FEViR

  Sage gres at the temple of Nateria. Even after Northly's expnation, they can't find it in themself to like the pce, and Lex doesn't exactly seem fond either. He stands a step behind them and drags his feet more and more as they approach.

  "Let's get this over with," they say and cross the threshold.

  Lex doesn't.

  "That nun isn't here today," they point out, turning back to where Lex's feet are rooted to the spot.

  "I know. That's not it," he says. "It's…" He darts his eyes down to his breasts.

  Oh, right. "The libido?"

  "Yeah." He flushes. Always cute. "If that same thing happens, I won't be of any use."

  They frown. "Let's see how it goes. If you colpse like before, I'll drag you out and go in alone."

  Lex hesitates, then nods. They both hold their breath as he takes the step.

  "Anything?"

  "I feel fine," he replies, and takes another step. "Maybe it was that nun who caused it."

  "Maybe," they say.

  For the first time, they properly take in the inside of the temple. It is, in a word, awesome. It occurs to them how desperate they must have been to reconnect with Lex that they missed this.

  The walls are polished marble in carefully selected shades so that the carvings that stretch from the floor to the ceiling feel alive. Every inch of the entrance brims with life. Creatures great and small. Magical lights bathe the area in a warm glow, perhaps to sidestep the need for windows and fill more surface with stone.

  "Wow," they say.

  "How long must this have taken?" Lex asks. He wasn't paying attention the st time they were here either.

  A nun bustles up, head bowed. When she reaches them, her fingers fsh in signs Sage doesn't understand.

  "If you're trying to kick me out, Priestess Northly said it's fine as long as I don't interfere with the rec—" Their voice fails as the nun raises her head, shaking it furiously.

  "Sister Miriam?" Lex says.

  Her ears are pointed.

  Sage swallows as acrid bile rises to their throat. They breath, reckoning with what they see. "Is this your punishment?" they ask. "They turned you into an elf and took your voice?"

  She nods. Her cheeks are flushed.

  "I think," Lex says, "we need to talk to Northly."

  Sister Miriam beckons them to follow her, apparently having given up on sign.

  As they pass through the corridors, the animal carvings are no longer beautiful. All Sage can see is the way the stone was chipped away, one sliver at a time, until only the part deemed useful remained.

  "This is sick," they mumble to Lex.

  "No kidding," Lex replies.

  Even the doors are filled with carvings, though they're made from a light coloured wood rather than stone.

  Sister Miriam raps on the door with her knuckles.

  "One moment," sounds from behind it in Northly's voice.

  Sage has half a mind to barge through, but they settle for digging their nails into their palms, and bouncing on the balls of their feet.

  One moment passes, and Northly pulls open the door. "Oh, Sister Miriam, what—" She breaks off as Sister Miriam's hands fsh in lightning fast signs.

  "Human Lex, Elf Sage, how lovely to see you again so soon," Northly says as she notices them where they hover, awkwardly, behind Sister Miriam.

  "What kind of sick fucks are you to come up with punishments like this?" Sage hadn't meant to spit the words, but they do.

  Northly pauses. "It was deemed a suitable method for facilitating admonition and repentance."

  "You turned her into the thing she hates!" As Sage's voice reverberates through the hall, amplified by the stone despite the carvings distributing the sound waves, they realise that this is why the punishment feels so utterly, revoltingly wrong. She may be a bigot, but to change her body as punishment... Fuck, maybe her soul, at least in her own eyes if she believes the crap she was spewing. It makes Sage sick.

  Lex wraps an arm around their waist. They itch to fling him off and away, so they can lunge at Northly and force her at the point of a bde to turn the stupid fucking nun back.

  "Yes," Northly says. All emotion has left her expression. What remains is only hardness.

  She had seemed so normal when they ate together. When they shared the same dishes.

  Sister Miriam signs frantically, Northly turns her cool gaze on her until she finishes.

  "Sister Miriam wishes to convey that she accepts her punishment with open arms. She wishes to change herself. Her voice will be returned to her when it is decided that she can use it responsibly in the name of the Goddess Nateria as her servant," Northly expins. "It was not only her rudeness to you that came to light. Under the pressure of Our Goddess, she revealed deeply troubling actions I am not at liberty to discuss. The Goddess absolved her of those sins and blessed her with a new form and mind, though only time will tell how she will live her new life."

  "The goddess did this?" Lex sounds as rattled as Sage feels.

  Sister Miriam breaks into sign again, her eyes pleading as they dart between them and Northly. Sage realises she's repeating the same few signs over and over.

  Northly's gaze softens as she transtes. "She says 'I love her. I accept this. I love her. I accept this.'"

  "Does she have a choice?" Sage's throat burns from holding back the venom they want to spill.

  Sister Miriam signs again in wide gestures, her eyes are full of tears.

  "She says she chose this," Northly says. "She would always choose this. She chooses the life the Goddess pces in her care. Now, and always."

  "Would she have said that before the goddess altered her mind?" Lex asks, his voice cold. As Sage darts their eyes to him for a moment, they see, in the corner of their vision, bck energy coiling around him.

  "It is done," Northly says. "What would you have Sister Miriam do? Fight against the love of the Goddess to be someone who no longer exists?" She sighs. Sage finds Lex's hand and squeezes it. "It is done," she repeats, losing fight with each word.

  Sage frowns. "What did you want her punishment to be?"

  "Cleaning," Northly says. "And staying in the temple. I never dreamed…" She swallows, her voice thick. With a start, Sage realises Northly might also break into tears. "The Goddess doesn't make mistakes."

  Then, Lex asks something baffling. "Can we have a cup of tea?"

  Minutes ter, they're settled in Northly's office. As Northly starts to struggle with a fire starter of some kind, Sage says, "Let me," and sends a tiny fme to catch the surface.

  Northly says, "Thank you," with a sniff, still holding her tears in, if barely.

  Northly fills a ceramic pot with water magic and pces it on the burner.

  Once they each have a mug in their hands, Sage says, "So," and casts their gaze between Northly and Sister Miriam. "What the fuck happened?"

  Sister Miriam sets her mug down on a coaster on the table between them, and begins rapidly signing again.

  "Sister Miriam, I would like to expin the basics first, and then I can rey your words."

  Sister Miriam's hands slow, then stop. She nods.

  "Thank you," Northly says. "Once we parted ways yesterday, I raised Sister Miriam's conduct with the temple committee. I suggested her punishment be cleaning and confinement to the temple for a period, but Priestess April said this was an opportunity for me to conduct a dialogue." Northly sips her tea. "It was my second. My first was the one required to become a priestess and give myself to Nateria."

  "And what's that?" Sage asks. Northly had said it like a dialogue is something more than a simple chat.

  "A dialogue is where we channel the goddess into ourselves and the matter around us." As Northly grips her mug, her knuckles are white and her hands shake. "I have been said to be a prodigy. In my previous dialogue, she embraced my body and mind for a whole day. When she released me, I colpsed, and did not wake for three months. But I was told it was beautiful."

  "She nearly killed you," Sage spits.

  Northly stills. "Perhaps. But in a dialogue she could only ever bring me to the precipice of death. And, it is likely I cannot die after receiving her so intimately. In my final days, when I wish to leave this world, I will have to ask her to allow it." Northly's voice grows quiet. "She will disperse me as she did Vuide."

  "For a goddess of life she sure kills a lot." Well, 'a lot' might be overstating it, but killing deities and her sister is one thing, killing those most devoted to her is another.

  Northly shakes her head, but not in disagreement, more like she's trying to dislodge a stray thought. "Death is what happens at the conclusion of life, in that way, death is itself a part of life."

  Beside Sage, Lex leans forward. Sage adjusts how they're sitting so their leg presses more firmly against his. "I thought Vuide was the death goddess?" he asks.

  Northly's head jerks up from where she was gazing into her tea. "That is not wholly accurate," Northly says, slowly. "Vuide embraces those who are dead. But until they have died, they remain the beloved of Nateria."

  "And Nateria stops loving them once they're dead?"

  Northly's gaze returns to her tea.

  Sage snorts. They drink their own tea, ignoring how hot it is in their mouth.

  They don't know what to say. A goddess who abandons her believers at their death. What is the point of a goddess, if she doesn't help ease mortal burden of death? They think they might hate a goddess like that.

  Beside them, Lex definitely does.

  They can feel more than see his rage. But he doesn't speak. He doesn't move. They aren't even sure he breathes.

  "What did Miriam do to Lex?" Sage asks because they aren't getting anywhere.

  "That was why I had the dialogue. To receive all truths from Sister Miriam."

  "And?"

  Northly shakes her head. "Sister Miriam did not cause Lex's condition yesterday." Northly raises her mug to her lips. Tea spshes over the brim and onto Northly's hands from how hard they shake. "The Goddess did."

  "How?"

  "Amplification. She folded the effects of her items on themselves, magnifying them as a square becomes a cube." Northly illustrates her words with a ft pne of water, which then grows another dimension before dismissing it.

  "That's why your tits grew so much," Sage says. Lex drops his hand from where he had been cupping one.

  "Why?" Lex asks, joining Sage in one word questions.

  Northly shrinks in on herself. "She takes ownership but does not expin Her actions."

  "Of course she fucking doesn't." Sage sighs, trying to force themself to rex, at least enough to be able to think clearly. They won't get far trying to kill a goddess at level thirteen. "Do you have a guess? And why isn't she doing it now?"

  Northly frowns, her shaking subsiding. "Lex bearing an item tied to Vuide may have prompted it. As to why She has not done the same this day…" She pauses, setting down her tea and hooking a finger through her neckce to rub at it. "Has something changed? Lex seems more distant from Nateria's influence."

  "Good," Sage says. "A goddess like yours shouldn't touch her."

  A thud sounds from Sister Miriam's foot as she stamps it. She begins signing, and Northly transtes.

  "The Goddess is kind. The Goddess does only what she must. The Goddess passes those who die into the void where Her sister will love them where she can't. She loves you. She loves me."

  "Loves you so much she fixed your mind," Sage hisses over top of Miriam's signs.

  Miriam breaks into a giant smile and knocks her fist on her palm.

  "Right," Northly says. Miriam continues to sign, happiness all but radiating off her. But as Miriam grows more cheerful, Northly's voice picks up a note of despair as she continues to transte. "She allowed me to change. She gave me this gift and I shall treasure it and become what she intended with all my spirit. I choose her love."

  "She didn't give you a choice!" Sage's voice is raised now.

  "Sister, no…" Northly says to Miriam's reply.

  Miriam signs again.

  "Sister, I…"

  Miriam touches her fingers to her chin and curls them as she brings them down, eyes pleading.

  "It's okay. Tell us what she said," Lex says, softly. At Sage's frown, his lips quirk in a smile. "I know that one. It means 'please'."

  That one piece of knowledge cuts the hold Sage had on themself. They pull him halfway onto their p and hold him tight, one arm wrapped around his middle. The way they're entangled is hardly comfortable, but it does what Sage wanted it to: it keeps Lex close. It lets them feel that at least they can put themself in front of him if there's any danger.

  "She says, 'I didn't deserve a choice,'" Northly says. She sniffs and swallows before continuing. "I forfeited my right to a choice when I…" Northly frowns. "Did my other transgressions." At a guess, Northly is editorialising. Either Miriam's other sins are bad enough that they shouldn't be repeated unnecessarily, or they're something only those who live by the church would understand. "I live my life in service of the love of the Goddess Nateria. I am freed by Her. My life will be as She wills it."

  Miriam's hands still. Northly's hands shake. Lex sips his tea.

  "Fuck," Sage says. It's the only thing worth saying.

  "Yes," Northly says. "Fuck."

  *

  Sister Miriam left after that, with a bow and a flurry of sign that Northly passed on as pleasantries and mention of needing to help out in the kitchen. It takes some time for the tension in the room to ease.

  "Does this happen a lot?" Lex asks as he puts his empty teacup down.

  Northly shakes her head. "Never. Even during my first dialogue, she did not take action, merely advised and discussed." A breath escapes from her lips. "Only in the old times is she said to have done such things."

  "The other things Sister Miriam did…" Lex begins. "Did those deserve a harsher punishment than cleaning and staying in the temple?"

  "Yes," Northly says, immediate and forceful.

  "What would you have recommended as punishment for those deeds?"

  Northly pys with her neckce as she considers. "Labour," she says, curtly, then pauses. She struggles for a moment before saying, "Taking her voice would not have been out of line. All followers of Nateria learn sign, and those higher in rank than myself never use spoken word. But it would have been done differently."

  "And you wouldn't have fucked with her head?" Sage can't make their voice calm, but they do hold their gaze steady.

  Northly's gaze meets theirs. "No."

  Lex shifts on top of Sage, rexing. "We actually came here to talk about something else. But… I don't think you can help us."

  All of this, every second, has confirmed that Northly is far from an NPC — and Sage is certain if she was, FEViR wouldn't have shut up about their new AI — but they can't imagine her as a mod or actor either. But if she isn't a mod or other employee, that leaves the question: what is she?

  They take Lex's hand. "I don't think so either."

  Lex ces his fingers through Sage's as he whispers, "Yeah."

  To Northly, Sage says, "You aren't a FEViR mod or anything, are you?"

  The curious look on Northly's face is confirmation enough. Sage squeezes Lex's hand as their heart sinks. This sucks.

  "Lex can't log off," they expin. "All of us, uh," they struggle for the word Northly had used for pyers.

  "'Newcomers'," Lex supplies.

  "Right," they say. "Newcomers can leave, whenever we want. Go back to where we're from. Like—" They do.

  They breath in their own body for one second, then two, then plunge themself back in.

  Lex begins to fall, as Sage reappearing forces him from the couch. They grab him and pull him back into their p. "Like that."

  "And you can't?" Northly asks Lex, eyes wide.

  He shakes his head. "It's an effect of that item. The one Vuide made."

  "I… see."

  "We thought you might have been someone who…"

  "Lets us be here," Lex fills in. "Who set up the system."

  "Why?" Northly asks, leaning forward.

  Jesus. How to even expin this.

  Lex picks up the ball again. "Usually, people you meet in these systems have certain mannerisms. We've never encountered anyone who didn't in the other pces we've visited. But we've met several here. You're one of them. So we thought you might be connected to the devs or mods — the people who made the system."

  "I'm sorry," Northly says. "I wish I could help, but… I would know if I was one of those, yes?"

  "Barring the goddess wiping your mind, yeah." Sage says it before really thinking. But… what if Northly is a person, and the game wiped her mind, and rewrote it to believe she has always lived here? Their skin crawls.

  Lex must have the same thought, because he asks, "Northly, can you show us your status?"

  Northly's face flushes. "Th-that's very—! I know I…" She makes a jerking off motion. "Before, and you have yours visible, but I'm not someone who—"

  Wild, Sage thinks, before waving their free hand. "No, you don't have to it's just." They pause, still reckoning with her reaction. "Is that intimate for you?"

  "Is it not for you?" she asks, incredulous.

  "Not even a little." They open their menu, looking through the settings. "I didn't even know you could hide it until just now."

  Northly splutters. "Of course you can! To not be able to…" She shakes her head. "I thought you showed yours because the two of you are…" She hesitates, and Sage snorts.

  "Perverts?" they ask.

  Northly nods, looking at her neckce rather than at Sage. She has a literal dong hung between her boobs, and is calling them perverts. Sage kind of loves that.

  "I mean, I guess we are," they say and pull Lex further onto their p, letting the hand that isn't tangled with Lex's wander down to his crotch. "But you're fine with this kind of perversion, right?" they ask as they slip their fingers inside Lex's trousers. They briefly pause to press a kiss behind his ear and whisper, "Colour?"

  Lex squeezes their hand three times. All good then.

  "Th-that's—" Northly stammers as Sage releases Lex's hand so they can unfasten the tie, and push his clothing down between them, so his bare ass is against their robe and his dick is free.

  "You can say," Lex tells her. "Sage likes it when you tell them they're hot."

  "Oi," they say, and flick his dick. "stop spilling my secrets." Lex grins and twists to kiss them, licking into their mouth.

  "I might, if that had hurt."

  "Would you like it to hurt?" they purr, and can feel Lex get hard under their touch at the words.

  "Um," Northly says, jolting Sage back to the present. "I… can see the appeal. But… you are okay with me watching, yes?"

  "She is," Sage says as Lex whines.

  "After," Northly says, "I will," she swallows, "show you my status."