I am borned as second child in my family.

  My brother, just call him Ming here. Ming is 14 years rger than me. when I was borned, he is a middle school student.

  He was facing his exam to go to high school, but at the same time he needed to take care of his mother and new sister.

  That made a young boy frustrated and exhausted. I don't even know why I bmed myself many years because those things I can't control.

  He was ignored by parents after a baby joined this family. I guess long-time depressed and not a good quility life made him sick in the coming years.

  2008, Ming was studing in a college. My mother is a housewife, my father is a normal worker within low sary at the moment.

  I know they gave him a tiny bit money as his study and living fees. That kinda poverty let him miss the st chance to find out his body's issue.

  Ming was a strong boy who loves football and basketball. He started with feeling pain of his left leg, and he told parents then they went to hospital. But no one found he's sick.

  After several monthes he was too painful to fall asleep. Then he tried massage to release but it not even work but also make the situation badly.

  When we finally realise he got cancer, everything is too te to take back.

  He underwent amputation, numerous rounds of radiation and chemotherapy.

  But he finally left us, at the age of 23.

  I SUFFERED TOO MUCH FROM HIS DEATH.

  I am a witness of how cancer took his life. Even I was only 9 years old.

  He died in hospital, I was taking care by a friend of my mom. They stopped me to see him when he was dying and after he died. I only saw his grave one year ter.

  I was arguing with my parents when I know my dear brother passed away. Just because I wanna see him at the end of his life. I wanna say good bye, but they were afriad I will be scared of his died face.

  There has no way to do anything when a 9 years girl lost her brother.

  I also feel that's the worst start of my darkest life.

  Ming I think you know, all the time I hope I could die instead of you.

  For a long period, I thought my birth leads you to death.

  I cried thousands of times after you go.

  NO ONE HAS EVER TOLD A 9 YEARS OLD GIRL HOW TO FACE HER CLOSEST BROTHER'S DEATH.

  I saved all the pain to myself. I have no one to cried on.

  Parents suffered a lot, so I had to behave like I'm happy to avoid reminding them of their lost.

  Two months before Ming died, he told me to 'take care of our parents'.

  I did it and tried to compromise anytime whatever parents did to me.

  I growed up with all those heavy painful memories and I don't even know that's just a start of darkness.