AnnouncementHey, everyone! It's been three months and two days since I st posted. I know many people have been curious about the ck of the update, and a few have reached out to check if I'm okay. I also know I owe you all an apology for the dey. I'm genuinely so sorry for my impromptu hiatus. I had a lot of stuff happen these past few months, and everything combined lead to me getting pretty bad mental health wise. I started writing seriously in September of 2024, and in that time I've written three books totaling somewhere north of half a million words. For ck of a better term, I was burnt out. I've been seeing a therapist, and she's helped me get back into the swing of things, to rekindle the spark that is my love of writing. So I'm back. I hope this chapter is everything that you all hoped for. Content Warnings

  SpoilerNon depicted sex

  [colpse]

  I look out to see the fancy pickup truck I remember seeing in Paige’s garage. I wonder why she switched cars. She races out of her door and pulls me into a tight hug. I look up at her face and just stare for a moment. I should kiss her.

  I lean forward and press my lips to Paige’s, and enjoy the soft groan that escapes her. She smiles down at me, and pulls me tightly against her, her fingers tracing the edge of where my tank top touches my skin

  “You look absolutely stunning.” Paige purrs into my ear. “I’m genuinely so lucky to call myself yours.”

  A soft blush touches my cheeks, and I choose to hide my face against Paige’s neck, rather than let her see the results of her words. “You’re really pretty too.” I say mely. “I’m really excited for tonight.”

  “Me too, cutie.” She responds with a grin. “I hope you like what I have pnned. “I’ll enjoy it no matter what, love.” I reply.

  “Then let’s go!” She says brightly.

  She opens the door for me, and I climb into the passenger seat of the truck. She starts it, and quickly reaches over to grab my hand. I try to give her a smile, but one doesn’t appear, so I force it.

  She smiles back before driving away. A soft sense of mencholy touches my brain as I casually stroke my girlfriend’s knuckles. My gaze falls on the passing buildings as we drive to wherever Paige is taking me.

  “Emmy?” Paige asks.

  I turn to look at her. “Huh?” Her face falls ever so slightly. “Sorry, I zoned out a bit.”

  “Are you okay?” She asks, worry on her face.

  “Yeah…” I reply with a forced smile, before shaking my head. “No. I don’t know… I just got a little sad. No big deal.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?” She asks.

  I sigh softly. “I would if I could… I don’t know what made me sad. Just kinda happened…”

  “Maybe you’re on your period.” She says with a slightly teasing tone.

  “Yeah,” I chuckle. “As if…”

  “Why do you say it like that?” She asks.

  “Like what?” I reply.

  “I don’t know…” She says softly. “Like you’d be excited if it was your period.”

  “I mean,” I say with a slight ugh. “Yeah, obviously. I’m always envious of stuff only cis girls can do.”

  Paige just stares at me bnkly for a moment. “You’re joking, right?”

  “No…?” I say questioningly, feeling very confused.

  “You can have a period, Emmy.” She says with a grin. “Not the bleeding, obviously, but you might get cramps and have your mood affected and such. It’s one of the effects of HRT.”

  “Really?” I ask excitedly. “Wait, why do you know that?”

  “I started doing research once I started crushing on you.” She says with a bashful smile. “I wanted to be well versed in trans stuff so that I could support you.”

  Tears prick at the corners of my eyes and I have to struggle not to wipe them away, and take my makeup with them. “You’re so sweet…” I say softly. “I… I’m so gd we’re together.”

  “Me too, Emmy.” She says with a cute blush. “I want to be the best girlfriend I possibly can be for you.”

  The pricks of tears turn into full on ugly crying. I stare down at my knees for a moment, before I feel Paige’s arms around me. She pulls me close, while pnting kiss after kiss on my cheek.

  “Oh, Emmy…” She murmurs.

  “I’m sorry…” I whimper.

  “Don’t be.” She breathes. “Just breathe. You’re okay. I’m here.”

  I rest against her, and take multiple breaths, before finally trying to speak. “I feel like I don’t deserve you…”

  “What could possibly make you think that?” She asks.

  “So many reasons…” I whisper. “Let’s not think about it right now… If that’s okay.”

  “Yeah, that’s okay.” She replies instantly. “Whatever makes you comfortable.”

  “Thank you.” I respond meekly.

  “You don’t have to thank me, silly.” She says with a giggle. “I’m your girlfriend! I’ll always do what I can to make you feel better.”

  I force another smile, and rub her knuckles gently. “You really are amazing.”

  “You are too.” She says with a grin. “Ready for me to get back on the road?”

  I look up for the first time to see that she’s pulled off onto the shoulder. “Yeah, please.”

  “You got it, babe!” She says with a grin before resuming driving.

  I’m so gd we’re together… The words bounce around in my head, nearly giving me a headache. Why do they feel so hollow… I don’t have to think about it for much longer as soon enough we’re pulling into a parking lot.

  “Hope you like Italian.” She says with a grin as she parks the car.

  “I do.” I reply easily. “Date Orchard has some great food… Although I haven’t eaten here since before I stopped eating meat. I’ll have to find something new.”

  “What did you used to get?” She asks as we walk towards the door.

  “Chicken Alfredo.” I say with a bashful smile.

  “Why not just get it without the chicken?” She asks. “Or sub it for broccoli or something.”

  “That’s a good idea.” I say, and squeeze her hand. “Thank you.”

  “Of course, love.” She says as we approach the host stand. “Two for Paige.”

  “Got you right here.” The man says with a smile. “Follow me.”

  We walk together behind him to a small booth tucked away in the corner of the restaurant. Paige takes the wall, so I sit opposite her, and tuck my bag into the corner.

  “Here are your menus, your server will be right with you.”

  “Thank you.” Paige says gleefully before turning to me. “Our first date.” She says with a wistful smile. “I can barely believe it’s actually happening!”

  “Oh?” I ask, a little confused. “What do you mean?”

  She sighs softly. “I’ve just… I’ve been crushing on you for a while, actually…”

  “How long?” I ask.

  “From the first time I saw you…” She says, her face flushing slightly. “Back when you showed us that song, before May outed you in front of Aiden.”

  “I…” I stammer. “That was before you two broke up…”

  “I know…” She says softly. “Her outing you was a lot of why I left her… but it wasn’t the only reason… I’m sorry.”

  I look at her face, her eyes dipped towards the table. She had feelings for me when she was still dating May… when I was still dating Holly… “Don’t be.” I say, and lean over to squeeze her hand. “We’re here now, and that’s what matters.”

  Would we be if Holly hadn’t done what she did? Paige said she thinks Holly actually loved me… If she had just told me about her pn, and how she abandoned it… Would I have stayed with her? I gulp as Paige meets my eyes.

  “Want to get an appetizer?” She asks.

  “Sure.” I say, trying to force the thoughts away. “Whatever you want.”

  “How about mozzarel sticks?” She asks. “They’re vegetarian and delicious.”

  I smile at her gentle easy way of speaking. She knows I’m unhappy… and she’s trying to help… Why don’t I feel like I deserve this? “Sounds great.” I reply.

  Before I can say more, a man steps up to the table. “Hi.” He says brightly. “My name is Ryan, and I’ll be your server today. Can I get you started with some drinks?”

  “Just a co for me, thanks.” Paige says, her eyes not leaving mine.

  I break contact to look up at Ryan. “A strawberry lemonade, please.” I say softly.

  “Sounds good.” He says with a gentle smile. “Can I get you started with any appetizers, or do you know what you want to eat?”

  “Mozzarel sticks for sure.” Paige speaks up quickly. “And I know what I want, do you?”

  Is there something else behind that question? I gulp again as I meet her gaze. No… She’s not like that… “Yes, I do.” I say quickly. “Can I have Fettuccine Alfredo with broccoli?”

  “Good choice!” Ryan says brightly. “And for you?”

  “Eggpnt parm, please.” She says, and passes him her menu.

  “Sounds good.” He says as he takes my menu from the table. “I’ll be right back with bread and your drinks.”

  Neither of us speaks immediately as he leaves, so I end up just staring at her. She’s so pretty… So sweet… “How’d you meet your friends?” I ask. “None of them are in school with us, right?”

  She lets out a small giggle. “RIght. I met them at a Legends and Lore game at a game store. That first game was so much fun. We pyed through all the sessions, and then didn’t want to stop hanging out, so we just moved to my pce and stopped paying.”

  “That’s really cool.” I say with a smile.

  “What about you?” She asks. “With your brother? You two aren’t actually reted, right?”

  “Yeah.” I say with a smile. “Caleb and I have been close for so long… Since we were seven. Over time we just got closer and closer, but never in a romantic way. He’s just… my brother. I’m his sister. If either of us ever needed help, the other would drop everything for it.”

  “That’s so sweet.” Paige says with a grin. “I’m so happy you have that type of retionship with someone.”

  “Me too.” I reply happily. “I will admit, there was a time I thought I was going to lose him.”

  “When you came out?” She asks.

  “Yeah.” I reply. “He wa-”

  “Hey there.” Ryan says as he pces down our drinks, a basket of bread, and our mozzarel sticks. “Here's everything. Your entrees should be out shortly.”

  “Thank you.” I reply with a smile.

  “Not a problem.” He responds. “Is there anything else I can get you?”

  “I think we’re good.” Paige says quickly, her eyes remaining on me.

  “Sounds good.” He replies. “I’ll be back soon with your food.”

  After he walks away, Paige smiles at me. “You were saying?”

  “Right.” I say, as I dip a mozzarel stick in marinara and devour it. “At first he wasn’t sure what to make of it. He said he needed some time to think about it…”

  “I’m sorry.” She replies.

  “It’s fine.” I respond after taking a bite of bread. “He apologized. Said it was stupid of him to even need time to think of it. Said I was his sister, and that was all that matters.”

  “I’m gd he came around.” She grins.

  “Me too…” I say softly. “Um. If it’s okay for me to ask… How’d you and May breaking up go?”

  She lets out a ugh. “Not great, if I’m being honest.”

  “Oh?” I question.

  “She didn’t take it well.” She says somberly. “Was very unhappy I was dumping her over you.”

  “You told her…?”

  “Not that I like you.” She says quickly. “Just that it was because of how she was treating you.”

  “I…” I stammer.

  “Speaking of May…” Paige says coyly. “Can we take a selfie together?”

  I tilt my head to the side. “A selfie?”

  “She still stalks my socials.” She expins. “Pluuuuuusssss… I want a photo of us together. Many, if that’s okay.”

  I gulp and nod at her. “Yes, it's perfectly fine.”

  “Yay!” She nearly shouts, before moving around to my side of the booth.

  I nestle in close to her as she holds up her phone, and give the most genuine smile I can to the camera. She takes a few, and I decide to py around a little bit. The next photo has my lips on her jaw, the next has them on her cheek, and the st has us locked in a kiss.

  “I love you, Emmy.” She whispers.

  “I love you too, Paige.” I reply, holding her gaze. “I love you…”

  ?????????????

  “So, ready for our next destination?” Paige giggles at me as we walk to her truck.

  “Absolutely.” I respond, that same sense of longing echoing in my chest. “Where are we going?”

  “You’ll see.” She says with a giggle as she opens my door for me. “Hop in.”

  I climb into the truck and watch as she walks around and gets into the driver's seat. As soon as we’re back on the road, I reach over and take her hand. She doesn’t speak while we drive, so I just y back and listen to the music. God… I’m being such a horrible girlfriend… Paige deserves better…

  She pulls onto the highway, and we drive for a while, her thumb continuing to trace around my knuckles. Eventually we pull off an exit I don’t recognize, and follow a small road up into the canyon.

  The silence continues to weigh on me as we drive further and further up. After another few minutes, I cannot bear its weight any longer.

  “I love you.” I blurt out, the words nearly dying on my tongue.

  Paige swerves slightly but regains her pathing quickly. “Emmy…” She says softly. “I love you too. So fucking much.” Her voice wavers slightly as she says it. “Where did that come from?”

  “I don’t know…” I admit. “I just… I’ve been feeling so shitty all night. Like, I haven’t done enough for you. Like I haven’t been giving you the first date you deserve.”

  “Emmy…” She whispers, her grip on my hand tightening. “It’s not about giving me a date I deserve. It’s about having fun together. Being together. Spending time with each other. I’ve had a great time so far, and I imagine it’s about to get much better.”

  “Oh?” I say, trying to force some sort of excitement into my voice. Fake it ‘til you make it.

  “We’re basically here.” She says coyly as she pulls off the road and onto a small trail.

  She drives up the small trail for another few moments before pulling left into a small dirt clearing and doing a u-turn.

  “What is this?” I ask, looking over at her.

  “Come see.” She says with a grin.

  I climb out of the car into the twilit clearing, and follow as she walks to the bed of the truck, pulls the gate down and retracts the bed cover. Beneath it is what looks like an air mattress covered in bnkets with a few pillows on it. Holy crap…

  “Paige…” I whisper, my breath long since taken away.

  “Surprise!” She says with a grin. “I figured we could cuddle up under the bnkets and do some stargazing!”

  A tear trickles down my cheek, and my breath catches in my throat as I stare unbelieving at this amazing, wonderful, perfect girl. “I d-don’t d-deserve you…” I stammer.

  She immediately pulls me close to her, and pnts a kiss on my forehead. “Hush, my love.” She says kindly. “You deserve the world.”

  I stand there buried in my girlfriend’s embrace for a few more heartbeats before I finally manage to pull myself away. She looks down at me, her eyes twinkling in the fading sunlight, a bright loving smile on her face.

  “Let’s get to cuddling.” I say through ragged breaths. “I w-want to be close to you.”

  She grins, and climbs easily onto the bed before pulling me up behind her. We kick our shoes off and leave them at the foot of the mattress before climbing beneath the covers. My body falls naturally against hers, and she pulls me close, her fingers cing into my hair.

  An image of Holly on her bed, hair spread out like a golden halo fshes into my mind. What is wrong with me…? Why am I so broken…? I have this wonderful, sweet, perfect girl right here, who wants nothing more than to love me… and all I can think about is the girl who tore my heart out…

  The phantom touch of her lips on mine causes me to shudder as I remember the first time we kissed. Paige deserves better than this, better than me… I need to get my mind off her. I need to focus on Paige, on my girlfriend. I need to move on.

  The image of Holly’s naked form above me as she climbs into my p pops into mind. I need to do something. I need to do anything to move forward with my life. Anything… Without another thought, I sit up and roll onto Paige’s p.

  “Emmy?!” She says, clearly startled by my sudden movement.

  “Shhhhh…” I hush, before pressing my lips to hers.

  Her response is immediate as she tugs me close, her tongue grazing against my lip. A soft groan escapes my mouth, which I gdly part to make room for her warmth. She willingly gives it, our bodies and tongues writhing in kind.

  After too long and far too soon we part, our breaths coming quickly and heated. “I want you.” She says quickly, her hands tracing down my back.

  I swallow deeply. I may not be over Holly, but I’m not going to let her stop me from being happy. Paige deserves this… I deserve this… “I’m yours.” I say, before pulling my tank top off.

  ?????????????

  Paige’s warmth is more than welcome against my skin. Her body caressing mine in every way I never knew I needed as we cuddle together and stare up at the stars.

  “I love you.” She says, her breaths finally slowing.

  “I love you too.” I reply, and lean up to kiss her cheek. “Did you, um… Did you enjoy it?”

  “God yes!” She says brightly. “That was… amazing, incredible, life changing. Take your pick.”

  “It couldn’t have been that good.” I reply with a giggle.

  “Was it not for you?” She asks, a hint of worry in her voice.

  “It was.” I agree. “I just… I have a hard time believing that I could be as good as a real girl.”

  A squeak escapes my lips as Paige rolls halfway on top of me, pinning me to the mattress. “You are a real girl, Emmy.” She says firmly.

  “But I-” I try to speak.

  “Trans or cis,” She says. “You are a real girl. Don’t ever say otherwise. Don’t ever think otherwise. You are a girl, Emmy. A girl I happen to love more than anything.”

  “I’m sorry.” I whimper. “I just… This is all happening so quickly… I guess I’m just not used to it yet. Used to being seen. Not just by your eyes…”

  “Don’t apologize.” She says softly. “You have nothing to apologize for. I’m sorry for being all intense about it… I just can’t stand the woman I love seeing herself as somehow lesser due to the circumstances of her birth.”

  “I really don’t deserve you…” I whisper.

  “You really, really do.” She says with a grin.

  “Come back and cuddle me, please.” I say, returning her smile with one that is mostly genuine.

  “With pleasure!” She says excitedly, and tucks me back into her.

  I stare up at the sky, enjoying the clear view of the stars without as much light pollution. After a few moments, I raise my arm. “See that?”

  “What am I looking for?” She asks.

  “That really bright star.” I say with a smile.

  “Yeah,” She replies. “I think I see it.”

  “That’s Three Sgr.” I expin. “It’s a part of Sagittarius. You can kind of see the Milky Way behind it.”

  “That’s so cool.” She says, sounding genuine.

  “To the right there is Scorpius.” I say, pointing a little to the right. “Those three stars in a line are the head and pedipalps, then you follow the line down to the tail.”

  “How do you know all this stuff?” She asks, a soft delight in her voice.

  “It’s just fascinating.” I reply quickly. “I love learning about these. I love talking about them too.”

  “Then please,” She says with a giggle. “Enlighten me.”

  “Look past the head of Scorpius and you’ll see Libra.” I say, continuing to point. “It’s five stars arranged in a wonky box with an open lid.”

  “Interesting…” She says softly, her eyes tracing the sky.

  “Beyond that is Virgo which has thirteen stars and looks kinda like a four legged spider.”

  “I think I see it.” She says happily.

  “Above Scorpius is Orphiuchus, which isn’t that important, but above it is Hercules.” I continue pointing as I speak.

  “I swear,” She says contentedly. “I could listen to you talk about stars all night.”

  “Do you want me to?” I ask, tilting my head up to look at her.

  She leans down to look at me, her eyes lit with care, before pressing her lips to my in a soft kiss. “Always, my love. Always.”