I woke up face-down in the sand.
I didn’t fall asleep there.
I don’t even remember leaving the House.
There was a mop in my hand when I blacked out.
Now there’s… sunscreen in my shoe?
The sun is blinding. The ocean smells like bleach.
And worst of all?
My uniform is gone.
I’ve been forcibly re-outfitted in a standard-issue two-piece.
Nothing scandalous. Just… functional. Bright blue. Standard House branding on the hip.
“Beach Mode Activated! ??”
It says that on the waistband. In Comic Sans.
I look like a background extra in a cursed dating sim.
My name tag is still clipped to the top, though. Which is humiliating in a very specific way.
At first, I thought this was a punishment.
Like maybe Enma snapped again and launched us all into a punishment dimension.
But then I saw the others.
Enma’s here.
So is Nozomi.
And Miren.
None of them looked confused.
They were just… existing.
Like they’ve done this before.
No one asked questions.
No one asked where we are.
They just set up towels and started sending postcards like that’s normal.
POSTCARD: ENMA
Day 1:
They gave me a swimsuit.
I gave it back.
In pieces.
Himeko told me to “relax.”
So I punched a seagull.
It deserved it. It looked at me funny.
If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
Speaking of which…
Why do they always stare?
Tiny little binocular eyes.
Always watching.
Judging.
I eat one suspicious popsicle off the sand and suddenly I’m the problem?
They don’t even blink.
They just scream.
All day.
Every time I look at them, another one lands.
I punched one out of the air this morning.
Mid-squawk.
It didn’t even bleed.
It exploded into feathers like it was waiting for me.
They know I’m here.
They took my sandwich.
They took Miren’s hat.
They tried to take Xyntra—
but she bit them back.
I’ve made peace with the sand.
I’ve declared war on the sky.
Himeko said I’m not allowed to burn the clouds “without clearance.”
So I’m working on a workaround.
Koko keeps feeding them.
She knows what she’s doing...
The others?
Miren’s been talking to a jellyfish for three hours.
I think it’s winning.
Nozomi walked into the ocean this morning.
She’s still in there.
Amaranth tried to bless the water.
The water refused.
Anyway.
I’m having a great time.
Don’t send help.
Send meat.
I found it half-buried under a juice box. Folded, glittery, soaked through with ocean spray.
Enma’s handwriting, somehow. Angry block letters.
The ink smelled like barbecue.
After reading it, I had three questions:
Why did she punch a seagull?
Why was the seagull full of feathers instead of bones?
Why is the sky watching us?
I tried to confront her. She told me I was “ruining the ambiance” and then walked into the ocean with a stick of jerky clenched between her teeth like a cigar.
I think this is going to be a long week.
End of Log.
Sand in everything.
Still no towel.
10/10 would rather be mopping.