This goddamn war, the smell of blood soaking through the clothes of soldiers who are fighting.. no one knows what for in reality. They 're just little dolls for goverment to play with. The sweat, the bombs taking their victims everyday for god knows how long. It was all happening fast, everyone too tired to fight back, too silent to talk back to the leaders. The only way out was to.. die..? What we were fighting for in the end? For better life? How is this better life? How pathetic are the people in this century..

  I had a lover, long time ago, his name was Jack, the most cheerful man I knew. Dark brown hair, greyish-blue eyes, soft cupid smile. Lighter skin with little details like freckles and few small scars from the teenage years decorated his delicate youngful face. How I loved him, he was always so cheerful and happy, even if it was just a few little things like a cat, flower, or just a forehead kiss?

  The letters from him when he wrote them to me, oh how I loved to read them and correct his mistakes in them. He was native German, he didn't know much English due to the school that was in their Empire, it was too poor. But he still managed to make me smile with his sweet talks.

  His spark in eyes when I visited him on the train station, how he looked happy.

  It's all gone by now, I'm standing now in the front lines in the middle of war, the most bloody war so far in the history. I was the enemy of my lovers side, He was German, I'm British.

  I'm clenching the gun hard, the hands too weak after all this time, the wounds and bruises all over the aching body. It hurts.. it hurts!! And then I saw him, the love of my life, limping with an open wound on his abdomen, someone shot him, my eyes glanced behind me, other soldier was aiming at him, all I could think of was.. how it all happened in the first place. I ran to him, at least that's what I tried to do before the soldier could shoot him. The firing sounds from the British and German soldiers loud as other soldiers ran behind me and Infront of me, to get into closer hidings to get a better view on the opposite side.

  I managed to get to him in time, his spark in eyes faded as he clenched his clothes around the wound. I tried to stop it, but he showed my hand away. "Why? Why are you pushing me away?!" I yelled with a higher, panicked voice. He just clenched his teeth as his hand released slightly his uniform. How I hated the sight of him like this.

  This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

  The life was slowly fading away from his eyes as he slowly drifted into a deep slumber I tried to bandage the wound, but other soldiers.. others.. took me away from him as he laid there lifelessly, before I could say goodbye to my lover. It hurt to leave him by himself. It all felt like a dream, it didn't feel real at all. It all didn't set right.. his body was burned with others, it wasn't proper burial, it wasn't right. How I hated to see his body vanish in those powerful red-orange flames and the smoke with smell of death burying in my senses for life. The bones with each other. When the war finally ended, it wasn't all the same, I was too tired, I saw all the crying faces when their loved ones didn't come back, the screaming and crying made my heart ache. That's not how it should've ended.

  After long, long years..

  I got married, not to a man, like I really wanted to, I married a woman, she was beautiful, but it wasn't something I craved in my life. It felt strange.. but I managed to get used to it, and then.. we had kids, they were saints, blonde hair, eyes like their mother's. The world wasn't THAT bad at all when you knew how to work with it. I always kept HIS photo in my wallet, I loved her dearly, but it wasn't something I always wanted. We weren't rich, but not poor, we lived just good. It was small farm that we lived on, the kids were behaved well and It felt like a nice change from the cold war..

  Now, my kids are grown up, my wife died long time ago, the dear kids of mine were sitting around me, their eyes swollen from crying. I took a few shaky breaths as I laid in my bed, I knew this was the end. And with my last words, I told them the story of The Sick War. It was brutal war and life, my kids deserve the best, the same their kids, and mine grandchildren. How I loved them, but I knew the love of my life was waiting for me there. I took my last breath and closed my eyes. Everything was peaceful after that.

  I was buried in a veteran graveyard, beside other millions of soldiers that died. I never knew where his body was buried, if it was buried because of the mixed bones back then. The world wasn't the same after the cold war between Empires.

  Note:

  Many people and jews died in those long 6 years and no one really knows what will happen in future, but the past should be kept in mind and be reminded to know, there WERE homosexual soldiers and people, just hidden in those 'Best Friends'. They never got their end. The same is with Women and Men and their love that was torn apart by the death. It's always better to know the past and fight for not having to be those crying people on graves of their loved ones who died in cold war and see them die.

  It's better to fight against the things you don't like rather than cry or be the one who's buried in the ground with a flowers around grave..