By the time I got a moment to myself, I was already wishing I hadn’t.

  After what felt like hours of being forced to show off my swollen and still-slicked pussy to Lheisatha while licking our cum off the floor – cum she made me spray – I was a ball of twisted and tangled emotions that I didn’t know had to deal with.

  I was burning up with shame and embarrassment at what Lheisatha had done to me and how easily I’d let her. I was furious; at her for what she was doing, and myself for not fighting back. I was scared; what would she do next? What could she do? Was this really going to be my life now? The unwilling fuck-pet of a kaiju-turned-human until my body finally gave out and I died?

  And on top of all of it, my pussy was wet again. I could feel Lheisatha through the bond, and she had thoroughly enjoyed the sight of me presenting myself to her while complying with her humiliating orders. I was throbbing, almost painfully, from the arousal she was sending down the bond. It was almost worse, knowing it wasn’t from me. It definitely wasn’t at all from me. Lheisatha was the only one getting off on this, and she was forcing me to get off on it too, entirely against my will.

  I hated everything about this. I fucking hated Lheisatha for what she was doing to me.

  I fucking hated myself more.

  Lheisatha was apparently content to let me stew, though I’m sure she could tell through the bond what I was feeling. She said hardly a word as she led me – crawling on hands and knees like she’d ordered – to the bathroom, where she gave me permission to stand in the shower while she thoroughly washed and groomed every inch of me.

  I was too lost in my own world to hate her hands on me. I wasn’t ready to deal with that on top of everything else. I closed my eyes and leaned into the warm spray of the shower. As the water trickled down across me, I let them sensation of Lheisatha’s hands on me drift to the forefront. If I felt what they were feeling, then I could almost convince myself they were actually my own hands. I could almost pretend I was alone, rexing in the shower after a punishingly long day. But after the shower, I’d crawl into bed, and sleep it off, and tomorrow would be a new day where none of this was real.

  But, of course that wasn’t true. I wasn’t creative enough to dream up something like this, and I definitely wasn’t lucky enough for it all be unreal. I sat on the seat of the toilet while Lheisatha blew my hair dry, and all too soon, she had finished, and my moment of escape was over. As she wrapped up the cord of my hairdryer, I slid off the toilet to kneel on the floor before her while I waited for whatever messed up whim she was going to abuse me with next.

  A twitch through the bond told me to follow her as she spun on her heel and left the bathroom. I crawled behind her, across the hallway and into the bedroom. When she stopped before the bed, I knelt back and waited.

  “Arms back, pet. And arch your back further,” Lheisatha corrected me. I adjusted my posture, and she nodded with approval. I hated how she made me dispy myself to her, but it was just as annoying that I couldn’t even remember everything about the position itself.

  Lheisatha smiled when I was exposed enough for her taste. She ran an approving cw across my breast and flicked at my nipple. I squeaked in surprise, and her smile grew even wider.

  “You’re exhausted, pet. Are you ready to earn some rest?”

  I nodded. I was. Oh, god, I was ready to leave this day behind me. And then my heart dropped, because I realized what she’d said. I was going to earn my rest.

  God, was she going to make me fuck her again? After I just finished cleaning up from the st time. And – oh, god. Not on my bed. A day ago, I didn’t care much about my bed at all, but now, it was the only thing I’d owned before Lheisatha destroyed the rest of my life. Couldn’t it stay mine just a minute longer? Did I really have to give that up too?

  “Shhh, pet. Shhhhh. Nothing like that. Not right now.” Lheisatha stroked my hair like she was soothing me, and I didn’t bother to tell her that I was much more relieved by knowing she wasn’t going to be making me rape myself for her pleasure again. That was definitely what calmed me down. Not her hand, or the small chills it was sending down my spine.

  “While you were sleeping, I spent some time with your Crystal,” Lheisatha said, and held up Serenity Paradox’s passive form. It looked like it always did – the same red crystal that tipped its staff form, capped in metal bands where fnges held it in pce. It glimmered at me in casual acknowledgement.

  Which – seriously? It wasn’t more affected by any of this? I knew Crystals were designed – or however the system worked – to interface smoothly with familiars, but this had to be a special case, right?

  “Shush, pet. Or would you like me to command your attention?” Lheisatha gripped the tip of my chin and forced my gaze up to meet hers. Fine, I could deal with Serenity Paradox ter. I nodded that I was paying attention.

  “After some observation, I can see that you aren’t using your abilities anywhere near as effectively as you should be. Serenity Paradox says you haven’t accessed any of its training functions in months.”

  She wasn’t wrong. Maybe other Chosen got a boot camp, or an instruction manual, or something, but I’d barely gotten a blood test and a case worker before being plugged into Dispatch and told to get started. Serenity Paradox had been able to teach me some of the basics, but after I started fighting kaiju, the st thing I had energy for was spending more time fighting imaginary kaiju who weren’t even threatening anything. My interactions with Yuki had left me with the impression that I probably just wasn’t a very powerful Chosen, and whoever messed up and picked me decided I wasn’t worth more investment. I didn’t think they were wrong.

  But… what did Lheisatha have in mind? And how did she even know about any more of this than I did?

  “Because the uplift gave me all the knowledge you have, pet. It’s not my fault you didn’t put any of it together. Though, we will fix that.”

  Lheisatha brandished Serenity Paradox before me.

  “I’ve prepared new lessons for you, and you will be completing them to my satisfaction. Before you begin, a few other things: first, your source is an infinite supply of power.” She held up my hand to stop my correction. “I know that’s not quite true. No one has ever run out, so you will make use of the resource you have been provided. Every second, for the rest of your life, you will be channeling magic into something. In combat, that will be offensive and defensive spellforms. Out of combat, that will be towards any task I set you. And if you have no other use for your throughput,” she looked at me pointedly for emphasis. “You will be sending it directly to me.”

  I blinked.

  “What – why? Isn’t that… really dangerous? If you overload, I mean? Um, Mistress,” I hastily added on.

  Lheisatha waved her hand. “You might remember that I can sustain substantially more power than you, pet. It’ll be fine. And as I don’t have a Source, I’ll be making use of yours.”

  Right, I knew that. Familiars didn’t have Sources, they had reserves, and it was a Chosen’s responsibility to keep them topped off, or the familiar could eventually die.

  That was a weakness.

  I could use that. Lheisatha was right, I had seen how cataclysmically rge her reserve was. But if that was all she had, then if she ran out…

  But that would only matter if she couldn’t pull from me. And she was right, I didn’t know much about maniputing my power. Beyond the handful of spellforms I knew, I’d never used it for anything else. This was a lesson pn I could get behind. It might be feeding Lheisatha in the short term, but it’d give me a tool I need to get free in the long term.

  I felt a disgruntled tug through the bond. Lheisatha was losing her patience with my wayward attention.

  “I’m sorry, Mistress,” I murmured, which she accepted with a warning gre.

  “You need to have your Source channeling until it’s beyond second nature, so you’ll be starting your second lesson at the same time. You aren’t infusing yourself with power, at all. That’s unacceptable, but I can almost overlook it because it seems you were never even taught the technique. So, tonight, Serenity Paradox is going to ensure you know how. And once you’ve finished your lessons, you can sleep through the rest of the night.”

  Fine. That was fine. New techniques would only help me escape. I’d learn everything she put in front of me, as best I could. I was going to be the best Chosen Lheisatha could make me. And then I’d make sure she regretted it.

  A smile ghosted across Lheisatha’s lips, and I winced. She might have heard some of that. I couldn’t feel anything from her side of the bond, but she seemed better at controlling what she sent down it, so that didn’t mean anything.

  Before she could say anything about my brand-new mutiny, my stomach growled loudly. Right, I was starving. I needed the sleep, but I needed food just as badly, and I probably wouldn’t really be able to focus on learning without something in my stomach.

  “Consider than an extra incentive. Your first goal is sustaining yourself with power.”

  “What? You can’t – “

  “Shhh.” Lheisatha interrupted me with a cw on my lips. “Of course you can. If you can heal yourself with magic, you can feed yourself with magic. Cells need energy from somewhere.”

  Maybe, but that if was doing a lot of work. I’d never healed myself – healing people was supposed to be really hard, so I’d never bothered learning more – and I was deeply skeptical of Lheisatha’s cims. But, if she was convinced and Serenity Paradox signed off on it…

  Whatever. I’d give it a try. I could always try begging for food if it didn’t work. At some point, Lheisatha would have to choose between feeding me and letting her new pet die.

  “Mmmn, no. I won’t tolerate you giving up, pet.”

  Lheisatha waved her hand, and another strap of silk grew out of the air, connected in the center by a bck ball of carapace.

  “Mouth open,” Lheisatha commanded, and my mouth opened without thinking. She stuck the ball in my mouth and reached past me to connect the straps behind my head. And like that, I was gagged.

  “Mmmnf,” I tried. My tongue could move a bit, but the gag was rge enough that I couldn’t form sounds around it. And, I noticed, the holes in the center that let me breath through the carapace were also letting out saliva to drip down my breasts.

  Fine. No begging for food, then. And the gag would probably be uncomfortable to sleep in, but I was tired enough to give it a try anyways.

  But, of course, that wasn’t embarrassing enough. Lheisatha pulled me to my feet, and before I knew it, I was wrapped from shoulder to hip and from thigh to ankle in thick, unyielding bands of silk. I tried wiggling, and all I succeeded in doing was unbancing myself. Thankfully, Lheisatha caught me before I fell to the floor, which I doubted I’d be able to raise myself from.

  “Comfortable, pet?” she asked with a grin on her face. I gred at her but didn’t bother saying anything. That was answer enough.

  “Good. But I don’t want your attention wandering any more than it already has. So, I have some more motivation for you.”

  She held up Serenity Paradox before me, and I stared at it suspiciously. I wasn’t sure what more motivation Lheisatha could coax from my Crystal, but I doubted I’d enjoy it. So far, she’d preferred sticks to carrots.

  I felt a twist of magic from Lheisatha through the bond, and some sort of spellform activated inside Serenity Paradox. It started vibrating in Lheisatha’s hand, enough to make a furious buzz.

  My eyes widened. She wouldn’t.

  Lheisatha pushed me back onto the bed and lifted my bound legs up into the air. That was why she’d left my pussy uncovered - it wasn’t just for her perverted pleasure. It was also for her perverted pleasure.

  I groaned as the rapidly-heating Crystal slid inside me. I hadn’t been ready for it – not at all, and I was tired and hungry, but the vibrations Serenity Paradox was putting out were already starting to loosen me up. Fuck – and then it hit the perfect spot inside me, right where I put my own fingers when I was ready to cum. I could feel pressure bursting up inside me. I was going to cum. Soon. I was going to cum, because Lheisatha was fucking me with my Crystal.

  “Ah, I do love that look on your face,” Lheisatha purred and stroked my cheek. “But I want you to focus, pet.” A wide band of silk appeared in her hands, and she leaned down to wrap it over the top of my head, blindfolding me.

  I screamed into the gag. I could barely feel anything because of the bands covering me, and now I couldn’t see anything, either. All that was left was the vibrations of Serenity Paradox inside me, and the heightened sensation was driving me wild.

  “The spellform Serenity Paradox manifested will go dormant when you connect a channel through your Crystal and into your body. And it will only turn off then. Better get used to channeling in your sleep, pet.” Lheisatha whispered in me ear. I screamed again when she pinched one of my nipples through the silk, and then jerked from surprise as – fuck! – the movement shifted Serenity inside me and it hit a new spot perfectly, and now I was about to – I was going to –

  I wailed into my gag as I came, the sensation too intense to stop. As I came, I thrashed against my bonds, jostling Serenity Paradox more and more, ripping more screams out of me. Even when I finally got my body under control, I could still feel another orgasm waiting in the wings, ready to pounce.

  God, I wasn’t sure I could take that. My cunt was throbbing painfully, and the sensation from Serenity Paradox was way too strong to enjoy. I sniffled and moaned again, this time from pain.

  Focus. I needed to focus. I needed to get my throughput connected to Serenity Paradox. Then I could work on whatever my actual lesson was, and finally sleep. Hopefully because I wanted to, not because I came until I fainted.

  I whimpered and got to work.

  It was going to be a long night.