Oh, thank god we finally stopped. My brain is running on fumes, and I can barely move without stumbling. Drusil is shaking her head at me, but she's still carrying me around on her shoulder as a raven as we enter a dining room.

  "Come on, Precious, you need to eat."

  I really don't want to. My entire body is shaky, and all I wanna do is pass out again. I spent hours—that actually felt like days—running around and improvising spells and shapeshifting only to be used as a sentient target dummy. I didn't even beat her back once, and it turns out her clothing has defensive enchantments in it that mean affecting her directly with a spell takes way more effort than I thought. On the bright side, I did manage to avoid her for a minute a few times before she raised the standard to five minutes. Sure. I can heal myself. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt when you get whacked into the ground for what feels like the thousandth time.

  I nibble on my food while pouting and grumping at her. The mean vampire is just eating contendly.

  "Since we're done for today, we should talk about how you did."

  I sigh. "Can't you just evaluate me? Surely your teachers did that to you."

  "They did, but being able to evaluate yourself is indispensable for self-improvement. You need to know what you did right so you can keep it up, and what you did wrong so you don't repeat mistakes that could end with you dead. Of even more import is the fact that this also applies to your opponents. You can judge them during a fight and take note of their mistakes and their strong suits. It's all about who knows themselves and their opponent best. So, Precious, how did you think you did?"

  Urgh. Just kill me. "Great. Fantastic. I've never been in a fight in my life, and I learned how to use magic yesterday."

  "And then you spent all of today getting chased and beaten..."

  I know. Fuck. "Urgh fine. I guess I'm bad at dodging? I rely too much on spells I know without taking your defenses into consideration. I also lose track of you when I cast something that requires focus."

  "That's about right, yes. Now what did you succeed at?"

  "Getting pummeled by a mean-spirited old hag."

  She raises an eyebrow at that. Whoops.

  "Is that so."

  "No! I mean, uhm, I didn't panic?"

  She chuckles, and I catch a fsh of fangs. Oh, thank God, she skipped over it. Why am I provoking her.

  "Yes. You did in fact do well, especially for your first time. I especially liked how you realized my weapon was hardened blood and disarmed me by dissolving the liquid. If I had been dependent on weapons, that might have worked. Encircling me with fmes at the start was also smart. If not for my experience and equipment, that might have ended the fight."

  Oh good, she's praising the pure desperate panic the fight started with. Not like she just ignored it and ran through it or anything.

  "You also used shapeshifting very well. Can you take bigger forms than the ones you've been using?"

  "Yeah. I mean, I think I can turn into any animal I've seen? That's the theory."

  "Then why didn't you do that? As good as small animals might be for escaping, they're of no use against someone experienced with magic."

  Because any animal I can turn into will be turned into pulp when you hit me?

  "Are you limited to animals? What about other creatures? You've threatened to turn me into something before."

  Urgh. Regret. I forgot I can polymorph myself. The instinct with wildshape just doesn't require any focus.

  "You run like an infant, and you're physically much slower than me. I could fight you unarmed with my eyes closed, and it'd be embarrassingly easy."

  I sink into my seat and try to vanish from the world. Urrrrgghhh.

  Drusil appears next to me with a hand on my head and a comforting smile.

  "I know it feels like I'm bullying you and it seems difficult, but like you said, this was your first fight, and it was against someone who's spent the majority of their life at war. You're much more powerful than you think, and you actually managed to make me take you seriously a few times."

  Honestly. It's not fair. People aren't supposed to be this nice and encouraging. I'm very grateful, but it's been a long day, and my everything hurts. I get up and start walking away, startling her, I think.

  "Strax, there's no need to be angry--"

  "I'm not angry; I'm just testing something."

  Right. Plenty of room. Time to see if this works as I reach into my mana and flood my body trying to think of the form I want. My point of view grows, and I can feel the strength in my limbs as well as the crackling energy of lightning.

  I stomp around a bit in excitement and see Drusil looking up at me, mouth agape. I walk over to her and pat her tiny head with my giant head. I mean that literally. I can polymorph into a fucking storm giant. This is insane. I feel like a moron for not thinking about the potential of polymorph earlier. If I can get a form that's resistant to her absurd physical specs and overpower her, I might have a chance at something.

  A part of me is tempted to actually turn into a dragon, but with how she's spoken about them, that feels... heretical? That or I'll be treated with some sort of worship, and it's already awkward enough that the hot, nice, enticingly predatory vampire is this nice to me.

  "Well. Yes, that's certainly something you could've done that might have helped. I wasn't aware you knew what giants were."

  I ugh in a deep, rumbling baritone before dropping the spell.

  "That might be true, but I'm pooped and ready for bed."

  "Pooped? How vulgar."

  Drusil ughs as she scoops me up in a princess carry. I'm getting too used to this. I really hope my blushing isn't obvious with this skin color.