For the first time in far too long, I didn’t wake up screaming. I was warm, happy, safe. I rubbed the hand that wrapped around my belly, drawing a contended sigh that tickled my ear. ‘Slow’, what a joke. How close had either of us come to dying yesterday? A wrong move talking to Phir Sē, or his teleporter getting through my projection like the Siberian had… I shifted back, pressing closer to Amy. It was fine, we’d both survived, we still had each other.

  “Hey,” Amy mumbled sleepily.

  “Hey,” I whispered back. “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up.”

  “S’okay,” she said, planting her lips on my head. “Nice to wake up like...this.”

  “Yeah,” I sighed, running a thumb over her knuckles. Her hand shifted, brushing up the hem of my shirt and under it. I shivered as her hand trailed up, heart leaping into my throat, then grabbed her. “Hey, um…”

  “Sorry,” Amy said, pulling her hand away. “Sorry I didn’t mean to—”

  “It’s okay,” I said quickly. “Um, breakfast?” She held me a little tighter.

  “Five more minutes.”

  I didn’t put up a fight over that, just settled back and enjoyed being held. Her hands didn’t wander anymore, and I quickly found myself dozing comfortably. It wasn’t like I didn’t like her like that but… I was a mess, still exhausted despite the clock telling me we’d been sleeping for eight hours, and jittery as hell. I jiggled my foot as sleep slipped away, unable to keep still.

  Amy let me go a moment later, groaning and rolling over. I took my signal and slipped out of bed, shifting and fixing my sweats before padding quietly to the kitchen. Six...at night. Well, as good a time as any for breakfast. I cut a few slices of bread, then set up the coffee maker and toaster. A few minutes later, I brought the coffee over and put the cups down on the bedside table. Amy sat up, bleary eyed with her shirt hanging off one shoulder. I smiled and quickly fetched our toast, then sat beside her.

  “Thanks,” Amy said, staring into her mug of coffee.

  “You’re welcome,” I said, cocking my head. “You okay?”

  “I’m sorry about earlier,” she said in a rush. “I should have asked first and—” I cut her off with a peck on the lips, then pulled back and shook my head.

  “It’s okay,” I said. “Really. Just...I’m all messed up still. You know we could have died today? I just...yeah, I can’t really focus on it being nice or anything because my heart gets racing and then it’s too hot and I’m right back there.” I grimaced. “Like the Crater Lake? Makes my skin crawl um, you remember how I got hurt?”

  “Yeah,” Amy said hoarsely. “But...it wasn’t bad?”

  “I guess not,” I replied, shrugging. “Just too much for me to deal with, sorry. I keep wondering like...what would I have done if you didn’t make it? And what if I didn’t make it?” I swallowed and set my cup down on the bedside table so my shaking hands didn’t drop it. “It’s...yeah.”

  “You’d be okay,” she said, an arm slipping behind my back. I sighed and leaned into her. “You’re strong, smart, a good hero and...and you’d come back for me. You promised.”

  “Not exactly good at keeping those,” I muttered.

  “I trust you,” Amy said firmly. “And I know you’ll come back every time. Every time you do I’ll, I’ll be right here with you.”

  I didn’t get exactly what she meant, but the intensity got me. A trembling smile crossed my face and I pulled Amy into a sudden kiss, tears falling from my eyes. We broke apart as a huff of laughter escape my mouth, and I soon found myself resting on her shoulder, half-laughing, half-sobbing. I was terrified to lose her, but the promise that I wouldn’t was intoxicating. I wished it were true, I knew it wasn’t, but I loved that she tried.

  “Thanks,” I sniffled when I finally recovered enough to speak. “I’ll always be here for you too, I’ll...I’ll always try and come back safe.”

  “I know you will,” Amy said, taking my hand and kissing my cheek. “Even if you can’t...come back anyway okay?”

  “What?” I shot her a look. “Like… I don’t think ghosts are real, Amy.”

  “Yeah duh,” she countered. “I mean like, with your powers.” I blinked.

  “My powers,” I said slowly. “I… Amy, I have a projection wrapped around my skin. It’ll help me come back safe but it’s not exactly perfect.”

  “I know,” Amy said, giving me an annoyed look and lowering her voice. “I mean the other part? The...dying and coming back?”

  “What?” I cocked my head. “Since when can I do that?”

  “You told me you—”

  “Amy,” I cut her off. “I...I’m always going to do my best to come back to you. I don’t want to die and if… And if I do…” I swallowed hard, my heart pounding. “Can we please talk about something else?” I hated how small my voice was, how small it made me feel. She stared at me for a moment, then looked down at our hands.

  “You’re not…” She trailed off, frowning, then shook her head. “Sorry, I thought you… No, I must have been wrong, or misunderstanding or… Hold on, you remember what I did, don’t you?”

  “To Victoria?” She nodded and I did too. “Yeah it was… I mean, it’s pretty fucked up, making your sister love you. But you put it right, fixed your mistake, saved her life.”

  “No I mean…” Amy swallowed and looked at me with eyes full of tears. “What was I going to do? If I didn’t stop, you told me I would have done… I don’t know, something bad, something worse.”

  “I uh…” I stared blankly. Had I? It sounded familiar, maybe something I said when I was trying to convince her to heal Victoria. Worse than making her sister love her though? I couldn’t imagine. “I don’t know, and honestly I really don’t want to think about it. You’re not a bad person Amy, I think you’d have stopped before going much further.” Probably. If I hadn’t gone out there to help her though? A small sigh escaped Amy’s lips.

  “Okay,” she said, voice small. “I think… Lia did I ever tell you what I saw in your head, after that therapy?”

  “I don’t think so,” I said. “Please tell me it’s not a tumour, I kind of want to live.”

  “No it’s…” She frowned. “Your brain was all messed up, like the hippocampus was scrambled, you had engrams literally occupying the same physical space as other ones.”

  “The hippocampus? Doesn’t that control like, body temperature?”

  “That’s hypothalamus,” Amy grumbled. “Hippocampus is your memory center, engrams are the actual structures that let you remember stuff. Anyway, yours...I’d never seen anything like it. No idea what to do or who to tell, I talked to Doctor Yamada a little about it but that’s all. Now it’s...normal.”

  “That’s good isn’t it?” I asked.

  “I guess so.” She didn’t sound satisfied. “I wish I knew what made it happen though, and when. I wonder...you got eaten by Echidna, remember?” A forest of fleshy tendrils, reaching out then curling away like they’d been burned. I blinked and swallowed, wondering why my heart rate had suddenly doubled.

  If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

  “Y-yeah,” I stuttered.

  “Sorry,” Amy apologized, running her fingers through my hair. “Just...maybe she scrambled your brain up, did something to it. Scion must have fixed you when he went after you; a lot of capes around when he came down got healed, literally right in front of me. I guess you were one of them.”

  “O...kay.” I wasn’t exactly sure how to respond to the revelation that I’d apparently had some crazy brain damage that Scion had miraculously fixed by chasing me down and cornering me in a ruined alley. “So...I’m okay?”

  “Yeah,” she said, her shoulders slumping. “Sorry to get so worked up it’s just…”

  “You’re worried about me,” I finished, kissing her cheek and nuzzling against her neck. “Thank you. Um, maybe next time my brain is scrambled like an egg, you tell me?”

  “I will,” Amy promised. “God...sorry, I kind of fucked up our morning.”

  “No you haven’t,” I disagreed, grabbing my mug and taking a sip of coffee. “First it’s like, six at night. Second, I woke up with you, which was a pretty great start if I’m honest.” I grinned at Amy’s blush. “And now I know my brain’s healthy, so like, it’s fine.”

  “When did you become an optimist?” she mumbled.

  “I guess when I found out Endbringers could die,” I said simply. “If that can be done...hell, I don’t know, I feel like we can actually win.”

  “I wish I could feel that hopeful.”

  “I’m sorry you can’t,” I replied, bringing a hand up and gently rubbing the back of her neck. “So I’ll just have to be hopeful enough for the two of us.” She let out a huff of a chuckle.

  “Thanks.” Amy took a deep breath and pulled away. “Anyway, eat your breakfast and let’s figure out what we’re doing today...tonight.”

  I grabbed my plate and dug in, leaning against Amy with a smile on my face.

  “So we’re changing our routes again,” Clockblocker began, gesturing to a map of the city projected on the screen. Most of the downtown core, the North End, and from Westwood out to Captain’s Hill were highlighted in shades of green to yellow. The rest of the city was anywhere from orange to black. “Not one step in anything red, and if you’re in the orange zones get out.”

  “Why?” I asked, cocking my head. “South and east both have a shitload of Nazis still, if you haven’t noticed.”

  “Which is why we aren’t going there,” he said, shaking his head. “Since splintering, Wotan’s Wolves and Werwolf have been getting more violent. Seems they aren’t as interesting the new rules we’re floating. But considering that, the director has basically told us to let the Protectorate handle it.”

  “They still think we’re kids after all this?” Vista scoffed, and I couldn’t help but agree.

  “No, our job is to cover everything else,” Clockblocker countered. “Only so many of us, and we only have so much time, but these places are pretty safe and so far the villains are sticking to the agreement they made. The Protectorate handles the worst of it, but we’ll definitely have our hands full. Win, Autumn, Crucible, you’re all on solo patrols during the weekends. Vista and Amaranth, you’re a pair until that hearing goes ahead.” I rolled my eyes.

  “Fine,” I said with a sigh. “Tell me the heroes are at least taking the gloves off?”

  “They’ll handle it how they handle it,” he replied, eyeing me. “And we’ll handle it according to the rules.”

  Yes sir,” I spat.

  “It’s a little messed up they won’t let us help,” Crucible said. “But it makes sense. So who we dealing with, Ambassadors, Undersiders?”

  “Both,” Clockblocker said with a nod. “Accord bit it in New Delhi, but with their alliance with the Undersiders his gang didn’t fall apart. Maybe wouldn’t have anyway, but we can consider them all a team. Might be a new gang in Westwood as well, there have been tags for a group called ‘Farside’ but we haven’t seen any new parahumans. Cops are keeping tabs, but if you run into an unknown cape and they’re looking at you weird, back off and call it in. If they want to talk, talk. If they pick a fight, retreat til backup gets there.”

  “Wow it really is kid duties,” I muttered to Vista.

  “I know,” she replied quietly as Autumn asked about what we were supposed to do if the Undersiders cornered us. “Fucking Krieg and his little follow-ons seem like nothing compared to Behemoth.”

  “They’re really nothing,” I agreed. “Hookwolf ran off with the Nine and he was most their firepower anyway.”

  “Hey, you two done your little girl talk?” Clockblocker said, raising his voice. “You know it’s kind of important you know how to deal with the locals, right Amaranth?”

  “If I run into Tattletale, shut her up, if I run into Grue, stand still. Bitch, grab the dog’s uvula and squeeze til it pops.” I rolled my eyes. “Except none of that because we’re trying to put things on ice. So report it, talk if it sounds important, and disengage otherwise. That about it?”

  “So you actually going to do any of that?”

  “I literally did a few days ago,” I retorted, gesturing to Autumn. “She was there. No fight, just a talk and then backing off.” An intense talk. Couldn’t remember exactly what it had been but I remembered being high-strung after.

  “Well, you did grab Tattletale’s mouth at one point…” Autumn, the traitor, said. She didn’t mention the slap, though.

  “Cheating on Pandora already?” Clockblocker said dryly.

  “That was the ‘shut her up’ tactic because sometimes she needs to listen, not talk.” I sighed and shook my head. “Anyway, it wasn’t a fight, we just hashed things out and buried the hatchet on Skitter.”

  “On Skitter?” Vista asked, a note of interest in her voice.

  “No, about me arresting her and, by extension, killing her.”

  “That wasn’t your—”

  “We’re going to have to agree to disagree Clock because the Undersiders feel different.” I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. “But, I think they won’t come after me anymore, as long as I play by the rules. And I’m going to.”

  “Well, we’ll see what happens,” Clockblocker said with a shrug. “So you specifically then are going to disengage if you see a bit of purple spandex or smell a wet dog.”

  “Sure thing captain,” I said, giving him a mock salute. “Can we get on with the meeting? ‘Future threats’ sounds like a more important topic than me agreeing to follow the rules.”

  The briefing moved on and I sighed, wondering when people would actually start believing that I was going to try.

  “Amelia, may I speak with you a moment?” Amy and I both paused and turned to our teacher, Mrs. Flowers, making her sigh. “I’m sorry, Miss Lavere you may go, Miss D’souza.” She gestured to a seat.

  Amy gave me a worried look but I just shook my head and gave her a smile. Whatever problems here would feel like small potatoes, really. My hearing was tomorrow, and I’d get to find out just what ignoring Clockblocker’s calls had earned me. That whole day was blurry, but I vividly remembered feeling sick to my stomach when Dragon outed Skitter to me. I agreed to help her because of that, though ‘help’ was a stretch.

  “Amelia, are you doing alright?” I blinked at my teacher’s blunt question.

  “I guess?” I replied with a shrug. “Work’s a bit stressful, but I’m okay.”

  “You’re working?” I swore silently at the slip.

  “Sort of,” I hedged. “Cleaning up the city, that’s it.”

  “I see,” she said flatly. “And your parents?” I shook my head and she frowned. “I’m very sorry Amelia. I’ll be frank, right now, you’re not on track to pass this class.” I sighed.

  “I’m crap at math,” I grumbled. “Sorry, I’ll try harder.” Or at all. I hadn’t looked at my homework from the last three days. They gave us til Friday to finish it all...til tomorrow.

  “Can I help you at all?” Mrs. Flowers asked, her brow creasing. “Do you need a place to stay, or food? I don’t have much but I rode out Leviathan alright.”

  “I’m fine,” I answered, a little sharper than I meant. “Sorry. I promise I’ll try harder.” She checked her watch.

  “If you have time, I can give you fifteen minutes after classes to help you with anything you don’t understand,” she offered. “There are a few students who need it, and I’m happy to offer what I can.”

  “I…” I paused, considering it. If I failed, I’d be doing a repeat year. The Wards would be pissed that my grades were slipping, so that would get tougher. And Amy would be moving on without me. “Okay, sure. Is it in here?”

  “After the final bell, yes,” Mrs. Flowers said, offering a small smile. “I look forward to seeing you, and hopefully seeing you succeed.”

  “Um, thanks Mrs. Flowers.” I shifted in my seat. “Can I go?”

  “Yes, enjoy lunch,” she said, her smile widening a little. “I’ll see you later.” I nodded and rose from my chair.

  “What was that about?” Amy asked when I joined her in the hall.

  “Oh um.” My cheeks burned. “Just a fuckup, like usual. Flunking math.”

  “Sucks,” she offered as we started towards the cafeteria. “Do you need a hand? I’m not exactly a genius but I’m doing okay.”

  “No I… Mrs. Flowers is going to, after school today.” I sighed. “Sorry. You don’t have to wait or anything, I won’t be that far behind you anyway.”

  “Maybe,” she replied. “Depends on the day I guess. My...new job starts next week. I’ll be on call at work three days in the week after school. Plus my regular stuff too.”

  “Ah, right,” I said; the PRT. I guess she was being cagey since technically she wouldn’t be there as Amy, or Panacea. “Seriously though, don’t sweat it. I got myself into this mess, you shouldn’t be stuck in it with me.”

  “I want to hang out with you,” Amy muttered, her cheeks colouring. “Sure it won’t be fun, but neither would riding the bus alone, or turning on the TV and tuning out for an hour.” I smiled and grabbed her hand.

  “You’re sweet,” I said, making her flush further. “Thanks. Don’t blame me if you hate it though.”

  “Never would,” she said quickly.

  I looped my arm through hers and walked to the cafeteria with a smile on my face.