Issue 7: Confoundment

  The next day passes smoothly, and Venessa heads to bed after being wished goodnight by Annelise and Cory. Yet, her dreams are anything but comforting. She sees herself treading water in the middle of a vast expanse. Maybe an ocean? But despite her best efforts to stay afloat, Venessa finds herself sinking deeper and deeper into a blue world. She can’t see the bottom and feels herself losing air. She begins hearing voices and seeing glimpses of a place much different and distant from Earth. Then, the voices cease. Another voice, clear, sweetened, menacing, and familiar, speaks.

  Delirium: You don’t know what you’re doing.

  Venessa tries to speak but can’t. She sees images of bloody wars and worlds destroyed. A bright blue light seems to tinge it all.

  Delirium: They’re using you.

  Venessa looks around. Everything is bloodstained. A world, the world where she saw a glowing white fluid rotting the ground, is breaking at the seams. She hears someone cry out in agony and runs toward them. Before she arrives, she’s knocked to the ground by a force unseen.

  Delirium: You don’t know what you’re doing. You’re disposable.

  Venessa sees flashes of a great number of people of different races, human and alien, mournfully laid to rest. A group of them looks eerily similar to a clique at her school.

  Delirium: Don’t be naive, they do not care about you, your life,...

  Venessa feels light-headed and nauseous. Her dream flashes back to the ocean. Black spots are blocking her vision.

  Delirium: They don’t care whether you live or die. You have served his purpose.

  Venessa wakes up gasping for breath. Avonari rushes into the room.

  Avonari: Venessa! You’re awake!

  Venessa looks around.

  Repetition in the back of her head: You don’t know what you’re doing.

  Avonari: You okay?

  Venessa nods quickly: Yeah. Not awake yet, I guess.

  Avonari: Well, good. I’m gonna go downstairs for breakfast. It’s pancakes, which I’ve heard are really good! C’mon!

  Venessa groggily stands up from her bed and heads downstairs. Josie and Jesse are watching Descendants. Josie is singing along to all of the songs. Jesse doesn’t look happy to be watching the movie, but he grins at Venessa and gives her a weak thumbs-up. Venessa laughs. Cory greets her as she heads into the dining room.

  Cory:(sarcastically) You seem to be in a good mood this morning.

  Venessa shrugs: I didn’t sleep well last night. Maybe I’ll take a nap later.

  Cory nods: Well, you’ll have to do your homework first.

  The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

  Before Venessa can groan in protest, Cory interrupts.

  Cory:(sarcastically) Ugh! I know! So boring! I can assure you that no one in this house has ever died from homework.

  Venessa: That doesn’t mean it isn’t painful!

  Cory shrugs: It’s part of life. Now, go eat breakfast and start working on your algebra.

  Venessa steps into the kitchen.

  In the back of her head: You don’t know what you’re doing.

  Venessa(mentally): Shut up!

  A couple of the older teenagers sit and giggle together across the table.

  Venessa: What?

  Lila: You haven’t sat down. You’ve just stared at the table for five straight minutes!

  They burst out laughing again.

  Annelise enters: Girls, let’s give Venessa a break. She’s only been here a week.

  Lila: I’m sure I wasn’t so confused when I came.

  Annelise: Apologize.

  Lila: What?

  Annelise smiles: I think you heard me the first time. I think you know that comment was unnecessary.

  Lila sighs: Sorry,...Venessa? Is that right?

  In the back of Venessa’s head: You’re disposable.

  Lila: Hello?

  Venessa snaps out of it: Yeah, that’s right. It’s fine.

  Lila nods and begins eating her breakfast. Venessa’s hand that is resting on the table trembles slightly.

  Lila: You sure you’re okay? I’m really sorry. I was just joking around.

  Venessa: No…no, it’s okay. I know you were only joking.

  Lila: Good luck…with being grounded and everything.

  Venessa nods: I’m counting down the days.

  Lila: I’m sure.

  The group finishes their breakfast and heads out to school. Venessa stares at her food for a few seconds before finishing it off.

  Annelise: You seem a bit…off. I heard you tell Cory that you didn’t get enough sleep. Are you feeling okay?

  Venessa: Yeah, I’m good.

  In the back of her head: They don’t care about you or your life…

  Venessa(thinks it’s mentally, but doesn’t realize she’s saying it out loud): Stop it!

  Annelise looks up from cleaning off the table: What?

  Venessa glances at Annelise, who now seems slightly terrifying. The mix of colors in her hazel eyes seems sharp.

  Venessa(in her mind): Pull yourself together, Venessa!

  Annelise: Did you say something?

  Venessa shakes her head: No, I…was just talking to myself. (half-jokingly) I’m weird in more ways than one. You should know that by now.

  Annelise smiles slightly: Well, just let me know if you need any help, okay?

  Venessa nods and moves slightly away.

  Venessa(to herself mentally): It’s all in your head. It’s all in your head. It’s all in your head…

  Repetition: They’re using you.

  Venessa hurries over to change into her dayclothes and do her homework, and finds a bit of distraction(and frustration) with her algebra.

  Cory: Need help?

  Venessa: Oh, yeah! If you can understand this keyboard-smash, please help!

  Cory laughs: I’ll help you, but I’m not gonna do your homework for you.

  Venessa: Ugh! You know what I mean! Uuum…do you know how to solve a quadratic…

  Repetition: You don’t know what you’re doing.

  Venessa:...A…quadratic equation.

  Cory nods: Sure. So, there’s a specific formula for this…

  They work on algebra for a while. Venessa then heads back to her room and reads The Silmarillion for a couple of hours.