Rowan pulled back from peering down into the deep chasm that was to be their delve. Below lay a storied cavern of riches and treasures from a long-past era the last refuge of a dead civilization, or so they were told. “Hopefully, we make it back up, eh? I heard the boys on the ship say there’s wailers down there that’ll suck the soul right out of ya with their eyes.”
Fortunes of glittering gold and secret spells were far away what was usually encountered by most that made the journey to the isle. A stagnant well of anima filled the deep bowels the earth, these lost souls, with no way to reach the heavens, haunt what was once their living home. Many fools that have thought themselves heroes added their souls to the mire, the grasp of the dead was strong on the isle.
- Above were a couple of undeleted ways I was going to start, I honestly struggled on where to start the story how far to go back, but these two are where I was starting to like the approaches, below is the raw first chapter.
“It’s time for bed boys,” a quaint wooden door swung open to a messy bedroom, handmade toys and shabby rags used for blankets littered the floor, outside cold winds howled, frenzied snow battered against the window, “Rowen, Callahan, I swear, you were raised by pigs,” the mother’s tired voice was overpowered as her two young children barrelled in through past her, barely even acknowledging their mother’s frustration with their messy room. The two of them had an almost endless supply of energy as they wrestled each other using their beds as an arena for their playful fight. “Be careful, you’re gonna end up hurting him Rowan,” The mother cried, her oldest son, having his younger brother carried over his shoulders, as he spun him around and around. “TWISTER” Rowan yelled, “MA” the younger one cried, as his older brother slammed him onto the soft bed.
Rowan looked down at his younger brother, Callahan’s eyes, darted around the room trying to follow the world as is spun around him “do you give up?” Rowan smirked mischievously, he had plans for his little brother if he didn’t surrender. “No—NO!” Callahan defiantly shouted, as he tried to get back to his feet. His attempt was thwarted by Rowen, he pinned his little brother down and asked again “Do you SURRENDER” Rowen once again offered a playful mercy to his brother, Callahan was ready to once again defiantly defy his brother’s offer, before a swift hand from their mother came crashing onto the back of his brother’s head. “All right Allright, Enough get to bed, it’s cold, I’m tired, and you two are too much sometimes” Their mother reclaimed exhaustedly. Their epic battle had come to an end, a draw, decision made by their mother. “Sorry ma,” Rowen lept off his brother’s bed and apologetically climbed into his own, “Sorry mama,” Callahan more meekishly said, as he crawled to grab his blankets and curled inside of them.
The two of them now tucked in and tired, as the playful day finally had caught up to them their mother finished tucking them in and blew out the lights
A gnawing anxiety began to fill the room, in the dark a figure grew at the threshold of the door that their mother had just gone through, That loving comfort had all but evaporated, dread, fear, everything that scared Callahan now stood at that doorway. He looked over to his brother for comfort, but Rowan was fast asleep, He tried to scream out for his mother, but the words would not leave his throat. “Please don’t” his lips made the movement but no sound came out, as the shadow’s clawed hand stretched out and wrapped slowly around Rowan’s bed. Callahan tried to move, but his body was petrified, All he could do was watch, he was to weak to do anything else he thought, sick, frail, no use was he to anyone,
Tears started to well up in Callahan’s eyes, Rowan, he thought, if he just woke up he’d make the bad things go away, he’d always had before, he could scare the beasts away. “Rowan Wake up” he desperately tried to shout once more but the room remained silent, those claws sharp as razors were now around his brother’s neck. The entire room around him started to melt, the darkness from the shadow had spread out and consumed everything, the beds, the toys, the window all dark.
Callahan was left floating in an abyss, his eyes locked on his brother now fully in the grasp of that dark demon, He reached out for Rowan, his heart heavy with dread, a terrifying, insurmountable fear of losing his big brother. The blackened hand tightened, “Rowan please” a final desperate cry, one that finally made an echo in the nightmare he found himself in, it rung out at the shadow, like a gale wind, Rowan had still not waken but he had started to change, Callahan watched in horror as his brother’s body had started to twist and break into an unfamiliar form, Dark brown hair started to grow thick on Rowan’s body, his face bent into the shape of a beast, his body towering over both Callahan and the demon. The beast’s eyes opened, dark glassy blobs that looked down unto the shadow that was already starting to receive. The beast tilt’s it’s head back, took a deep breath and then let loose a great guttural roar.
There were now two great horrors in front of Callahan, he watched in terror as the beast continuously bellowed at the shadow, Again, and again, and again, the nightmare started to break down, Another roar, another crack, then the noise started to sound familiar, The beast had started to sound like it was saying something. “CAAAAAAAAAAAL” this horrifying thing was saying his name,
“CAAAAAAL” he closed his eyes, he buried his face in his hands,
“CAL” the voice began to get softer but still he fear was unshaken,
“Cal” Light exploded from the darkness, Callahan eyes ripped open as he sprung up from the bed, covered in sweat, his face soaked in fear.
“We’re about to make landfall, you okay?” It was Rowan, standing with a concerned look on his face. “Y-yeah, No, sorry, just bad dream, really bad,” Callahan’s mind was a bit scattered, he put his head in his palms and closed his eyes, they stung and his head ached. Rowan looked him over once more, patted him on the back then began to make his way out of the cabin, “Get something to eat and then come see me at the bow, you gotta have a look at this godforsaken place.”
Cal’s hands slid under his eyes, pulling them wide open from the bottom, they were blood shot, heavy dark bags hanging onto them. His tired eyes gave the room a once over as he shoved himself out of the bed, He seemed to have everything he needed for the long day ahead, even so he double, triple checked, there was a lot riding on this. well paying jobs were hard to come by in Onoria, especially if you weren’t Onorian yourself. You’d get scraps at best, enough to wallow away in the foreign quarters of the capital, drinking your life away along side the other dregs the Onorians kept as cannon fodder and serfs. Cal had his hand brush against the door, he was ready to start the day, but he paused, still trying to shake off the nightmare. He pressed his head against wall, eyes staring down at his feet, trying to drum up some courage, he took a deep breath, one that jostled a carved piece of silver out from under his cloak. It was a necklace, a small silvery medallion with the profile of a boar etched into the metal. A parting gift from his mother, to him, and his brother both, a reminder of home, to stay strong in the face of trouble, He pinched the medallion between his finger and thumb, letting the details run across his skin, then tucked it deep back into his clothes. He was feeling better, ready to start this journey.
Being aboard the ship would be a torturous endeavor for those not familiar with the sea, the closer they got to their destination the rougher the waters became. Rowan was stood at the bow of the ship left foot on the edge an arm resting on his knee peering out like a storied sailor, the excitement was plain to see on his face. It wasn’t a shared feeling amongst the crew, the other men’s faces ranged from annoyed scowls from being out in such rotten weather for the past couple of days preparing for their landing, to fear and anxiety at what’s to come. An older man, scarred and weathered joined Rowan at the bow,
An older man, weathered and scarred by years at sea, joined Rowan at the bow. He gave the younger man a nod, his eyes scanning the choppy waters. “Never a day it doesn’t rain in these cursed waters, having fun though are we?” There was a hint of discontent in the old man’s voice, he seemed to be put off by Rowan’s enthusiasm. “Ah, Captain Galvos, the fun is still ahead ain’t it? I’m rarin’ to go,” Rowan was oblivious to the Captain’s contempt. The Captain motioned him away from the bow, politely, sternly, “I haven’t seen your whelp of a brother yet, He hasn’t been much with with preparing, he doesn’t look like much of a fighter either. Having my doubts he is going to be as useful or worth the money you say he is, Rowan.” The captain was good at concealing his emotions, especially to newcomers, but to those seasoned on his crew, they could see it on his face, heated, angered regret, the feeling he’d been ripped off. “All right now, look, you need muscle, you got me, but what good is muscle without the brains, he’s my brains. And more importantly, my little brother, we do this together or not at all.” Rowan remained cool, but it did bother him that the Captain seemed to be wanting to back out on their previous arrangement. He didn’t have any problems with the man prior, before meeting Callahan in the flesh. “Fine, We will see then, get with the rest of the crew I’ve got things to go over with all of you.” The captain didn’t want to argue in front of the crew, especially with new temporary muscle head. The two of them were just expendable extras anyhow.
“aye aye, Captain,” Rowan gave him a half hearted, almost mocking salute, Galvos gave him a dismissive smirk.
Men from all over the ship started to gather on the main deck, Rowan kept his eyes on doors to the workers cabins until he saw Callahan finally making his way topside, “Cal! Over here!” Rowen’s face stretched into a big smile, he jaunted over to his little brother, messing his hair up with his giant hands. “The man of the hour has arrived; thought you went back to sleep there for minute.”
“Yeah, sorry bout that,” Cal was happy to finally get some air, though he didn’t fully appreciate his brother ruffling his feathers after such a awful rest, he pushed his brother’s hands aside the two of them gathering with the rest on the deck. “Captain’s real excited to see what we can do out there,”
“More like what you can do, pretty sure he hates me Rowan.”
“What, no” His words stretched out in exaggeration “He’s just a hard man of the seas you know, has to look like an arse so his crew won’t mutiny, he’s a nice guy if you get him some drinks, he was jolly as a pig in the stye when we were mingling at kiki’s” Rowan wasn’t sure if he was lying to himself or Callahan anymore, but he liked to keep the spirits up, A part of him didn’t care too much if they solidly landed the gig to be a full part of the crew, the pay for this gig alone was enough to make a large leap towards their goal.
“Hmm, sure,” Callahan didn’t really buy it but he didn’t mind, This was for his mom and family as a whole, “Like you said, we’ll show him what we can do today.” The resolve was unusually strong today in Callahan’s breath. Rowan pulled his brother in with his giant arm and squeezed him into his side, “That’s the spirit, somebody must’ve sprinkled sunshine in your oats today, not a complete downer in the morning.”
Attention was called to the front of the ship, Captain Galvos, arquebus resting on his shoulder, stepped onto some barrels that had been prepared to be used as a podium, better for the men to see him, he looked over them, a rabbling chaotic mess of men, pricked and plucked from all over the world, the raucous cacophony of all their voices was like music to his ears. As much as he enjoyed the chaos it was time to give his last words before they stepped onto the beach.
“All right All right,” The captain fired a shot into the air, the men cheered and then began to quiet down. Rough as the journey was it was time to buckle down and get down to business, “I’m sure you all know your roles very well, but lets review for those who taken one too many to the head,” He set the butt of is arquebus at his foot, “We’re here to capture some awful beasts, a dead wailer ain’t worth much, so don’t bother bringing any corpses back,” he paused, took another look over his crew to make sure he still had their attention, “Now remember to keep your gear on in this place, the stagnant anima here will rot you inside out, The masks aren’t just for fashion” a crew man rushed over with one of said masks, it completely covered the face and had two large glassy sockets to see out of, he put it on as a demonstration to the crew, he tried to continue his speech with it on but the words didn’t carry very far.
“Now men who are we!” Galvos voice rang out, he almost forgot to get the men rallied with their salute, “THE KRACKEN CALLERS” the crew responded with a fervor, Rowan even join in on the fun, Callahan, remained quiet but secretly, enjoyed the spectacle “Now why would you fools call the sea devils attention like that!” Galvos awaited the response with a smile, “CAUSE WE FEAR NOTHING” They all cried out, the ship exploded once again into a chorus of men psyching each other up, Galvos was pleased, he finally stepped off his podium and got ready himself, he wouldn’t let his boys go alone.
“The sea devil, huh? What actually is a Kracken?” Rowan pondered, he tried to remember the stories his mother would tell them about the great beasts of the world but he was coming up a little short, “It’s a big squid, I don’t think one actually lives in this bay though,” Callahan was especially fond of his mother’s stories, the beasts she would tell him about would spark his imagination when he was a little one. “I heard there was one that roams in the channel between Vallara and Ryvakar,”
A sparkle twinkled in Rowan’s eye “Wel, you know if this job goes underwater, maybe we go hunt a Kraken,” Rowan could already see himself, sticking the beast with a spear, riding the beast to the depths of the sea, until it finally would fall to his hands.
Puzzled but not surprised, Callahan tried to bring him back down from his fantasy, “The channel to Ryvakar is almost half way across the world, and how you going to kill a kracken anyway?”
Rowan smiled at his little brother, “with your help of course, you just give me some gills and I’ll stab it to death.” Callahan sighed, his brother was ambitious, and he couldn’t really fault him for that. Though sometimes he wished that maybe he could be a little more grounded.
The two of them suited up, the masks Galvos had showed them were important, but they also had to wrap any exposed skin to keep from the deteriorating affects of the mire. Blessed bands from Onorus would keep their fleshy parts save, even the mask had a blessing weaved into its respiratory system. “Can’t really see all that well in this thing,” Callahan’s voice was muffled, but when you’re not speaking to a crowd the effect wasn’t as pronounced, still Rowan put his hand to his ear, a teasing jest “sorry what” Rowan started heading off the ship waiting for his brother to reply
“You know if I can’t see you we’re gonna have issues” He said as he followed quickly behind,
“It’s gonna be fine, we’re probably not even going to have to use your *bend alright?” Confident as ever, Rowan pushed away his brother’s concerns.
*NOTE: I used to call them bends, but I feel like I was stepping on Avatars toes even if the mechanics of the magic aren’t even slightly the same.
“Hey wait,” A voice beckoned them both (I’m going to leave these false starts in, sometimes I will start a paragraph or sentence and just not finish it for days cause I’ll be thinking about how the scene will play out.)
“Hey wait,” A voice called out to the two of them, their feet firmly on the sands of the beach, “Galvos wants me coming with you two,” He was a skinny man, a great complicated device on his back, The two of them looked back at the man, they didn’t really get to meet much of the crew, so they were quite unfamiliar with him, Rowan mostly only knowing Galvos by getting blind drunk with him at his favorite tavern. “Welcome to the party!” Rowan said gleefully, Callahan gave a device on the man’s back a thorough examination, he wasn’t an expert on tinkers but still he was curious as to what it was for, “Are you gonna be able to carry that thing all the way? Looks heavy? What does it do” the man adjusted the straps of the device, trying to get comfortable, “I’ll be fine, Galvos said you guys were headed toward the old fort on the inner plateau right? Said there were deep concentrations there, so I need to come along.”
Note: Ollie was going to be a throw away, used to introduce the anima bomb. Or Crucible, as it is later called, he’s actually named after my colonist in Rimworld, the first one I ever got to space. This was before Aurelan traits were really thought about as well, about the only thing I knew about them at this point was their Goddess’s name, Aureha. The later name Olesk, it comes from the naming conventions I wanted all Aurelans to start using, sort of a Slavic inspired scheme that I’ll probably flesh out more, like how the Onorions are named after jewels and metals but with a Roman Flair.
“You got a name” Rowan asked? “Mines Rowan, the lil guy is Callahan”
“Ollie” the three of them had finally take their first real steps onto the isle, the rain still hadn’t stopped, the winds screeching, the thunder rolling, if anything the weather had gotten worse since they’ve arrived. It was almost like the winds and waters themselves were telling them to leave.
It was another half hour of walking, not too long but it Ollie had fallen behind the brothers by bit, the fort, their destination, quite visible to the trio. “All right, so Rowan, I guess the best form of attack would be to try to pin one of these things down, their hooks shouldn’t pierce your armor, once you got them down you gotta place the black covering over it’s face, you don’t want those eyes looking into yours…” Callahan continued going over the strategy but Rowan seemed to be day dreaming, “we only got enough trapping for about three of them so I’ll shoot down any others that might come at us…” Along side the masks and weavings, weapons had been dolled out to the crewmates, some people like Rowan brought their own, a big ol hammer, dull, too the point, gets the job done, Rowan liked the simplicity. Callahan wasn’t as physically intimitadting or as adept as his brother in melee combat, he took a more supportive role, a crossbow from the backline, his aim wasn’t too shabby either, but he was far from a marksman.
“Ollie I” Callahan was cut off, “I won’t be able to help much with the fighting,” Ollie’s pace sparked up again, a second wind almost, though Cal could tell he was getting tired, “Ah, yeah, well what exactly is that thing, you still haven’t told us”
Ollie pondered it for a few seconds, he wasn’t given any orders about keeping the device a secret, but still he somehow felt he should, talking helped pass the time though, “This thing, it can safely suck up all that stagnant anima, we got a special commission from the capital to gather it” he was quite forthwith, Rowan turned around, keeping his pace, walking backwards towards the fort so he could join the conversation, “We’re bring that stuff back with us on the ship? That don’t sound good,” it was a surprising bit of concern from Rowan, Mires like this, their reputation about the creatures that spawn from them and the effects it has on living beings is quite well known across the world, some have ballooned out into unbelievable myths, but the danger, is very real.
Note: At this point I had a vague idea of what I wanted the first big event to be, but I didn’t know exactly how to set it off. Honestly a big part of why Ollie became so crucial is that my friend who I was telling the story about, she really didn’t want one of our colonists to just be a bit part.
“It’s real valuable to the war effort, Captain was told so anyways, don’t know if you two keep eyes on that sort of thing but there’s rumours,” a twinge of resentment, malice maybe, Callahan wasn’t sure, but it appeared on Ollie’s face. He was angry about something. “Heard there was… an Aurelan city, sacked in a day because of a new weapon made from the stuff.” a slight quiver was in his voice, “horrible… horrible stuff,” a whimper, “Sweet mother Aureha…” it was whispered, so quietly, that neither brother took notice.
“You’re not Onorion are you?” Callahan matched steps with Ollie, it wasn’t just the weight of the machine that choked Ollie’s march, His heart was heavy, his thin frame a result of an appetite lost to guilt, “No,” it was an exhausted admission, “Don’t know what I am anymore.” His face once again had started to twist, what Callahan once saw as a whisper of a red emotion, seemed more somber, regretful. The words were so quiet, so faint, that Callahan almost missed it, It wasn’t just the weight of the machine that choked Ollie’s march. His thin frame betrayed an appetite long lost to guilt, his every movement heavy with something unseen.
“No,” Ollie admitted, his voice barely audible. “Don’t know what I am anymore.”
The brother’s had mostly kept out of politics, they were after all outsiders, they came to Onoria fairly recently, It was the seat of an ever growing empire, one that had risen out of the ashes of a great war, It’s current ambitions were to seek stability and power, so that they may never meet a defeat so terrible that it would bring them to the brink of death that they once were at.
Callahan had wanted to say something, Ollie’s plights had become to grow obvious to him, but he could not think of the words to maybe lighten the load on his heart, trial ahead was dangerous, and he didn’t want the man, regardless of how little he know of him to get hurt in the process, or worse get in the way and get one of them killed.
The fortress stood, barely, battered by war, and time. It was at the center of an ever-flowing spew of forgotten souls left behind, abandoned, no heaven seemed to want them. Their scattered essence remained, low to the ground as billowy green smoke, it rose ever higher as they had gotten closer, they were waist deep now standing at the entrance of a tragedy. These anima mires, home to contorted mockeries of life, amalgamations of souls with no where to go, they animate horrors and nightmares that mindlessly haunt these cursed lands.
Note: I definitely did a lot more narration based world building in these early chapters, I think that as I went on to write more, and got more familiar with just writing again in general, I let the characters themselves build the world with their words and actions, but I’d love to know if you think differently.
The three men had finally made it out of the rain and into what seemed to be a mess hall, the court yard had been scoured, but they saw no signs of wailers yet, the creatures preferred to linger deeper in the mire, where the concentration of anima was higher. “Well… I guess this might be where we part ways for awhile,” Ollie had unloaded the machine off his back, he tinkered with the buttons and nobs, preparing it for it’s function. A circular hatch opened at the center of the device, lights on its side started to flicker, a low whirring sound emnanted from it’s inner workings. The green fog had started to be sucked into the device, a soft green whirlwind, consumed by this strange contraption.
“That thing is gonna fill up fast, don’t you think? Does your Captain plan to send you on multiple trips?,” Callahan was intrigued by the device, it was a miracle that they were able stand where they were in the first place, most men, especially those unprepared would’ve died this deep in a mire, but now not only are they having a conversation safely in the middle of a caustic pit of despair, they’re harvesting it, “bunch of pebbles in there from the capital, sucks up anima like a sponge, it’ll be plenty enough” Ollie’s head never budged to look at Callahan, his gaze dead set on the device,
Callahan looked, tables and chairs, broken and destroyed lay all over the hall, the large fireplace collapsed in on itself, parts of the roof, missing, letting small streams from the outside storm to gently leak in. He saw Rowan, digging through the debris, looking for scratched marks on the wall, signs of a wailer’s hooked limbs clinging to the stone, strangely nothing. No other creatures of the mire lurked either. It was oddly, hauntingly peaceful still.
A crashing sound echoed through the hall, Rowan’s reckless rummaging had caused a small collapse of stone wall onto the floor, more damage to an already dilapidated room “I don’t think we’re gonna have much luck here,” Callahan called out to Rowan, worried his brother might cause the whole room to fall ontop of them if he kept searching as he did.
Rowan stepped away from his mess, and started to adjust his mask, “I wonder where they’re hiding? I thought we would have seen at least one by now,” He he gave a puzzling shrug to Callahan, “time to search the other buildings I guess, you ready Cal?”
Callahan looked over at the ever still Ollie, He silently gazed at the machine as it did it’s work, “You should come with us Ollie, Probably not a good idea for you to stay here alone,”
He shook his head, but once again didn’t even look in Cal’s direction, “It’s fine, go do your job,” Callahan was reluctant to resign and leave him alone, Things had been quite for now, but he thought to himself that maybe the wailers were just waiting for them to break a part, he didn’t want the guilt of this man’s life taken by the beasts because he was alone, nor the consequences of what might be if they made their way back to the ship without Ollie or the anima harvesting device in tow.
If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.
Note: I definitely did a lot more Explain the feeling in this chapter now that I’m reading it over again. I do hope that got better, I think it did personally, but I’m sure I still slip up now and again.
Rowan had come up to them both, still stationed by the device, “I don’t think you’re gonna change his mind,” Rowan said, nudging Cal with his elbow, “Cal won’t leave ya behind if I don’t at least try to get you to come with us, or convince him you’ll be fine, so” Rowan continued, strolling closer to Ollie and laying a firm hand on his shoulder, “so what do you say, come exploring with us, the machine doesn’t need you eye ballin’ like the captain making sure the deckhands are lazing about,”
Ollie looked at the two brothers, he could feel Rowan’s massive hand holding him firmly in place, though he couldn’t see their faces, he could feel the concern they both shared for his safety, It was something he felt he deeply did not deserve, He tried to drum up a sliver of confidence, reassurance, “I’ll be fine, Captain needs this job done, if I’m the only one without a full delivery I’ll be sippin sea water instead of ale.” A dry joke, he hoped it would work, that it would make them go on their way. Rowan withdrew his hand from his shoulder and patted both men on the back,
“All right see, he’ll be fine Cal, and we won’t even be long, a couple of towers, the barracks a barn, by the time we get back his machine will be full and we’ll have at least two wailers to throw over our shoulders.”
Callahan sighed, not convinced at all by either his brother or Ollie that leaving him behind was a good thing to do, but he knew the man was adamant, whatever was keeping him there, be it the Captain’s punishment or something deeper that he would not say, the job wouldn’t get done if they stood in the mess hall all day. And so they went to search the rest of the fortress, as the brother’s left the room, he watched closely, as the door closed behind him, Ollie, who had now taken a seat next to the device, almost looking like he was sulking.
The brothers, now one man short began their search of the other parts of the fortress, they did their best to try to stay under roofs and used connecting corridors to try to stay out of the ever pouring rain. They came across rusted weapons and decayed armor in the barracks, nothing worth taking as a trophy, the connecting halls were also all barren, and derelict like the rest of the fortress, no marks or symbols engraved on anything, wiped away to time it seemed, the stagnant anima having a decaying effect on most things, the barn, expectantly empty as well, no carcasses or even bones, melted away by the mire. In the spires they found collapsed staircases, no traces of Wailers there though, so they kept on going. On the higher floors of the largest building in the fort they found some bedrooms, probably for the higher ranking folks they thought. It wasn’t any nicer there than it had been anywhere else, although they did find a massive picture frame a top a wall where a bed might have been, the gold frame had been tarnished, any decals long eroded, the picture it once held also lost to time or war.
NOTE: I really meandered a lot, and I probably still do in later chapters lol, I sometimes feel like if I don’t stay too long in a scene or if I don’t describe enough things it’ll feel like the pacing is too fast, but damn reading this, I feel like the rewrite gets to the point much quicker.
“Gettin’ a lil worried we might go back empty handed,” Rowan had rested his hands on the back of his head, fingers clasped together, elbows pointed toward the ceiling, “Kiki’s gonna have a fit over the tab I’ll run trying to butter up Galvos if we do,” His words betrayed his lack of concern, Callahan knew he mostly just wanted to reminisce about his favorite bar, the lack of action seeming to bore Rowan a tad.
“You’re running a tab now,” It wasn’t so much of a surprise, Callahan knew his brother loved to mingle, It’s always how they managed to find the jobs that they did, though never did last past a gig or two, he was a little perturbed that Rowan was spending money they didn’t have “We’re supposed to be saving money you know, ma isn’t going to get better if you drink away our savings.”
Rowans demeanor swayed, less relaxed now, “what’s the supposed to mean?” the offense was slight but it could be heard, “I’m just saying, It took a lot of money to get to where we are already, and we haven’t made much in return, and ma is still at home sick and di” he couldn’t force the words out, his voice slightly rattled, he took a breath, “We don’t got all the time in the world, that’s all.” Under his mask Rowan’s brow furrowed, “I know that,” sliver of frustration clung to his words, “I do know that, you think I’m spending the money all willy nilly! I only spend when I think I can nail us down a job,” Rowan’s voice began to raise, they both still continued to walk the halls of the castle,
“You’d know it isn’t easy to get work if you ever left the room, you gotta earn people’s trust in the lower city” He continued, his voice rich with irritation, “The room, which just so you know, was given to us because of me,” He gave Cal a slight push, half playful, half annoyed, Cal stumbled a over the uneven stone, but caught himself before his fall, “You think I’m just sitting in the room doing nothing, Rowan?” tempers started to rise, a slight simmer from both brothers, “
“I’m trying my damned best to get a handle on the one useful thing I can do for us, every discarded book on the subject I can find I mull over for hours,” He took a breath, “It barely helps, and it’s not like we can practice near the city without being carted off to some far off battlefield, where we’ll probably be used as meat shields for Onorian soldiers.” Callahan raised his hands up in his frustration, Rowan, now regretfully, quietly watching, “And you know, it’s not like I thought coming here was that good of an idea in the first place, I’m no fighter, I should’ve stayed home, I could’ve helped Brig take care of mom. He turned his back on Rowan, head faced to the floor, both hands clasped around the back of his neck, “I don’t know why I’m even here…”
Callahan walked onwards, the both of them lost now in the bowels of the castle as a silence fell over their argument, “Y’know,” Rowan tried to cut through the tension, “Brig would probably kick us both for this,”
“You’d deserve it,” Callahan chided him, Rowan chuckled, “Maybe, wanna give it a go, see if I feel it,”
“Yeah, maybe when you’re not covered head to toe, in armor, and gear, I’ll get you when you least expect it” The mood between them began to soften, “Not sure where we are anymore, I thought we would’ve circled back by now,”
Note: this argument, in both rewrite and the edited version, I still second guess myself on this, but I really wanted to show that even when they’re mad at each other, they’re quick to forgive. And it is an unsaid forgiveness, they got a mission to do, and dumb stuff like this won’t phase them. Probably could improve on this still, even if I do think the rewrite’s fight is much better.
Callahan gave the surroundings a good gander, It was getting darker, “probably should light up a torch before we start tripping over ourselves like drunks,”
“wait,” a cold chill fell over Callahan’s voice, his hands desperately stopping Rowan from igniting the torch, far in the dark Callahan had spotted something, two silvery discs floating in the corner of the long hall that they had been scouring, Rowan stayed quiet, unaware at first, he looked in the direction that Callahan had been, “that’d be a tell tale sign if ever there was one,” Rowan whispered as soft as he could, without the mask completely muffling his words.
Cold eyes in the dark, they lurk in corners of castles and caves and attack with a screeching wail, some say the foul dissonant sound can bend reality like magic, disorienting its pray with illusions of their darkest nightmares, They were a lithe and anemic creature, spindly legs like a spider, elbows bent backwards and forewards, the ends of their limb pointed and sharp, with a ebony black claw that protruded from their grayish skin, their faces gaunt, eyes large and reflective like silver mirrors, ears pointed and torn, They were fast and deadly, and now the brothers had finally had their eyes on one.
NOTE: I was initially going to introduce all new creatures like this, sort of a Pokedex style description before the story resumed. But I cut it out of the rewrite and went for a more natural approach. I think if I ever decide to go more in depth with the creatures it might be with a dedicated chapter in Marcurio’s book.
Rowan was steady, an air of eagerness surrounded him, in one hand he had the black-out muzzle for the creature’s head, in the other, specialized wire to bind the creature’s legs. He forgoed drawing his weapon, although he couldn’t see the creature clearly, it was enough to gauge that compared to him, it was tiny, Callahan’s size maybe, he thought, he knew he could wrestle it to the ground and tie it up barehanded. The air around Callahan was not as confident, he fumbled with his weapon, trying his best to quiletly load a bolt without triggering an attack from the creature.
“You got this Cal, keep It steady,” Rowan words of encouragement were soft and low, their effect though questionable in it’s easing effect on Callahan’s shaken aim, he had the creature, locked in his sights, he had to make the shot in this case, The creature staring directly at them, it wouldn’t be possible for Rowen to get close to snag the prey. The bolts provided by the Kracken Callers were said to have a temporary paralyzing effect on creatures that spawn in the mire. All Callahan had to do was not miss. Rowan, slowly crept in, closer and closer, as Callahan adjusted his aim, his finger, ever so slightly touching the trigger of his bow.
NOTE: The paralyzing effect lol, I made this bullshit up right on the spot cause I had no idea at how I was going to explain how the normal Kraken Caller crew were supposed to handle these creatures without some sort of special magic, in the rewrite I made sure to mention them early, and in chapter 4 we find out that they were duds, but initially, it was just something I pulled out of my ass. I think personally over the chapters I’ve gotten a lot better at incorporating those sorts of Ideas though. Definitely far from perfect though.
The pressure built as he squeezed his hand around the crossbow’s trigger, the bolt, quick as a flash was released, it tore through the air silently cutting a path in the darkness towards the creature, quick is it was though the wailer was quicker, it’s ears twitched in reaction to the bolt being loosed from the crossbow. It’s body contorted itself evasively, dodging the bolt almost the exact second it would have pierced the creature’s flesh, the way it’s body twisted and turned to avoid the danger almost made it seem like it had no bones.
Note: You’re going to see “it’s” used incorrectly a lot in these rough unedited versions. It’s probably my most common typing error and I know I do it, but damn it, it’s hard to break the pattern.
“Shit shit shit, I’m sorry” Panic set in, Callahan rushed to set another bolt into his weapon, Rowan had already set off though, his sprint following quickly after the first shot was even loosed, the wailer had repositioned itself as it was before Callahan had fired, it’s throat now ballooning like a sickening boil. In the next instant it let loose it’s namesake, a bone rattling sound that no man should ever hear, it reverberated throughout the castles walls, it stopped Rowan dead in his tracks, he fell to one knee, his hands dropping what they held as he tried to stop the sound from flooding in his ears, Callahan’s crossbow and bolt were also fumbled as the sound crashed through every nerve in his body, he was on all fours, trying his best to regain his bow and bolt.
The legs of the wailer tensed and curled, it jumped from the wall onto the ground and skittered zig zag towards Rowan, still seemingly out of sorts. Callahan’s vision was cluttered, he had already had issues with the mask from the very start, but now dazed by the wailer’s screech and the room growing ever darker, no matter how much he scrambled his hands across the cold floor, he could not seem to find, in quick seconds it had cleared the distance of the room, once again curling it’s legs and tensing them for one final jump, the slow killing grapple, it would suck the life right out of Rowan who had still shown no sign of movement. It was midair, it’s sharp spindly legs, all pointed at Rowan, it would be a macabre embrace.
In just as quick an instant that the creature had once dodged Callahan’s bolt though, so to did Rowan’s massive hand spring from his side, like a fleshy tree trunk wrapped in steel and leather his opened palmed hand grabbed the creature mid flight, it’s head easily lost in giant palms. If the creature could look behind the black mask covering Rowan’s face it would see a devilish smile of satisfaction. Rowan pushed off the ground with the full strength of his core, the wailer’s body and limbs now limply following the trajectory of it’s grappled head, it was smashed, violently against the stone floor, Rowans hand, every more forcefully adding more and more pressure, sandwiching it between his hand the and very earth below, It’s legs now unburdened by the force of being pushed so violently back by Rowan’s attack, they squirmed, and shaked, they tried to pierce Rowan’s armor, they stabbed over and over, but it’s claws could not find purchase.
In desperate retaliation the wailer began to bloat once again, But Rowan’s other had wrapped around it’s neck, “Quiet you, no more screaming,” His voice was laced with satisfaction, All he needed now was to bind and muzzle the creature and one would be down, one step closer to a job complete. “Cal, you good? Bring me the muzzle, the wire, quick, Lil bastard is trying to bite through my gloves.”
Callahan had finally been able to catch his senses, he rushed to where Rowan had been dropped to his knee and grabbed the bindings and muzzle. “Here, damn, shut it up for good,” Callahan pressed his hands to is head trying to quell the pain. “Nah nah nah, can’t kill it, We’re taking this pup home, Aren’t we little guy, you’re gonna love the ship, and whatever pit they decide to put you, well it’ll surely be better than this place,” His voice, paused and hitched as he shoved the creatures head into the black muzzling hood, it’s legs now completely bound, It did it’s best to try to break free, writhing and wriggling, but it could not break it’s forced fetal like position.
The brothers stood side by side, a sense of euphoric victory washed over them, Rowan knelt down to match his brother’s height, his one arm flexed towards his brother, hand clenched in a fist pointed straight up, Callahan mirrored his stance, their elbows met, then both their fists, swung into eachother, It was their own little brotherly celebration, a family taunt and victory ritual.
“Well, two more to go I guess, you think it’ll be okay to just leave this thing here while we bag the other two?” the bonds looked strong but Callahan still was worried about leaving the creature unattended, Rowan had gathered some debris from around the room, he covered the creature with it, not enough to hurt it just to cover it and make it more easy to spot when they would make their way back, “It should be fine, ain’t like it can call for help, I guess Ollie might come down here though, steal our glory, the mopey bastard,” Rowan had a heightened energy in his voice, still coming off the rush of his victory. He finished placing the debris, marking the spot where the creature would struggle and wait for them to return, a lit torch left behind, they would not forget to grab the beast before leaving.
The brothers made their way to the end of the room where they first spotted the Wailer, now lit by a torch that Callahan was holding in his hand, there was a narrow entrance at the end of the room, it went down, deep and dark, etches and marks littered the walls, the signs that they had scoured the whole castle for before were now littered on the walls in abundance. “They must scurry in and out of this place a lot,” Callahan picked at the claw marks on the wall, “down we go then I guess,” Although they claimed one victory, the innumerable marks on the stone walls gave Callahan pause, he was worried about how many more there could be down there, one was a challenge enough, who knows what might happened if they get ambushed by five or ten.
“Down we go then, I guess.” He spoke more to himself than Rowan, his voice tense. Though they had claimed one victory, the sheer number of marks gave him pause. One Wailer was a challenge, but how many more might be waiting below? Five? Ten? He adjusted his grip on the torch, the knuckles of his free hand tightening at the thought.
NOTE: I’ll be leaving rephrased paragraphs in but if you think it’s too hard to read I’ll take them out in the future, Since this is very rough draft and now turning into a sort of commentated thing, It gives me a chance to talk more in the pink.
Rowan shifted his weight beside him, glancing at the darkness ahead before starting forward. “We got this, Cal.”
Callahan lingered for a moment longer, casting a glance behind them as if to make sure they hadn’t left anything behind. Then, with a deep breath, he followed his brother into the passage. The walls pressed closer as they descended, the air growing thick and still. The claw marks continued, stretching endlessly into the depths below.
The green fog that had once rested waist high was now far over their heads as they delved deep into the abyss, the narrow walls had started to grow wider now, the paved stone slowly becoming cave dirt the further they went. The environment now less man made than ever before. They kept quiet, the torch was already a dead give away to their position, but sound was a wailer’s main form of prey detection, the massive eyes, were more a weapon than a sensory organ. If they kept quiet, they should be able to get a jump on one, Cal especially had hoped that the next one wouldn’t be able to scream in retaliation again. His head still aching from the previous encounter.
Deeper the brothers delved, the trek almost as long as the one they walked to get to the fortress above, They must’ve been deep below the earth now, but what was this place, uphead a curious thing emerged from the dark, a faint glow, different from the light of the torch that reflected off the anima’s smokey texture. “Look at that, light on the walls,” Rowan whispered, “Looks like drawings,”
Callahan lowered his torch as they approached the glowing earth, the light had come from the carved lines, massive figures, what looked like men, in many poses were drawn on the walls, telling story the brother’s could not hope to decipher.
An arch of that same blue light could be seen further down, a beckoning entrance, with the figures on the wall almost seeming to walk in the very same direction. The brothers silently nodded to each other and followed the path, which once again seemed to have the touch of man guiding their footsteps. Passing the arch they now stood in a large circular amphitheater, the walls still lined with that glowing bluish hue, they criss crossed from the walls to the floor in arcane patterns that decorated a path onto a raised platform in the middle of the room, white marble pillars encircling a pedestal with some strange relic sitting in a transparent dome. They brothers were in awe, it was an inspiring site, they wondered who could build something so complicated and beautiful at such depths.
Excitedly Callahan began to ramble, “We, we gotta tell Galvos,” Rowan was a bit shocked, he didn’t think Callahan liked the Captain that much, “Huh, really?” he uttered in surprise, “Of course, Look at this place! Could you imagine what kind of stuff is down here?” The brothers continued to talk as they made their way towards the middle, “Who knows what kinds of valuable things are down here, what lost treasures, Rowan this might be it, This could be our big break, we could go back home if we tell him, he can get his men, we can explore it all together, No more begging in Onoria for work” Rowan’s eyes were wide behind the mask, happy to see his brother so enthused. They climbed the white marble stairs of the central platform, both eager to get a look at what strange thing was at It’s heart. Admiring the cerulean lines and swirls that marked the stairs and pillars around them.
They had now stood infront of the pedestal, the clear dome that encased the relic was spotless, untouched by dust or debris, pristine in away that nothing before it had been. Inside was a silvery orb, a green jewel in it’s middle, and those same blue cerulean lines swirled out from the jewel, like blood shot veins spreading out from the center of it’s jeweled pupil, it was an eye, at least that is what they both thought, a jeweled silvery eye, plucked from the socket of a dragon perhaps. Both stood, gobsmacked and without words once more, “Rowan… this, we’re.” Callahan couldn’t find the words, the future had never seemed brighter, “Cal, I know you don’t drink but… I mean, you can’t not celebrate with me,” They both looked at each other, their smiles could almost tear apart the masks they were wearing, in unison they cried out as quietly as they could “WE’RE RICH” the joy was overflowing, they wanted to yell out louder but they didn’t want to attract any unwanted guests.
“well little brother, I humbly bequeath to you the honor of claiming this treasure yourself,” Rowan preformed an exaggerated bow, teasing his brother forward to claim their long sought but unexpected prize, “Well I’ll humbly accept big brother,” he returned the bow, his hand reaching for the dome as he stood tall to claim his prize, it came open easily, the eye, resting now and easy for the taking. Callahan pinched the eye between his index and thumb, lifting it out of it’s suspended state from the pedestal.
He rolled it in his glove palm, wishing he could feel the metal on his bare skin, it had a good weight to it, and the details were a work of art, but something strange had begun to happen, as the eye left the pedestal, those blue cerulean lines that crisscrossed and marked the room began to recede, the once bright room gradually grew darker and darker, as if the energy of the room had begun to fade. “Uh oh, trap you think?” Rowan pondered, though he wasn’t completely worried,
Callahan, though showed a bit more concern, he tried putting the eye back on the pedestal to see if the light would return, but the result was failure. “Well… uh,” anxiety began to well in Callahan, “I mean we’re just gonna sell it anyway right, it’s fine, Galvos and the crew will have torches too, so we can still explore.” The room grew pitch black before they could light their torches. So dark that they couldn’t even see their hands in front of their faces. “Rowan you there?” He reached in the darkness frantically, finally finding his brother’s steeled arm to grab onto, “Scared of the dark?” Rowan teased, “Light a damn torch already, idiot” Callahan could hear Rowan giggling at his panic, but also the rustling of gear, Rowan was already searching for a torch and light.
Callahan scanned the darkness, and a nightmare began to emerge, two silvery discs on the ceiling, then four, six, eight, ten, the darkened ceiling seemed to become lit with stars… but it was obvious that they had not somehow been teleported under the night sky, “Rowan…” fear, thick, and choking, “look” Callahan nudged his brother too look up.
NOTE: I can’t for the life of me find the connecting paragraph. I usually don’t delete them so damn, that’s kind of annoying.
Rowan took the steps down, he would not lead the monsters to his brother , he lit all the remaining torches they had and spread them around the room, his brother need to see this, see him. His sledge now gripped tight in his hands, he was ready, he beat the hammer’s head against his steel chest. A taunt, “You got this, Cal!” Rowan let out a mighty roar, and the first Wailer descended, falling to the ground next to Rowan with a messy thud, without a second though, Rowan took a stance, swinging the hammer over his shoulder and down upon the creature’s head, this one was not coming back onto the ship, it was dead in an instant, more fell, from the ceiling descending upon Rowan, he kept his distance, he couldn’t grapple like he had the first one. He would dodge, then strike, a broken Wailer neck, here, crushed by his hand, a caved in wailer chest there, stricken with the mighty force of his hammer.
Crunches, and slams, dirt and stone being ripped from under him, Marble crashing to pieces under the weight of his hammer, but the worst had not happened yet. They started to bloat, not just one but many. Rowan dashed to one, crushing its throat before it could let out a wail, then he threw it at another to interrupt it’s screeching holler, but it became to much, One had finally let out a scream. Just as before, it was like being hit, but it was not only one, another joined the horrific chorus and then another, both brothers being wracked by the sound, it felt as though they were being run over by a stampede of hooved beasts.
Callahan writhed in pain, he felt as though his insides would vibrate to the point that they would turn to mush inside his body, but he persisted, he could not fall now, not when Rowan was doing his all to protect him, He looked out at his brother, the wailers had ceased their screeching, he saw rowan, he was still standing but barely, all his weight leaned against the shaft of his hammer, he was using it to keep on his feet.
A dark feeling welled in Callahan’s heart, the creatures slowly approached Rowan, they were cautious, he had killed so many of them now, that they respected the lethal range of his weapon, It seemed, they were not completely mindless after all. As they got closer, the vision began to form in Callahan’s head, that shadowy figure from his dream, it’s dark claws around Rowan’s throat, the fear spilled over, a panic set in, He had to do something, he wouldn’t let than man take his brother away from him “ROWAN,” He screamed, in quick reply, worried that the attention would be lost to Callahan’s outburst “QUIET CAL,” Rowan’s voice was ragged, the creatures closed in on him, there wasn’t much time, Callahan needed to see, “I can’t “ Callahan’s breathes were rapid and thin “I can’t see with this fucking mask on.” Without a thought for his own safety, nor care what may happened next, Callahan’s mask, the only thing keeping his lungs from being rotted away from the thick miasma of fallen souls was torn off, his eyes, locked onto his brother, a faint green glow pulsated from his iris, and in his mind swam visions of his brother, that fantasy of him conquering the Kracken from the Ryvakar channel played in his head, but in this vision he did not kill the Kracken, no, he merged with it, it’s limbs and body one with his brother’s mind, His many foes required many arms, Rowan would not fight completely outnumbered. Callahan held this vision in his mind, His eyed unwaveringly locked on his brother’ piercing through the armor, the flesh, the bone and into his soul.
NOTE: I did eventually learn how to spell Kraken. It still looks weird to me without the C
A pulse shook Rowan to his feet, in came from so deep inside him, he knew it was time, it was happening again, “Give it your all Cal, I can take it,” he whispered to himself, He could feel his own flesh bubbling underneath his armor, it was a strange feeling, not completely painful, but not entirely pleasant either. One brave wailer had seen its moment to attack, it launched what should’ve been Rowan’s end. The creature didn’t even make it within strike range of Rowan’s hammer, it’s neck now strangled by a gargantuan tentacle burst forth from Rowan’s back. It tried to wail, but the might of the sea devil choked the unholy life out of it.
The assault commenced in full force by the wailers once more, some trying to regale the brother’s with another chorus of dread, but more and more tentacles of the kracken sprouted out from Rowan, silencing any would be wailer from ever making another sound again. Rowan began a proactive offense now, with a plethora of limbs to hold debris and fallen pillars as weapons. No longer needing to dash all over the amphitheatre to put down the creatures for good.
Callahan’s focus, though strong at first began to waver, his lungs filling with caustic anima, He stumbled a bit, his vision blurring, Rowan yelled over to him “Cal put your mask back on, Get out of here, you’ve done your part, go go go,” The words echoed in Callahan’s ears, but he wasn’t sure if they were real or not, Rowan looked like a blur, he cast aside one wailer after another, some being crushed into the floor by these massive limbs forged by the sea, wielding columns of marble like they’re made of paper, An veritable army was falling before his brother, all the while his lungs began to fill with fluid.
With what little clarity remained in his mind Callahan made a run for it, his brother crushing and thrashing any Wailer that tried to impede Callahan’s path. He made it past the arches, and manage to keep pace with a surprising amount of speed down the hall with the giant men carved into the rock, The sounds of the battle were growing distant, any straggling wailer would hopefully still be drawn into it, and if they dared follow their appetite they’d only be met with absolute destruction.
It was getting harder now, his breaths labored, he was drowning in the mask, He was lost in the dark, what way was the way back, he didn’t know anymore, he wanted to scream, but he couldn’t muster the energy. He fell, face first into the dirt. His breathing began to slow, he couldn’t even feel the panic racing through him anymore, he just felt tired. He felt lighter, he thought, like he could drift away at any moment, his fingers dug into the ground, as if holding onto the earth would keep him grounded in this life, a thought lingered in his mind, I don’t want it to end, not yet.
A light started to shine all around him, he didn’t even know anymore if it was real or if is death throws were causing him to hallucinate. It was beautiful all the same, those crisscross patterns had come back, illuminating the ceiling of the cave, he could never have guess that the patterns stretched out this far. A regretful though began to form in his mind though, I hope ma doesn’t cry, I hope Rowan brings her back the necklace she gave me. What a silly thing to think about.
Under his arms he felt the weight get even lighter, like something was lifting him up. Was this it? Was his soul leaving his body? His eyes began to close, back rising a bit off the floor, My soul must be leaving my body, he thought, it feels nice… I want to let go, I’m so tired. His lower back and legs seemed to still scratch and scrape along the dirt. He thought to himself, I guess I’m bottom heavy, an unheard chuckle, one that couldn’t possibly escape his lungs.
Callahan took one final glimpse of the living world, the light still following beneath him. It softly illuminated a masked figure hovering over his face. It can’t be Rowan, he thought, I can still hear… feel him fighting. His eyes were to heavy to open now, they closed for what he thought would be the final time. As he drift of, an unfamiliar voice rang out in the darkness of his mind, The Accord will not only bend for you, It will break. He didn’t what it meant, not whose voice said the words, His consciousness was at it’s last thread. Rowan…
FINAL NOTE: So this was the first chapter, took me awhile to rearrange all the paragraphs so they weren’t all over the place, but yeah… it’s interesting re-reading this, especially after the rewrite. I think the Raw rewrite is just much better overall, I think the practice throughout 16 chapters really helped, and just discussing how to get better with the AI was also a boon. Chapter looks like an even bigger mess so… might be a bit, but anyway I hope you enjoy this format of commentated chapters.