As Rin leaned back against the trunk of feeling his mind slowly slipping into sleep, soon his head filled with visions of the people of the past and speaking the words of his thoughts.... First his father appearing and shaking his head...
'You betrayed your people. You're not worthy of such luxuries you've been given. I know I didn't get them. So you should be no different.'
Then he disappeared and his mother took form as she just stared at him.
'You betrayed both your clans, you can't even come home to hold your head high and own up to your mistakes. Not how I raised any son of mine.'
And lastly the person he truly feared and wished to make things right with. The Dragonborn...
'You betrayed not just what you came from but the very foundation of our society, outlander. You broke our unwritten rules. And you think now you of all people deserve love? What a joke. You will never be able to truly feel that with me weighing on your mind.'
His eye opened not knowing how long it had been, but at least able to tell it was now just barely morning. He got up and tried to slip outside and leave before she noticed...
Xylia was already up and sitting by the fire tending to it. Having put in a log herself and currently poking it, and keeping it going. He merely let his shoulders drop as he exhaled softly.
"Our aura often influences our subconscious, can create realistic dreams. Especially when the mind is troubled. Clouded by things that happened, actions you've taken, conflicted about the path you've put yourself on. Any number of reasons." Rin explained as he finally came out of the shelter
She clearly was listening, he could tell by her posture and way her gaze slightly aimed at him, even if she kept her focus on tending to the fire. Not probing his mind for answers, but clearly had felt the traces of his dreams. She knew he'd tell on his own time, after all he hadn't pressed her on her past, she wouldn't pressure him.
"I suppose you've learnt enough by now. You show understanding where many others have not, the patience to listen. Now we can begin to creating a place for your magic." He further explained as he sat down across from her now
She looked confused yet again. Was this truly where magic would finally come into play? He had displayed and explained some of his own the previous night. She herself had for as long as she could remember feel a cold surrounding her. All that he had told her made sense. But even still now she had a hard time wrapping her head around magic being actually real.
He now took out a handful of powder again and tossed it in, causing the fire to react and change colors again, taking on a green hue, something about this shade reminded her of her parents...
She watched intently as shadows danced. This time three stick figures appeared. Something about these three seemed happy, like they had everything, until one day, they did not return...
Xylia felt a pounding in her chest and ache in her heart. Tears threatening to escape. She didn't want to think about this, she didn't want to see this!
"You can't keep running from what pain lies in your soul. It will eat away at you, consume you, break you down, destroy you. Leave you so hollow that there is nothing left of you." He explained as she covered her ears in defiance of these of these words refusing to hear them "Something I myself still have to do as well..." he added speaking softly now
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Xylia put her hands down looking on at him with a look of worry now.
"When I came to these lands... I joined them. The dark guilds I mean." He said looking her way now as she now looked shocked beyond belief "I honed my skills and magic for one purpose, to kill." He added as she looked more mortified
With this he held up his arm and showed the scarring of where his stub was. She recoiled slightly. Almost able to feel the pain attached to this wound, the memories.
"When he deemed it necessary. He gave a task, a mission no one could have pulled off, a suicide mission. One where I was the messenger." He explained as she could start to understand him a little more "But now I'm here. Away from it all, keeping as many people safe as possible..." he added as she looked confused again
He sighed gently, he understood that she wasn't familiar with how guild politics worked.
"I broke the one rule that all guilds honor, even dark guilds do not break it. I told the secrets of the dark guild I served to kingdom. No matter the level of torment one is put under, they honor this unwritten law between guilds. So now here I am out in the mountains. Hiding like a coward, seeking atonement for my sins, haunted by my own ghosts that whisper my failures in my dreams..." he explained to her
She felt a sense of dread wash over her, anger for what he had done, but not true hatred. She did not see this man he had described, this man she had met was one of patience, understanding, the kind of tempered mind and soul that knew what it would take to properly discipline one's self and prevent them from harming themselves. He had taken care to show her his ways, invite her into his camp, made sure she had food and rest first.
She looked his way and studied him intently as he looked at her confused. She took a slow deep breath before letting it out. Her hands gripping her knees hard, she was pushing herself to speak. It was clearly a lot to do as he watched in astonishment almost standing up, not wanting her to push herself. She pursed her lips hard and opened her mouth at last.
"They... died, in a carriage..." Xylia finally managed to say before almost collapsing completely from the sheer force of pushing herself to say even just that much
Rin exhaled slightly relieved but also annoyed as he sat back down now. As her breathing slowly returned to normal, she gave him a look of knowing and trust. He studied her eyes again, seeing it so clearly.
"Listen to the crackling of the fire... the sound of your heartbeat, with each long slow breath, tune out the world around you, including me... and you will find your way there." He said giving his lesson at last
Xylia was slightly confused, but knew there would be no explanation if she tried to inquire. So she had to listen to his instructions. Have a little faith that what he was doing was real. Soon she could now feel a faint buzzing in her ear. She couldn't quite understand what this was, her vision blurred as it felt like she fell into a deep trance as she stared into the fire again...
Xylia's focus came back to as she was someplace else entirely. Very much like the forest she was in now. But it overlooked a small lake, by it stood a large tree. She knew this tree well. Its large curving trunk and its roots outstretched making a little hideaway. She always loved this tree, it stood right outside the cottage even to this day.
She stood there rooted to the spot as she heard a little girls voice echoing around her, her heart hammering in her chest as she saw her.
"I've been calling you for a long time" the little girl said as she stood and smiled at her, waving a little flower around but holding it as if it were the most precious thing in the whole world.
Xylia didn't understand what was happening, she looked around for a moment, trying to comprehend what was happening. *am I dead?* she thought but quickly looked back to the girl as she heard a giggle.
"You're not dead silly" the girl said through her giggles. "You found me! You can go back now but you'll hear me from now on!" She cheered and walked forward to her. The girl was beautiful, long brown hair and green eyes that sparkled and it dawned on her suddenly.
Xylia bent down to be level with the girl, smiling softly at her with tears in her eyes. The young girl moved towards her and kissed Xylia's cheek before handing her the flower. "You're safe with him" she whispered before everything went black.
A large gasp ripped from her throat as her eyes opened, her body shooting up until she sat up right and lifted her hand to her heart to steady her breathing. Rin sat there quietly waiting as he offered her a cup of water.
"Take a slow sip." He said kindly as she accepted it and did so
Xylia now looked at him now with wide eyes of irritation at what she'd just seen. She wanted answers, she wanted to know what that world was, who was that person?
Rin looked at her from the corner of his eye and chuckled a little.
"It's up to each of us what we see in there. Letters you wrote but never sent or threw away, dreams and ideas that truly inspired us before fading away from the surface level with time and change. Books and songs that truly sparked our curiosity and expanded our thinking that we put away, places that made us happy for a time before we left. The things about yourself you thought you'd lost so long ago." Rin explained to her slowly, going through everything
She placed a hand over her chest, feeling her heart still hammering against her ribs. Her eyes wide as she looked at him again for more answers.
"I can't tell you everything. Just that it's a world of your own creation, a manifestation of aura and our soul igniting that spark, aura feeds on our emotions, gives life to our magic. What we like least about ourselves. It's up to you to decide how to interpret and interact with it." Rin said to her lastly on the matter of this phenomenon
She was once more slightly annoyed by this lack of understanding, as well as his refusal to tell her. But what he had said made enough sense for her mind to start to put the pieces together.
That place made her feel more at peace with herself than she had in a long time. She still couldn't believe this, but she could start to understand what this was. It made her smile, made feel a little more at peace with herself.
"Now... now we begin the real training." Rin said as he could see her coming to her own conclusions and understanding in his lessons
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