"So what is the most important reason you feel you shouldn't be here?"

  I tried to form a coherent answer and watched Dr Osliini rock on her desk. It was easier since Osliini was therian herself. It's always good to not wonder whether or not you can share your struggles.

  "I sometimes joke to myself that I have a disability in all three parts of a person. My body has a heart defect, my mind is an the spectrum and my soul is that of a therian. But I think it's the heart that has me the worst. Limits on work, limits on achievements, no transition, every time there's a health surprise I take it worse. I'm starting to doubt the doctors know what they're doing with me anymore. Of course my sensory issues have to make me feel everything even worse. And people will always find some reason that disqualifies me from being a therian and I don't even know what to believe."

  The doll therapist put her hands together and started to wonder about what to tell me.

  "This definitely is a lot. But it is not too much. You made the decision to come here and this already shows that you still have the will to fight for yourself."

  I had to pause for a moment more.

  "If you put it like that. However it would be nice to keep that will to fight more consistently."

  "And what do you do to feel better usually?"

  This time I answered immediately.

  "I guess I write. It's nice to put your feelings into poems. And it forces me to examine my feelings more thoroughly."

  Dr Osliini smiled at my answer. She seemed to like how much more lively I got.

  "I have an idea," said Dr Osliini and jogged to the other side of the desk.

  The doll opened a drawer and took out a sheet of paper and a pen.

  "I have an exercise for you," said Osliini. "Draw something that you associate with protection. Whatever."

  I took a pen and focused. An image started to crify in my head and on the paper. A colourful web of cnidaria and their bones.

  "So tell me about what you drew," said Osliini.

  "It's a coral."

  "And why did you draw a coral as a symbol of protection?"

  "I'm a mermaid kin and fish use coral for protection." My answer was quick.

  "Is that all?"

  No, that wasn't all. There was something else I didn't notice at first gnce.

  "Corals are strong, but they are not perfect. They themselves require to be cared for. Maybe as a mermaid I find myself a good candidate for a coral gardener."

  "That's an interesting point of view. But I'll tell you something. The most important coral in your life is your own body. So you have to take care of it."

  "Maybe. But sometimes I struggle to see the point."

  "Don't worry. You will find it one day. Maybe it will be your art, maybe something else."