Chapter 3: Everything Is Fine

  One dick. Not sure whether I’m happy or sad about that. I guess it’s fine. I’m a dragon, not a ‘real’ lizard. I might not even be cold-blooded. I’m probably a scaly mammal. I don’t really know yet.

  Urination doesn’t require me to pull my dick out though, which is convenient. Also found out that I have to shit a lot, basically the more I eat, the more I shit. Who could’ve guessed?

  Either way, lizard life-I mean, dragon life has been pretty cool thus far. Lots of eating, lounging around, crawling up trees, gliding down from trees, trying to learn how to fly mostly… Not much else to do, but even just that is pretty exciting and entertaining, okay?

  If you had wings and could fucking fly, I’m pretty sure you’d be doing the same exact shit!

  Who are you talking to?

  “Oh fuck off.” I rolled my eyes and sighed, “Oh yeah, my eyes are red. Typical bck-dragon bullshit. Not that surprising really.”

  I found a puddle of water that was reflective enough, also depends on the time of day, but you get the point. Red eyed bck dragon. Reddish wings too. Everything else is bck for the most part. Probably for the best, better camoufge and easier to hunt at night. I think. Maybe brown would’ve been better actually, but at least bck looks cooler?

  Adaptive optical camoufge would be more useful.

  “I wanna say that’s ridiculous, but I mean, there are actually quite a few animals that can actually do that shit in nature.” It wasn’t even a matter of magic or whatever, chameleons, octopi and some other creatures could just change their color to blend into the environment better. But I’m a fucking dragon. I might need to hide from some shit now, but hopefully not forever.

  Guns, bombs, space sers…

  “Okay, fine. We don’t actually know whether there are even any civilizations on this pnet yet, not to mention anything that advanced.” I might need to find someone to talk to soon though. Not sure how long my hyperverbal brain can survive if my only company is my own psychosis.

  We are not insane.

  “Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that.” I snorted and snickered to myself, then hopped down off the side of the tree branch! I fpped my wings, feeling that familiar sensation in my gut, kinda like jumping really high… But over and over again. Jumping jacks? Best human equivalent I can give. As long as I’m gliding, it’s not that bad. Puts strain on the wings and my back muscles, also my sides, but I’m not very heavy. When I fp my wings and try to actually ‘fly’ though, that’s when things get more choppy and nausea-inducing…

  *Wooosh~!* Also really fucking loud. Flying is so fucking loud. Holy shit. You don’t really think about it that much, but no wonder birds are so damn loud all the time. If they weren’t so loud, they wouldn’t even be able to hear each other.

  “Kaaaaa~!” Like that noise. I think it was a hawk or something?

  Crow. Retively massive. Fairly dangerous.

  “Oh for fuck’s-Ack~!” Ouch. Ow, fucker grabbed me with its feet! I’m kinda used to this shit by now though. I can’t really avoid predatory birds much, but I am pretty good at dealing with them. Twisted around and grabbed the dickhead’s ankle with my cws, squeezing tightly, my talons dug into its thin and bony legs!

  “Kaaaaa~!” The bird freaked out and let go of me immediately! It fpped those big bck wings faster and started escaping! I fpped my wings as fast as I could, but unfortunately, I wasn’t very quick compared to real birds. I could fly, but not fast enough to catch up with most birds.

  Of course… I didn’t necessarily need to catch up with them. I had pretty good vision and a great sense of smell. I saw them flying for a few minutes and eventually nding in a tree off on the side of the nearby mountain. They had to rest and they were definitely injured, probably still hungry. They would be there for a while… Long enough for me to take my time.

  Why bother?

  “Revenge is a poison, coursing through my veins…” I muttered the lyrics of a song I wrote as a teenager, “Forcing my hand, for all their cries of pain. Anger’s controlling me, filling me with hate… Nothing can stop this rage I feel and all that’s left is fate…”

  Okay, I can’t remember the rest of the lyrics. Also, I wrote this stupid song before I learned how to sing. Ugh, one of my regrets in my st life was not pursuing a music career and getting into writing instead. Neither were very good in terms of actually making money, but music was still better than writing overall.

  Irrelevant. Illogical. Unnecessary. Just move on already.

  “I moved on. Look at me moving on. I moved on so hard I died and turned into a dragon in another world! Hahaha~!” I might be going a little crazy. Or maybe I’ve always been this crazy, just packed into the tiny body of a gecko-sized dragon without internet access, I seem slightly more unhinged than usual?

  “Would I have hunted and killed a house-sized crow if it tried to eat me when I was a human?” I thought about that seriously for a half a second and took off from the tree branch I was resting on.

  *Fp-fp-fp-fp~!* My wings sounded super loud to my ears, but it might just be due to the fact that they were almost next to my head and comparatively enormous. Other animals probably couldn’t hear me as easily or loudly.

  “Okay, maybe this might be a little illogical and unnecessarily violent. Crows are really smart too. So killing them is kinda fucked. But… But should I feel more or less guilt because of their increased intelligence?” My mouth was getting a little dry from talking while flying, but on the positive side of things, even if a bug flew into my mouth, that would just be a convenient and tasty snack. It rarely happens though. Bugs on this pnet seem less suicidal than the ones on Earth. Or maybe it’s just because of the fact that I’m not very rge yet. When I’m the size of a bus, bugs will probably coat my face constantly.

  Focus on the hunt.

  I have ADHD like most people and/or animals, so this is me focusing on the hunt…

  *Fp-fp-fp-fwip~!* I nded gently on a branch and looked around the other nearby branches. The bird was close. Likely on another branch in this insanely rge tree. I heard crackling branches nearby and some squawking in the distance, along with a loud howl of some wolf or whatever, but…

  Okay, found the crow. In the mouth of a colossal tan-furred kitty cat. And by kitty cat, I mean a damn mountain lion or something? Either way, it was a few branches down and was munching on a retively ‘tiny’ crow that was big enough to treat me as a snack. Honestly, I was so tiny that even though it definitely looked in my direction, it didn’t even consider me a threat at all. Just kept munching on the remains of the bck crow.

  “Welp, now what?” I was a little winded from flying all this way, so I didn’t really feel like having an epic battle with a cougar for no reason. Speaking of cougars, I miss my friends…

  That’s the worst part of the whole Isekai thing. You travel to another world and turn into a sexy dragon, but you can’t even show off to your friends and family!

  Vanity. Very draconic.

  “I know, right?” I sighed dramatically and hopped off the branch, gliding down at a leisurely pace. I started halfway up a mountain, so the glide actually sted a pretty damn long time. I passed over the river and couldn’t help having a fshback-

  No.

  Okay, fine, I won’t have a cool fshback daydream. The moral of the story is that my cousin told me that my pen name reminded her of the river Acheron in Greece, which… Technically I had some Greek in me, in that side of the family at least. Was thinking about changing my pseudonym to Acheron or something.

  Names are unnecessary. We are alone.

  “We probably aren’t alone. Whether the ‘people’ of this world speak English is another matter entirely, but at the very least, I do need a name. A cool dragon name. And why not Ach-”

  *Cck~!*

  A fucking cicada divebombed my face! The bastard was basically the size of my torso! I think I have a concussion… Okay, maybe not, but I bcked out for a moment there. When I woke up, I fpped my wings rapidly and tried to avoid crashing into a tree. I did crash into the tree, but I’m so small that I really just hit some leaves here and there and avoided a direct collision with anything too sturdy.

  I’m not mentally talking in caps because I’m actually pretty calm. This is fine. This is normal. I nded safely on the dirt and nothing popped out to murder me yet, so this is pretty good.

  Bleeding.

  “Mmnnf… Yep… Yep… I’m fine. Totally fine.” If I can still talk to myself, I figure I’m not too seriously injured but my nose or snout might be bleeding a little… Just a little. I’m starting to think that maybe I do need some horns and armor pting? Seriously, my draconic gecko body isn’t as sturdy as I want it to be.

  We are only five days old. We will grow. Adapt. Improve. Survive… Thrive.

  “I’m not disagreeing. I’m just in a lot of pain at the moment.” I opened my mouth wide and then sneezed out a bunch of blood, along with some cicada pieces that were jammed up my nostrils from the high-speed collision…

  Anyway, being a dragon is awesome thus far. Totally fine. Everything is going smoothly. Haven’t died again yet. Only get attacked about ten times a day by random birds, snakes or other creatures that look massive to me, but are actually probably just normal sized animals.

  “Moral of the story is that I need to be more careful when I’m flying.” I muttered to myself while looking around curiously. This was a new pce and my sense of smell was fucked by a cicada, so I could only really go off hearing and sight for the most part.

  Ferret.

  “Shit.” I think it’s more like a weasel, but either way, I didn’t wanna get in a fight with the giant dickhead. So I fpped my wings as I kicked off the ground with my strong ‘legs’, even using my tail to push myself upwards faster. I can jump a few feet in the air pretty easily, which is wild when you’re only a few inches long. I fpped a little harder and managed to ascend further, avoiding a cricket and a wasp, seriously… I think it’s cause I said that shit about bugs earlier.

  I still didn’t have a ir. Being a homeless dragon isn’t so bad though. Just means that there’s nothing holding me back or dragging me down. No possessions, no territory, no obligations… No family or friends. I don’t have to worry about anyone in this world. I’m not responsible for anyone or anything but myself.

  Good.

  Yeah… Good… At least it’s a bit of a relief for now. Living as a human in 2024 was pretty rough. Not really sure how I died, but I’m sure it was something stupid and pointless. None of my business anymore.

  “I’m just gonna enjoy my new life to the fullest. And avoid getting killed by literally every fucking animal in this forest.” I was thinking about leaving the forest, but I’m not sure if that’s even possible.

  I fpped my wings and flew up higher, it was a struggle to get above the treeline, but not impossible. I was breathing a little heavier as I glided along once more. My wings and back burned from overexertion, but I was getting stronger. Only a few days and I could fly pretty well already.

  My metabolism is way higher than a human. Not surprising since I’m so small. I need to eat, sleep, piss and shit a lot. My body also heals and grows really fast though. I’m definitely bigger now and it’s only been a few days. How much bigger? Not really sure, hard to tell without a measuring tape or ruler, but I’d guess about a centimeter. Or half an inch, which doesn’t sound like much, but when you start at like three inches, you’ll take anything you can get…