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Omake 19: Conjured Duck

  Altered Bonds Extras

  Omake 19 — Conjured Duck

  (Best read after Chapter 17)

  (Canon? — uhhhhh)

  “I’m trying to summon our author.”

  To say Lucario had been gobsmacked by Eira’s reply was an understatement. The false Vulpix stood close to the pond bank in Gabite’s land, carrying a piece of sliced, stale bread in her white tails. Her face was all business, with only a hint of a smile.

  Lucario used his aurasense, just to make sure. Unfortunately, he detected no lies in her words. “You’re doing what now?” he said.

  “You asked me why I was outside, and why I have stale bread, right? I’m trying to summon our author.” Eira pointed toward the pond, surrounded by long grass and cattails. “Right here, in fact.”

  The first thought Lucario had was that something was clearly wrong with Eira. The second thought was him questioning if the Alolan Vulpix in front of him Eira. What did the bread even have to do with this? “Kid, I don’t know where you got this idea from—”

  “I’ve been thinking about it,” Eira interrupted, pacing for a brief moment. “”

  “You’re under a prophecy, that’s not—”

  “” Eira made a face as she stared up at him. “”

  Lucario moved to speak, but Eira raised a paw, insisting that she finish her spiel. “”

  “Stop.” Lucario found himself breaking into a cold sweat, suddenly too aware of how his words were most of the time. How they flowed a little too well, and how rarely he seemed to fall into random tangents in conversations these days. “Please, stop it, you’re freaking me out.”

  Eira put on an awkward face. “So yeah, I’m pretty sure we have an author.”

  “No, we don’t. I refuse to believe this.”

  A shrug came from the kid as she turned around. “You don’t mind if I prove it to you?”

  Eira approached the edge of the pond. Lucario wore a rigid, incredulous face as she took the large piece of stale bread held in her white tails, throwing it into the reedy pond in Gabite’s plot of land. An anticipatory noise left the kid as she waited, tails swaying.

  The world around them went unnaturally still. “Kid,” Lucario grumbled with a shake of his head. “This is ridiculous, whatever you’re doing won’t—”

  The pond erupted with a splash, a yellow duck quacking in startlement as he popped its head out. He looked from side to side, letting out noises of confusion.

  The unexpected guest left Lucario floored. His jaw hung open as Eira let out a squeal of joy, fixated on the strange-looking duck. The duck shook himself as he adjusted to his surroundings, bringing up a wing to scratch his head. Then frowned, as best as one could with a duck bill. The duck dove back down into the water.

  He reemerged with a top hat in his mouth. He tossed it in the air, the hat elegantly falling right into place on his head.

  “The what,” was all Lucario managed to say.

  Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

  “See?” came Eira’s cheerful response. “We have an author!”

  “We have an author.”

  “We do!”

  “You summoned our author with a pond and stale bread.”

  “I did! —”

  “The author is a literal off-color duck.”

  “Uh, kinda? I’m not really sure where the duck part comes in.” Eira moved toward the duck. “Excuse me, Mister Duck? You’re supposed to be our author, right?”

  Mister Duck, if that was what they were calling him, tilted his head for a moment. Then brought up his wings in a gesture.

  It gave Eira pause. “A-are you actually a duck, Mister Duck?” she asked.

  A nod and a shake of the head. Eira blinked at the conflicting gestures.

  “So like, you’re the duck, but not the literal author himself? But you’re still the author?”

  Just a nod this time. Mister Duck took a moment to preen his feathers, a quiet quack leaving his beak. Lucario rubbed his head.

  “Yeah, great, this is tripping me up harder than tripwire on the top of a stairwell of Kalos’s Prism Tower,” he muttered, throwing Eira a dull look. “Just saying, I did not need to know my entire life was written by a not-duck entity—”

  A pause. Lucario slowly turned his head back to the duck, realization dawning upon him. And with it, a terrible rage.

  “My trainer.” A snarl left his throat, a finger pointed forward in accusation. “My trainer! You took my trainer’s life, you sick freak of nature!”

  The duck gave him a very confused look. It stoked Lucario’s anger further, the jackal marching toward him. “You made my life miserable, and the kid’s!” he snapped. “The amount of suffering I’ve been through since I ended up—”

  He came just within striking distance, before suddenly quivering. Aura had ignited on his curled fists, and he brushed against the duck’s inner energy. The feedback that came back overwhelmed him at once, making him too aware of the puppeteered before him. It was a being that was eldritch in origin, a mouthpiece that didn’t conform to any laws of the universe. Its shape was only for convenience, made to hide a bizarre creature with an aura that didn’t conform to its body. And its thoughts? Better left unspoken of — it held such an inner madness, it seemed to scar even the thinker itself.

  It numbed the jackal, making him step back. He hurried to disable his aurasense, shuddering to himself. Eira threw him a look, sighed, then faced Mister Duck. He quacked in concern, observing Lucario.

  “Uh, he’s probably fine?” Eira fidgeted for a moment, growing shy. “Anyway, I kinda did this summon because, well, I wanted to ask for a favor? Or two?”

  The duck tilted his head, listening. “Honestly, I’m not too bothered, knowing I’m a main character in a story world,” Eira went on. “If anything, I feel a little relieved? Like I know I’m dealing with a lot of awful things, but if — just tell me, I’m not going to have a grim ending, am I? Will I make it out happy and well? Will Lucario and the others I know?”

  The duck nodded without hesitation, his top hat falling off from the energetic motion. It splashed in the water.

  Eira let out a little exhale at the answer. “O-one more thing,” she added. “I know this is probably too much to ask, but — c-could you do something for Mother? Maybe bring her back in some way? Uh, and for Lucario’s trainer too, Adam? Or a-at least his Pokemon companions?”

  Mister Duck looked at Eira with a very, very confused look, as if she’d spoken in the language that didn’t exist. Then, as if struck with enlightenment, the duck scratched his feathered chin, before ducking into the pond. He reemerged with a stack of papers, all dry for some reason, rifling through them at speeds that shouldn’t be possible with duck wings.

  It paused every once in a while, looking at certain papers. Lucario had finally gotten ahold of himself by then, frowning at the strange papers. His brain swore there were no actual words on them, just scribbled lines and drawings of happy little cartoon ducks.

  The duck put a wing over his beak, scratching it, before letting the papers sink back into the water. He quacked and gave a look.

  Not a definite answer, but it was enough for Eira, her face brightening at the promise. It weirdly did something to sooth Lucario’s silent anger as well. “Thanks, it means a lot to me,” said Eira. “Uh, I guess you can go back now? Oh, and don’t forget the bread!”

  The duck had grabbed his top hat and put it back on, before noticing the stale bread floating about in the water. The duck looked very, very, very confused at the bread, making a puckered-up face that no beaked creature should be able to make.

  This confused Eira as well. “Y-you don’t want it?”

  The duck quacked. Lucario and Eira flinched as the quack reverberated through their skulls, imparting forbidden knowledge.

  Mister Duck let out another quack. In the distance, Lucario heard Gabite yell out as a swarm of sliced grapes burst out of the cottage rooftop, flying in an arc before raining over the duck. He ate one, before quacking a third time, drilling words into Lucario and Eira’s minds.

  The duck took his leave, diving back into the water. “Wait!” Eira called after him. “Why did the bread summon you then?”

  A quack came from under the water, making Eira jolt. She grew awkward afterward at the revelation Mister Duck must’ve had given her, pinching her snout. Lucario eyed the cottage for a while, concerned about possible sliced-grape-sized holes in the fridge and whatnot. Then blinked, finding a piece of paper in his paw.

  It had a title. “Omake 19: Conjured Duck,” muttered Lucario, before jolting at the following paragraphs of text describing his conversation with Eira about author summonings. He whipped his head between the pond and the paper.

  Eira peered at the paper in confusion, before blanching as well. Lucario flipped the paper and went to the last paragraph, reading this exact line that is being displayed here.

  A new line appeared under it, this one to be exact. “What in the Distortion World?” said Lucario, before growing extremely uncomfortable as he read his own dialogue in real time. Then read about himself reading said dialogue in real time. “Yeah, thanks, I hate this.”

  We know, Lucario, that’s the point.

  “Gah!” Lucario crumpled the paper at speeds faster than the current world record holder, throwing it into the pond.

  Duck is truly my favorite Pokemon species.

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