Chantal slowly opened his tired eyes. His head was absolutely throbbing. Why did his wings feel like they'd been ironed? He yawned, gently stretched and- fire was everywhere. Minos looked absolutely furious. "SPARK DYLAN LYMAN, DID YOU SET THE ALLEY ON FIRE?!" His mechanical arms spoke and twitched out of anger. Spark quickly shook their head, denying it all. Minos could tell when Spark was being honest. He paused, softened, and gently patted Spark's head. "Must be Lucifer starting his little chaos tangent." Minos said, frowning. They all escaped the burning alley, all of them coughing up smoke and patting out flames from their clothes. They somehow salvaged almost all of the food and supplies except for a can of beans and some bag of chips called "Honey BBQ: Now with extra bees!" They looked around the street and it was utter chaos. Most demons were throwing things, setting stuff on fire, setting up explosives. Angels were hiding, whimpering, along with some of the less sinful demons. Hell, even some of the angels were in on the chaos.

  Everett was attempting to try to stop people from setting stuff on fire. Some listened, as he was very well liked there, but some just ignored him and kept fueling the chaos. Death quickly ushered everybody to a spot where nobody was. "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOIN' ON?!" Kay exclaimed, with a baffled face. Minos sighed. "Lucifer. He can cause chaos to start immediately. If Lucifer is doing this then Satan is most definitely raging in his lair. We should go there. We need to go there for access to the bridge anyway." They all rushed down the street. They coughed up smoke. Chantal started to have flashbacks of his death but he shut his eyes hard and kept running, clearing his mind of any thoughts completely. They eventually reached an area without anything but a massive iron gate with the words "SATAN'S OFFICE" engraved in bold letters with a tiny sign that said "knock please."

  Death casually strolled up to the iron gate and knocked three times. There was a deep gravelly voice from behind the gate. "Who's there..." Death cleared his throat. "Sup." The Man behind the giant gate seemingly recognized Death immediately and the gate slowly opened with a deafening groan. The man on the other side looked 11 feet tall, with Ankole-Watusi horns that stretched across the group. He had fiery eyes, a toned physique, and a red suit. "What brings you to my estate? Is this about... Lucifer?" Death nodded casually. "Yep. So, guys, this is Satan. The first human to become a demon because of wrath." Satan raised an eyebrow at Kay, Everett, and Chantal. "So...these are the selected individuals? They seem..." Satan paused as Kay picked his nose. "... dysfunctional." Minos rolled his eyes. "That's a massive understatement of it. But they're surprisingly resourceful when they need to be...except maybe the big one but he's the muscle." Satan gave out a gruff hum. "I see. Well, come in." Everyone walked past the gate and into a seemingly unimpressive wooden door that led to a massive living room area with a large red couch, a fireplace, and maybe 20-30 tiny running beings that just looked like floating legs and arms.

  Satan hung his suit on a hanger. "Make yourself at home. The summoning process for the bridge takes a few hours." Chantal cleared his throat a little. "I don't really mean to be a disturbance but why exactly is your little home here unaffected by Lucifer's...tangent?" "Because if any of us do we'll die instantly. Well, at least a second time. We don't know how. We don't know why. Not even The Man Upstairs knows. He just vaguely warned us about it one day." Satan said vaguely as if it offended him somehow. He was pretty easily offended by a lot of things actually. He plopped down onto his velvet-colored couch with a loud sigh. "Go on. Explore. Just don't break anything or I'll THROW YOU INTO MY FIREPLACE." He said the last part loudly and with menace before calling over one of the tiny assistants and whispering to it. The little creature zoomed over to a large iron door that had "BRIDGE TO BROOKLYN." engraved onto it. They pulled out some blood red marker and started tracing super complex symbols. Chantal thought it must be the initiation to open the bridge to Brooklyn.

  Everett walked around curiously. He didn't touch anything. He politely walked around the little floating limbs assistants. He even helped one with a difficult reaching place. He was quite literally the definition of those signs that say "Only take pictures, only leave footprints." Kay was just kinda sitting on the floor and shoving some of the chips into his mouth. He was tired. He lost almost all of his energy running. Chantal just sat on the couch and started thinking about everything that's going on, putting his brain into analytical mode. He always does this when a ton of things happen all at once. It's like his way of calming down and processing stuff whenever he's overwhelmed. Minos sat Spark down onto the floor. "Do not set anything on fire here, or it's extra paperwork. Understand?" Spark quickly nods with the enthusiasm of a small child and goes to play with the floating limbs assistants. Death is just chilling, sipping an iced coffee he got from some coffee machine and twirling the scythe in his hands.

  Chantal was so busy thinking that he didn't know Everett sat next to him. "How ya holdin' up, Chantal?" Chantal blinks a few times, his reverie breaking. "Oh, I was just thinking about stuff. My life before I died. The fact that I'm on this dumb quest. The fact that I have wings. The fact that-" Everett interrupts, but not in an obnoxious way. Gently. "Hey, no need to trauma dump on me. That probably makes it worse for ya, right?" Chantal blinks, surprised. "How did you know...?" Everett shrugs. "I dunno. I'm just good at guessing how people are feeling." Chantal hums, smiling slightly. His wings slightly ruffle nervously. Kay whispers something to Death. Death smirks and mutters "Oh, absolutely." Death then whispers, probably the same thing, to Minos, who gives a nod as if to say "Most likely."

  This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

  A glowing starts to emanate from the iron door, as the small assistant finishes the symbols. Satan stands up and opens the door. "Well, there ya go. Bridge to Brooklyn. Mammon territory." Minos stands up and stretches like an old dad, Death twirls his scythe a final time and throws away the empty plastic cup into the recycling bin, Kay secretly sweeps chip crumbs he left on the floor into a closet, and Chantal and Everett stand up from the couch. They all grab the supplies they have and head out the door, shown to have a long, barren, dry bridge leading to another city with a green glow. Everett glances at Satan. "Aren't you coming?" Satan scoffs. "What? No! I have work here that's much more important." Everett glances at Chantal, as if to communicate he's worried. Chantal shrugs. They all get their bearings and step out the door, beginning to walk down the bridge. Satan watches as they leave and looks...contemplative. Like he's trying to decide on something. He remembers back when him and Lucifer actually had a bond. 2000 years ago...

  ***

  "I'm telling you, The Man Upstairs is oppressing us!" Lucifer yelled at Satan, as if he's trying desperately for him to change his mind. Satan sighed. "He's not oppressing us. Sure, his warnings are vague, and that pisses me off to an IRRATIONAL EXTENT..." he breathes slowly, as if to calm down. "But we mustn't jump to conclusions." Lucifer growled in anger. "Fine! I'll show you! I'll show everyone!" And then...he was off. Satan stopped seeing him visit...

  ***

  Satan sighs and sat down on his chair. He grabbed a magazine, flipped it open, and began to read it absent mindedly. Most of the pages contained.very explicit and graphic things. Satan isn't very surprised, all of his magazines came from Asmodeus's estate, so of course they're gonna be like this. Suddenly, the iron gate slammed open and somebody kicks down the door. Satan stood up, looking completely livid. "WHO DARES DISTURB-" He paused, looking from livid to mildly annoyed. "Ugh, it's you. Please, leave will you? I have a very important paper I need to look at." The person who kicked down the door is revealed by a flashlight one of the floating limbs assistants dropped in the ground to be Lysander. And he's oddly erratic and manic.

  "Heh. Hehehehehehe! HAHAHAHAH!" Satan looked very confused. "Is...something fucking funny?" He glanced at Lysander and...oh no. "You...you found it?" Lysander let out another maniacal laugh. "YES! YES I FOUND THE STAFF." Satan backed up. "How is that possible? The Man Upstairs destroyed it for good!" Lysander rolled his eyes. "Are you insinuating I wouldn't be able to, y'know...put it back together?" Satan growled with unimaginable rage. He hasn't been this angry since the rise of the Sumer Empire. He suddenly lunged forward, a blur of rage and heat. Lysander dodged and mockingly laughed in his typical arrogant tone. "You pathetic demon," Lysander says as he sliced towards Satan with his magical sword that every high-ranking angel has for some reason. Satan blocked the blow by locking his arms together.

  Lysander repeatedly attempted to slice at Satan. "RAGH! Would you hold still, I'm trying to weaken you!" Satan scoffed. "Like that's ever gonna work." Satan slapped the sword out of Lysander's hand and punched him directly up the jaw. Lysander readjusts his jaw and shoves it back into place, wiping off the blood, and scoffing. "That's all ya got, you emotionally unavailable idiot." Satan's eyes went fiery with pure rage. He ordered his assistants to swarm Lysander. He sliced through all of them with one fatal swing. They all hit the wall and ran off into the supply room. Satan yelled "USELESS PIECES OF-" Lysander lunged towards Satan giving him a slice to the chest. Satan collapses into the ground, breathing heavily, wincing at the pain he's in. Lysander laughs arrogantly. "Wow. Can't even defend yourself, blinded by rage." Satan clawed at Lysander, but he simply stepped out of the way. "Well, Satan, I reckon I put this staff to good use." Lysander points to staff to Satan...and...

  "You're tellin' me you don't always grab the right Twin Stix when you're in the candy aisle of Balmart??" Death yells, sounding more mildly annoyed than incredulous. Minos just sighs as if that is the dumbest thing ever. Probably because it is. "Death, I have explained several times, there is no difference between left and right Twin Stix, except for the way the coating is applied." Death scoffs. "Bullshit! The right Twin Stix is objectively the correct Twin Stix!" Chantal is just listening to the conversation. It's very entertaining. Kay and Everett are just talking casually, about limbo, about life, basically normal stuff. The bridge is pretty barren. It doesn't even have a lane divider. It's just a massive bridge above an endless white void. The green glow of Brooklyn is becoming brighter and brighter...

  Eventually they get to the iron gate. Minos walked up and rang the doorbell. The speaker next to it crackled to life, with a monotonous voice on the other side. "Hello. What is your reason for requesting entry?" Minos cleared his throat. "It's for Lucifer." The crackling radio paused, and not even 5 seconds later, the iron gates slowly slided open to reveal Brooklyn. It was...the Lawful Neutral version of gambling paradise. It had casinos that give your money back but also give you depression for 5 hours. There were BINGO places where everyone wins but the only reward was hard caramel candy. And as Chantal stares out at the city he wondered... how's Lucifer gonna fuck this place up this time?