Chapter 2:

  Getting a Life

  The white void became black. Spotlights from above beamed down on Allyn and Tim. Tim was now in a tidy black suit with a microphone in hand. His messy hair had been slicked back and now Tim looked at him with a wide grin. The shadows from the downlight added an eerie feeling to the atmosphere.

  “Behind door number one-”

  “Hey, not to be picky with how you’re manipulating the images in my head, but can we do this a little bit differently? At least throw in some sidelight or something. I don’t need full on gameshow aesthetic, but this looks more like twilight zone meets deal with the devil at the crossroads.”

  “Fair point”

  The spotlights went out, creating the dark void once more. Wall sconces and ceiling lights slowly brightened to reveal some sort of study. Tim now sat behind an ornate desk in a leather office chair. The far wall behind Tim had two large doors with regal curtains obscuring what lay behind. Tim reclined, ostentatiously petting a floofy white cat that sat purring in his lap.

  “Better?”

  “Almost.”

  Allyn clicked his tongue a few times and gestured to the cat to coax him over. The cat quickly abandoned its creator, sprang up on to the desk, and leapt into Allyn’s lap.

  “Alright, now I’m good to go. So, door number one?”

  Tim shot him a faux glare. Then all playfulness drained away as Tim became serious yet again.

  “I know we’ve been relatively lax, but until you’ve seen all your options and made your choice, out of respect, I won’t be kidding around. In the next few moments, a simple choice will drastically divert the trajectory of your life, and again, it’s important that this is abundantly clear.”

  Allyn sat up a little straighter and nodded to Tim who returned the nod.

  “Alright. Because your soul was intended for another universe entirely, you will be offered the chance to leave this universe and pursue a life in the multiverse. However, in order to be balanced and as unbiased as possible, you will also be shown two ways your continued life here could go. It would be disservice to the better parts of the life you currently have not to see what is possible.”

  Once again, Allyn nodded for Tim to continue.

  “Door number one mean’s your body is healed and you return to your normal life to pursue a new path, and we have a few guesses for how those paths will develop. Well, in fact, you’ve already seen a glimpse of them.” The left door’s curtains parted, revealing a scene. It was Allyn sitting down in his sister’s living room. “There’s a possibility that if you reach out to your sister, you two could reconnect, allowing her to become a larger part of your life than occasional update calls. You’ll be watching your nephew grow and be connected to someone who loves you.”

  It was a beautiful scene. In truth, it wasn’t the first time Allyn dreamt or wanted something like this to be possible. There was just some sort of block he couldn’t circumvent that made it impossible to reach out. He loved his sister and young nephew, and abstractly he knew that she loved him back, but he didn’t know how to demonstrate it. He couldn’t translate those feelings into a representation that she could understand. He didn’t know how to begin something like that. Shame began to overtake him.

  “Allyn. In the most respectful way, this isn’t therapy, and don’t take your past to heart here and now. I won’t help you work through your feelings, but I will help you pick a path forward. There is a future where you can become closer with your family. I would urge you to not be ashamed of where you are, but instead be hopeful knowing that this is something achievable. Look at this.”

  Allyn had begun to stare through the cat in his lap and sink into overthinking. Then he looked up and saw the landscape shot a future version of himself was photographing.

  “I’ve seen what it takes for you to get to this future node, and this will take a lot of work, but you can make a living for yourself doing photography. You can be fulfilled in your career, avoid backstabbing coworkers and oblivious managers. There are even futures where success in photography brings you back to your family, and others where becoming close with your family leads to your career in pictures.”

  The light returned to Allyn’s eyes as the possibilities whirred through his mind. He might not have to wake up and disassociate every day. He could count the seconds until he got to have dinner with his family instead of just endlessly waiting for the next day to begin, only to wait for the next day in turn. Waiting until the end of his days. Breathing without living. Suffering without gain. Alone in a dark apartment filling brain wrinkles with memories not worth keeping. He could make his family his purpose. Or he could dust off his camera and go see the world that he shut outside and avoided. He could see the perspectives he ignored and share them with the world without the fear of bills being left unpaid.

  He knew that this was all possible, be the you that you want to be, go out and get what you want and all, but he didn’t understand the mechanics of how to achieve any of this. He knew all he had to do was call her and he could talk to his sister, but how do you turn one talk into a thriving relationship. He could spend his days off snapping and editing photo’s, make an Instagram or a website and build traction. He could apply to work for a company and rise through the ranks until he was a full time, established photographer. Sure, anyone working towards something can probably achieve it, but you don’t know that you will. Gambling your livelihood is a hard call to make. What would he do if his sister didn’t actually want him around? If he spent too much time taking pictures, he may not make rent. He could get fired from his job and not have anything to show for it. It’s another thing entirely to be told that it is a factual possibility. He could easily wind up at the grocery store again and watch each day pass as he became an empty, withered shell of a person.

  “Then there’s door number two.”

  The curtain parted to reveal a shimmering expanse of space. It was vast and full of twinkling spots. Blues and purples swirled in a mesmerizing way on a void-like backdrop. It looked as if someone filled a lava lamp with the night sky.

  “We could place you on a tier one world, supply you with a starter kit that you can customize, and get you started. You can create your own path from there. You could settle on that tier 1 planet and live a happy life, or you could blaze a trail through the multiverse on the way to godhood, seeing worlds and sights you couldn’t begin to fathom now. I wish I could show you those futures, but it’s too uncertain. There’s just truly no telling what you could or would do when taking that opportunity, but each of those stars is a multiverse, containing billions of planets and possibilities.

  Tim stood up and walked slowly to the second door, gazing out into the multiverse. He pulled the curtains closed. Then he walked to the other door and did the same. Then he returned to his seat and placed his elbows on the desk, hands clasped as he rested his chin on his thumbs as he waited for Allyn to speak.

  Moment after moment slid by as Allyn stared wide eyed through the closed curtains, eyes flicking back and forth between them. He could well enough imagine his futures on Earth, but godhood? Investigation was necessary.

  “Can you describe what that would even be like? Life traveling through the… multiverse?

  “I am incredibly restricted in how much I can divulge at this point. We don’t want to create any kind of bias or sell you on any one decision. We don’t want you to pick anything specific. I’m only here to give you options and receive whichever choice you make. What I can say, is that the multiverse is governed by the system and its authority. Think of it like a Dungeons and Dragons handbook and character sheet. People can level up, evolve into higher stages of being, gain abilities, and travel between worlds or even universes. You know roughly how obscenely large a universe is. Consider that the multiverse is one universe scaled up, but instead of a star or a planet, each node within the multiverse is an entire universe. Every universe is contained within it, and it’s constantly growing. The number of people, societies and planets is so big that your society has no concept of the scale. It’s vast and there are many things you could do within it. Magic is a real thing. You could be hurling fireballs or flying without mechanical aid.

  Allyn began to grow visibly excited, leaning so far forward that the cat in his lap leapt away into nonexistence.

  “But, the multiverse is also dangerous. Monsters are everywhere. There are horrors lurking in the depths of space and time that catching a glimpse of would turn your soul into wet, shredded newspaper. You could be dead less than a week from when you arrive there. There are societies that are comparably primitive to modern Earth. There are entire galaxies with ideals that would disgust you. There are beings so powerful that if you tried to nag them with some choice ideas about democratic values, they could evaporate you with a glance, and it would be not only legal, but justified. This isn’t a vacation in Oz, you would have to earn a living, and at times, literally survive mortal danger. Think this through.”

  Tim said his last words with increasing severity, driving home the meaning. As he looked into Allyn’s eyes, his gaze became hard and cold.

  “Well, if I left to travel around the multiverse, couldn’t I come back and visit or something?”

  “No. It is nearly impossible to make contact with a tier zero planet without being annihilated by a God before you could finish forming the intent to set out and do it. The system strongly protects emerging worlds from being influenced by more established societies. If you leave Earth, you are never returning. Even if you became a God, you couldn’t come back.”

  “If I did leave, could I say goodbye to my family? Would I just disappear without them knowing what happened?”

  Tim’s voice dropped and took on a hollow aspect as he became very serious.

  “You drank yourself into oblivion. You are dead. I’ve been granted the authority to suspend your soul for this choice. If you returned, we would heal you and you would never recall this experience. Should you accept the opportunity, we would create a replica of your body for your soul to inhabit on the designated world we deposit you on. Your sister has already caught news of your quitting the supermarket and will be checking on you tomorrow. Unfortunately, I don’t have any leeway here. You either start breathing again and stay on Earth, or you go to a new world”

  “Oh. Well, that’s a lot.”

  “My condolences. This isn’t an easy choice, and it shouldn’t be. All the same, I don’t enjoy being the arbiter of your fate like this.”

  “So how do I choose correctly?”

  “What do you mean, Allyn?”

  “How do I make the right choice?”

  Tim’s stern stare softened into a warm, sympathetic smile.

  “There’s no knowing if a choice like this is right. I’ve lived longer than your entire galaxy. I am still confronted with choices where no response is objectively correct. Even if you stay here, those are not futures, those are just possibilities. You could just as easily go back in tomorrow, beg for your job back, and overwork for underpay until you die of old age. You could be in a dragon’s stomach next week if you went to a new world. You could be at your nephew’s college graduation in a few years or have your photos solidified into artistic legend or own the equivalent of a Michelin restaurant in a secluded asteroid belt. You can’t wait for tomorrow to come. You need to make choices and live for today. Either way, today, you’re getting a life. You should choose what will let you make the most of that life. The only wrong choice is going about life the way you have of late, simply because it’s what you know and it’s what’s easy. Life is a gift that you’ve declined for too long. It’s abhorrent that your approach towards life has been complete dissociation. People can be upset with their circumstance and hope for change. Some of those people will die not realizing their goals, but at least they had goals that they fought for. Living each day waiting for a tomorrow that you aren’t actualizing is a waste of potential, it’s a waste of life, and it’s disregarding your very soul. This is the reason you’re being offered this choice. You can finally live for the first time in years.”

  Overwhelmed, Allyn’s stare had become evasive, looking for anywhere to land but Tim, but with those last words, he looked back at the man in front of him. The once kind, easy going smile had disappeared without a trace. He saw the face of an angry God. His simple eyes had become a glowing white ivory. His hair slowly rippled outwards as if he was submerged in water. Allyn felt a pressure closing in on him like he was being crushed by the air he was breathing. Then, as quickly as it had all set on, it faded away as Tim pinched the bridge of his nose.

  “I’m sorry. I got carried away there. It’s not against the law to be unfulfilled, and you’re not in trouble, but your soul has been crying out and creating a loud discourse for so long that it’s almost criminal. As of today it, became an unbearable concert of nails on a chalkboard, babies crying and forks in a blender. It’s been causing us celestial- uh, erm, those of us at the “agency” a lot of unrest and concern. We have all seen the potential in you, and we’re hopeful that whatever path you choose, your soul will begin to sing an unparalleled melody.”

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  That was terrifying, and harsh, but Tim was right. For years, Allyn had been actively waiting for each day to end. He needed to start making the most of every day, whichever choice he made. He thought about his dead body, lying breathless on top of his sheets and those infuriating words on the computer screen. Game over. He was burnt out and spent. It was time for a change, and the universe has literally opened up the sky and given him exactly that opportunity. It felt like fire coursed through his veins, from the pit of his stomach to the tips of his toes and fingers. He felt a light shining in his own eyes. He fucked up. He knew that, but now he had a chance to start over. and not find himself in the same position. He fucked up and failed. He hated fucking up. He did so bad that the he needed the universe to bail him out. Fuck that. Time to uninstall that old frustrating grind and play a new game. It was time to make something of himself, to be something he couldn’t possibly be in his old life.

  “Ok. Give me door number two.”

  Tim knew he was supposed to take another few back-and-forth’s to ensure the validity of Allyn’s decision. This meeting was supposed to take another three subjective hours just solidifying a grounded understanding without any coercion or bias. He also saw a record of every moment of Allyn Macallan’s life. Never had this young man worn this expression. He’d seen the same fire, the same look on the faces of countless young men. Many of them died in battle or couldn’t keep that fire burning, but those that didn’t, those that could tend the flame and grow it, they shook the multiverse when they walked their path. After all, he’d thrown out a lot of the stuffy formalities already.

  “Door number two it is.”

  Tim snapped his fingers and the room vanished.

  We both floated in the cosmic dust I saw in the second door. Surrounded by the forces of space and time, we drifted in waves of lavender and topaz while millions of universes burned brightly all around us.

  “Welcome to the multiverse. Now, some nitty gritty to finish up your start paperwork.”

  Quickly, the once dramatic presentation of the space snapped into being a simple office.

  “This is your starting point, Allyn. Included in your introductory package will be a base explanation of the multiverse and the world you’re going to. You’ll have the option to take on debt to put together a starting loadout of sorts. This can include items and equipment or information packages of any topic you want. Information will be restricted to what is available on your new world and increasingly costly depending on the depth of understanding you want to pay for. Each week you’ll need to make a minimum payment, and if you don’t, the debt could compound and be more difficult to manage or just take longer to pay off. To be frank, everything we’re giving you is at-cost. You’ll never get a better deal for what you’re paying for, and it’s not our intent to bury you with debt. Balance is important, and the universe can’t just throw around resource’s willy nilly. In a perfect world, we don’t even collect interest and you’re paid up within the first year.”

  A translucent blue screen had appeared in front of Allyn. He had to play with it. Anytime something new was placed in front him, he was compelled to figure out all the ways in which it could be manipulated. To his absolute delight, he could completely and easily screw with the entire thing.

  First, he began swiping around with his finger, scrolling through dozens of gear icons at a time. Then I wondered if he could mentally control the manipulation, and as simply as he had a thought about how the display should appear, the change would take place. A huge grin stretched across his face.

  Bigger screen, smaller text, 0% opacity, 100% percent. 35% was nice. Spanish text, German, Japanese, back to English. Circle window, trapezoidal, question mark shaped. Presented in the form of the Mona Lisa. While hilarious in other forms, rectangular is just the most efficient, so back to that.

  Tim coughed. “You’re just messing around with the display settings, aren’t you?”

  Allyn was struck with the urge to feel ashamed. Fuck that, this is awesome. He beamed at Tim and said smugly, “Absolutely I am, but I’m about done.”

  Tim was taken aback for a moment, but then he rolled his head back and began belly laughing so loud the office space shook. After ten seconds, he finally composed himself, wiping a tear from his eye with a large sigh.

  “Good, there’s a lot of great options in there that you should probably consider.”

  Refocusing on the task at hand, Allyn began to look more at what was being shown and less at how it was presented. The screen had a title at the top left and read, “Starting gear shop”. Below it was a number of tabs scrolling from left to right where they ended in ellipsis. The ones visible were: Weapons, armor, tools, clothing, food, consumables, information, and then ‘…’. He selected the weapons tab and a series of tabs emerged at the left of the screen. Top to bottom he saw: swords, daggers, axes, hammers, spears, ranged weapons, shields, spell focuses, spell books, ellipsis.

  He began going through each category tab and each subcategory. There were easily hundreds of options. Various fashions and subtypes of each general item as well as various price ranges for each subtype. It was overwhelming. He could spend weeks going through every item. He started to sift through the extended list of categories and found it became increasingly niche. Alchemical tools, monster rearing, farming, janitorial- it became evident that everything was up for sale. Everything. On a whim, he wondered what an accountant recommended load out would be. A new screen overlayed and showed business attire, a nice leather briefcase, encrypted ledger binders, accounting textbooks, and guides detailing how one would go about investing stat points and acquiring useful abilities for the trade. At the bottom right of the screen, it read: 25,000 cr.

  Encrypted ledger binders? What the hell? What is ‘cr’? Just then, a small explanation popped up near by and read, “Cr is an abbreviation of credits. Credits are a multiversally accepted currency. Credits are stored within the soul space of an individual and can be earned from the trade of goods and/or services.”

  What is the relative value of a single credit? How does that compare to USD? The first explanation window was replaced by a second. “The comparative value of Earth United States Dollars to credits is roughly $10 = 1 credit.”

  So that would mean, to get started as an accountant in the multiverse it would cost… $250,000! Nope. No no no, go away window. It vanished. So, what about a recommended general starting kit? Another window replaced the previous. Short sword and sheath, dagger and sheath, leather tunic, pants with protective leather pads, leather boots, wool shirt, pants, linen underwear, wool socks, leather day pack, one day of rations, field bandages, and 50 cr of petty cash. Total cost 110cr.

  Okay, so that’s way more affordable. Allyn began eyeing each item suspiciously. One credit for underwear seemed a bit concerning. He didn’t want to be itching all day after all.

  “What’s the quality of the gear? If I buy the cheapest option, is it going to fall apart in a day?”

  “All of the items in the shop are made to represent their price. A cheap option for a sword isn’t poorly made, it just has the constraints of lesser materials. A simple iron short sword is going to cost less than steel because steel is costlier. Sure, in a stress test steel is probably going to trounce iron, but as far as iron short swords go, the one offered is as well made as possible without drawing suspicion.”

  “How would a good iron sword draw suspicion?”

  “Well consider this. We are going to be putting you on a tier one world. Generally speaking, people progress and leave these planets, they don’t travel to them. If an out of towner shows up with the best crafted iron sword in the history of their planet, eventually someone is going to notice, and for one reason or another, a target will be placed on your back. If you stick to the budget options, this won’t be an issue. In the same way, you can customize the appearance of any item any way you want, but if you land there looking like you just walked out of hot topic…”

  “Well, what’s stopping me from choosing all the best gear? I could just say I’m some hero from out of town.”

  “For one thing, you would have to pay a percentage of that debt every week, and that is the best option for racking up the largest debt to the universe ever recorded. There’s also that you will definitely be targeted and potentially robbed considering even your ‘tighty-whities’ would be worth a down payment on a mansion. You physically couldn’t even generate the weekly payment by pillaging every town. That kind of money is spread across that entire planet. You can’t make that up working a nine-to-five.”

  “Ah, gotcha, crossing the full-metal Gundam off the wish list. And what about the information tab? I tried looking through it but it was blank.”

  “That entire section is by request. It would be easiest to query me directly, and we can hash out a package suitable for the topic and the price you’re willing to pay. The only restrictions we’re placing on what you can request are that you are limited to the relative knowledge of the world itself and that you can’t learn any topic sanctioned by the system.”

  “I’m scared to even ask what a sanctioned topic is.”

  “You should be. If you ever learn sanctioned information and act on it, we might meet again, and I would definitely have to censure you, likely via sentencing to death. It’s a rare thing, but suffice it to say, it’s doing mad scientist evil wizard things with the intent to destabilize the multiverse. Mad scientistism and evil wizardry are acceptable on a smaller scale though. I would hope not, but if you want to create an undead army of neglected orphans that projectile vomit napalm and mustard gas to take over a universe, you’re welcome to try. Balance is the key. The system isn’t about justice or status quo, but it is very focused on being an ongoing influence. Without it, gods could conspire to quite literally erase all of time and space, which isn’t really good for anyone. That’s the scale we’re talking about.”

  “Isn’t that so large that it would definitely be off limits information on the world I’m going to anyways?”

  “Oh definitely, but this entire process is about acclimating and preparing you for the multiverse. Just an opportunity for the system to say you shouldn’t fuck with it.”

  “Noted.”

  “Good.”

  “Is there a recommended information package?”

  “Of course! Some general society knowledge, basic continental geography, a little world history, dash of current politics, base knowledge of commonly occurring monsters, and a few other things. Just enough that you can follow the story we’re giving you about who you are, where you’re coming from, and the knowhow to not look out of place in an entirely new society.”

  “How many books is that going to be?”

  “Oh, we’ll essentially be downloading into your new body. It will be as if you always knew it, and if it’s something removed from everyday understanding, asking the question will allow you to recall the answer if you know it. Kind of like an incredibly localized perfect recall. This won’t extend to your Earth knowledge or anything new you learn unless you develop the perfect recall skill. But with enough stat points in intellect, you essentially get the effect anyways.”

  “That would have been great for college.”

  “Yea, if only.”

  “How much does that cost?”

  “Oh, that’s the starter package, it’s included. You could ask for more advanced understanding of those topics or additional topics.

  “So how much is all of that at say, advanced understanding?”

  “200 credits.”

  “Oh, a little steep for what I’m thinking. Well, more fun to learn the lore organically I suppose.”

  “I agree with the point, but I want to remind you. Sure, you’re getting isekai’d essentially, and it might be very helpful to approach this like a game, but this isn’t one and you shouldn’t treat it like one. This goes back to understanding that this isn’t a dream. You’ll meet people with real struggles. Just a reminder to give this choice the respect it deserves.”

  “Right, sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. Well, utility-wise, I kind of want to try everything. How much to know the basics of all weapons and all crafting?”

  “Hidden restriction, apologies, only basic knowledge of one weapon, which is included. With your current selections, I’d recommend that you get short sword basics. If you selected a staff or wand, you could choose one basic attack spell. As for all crafting methods? 200,000 credits.”

  “FoR tHe BaSiCs!?”

  “Think of it this way, basics in this case means you would intuitively be at novice level, which on average takes about a year to achieve. Most people learning a craft make unusable trash until they get the hang of it or get an associated class or ability. For mundane crafting that could take a year. And a craftsman with the proper class is a valuable asset. You’re asking for competency across dozens of fields of crafting at the level of a class user or the equivalent of dozens of years of experience.”

  “Oh, I see. Well, that would be fun to learn anyways.”

  “There’s more than a few who see it the same way. After all, once a person reaches level 100, they cross into tier 1 and stop aging. Once you stop aging, unless you’re killed, you have all of eternity, and what better way to spend it than learning a few trade skills?”

  “I can become immortal?”

  “Well, immortal means undying, so technically no, but functionally immortal.”

  “Okay then. I think the base information package will work. I’ll finish up and close out my shopping cart.”

  Allyn’s attention returned to the screen. One extra set of shirt, pants, socks and underwear, a simple camping set and bedroll, flint, a small pot and a wooden cup. Upgrade the short sword and dagger from iron to steel. His total now stood at 72 credits for the cart and 50cr petty cash for a total of 122 credits owed. Sensing he was finished, a small window appeared asking for him to confirm the purchase. He mentally assented. Suddenly, he was wearing everything. The boots were so comfy, he almost wanted to run around to test them, but then he felt the weight of his pack. It was just heavier than a backpack full of textbooks, a little more difficult to move around with, but not crushing. As he shifted his weight he felt the wool on his skin. He’d always worn cotton, so this was a new unpleasant sensation, but nothing he couldn’t get used to. Then, there it was. On one hip, a sword, and the other a dagger. He unsheathed the sword. It was a clumsy affair with the pack on his back, but after a mild struggle, he brandished a gleaming new sword and marveled at it. After a test swipe, he nearly fell face first and chopped into his leg.

  Tim laughed at the newborn deer before him. “Well, here’s a quick word of advice, the sword itself takes a lot of practice, but fighting with a pack on is a learned skill on its own, not simply done but worth learning in case you’re ambushed in the wild or on the road without enough time to discard it.”

  “Aren’t I supposed to know how to use this thing already?”

  “Well, all that information is in your new body, and currently, you’re a soul contained in a specialized, simulated space. This isn’t even actually the items you purchased, it’s just a representation. A preview. If you wanted to do over your choices, now’s the time.”

  Allyn regained his footing and sheathed his sword.

  “No, I’m a bit of a dingus, got ahead of myself, but this stuff is great. I think I’m ready.”

  “You think you’re ready?”

  Allyn could feel his pulse start to rise, and his breath became difficult to control. He still wasn’t entirely sure this was a dream, but it was entirely too detailed. He could also read the screen and numbers presented, and he was pretty sure that’s not possible while you dream. This was real, probably. He had died, probably. If he left now, he’d be leaving his old life behind and enter an entirely new world, a new universe. He remembered feeling like this when he interviewed for a new job. He could feel himself at the crux of a decision that was going to drastically change the direction of his life. It was terrifying. It was exciting. He steadied his breath but couldn’t quite lower his pulse. Allyn looked to Tim and smiled.

  “I’m ready.”

  Tim took one last look at the blaze in the young man’s eyes. For years, he’d been hearing the discordant screech of Allyn’s soul crying out. He listened closely. Now, that song was gone, replaced by the thump of drums, the wailing of a heavy metal guitar. For the first time in years, the man’s soul exuded a beautiful flame, and it burned in those eyes. Tim nodded, satisfied. His duty was complete.

  “Well, if you have nothing else you’d like to request, then our time here is done and it’s time for you to begin your new journey.”

  “Thank you for everything. Will I ever meet you again?”

  “Probably not. I’ll be keeping an eye on you, but it’s unlikely that I’ll be in contact in anyway. If you ever get to tier five, I’ll be sure to visit you.”

  “I’ll hold you to it. Well, I guess this is goodbye then. It was nice to meet you.”

  “It was a pleasure to meet you, Allyn Macallan. Good luck, and enjoy your new life.”

  Allyn blinked, and when his eyes opened, he was at the edge of a tree line, 50 feet from a dirt road in a long rolling meadow. He looked left and he looked right. Nothing but meadow, dirt road and tree line. He looked up and the sun was starting to rise up from the right side of the road.

  “What the- where the fuck am I?”