Steam coiled around me like a ghostly bnket as I leaned against the warm tile, letting the water cascade over my newly restored physique. Still half in awe of my transformed body—and the seven tattoos that burned like divine branding—I figured things couldn't get any weirder than hearing voices in my head.

  I was wrong.

  DING!

  A new screen smmed into existence like a pop-up ad from hell, hovering inches from my face.

  ?

  [FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: QUEST LOG]

  Name: Kane

  Title: Bearer of the 7 Cardinal Sins

  Level: [1]

  Current AP: [0]

  ?

  [ACTIVE QUESTS]

  1. Quest Title: "The Lustful Sin of Making Up for Lost Time"

  ? Objective:

  Get your sword in working order and re-explore oneself.

  ? Quest Giver:

  Magnum Opus

  ? Location:

  Personal Chambers, Shower Hall.

  ? Quest Details:

  Magnum Opus has gifted you one of your greatest desires. I have made you whole again. It is now that you give in to your desires and do what you could not during your early teenage years.

  ? Primary Objective:

  1. Fapp to your heart's desire.

  ? Rewards:

  ? +150 General Fulfillment Points (FFP)

  ? +250 Fulfillment in the Lust Authority

  ? Time Limit:

  45 minutes before Yuhana returns

  ? Failure Consequences:

  ? Incurring the wrath of the kingdom's strongest warrior

  ? Potential deduction of 300 Fulfillment Points

  ?

  [COMPLETED QUESTS]

  None. Yet. Scker.

  ?

  [QUEST NOTES]

  ? Quests can influence Fulfillment in specific Authorities based on actions taken.

  ? Optional objectives may yield additional rewards and Fulfillment boosts.

  ? Time-sensitive quests require prompt attention to avoid negative outcomes.

  ?

  I stared at the screen. Then read it again. Then blinked. Slowly.

  "No," I said aloud. "No way in hell."

  "YES WAY!" chirped Magnum Opus, his smug digital voice practically vibrating with glee. "You asked for a second chance at life. What better way to start than making up for lost stroking time? I even set a timer!"

  A blinking 45-minute countdown began in the upper corner of the screen.

  I looked around the bath like someone had installed hidden cameras. "You're serious."

  "I restored your manhood, Kane. The least you can do is give it a proper test drive."

  "...You are a perverted little god program."

  "Takes one to know one~"

  I should've felt vioted. Offended, even.

  Instead, I sighed. "Screw it. Not like I've had peace and privacy in twenty years. If this is my first quest, I might as well ace it."

  I dried off, went into my private chamber, locked the door with the kind of paranoia honed from years of being hunted, and threw myself on the plush bed like I was about to wrestle a demon.

  "Alright, little Kane," I muttered, staring down at my restored pride. "Let's make some memories."

  Time passed. Blissfully. Awkwardly. Heroically.

  I explored every twisted fantasy that prison suppressed. I gave myself the royal treatment. Imagined goddesses. Rivals. Even one weird fantasy involving a succubus and a cactus—but let's not unpack that.

  I was halfway through a celebratory cigarette (don't ask where I got it) when the system dinged.

  ?

  [QUEST COMPLETE!]

  Quest: The Lustful Sin of Making Up for Lost Time – COMPLETED

  Objective: Relieve twenty years of repressed hormonal rage – COMPLETE

  Bonus Objective: Surpass average mortal stamina levels – COMPLETE

  Time Remaining: 00:01:37

  ?

  [REWARDS GRANTED]

  ? +150 General Fulfillment Points

  ? +250 Fulfillment in Lust Authority

  ? +1 Hidden Bonus: "Post-Nut Crity" – Minor mental resistance to seduction effects for 1 hour.

  System Comment: "Congratutions! You've officially lost your fantasy world masturbatory virginity. The gods are proud. Probably."

  ?

  I flopped back on the bed, panting, drained, and vaguely victorious.

  "Well... that happened," I said to the ceiling. "I guess I'm a real adventurer now."

  As if on cue, a knock came at the door. Then the unmistakable thump of cloth hitting the floor.

  I peeked outside and found a neatly folded outfit—a jet-bck tunic with golden trim, boots, and some tight-looking pants. They even included a silver neckce with a lion emblem.

  "How thoughtful," I muttered, sarcasm thick. "They dress you up real nice after jerking off in their guest room."

  I got dressed quickly, wiping any trace of guilt—or lube—from my skin. Just as I buckled the st strap—

  CLACK.

  The door opened.

  And there she was.

  Yuhana. Towering. Glowering. Arms crossed, a single brow arched so high it could've scraped the ceiling.

  "I take it you've... freshened up," she said ftly.

  "Fresh as a daisy," I replied, smirking. "Thanks for the clothes. Very breathable."

  She didn't smile.

  "Follow me," she ordered, turning sharply.

  I exhaled slowly and followed, trying not to look guilty as sin. Which, considering the tattoos, was basically impossible.

  Yuhana walked ahead of me, her stride so precise it looked like the sand parted out of respect. I followed a few paces behind like a particurly sarcastic dog on a short leash.

  She didn't look at me when she spoke. "The Council has decided that Scion and Enora will be tutored by the kingdom's finest. Spirit magic, Saharan weaponry, history... the works."

  "How thoughtful," I said. "So they get Hogwarts and I get the cold shoulder?"

  She continued like I hadn't opened my mouth. "They will be trained in both practical combat and theoretical knowledge—by the most respected minds of our nation."

  "Let me guess. Those same minds were like, 'Whatever you do, don't help the suspicious murdery one with demonic tattoos.'"

  She stopped walking. I almost bumped into her broad back.

  "They issued a silent order," she said ftly. "No instructors are to engage you. No training. No guidance. They still believe you're the Second Demon King."

  "Well... I am rocking the whole 'Bearer of the Seven Cardinal Sins' thing. Real PR nightmare."

  She turned and looked down at me, eyes like twin sandstorms. "So I'll be your instructor instead."

  I blinked. "You?"

  "I thought you wanted to kill me."

  She gave a rare, dry chuckle. "I do."

  "So this is forepy?"

  She ignored that. "The princess personally requested that I train you."

  I arched a brow. "The princess, huh? I think I heard someone call her... Amira?"

  Yuhana stopped walking and turned fully to face me. Her expression hardened.

  "She is Princess Amira to you," she said, voice as sharp as the scimitars at her sides.

  "Right. Capital 'P.' Noted."

  "She's a kind soul," Yuhana continued. "Unlike me. I would happily watch a dragon eat you."

  "Charming."

  "She wants to help people," she said bitterly. "Even the ones everyone else has already given up on."

  I tilted my head. "Would I be allowed to speak with her?"

  Suddenly the air shifted.

  Yuhana didn't even move, but I felt it—killing intent. Thick enough to drink.

  "You will stay away from the princess," she said, voice low and deadly. "I've seen the way your lustful eyes follow her. She is an untouched desert flower in this kingdom. And you are a desert rat."

  "Desert flower?" I asked, incredulous. "What are we, in a romance novel?"

  She narrowed her eyes. "She has a weakness for broken things. Do not mistake that kindness for invitation."

  I opened my mouth to press her further—but thought better of it. I may be a hitman, but I wasn't suicidal. Not today.

  We walked in silence until we reached a domed sandstone building, partially sunken into the desert floor. The entrance was marked by curved bdes forming an archway.

  Inside, it was cool and dim. The weapon hall. Rows upon rows of racks stood like steel soldiers, dispying swords, axes, bows, spears—everything short of lightsabers.

  Yuhana walked ahead, then turned to the rack and pulled down two curved scimitars.

  "These are mine," she said. "Now pick a weapon. Any weapon. I can train you in all of them."

  I walked through the racks slowly, eyes scanning.

  Daggers. There they were—simple, rugged, practical.

  I picked them up. Felt their weight. Banced nicely. Efficient. Silent. My kind of tool.

  Then I rolled my eyes.

  "Too many damn anime protagonists use daggers these days. Brooding assassins with daddy issues and plot armor. It's overdone."

  I tossed them back onto the rack.

  Yuhana's eyebrow twitched.

  "I was actually trained in all sorts of weapons back on Earth," I muttered. "Had to be. Even did fencing at the Company. Strictly recreational... but I kicked some ass."

  I made my way over to a straight sword, its silver edge pin but cleanly forged. Picked it up. The bance felt right—sturdy but light, like it belonged in a duelist's grip.

  DING!

  ?

  [FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: INVENTORY SCREEN]

  Name: Kane

  Title: Bearer of the 7 Cardinal Sins

  Level: [1]

  [EQUIPMENT]

  ? Weapon: Average Crafted Saharan Straight Sword

  ? Name: [Saharan Straight Sword]

  ?

  I waved my hand through the screen and it vanished like mist.

  I stretched, rolled my shoulders, and turned to Yuhana.

  "Alright, Blood Eagle. What now?"

  "Come at me," she said, spinning her scimitars once in a blur of steel. "With the intent to kill. I want to see how serious you are."

  "You sure? I've been known to hurt feelings."

  "Try it."

  I did.

  I charged. I used everything I had—speed, precision, instinct. My footwork was clean. My attacks relentless. She dodged like she had danced this dance a thousand times before.

  By the eighteenth move, she disarmed me. My sword cttered to the hot ground.

  Her scimitar touched my neck, cool and final.

  I waited for the mocking. But instead, she touched her own neck—just below the ear—where a thin red line glistened.

  "You nded a hit," she said.

  I blinked.

  "There are only a handful of Saharan magistrates who have ever done that. And I am the best among them."

  "...Did I just get a compliment?"

  "Don't let it go to your head."

  She kicked my sword back toward me. "Again."

  We trained until the sun dipped below the horizon. I lost. Again and again and again.

  I never nded another hit.

  When the stars began to glow overhead, Yuhana finally sheathed her weapons.

  "That's enough."

  I colpsed onto the sand. Breathing hard. Soaked in sweat. Muscles screaming.

  She turned and walked away without another word.

  Back in my chamber, I colpsed onto the bed. The moment I shut my eyes

  DING!

  ?

  [SUBQUEST COMPLETE!]

  Quest: Training with the Blood Eagle – COMPLETE

  Objective: Survive the first day of training with Yuhana the Blood Eagle – COMPLETE

  Bonus Objective: Land a hit on her – COMPLETE

  Rewards:

  ? +3 Attribute Points

  ? Fulfillment Progress: +15 General FFP

  ? Progress: 1 of 7 Training Sessions Completed

  ?

  System Note: Only six more soul-breaking training days to go! You got this, tiger.

  ?

  I groaned into my pillow.

  "This was not my idea of fulfilling my dreams..."

  And for the first time since getting thrown into this fantasy hellhole, I questioned if I'd actually live long enough to fulfill any of them.

  An_Ordinary_Writer