Seal imbue Sun Wen with the glory of her ancestors, may the Tianyu Feng feather protect you from all evil. May the Heavens grant you their blessing and a long life."

  With a sweeping gesture of his arm, he points in the direction of the chests as he continues. I look in that direction as best I can, but I can see little from where I am.

  "The emperor, in his infinite generosity, grants these treasures to Sun Wen as a birth gift, so that she may grow up to be a daughter worthy of the Sun family”, he continues without missing a beat.

  As I listen to the whole speech, it seems more and more like a formal ceremony with set phrases. If I have siblings, which I have no doubt I do, I am sure that the same ritual has been performed and the same phrases have been spoken for each of them. The only strange thing is that he keeps referring to me as a member of the Sun family, but he doesn't say that I am a princess, the emperor's daughter, or anything similar, which surprises me in such a formal ceremony in a throne room.

  The eunuch continues to speak in ceremonial phrases, and to be honest, I'm starting to get tired of the ceremony. I don't know how they expect a normal baby to endure all this without crying, and I'm tempted to do so just to see how they react, but looking at the man I assume is my father, I see that he is staring at me, and when he sees me looking at him, his stony face seems to break into a small smile, so I decide not to spoil the ritual.

  With a stony face, as if bored by the ceremony, the eunuch continues with his script "Consort Fei Xiang may pick up her daughter and present her to the emperor."

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  Looking at my mother, I see her get up and approach the altar, pick me up in her arms, and slowly climb the steps leading to the emperor's throne. As she climbs, I get nervous. I know I have no reason to be after all that has been said and done, but I am still a little afraid that, because of the problem with my legs, the Emperor will decide to do something drastic and eliminate what he may see as a stain on the imperial family.

  After reaching the top of the stairs, my mother kneels before the emperor while she lifts me above her head. I look at the Emperor, and now that I am much closer and my vision is better than it was on that first day, I see that he is quite handsome, with a long, well-groomed beard. As I examine him, he stands up. As he rises, the eunuch and the man in armor kneel, and from the sound that rises in the room, I imagine that everyone else present also kneels.

  My father, after looking at me briefly, and without showing the smile I saw before when he looked at me while I was on the altar, picks me up with both hands and lifts me before the court", he says in a deep voice. "We recognize you as an imperial daughter and give you the title of Zhāohuán, favorite daughter of the emperor."

  As he utters these words, I notice the eunuch to my father's right flinch and the corner of his eye twitch, as if what he has just said was not part of the ritual. I also begin to hear quiet whispers around the room, as if no one expected such a declaration from the Emperor.

  After uttering these words, ignoring all the whispers around him, I see him look at my mother and continue speaking.

  "Fei Xiang, as of today, we grant you the title of Guifei Xiang. As befits your new rank, you are assigned the Pavilion of the Scent of Clouds in the inner palace to reside there”, my father continues.

  I see the eunuch make a gesture as if to rise, while the whispers around the room grow louder, but my father gestures with one arm while holding me with the other, and the eunuch kneels again as the whispers stop abruptly.

  "We have spoken, and our will shall be obeyed”, he says in a tone that indicates serious trouble for anyone who disagrees.

  After picking me up again with both hands, he places me back in my mother's arms, who holds me to her chest while I can feel through her arms that she is trembling. When I look up at her face, I see beads of sweat on her forehead and a nervousness I have never seen in her before, except on that first night when they told her about the problem with my legs.

  My father sits down again, and everyone stands up again, including my mother. I see her gesture with her arm toward the eunuch, who, now that I notice, is looking at us with a grim face, as if the disruption of the ritual were our fault. Out of curiosity, I look at the guy in the armor and see that he is struggling to remain serious, and from the way he is looking at the scene, I think it is so as not to start laughing.

  As I look at the man in armor, the eunuch seems to compose himself and, despite continuing to look at us as if we had killed his dog or something similar, he continues with the ceremony, but from his tone, it seems that he is no longer following the established script, but rather has to think about his words before speaking.

  "Guifei Xiang, you may withdraw with Zhāohuán Wen”, he finally says.

  My mother, still nervous from the events, turns around carefully, as if she is not used to turning her back on the emperor, and begins to descend. As she descends, I notice that she composes herself and regains her dignified bearing, as if she were now an empress descending the stairs. And I may not be entirely wrong, if I remember the ancient imperial ranks correctly, her new title would only be one step below the emperor's official wife.

  When she finishes descending the stairs, she walks back to where she was at the beginning and hands me to RuNu Lianhua, who, from the look on her face, is completely surprised and picks me up as if I were some kind of treasure and not a baby. After handing me over, my mother kneels again as she did at the beginning of the ceremony.

  The eunuch speaks again, as if wanting the ceremony to end as quickly as possible "Next, the traditional banquet will be held in the Hall of Supreme Harmony."

  When he finishes speaking, my father suddenly stands up, causing everyone to kneel again. Looking around the room, he turns and leaves the hall through some curtains behind the throne platform, accompanied by the man in armor and the eunuch, who looks like he wanted to say something else but was cut off. He quickly turns around and leaves behind them.

  After the emperor leaves, everyone present, now speaking in hushed voices since the emperor's presence no longer prevents them from talking, gets up. My mother and RuNu Lianhua also get up and, approaching us, my mother instructs RuNu Lianhua to take me to my quarters to rest, as she has to attend the banquet.

  My mother strokes my head to say goodbye to me, and I see her walking toward a side door of the hall. As she heads for the door, I see many people approaching her with the intention of speaking to her, but I cannot see what happens because at that moment RuNu Lianhua decides to leave the hall.

  As we leave, I am surprised. Apart from the escort of women who came with us, I see half a dozen soldiers, these men wearing the same armor as the guards at the palace gates.

  One of them approaches and tells RuNu Lianhua that he has orders to accompany us to the outer palace, which I assume is the enclosure we came from.

  Both the new soldiers and six of the guards who came with us surround us and quickly guide us along the path we came. When we reach the gates of the courtyard where the house we live in is located, the male guards remain outside and we enter accompanied by the female guards, who hurry RuNu Lianhua into our quarters as if they fear something might happen.

  As we return, I reflect on the end of the ceremony. It is clear that what my father did was not planned and took everyone by surprise. It remains to be seen whether what he did was good or bad. I suppose it all depends on his reasons for doing it.

  When we reach the now familiar room where my crib is, RuNu Lianhua puts me in it, tucks me in, and then leaves. I realize that since we left the hall, she hasn't spoken to me or called me Gongzhu Wen as she usually does. With a sigh, as I fall asleep, my little body exhausted from all the excitement, I pray that RuNu Lianhua will return to normal tomorrow, as I had grown accustomed to her and would miss her conversations with me, even though I never responded.