Palinoia. That’s a word I don’t like.

  Palinoia, the obsessive or compulsive repetition of an act until it is perfect or master.

  That’s a word that I don’t like describing me.

  It’s a word no one says, or knows. A word that confines me, keeps me on a short leash.

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  No one can be perfect, so I don’t like the word

  I want to be perfect, so I don’t like the word

  It must be perfect. Must run flawlessly. “Just go with the flow” Everyone will say. “Stop being so tight.” Everyone will joke.

  It’s not a joke.

  I don’t like this word, and I don’t want it swimming in my head.

  “Out.” I’ll shout, but that’s just Palinoia. I want all of it out. I want my brain to be perfect without the word so I repeat.

  There is no way Palinoia can get out