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Book 3, Chapter 18: Depths of Consciousness (Part 2)

  Someone banged on the table, and both Felit?a and Mikranasta turned to see that it had been Feviona, who began signing frantically. She walked right up to Mikranasta, her motions angry and threatening. Mikranasta watched stoically.

  Felit?a glanced down at Meleng, who gulped and stood up. He leaned in close to her and said quietly, “She’s telling Mikranasta that...um...if she wants Zandrue and others to trust her, then she could start acting with more...uh...friendliness and earn that trust. One way she could earn the trust is to let you help Zandrue now. She’s saying it with...um...much more colourful language, though.”

  Felit?a smirked. She really needed to learn that sign language.

  When Feviona finished, she continued to stare up at Mikranasta, who simple stared back. This went on for a while. Was Mikranasta communicating mentally with Feviona? It was possible.

  Eventually, Mikranasta turned away from Feviona and scanned the room again. “I understand you are all here because you are friends of Felit?a Asa Folith, and you wish to support her, but you do not understand the full gravity of the situation. If you truly care for her and for Zandromeda Armida, please listen to what I have to say. I—”

  “If I might interject for a moment.” Eti?nne strode forward and up to Mikranasta.

  Mikranasta looked up at him, a bemused look on her face. “Go on then.”

  Eti?nne began moving about the room as he talked. “The truth of the matter is, I don’t actually know her Highness or Lady Armida all that well. I hope we can be considered friends in time, but I suppose we are really more acquaintances. However, I am very close to her Highness’s sister, and young Meleng here.” He patted Meleng on the shoulder as he passed. “Both Miana and I care for them a great deal. And while young Meleng here can sometimes be a bit na?ve, I trust his judgement in people, and he believes strongly in her Highness, so I’m inclined to side with her as well.”

  “In that case, let me—” Mikranasta started.

  “Uh uh uh.” Eti?nne waved an admonishing finger. “Let me finish. When you were aboard my ship, you were essentially a model passenger in the sense that you caused no trouble. You kept to yourself, followed the rules, and never made a fuss. You were not particularly sociable and were never interested in friendly talk, but none of that is strictly necessary. However, Miana can attest here, that my crew found you and your siare...intimidating at best, downright frightening at worst.”

  “Cultural differences,” Mikranasta said.

  “Perhaps,” Eti?nne said, pausing momentarily in his movement about the room. “But they had no problem with Jorvanultumn and Fevionawishtensen.”

  “I’m still not sure I see your point.”

  “My point is, the issue here seems to be a lack of trust in you. Now, I know what you are capable of, and I know what you did for young Meleng here. I know what you could do for Lady Armida. But you need to understand, most of the people here were not there in Isyaria. They don’t know you. They see someone who has strode in and tried to take control of the situation here. I’ve talked to several of them, and they say you act as though you are some sort of authority, despite the fact that you are a guest of the local authority, something that her Highness is a part of.” He stopped by Meleng again, and patted him on the back once more. Then he bowed his head slightly to Felit?a.

  Mikranasta bowed her head as well. “I accept that I have been...intimidating as you put it, and I apologise. But you must all understand that my siare and I must spend all our time maintaining the shield around Felit?a Asa Folith. This takes effort, and I suppose the social niceties have suffered as a result.”

  “That could explain here,” Miana said, “but your behaviour was the same onboard ship, and you had no shield to maintain there.”

  Mikranasta lowered her head. “May I explain my position regarding Zandromeda Armida?”

  “I think we’ve heard enough from you,” Agernon said.

  Felit?a held up her hand again. “Agernon, please.”

  Agernon grunted, but said nothing more.

  “Mikranasta, I know your explanation, but most people here have not heard it directly from you, so please, explain.”

  Mikranasta bowed her head. “Thank you.” She walked over to Felit?a and Zandrue.

  Zandrue looked up and recoiled with a snarl.

  Mikranasta smiled sadly, and looked around the room at everyone else. “I know Felit?a Asa Folith cares deeply for her friend, Zandromeda Armida. I don’t deny this in any way. And I know she wishes to help her friend in any way she can. And there will come a day when she will have that ability. But the truth is, Felit?a Asa Folith cannot yet control the powers she possesses. She discovered yesterday when circumstances forced a situation where I could not provide the shield, that she was not ready. She has admitted it herself.”

  Zandrue leapt to her feet and shoved Mikranasta. “But you don’t have to lower the whole fucking shield, you bitch. Just let me inside it. Then I’m the only one at risk.”

  Hedromornasta started towards them, but Mikranasta held up her hand again as she straightened herself up. “You are right that I could adjust the shield so that you were within it and you would be the only one at risk. However, that is the operative word: risk. Felit?a Asa Folith believes the risk is that she might see something in your head, something private or embarrassing. Something you do not want her to see.”

  “I’ve already told her that it’s all right. I’ve given my consent. I don’t care what she sees.”

  “But that is not the risk,” Mikranasta said. “Not the one that concerns me, at any rate. If that were the only risk, I would accept the consent and have no problem with your proposed course of action. However, she could do far worse. She could damage your mind. At worst, she could burn it out entirely, leaving you a husk incapable of even keeping your heart beating. You would die.”

  Zandrue looked to Felit?a. “Is this true?”

  Felit?a tried her best to look confident despite saying, “Maybe. I don’t actually know.” While she had considered the possibility that she might somehow harm Zandrue, she hadn’t really thought about the possibility she could completely destroy Zandrue’s mind. Could she do that?

  “She did it to Plavistalorik’s mind,” Mikranasta said.

  “Yeah, but that was different,” Zandrue said.

  Mikranasta tilted her head slightly. “Was it?”

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  Zandrue stood there a moment, closing her eyes. “How likely is it?”

  “Hard to say,” Mikranasta responded, “but more likely than I am comfortable with. Are you?”

  Zandrue stared at her for a moment, then looked to Felit?a.

  “You don’t have to do it if you don’t want,” Felit?a said.

  Zandrue broke into a smile. “Fuck it. I’m in.” She put an arm around Felit?a. “I’m willing to take the risk.”

  “And you will not let me help you?” Mikranasta said.

  Zandrue shuddered. “No. I’m sorry. Maybe if I was in better shape, I’d be willing, but I think whatever’s wrong with me is making me refuse any help. It’s even trying to make me refuse help from Felit?a. I’m resisting that for now, but I don’t think I can resist much longer, which is why I can’t wait until you think she’s ready. It’ll be too late for me by then.”

  “So be it.”

  “You’ll...you’ll let her?” Zandrue was shaking now, and Felit?a did her best to hold onto her and hold her still.

  “What is the alternative, Will-Breaker?”

  “I call your bluff,” Felit?a said, “and let you go. If you leave, it won’t be ideal, but I’ve been through a hell of a lot the last year or so. I’ll get through this too. I’d love to have your help to make it easier, but if you don’t want to give that help, fine. Fuck off back to Isyaria and leave us be.”

  Mikranasta straightened her back and took a deep breath. She looked at Felit?a through narrowed eyes. “It seems I have no choice. If you are going to do something exceedingly stupid, then the least I can do is watch over you. I will extend the shield as you request. However, I have one condition.”

  “Which is?” Felit?a asked.

  “Do not block me, Will-Breaker. I could break through if I wanted to, but I would prefer your consent to help you if something goes wrong. I give you my word I will not enter Zandromeda Armida’s mind, but you must agree to let me enter yours if necessary. There is probably not much I could do for Zandromeda Armida in such a situation, but I could save you. If you do not agree, then I will...fuck off back to Isyaria and leave you be.”

  Felit?a looked to Zandrue, who got her shaking under control enough to nod.

  “All right,” Felit?a said. “I agree.”

  “Then the sooner we start, the better.” Mikranasta motioned to the doors. “I need everyone except the Will-Breaker and Zandromeda Armida to leave the room. I will not take the risk of any of you accidentally being caught up in this.”

  Agernon harrumphed, but stood up. “I hate to say it, but she’s probably right. Cry out if you need me, Felit?a. I’ll be right outside the door.”

  Meleng and Feviona came up to her. “Good luck,” Meleng said. Feviona signed something and Meleng translated, “She says she admires how you stand up for your friend.”

  “She could understand everything, I take it?” Felit?a said.

  Meleng nodded. “I translated everything for her.”

  Zandrue spun round suddenly and hugged Meleng, who gaped. “Thanks for the support,” she said. “I mean it. I really appreciate it.”

  “You’re welcome,” Meleng said, looking flustered.

  With a smile, Feviona took Meleng’s hand and led him from the room.

  Eti?nne and Miana came over next. “Well done, your Highness,” Eti?nne said. “I would love to have the opportunity to sit down and talk one day.”

  “So would I,” Felit?a said.

  Miana nodded slightly to her. “My offer remains open.”

  Felit?a’s cheeks warmed and she looked away, hoping no one noticed.

  “Offer?” Eti?nne said. “Offer for what? Oh! Oh, I see. None of my business. Never mind. Let’s go, Number One.”

  “All the best, your Highness,” Anita said, as she and Nin-Akna headed for the door.

  “Come on, squirt,” Nin-Akna said to Corvinian

  Corvinian hopped to his feet. “That wasn’t even an angry argument. There was no yelling or anything.”

  “Actually,” Felit?a said, “I’d like Corvinian to stay.”

  Corvinian stopped and looked back. “Me? Why?”

  Before Felit?a could answer, Mikranasta said, “You are the only one immune to the Will-Breaker’s powers. It’s a sensible precaution. I will allow it.”

  Felit?a thought about admonishing Mikranasta for that statement—that she wasn’t in a position to allow anything—but she held her tongue when it occurred to her how similar the complaint was to complaints Nin-Akna had made about her.

  Nin-Akna ruffled Corvinian’s hair as he skipped past her. Then she followed Anita out the door.

  Apart from the four who were supposed to be there, Hedromornasta was the only other person remaining in the room. Even the servants had left now. Hedromornasta and Mikranasta touched foreheads and wing tips together for a few moments, and then he, too, left.

  Zandrue leaned on Felit?a. “Can we get this started? You have no idea how much I want to run out the door right now.” There was strain on her face, and tears dripped from the corners of her eyes.

  Felit?a nodded and led her over to one of the plush chairs along the walls. It probably didn’t make any real difference where they did this, but she might as well try to make Zandrue as comfortable as possible.

  Zandrue sat in the chair, but bent over forwards, almost far enough for her legs to be hugging against her chest.

  “I’ll hold your hand if you want,” Corvinian said.

  Zandrue turned her head to look at him. She was shaking visibly, but she held out her hand. “Thanks, kid.”

  Corvinian took her hand. “I bet you’re gonna feel better really soon. Felit?a’s the best.”

  “I know, kid. There’s literally no one in the world I trust more.”

  Felit?a wished she had as much confidence in herself as they did, but she was definitely grateful for their trust. Taking a deep breath, she looked to Mikranasta and nodded.

  There was no sensation of the shield shifting, but Zandrue’s presence was now in the Room in her head. Nothing else. No voices. No line-up. But Zandrue was there. So was Zandrue’s fear. Such intense fear. She’d sensed this kind of fear from Zandrue before, though she couldn’t quite remember when she’d last sensed it so intense. The very first time they’d encountered a Volg in Mesone? It had to be at least that long. Zandrue had been frozen with fear then.

  Felit?a was more prepared for it this time though. And more prepared for her own mind being freed. She had learned something from her experience with Meleng and Sinit?a yesterday. Her mind didn’t immediately dive into Zandrue’s. It was taking some effort though.

  In the library, Felit?a knelt beside Zandrue. “I’m not entirely sure how this will feel to you. I have no idea how much you’ll even notice. Ready?”

  “JUST GET ON WITH IT!” Zandrue screamed.

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