Ethan's POV

  Actually thinking that Arthur envied me really made me more embarrassed. I never thought he even thought about me, but now the diary is spilling the truths about me. I never told Eliza that I asked Arthur what he thought about her. She even questioned me about that, making me more worried.

  After we stopped reading that day, we never touched the diary again. It's been three days. Eliza was angrier at first, but now she is thinking. Actually, Arthur made us realize things. It is like living your life again. We can't decide what to do with Arthur's dark secrets; I lost interest in spilling his truths. Actually, we are living his life with us. We want to know him more. We felt angry, but the only thing that remains in our heart is Arthur, the man who is still unidentified in these shadows.

  When I reached Eliza's house, I caught sight of Arthur jogging. He saw me and stood like a statue, then I realized I had to fix my expression. I felt something; this man who I thought was perfect has changed; he is not that man to me anymore. I am feeling something for him. What is it?

  I just waved; he did the same thing and continued his jogging.

  I thought today was my day. Mrs. Hawthorne was not in the living room. I just greeted Mr. Hawthorne and went to Eliza's room. She was on the bed near the lamp table, typing something on her laptop. She seemed like she was daydreaming. I reached her and just shook her for fun, but she didn't react.

  "What are you thinking?" I asked. I know what she is thinking. About Arthur, and for the first time, I'm not mad about that fact.

  "Nothing, I'm just thinking we should just quit reading that diary," she confessed.

  "You know there are only a few pages, why won't we just finish it?" I said normally.

  "You still want to do it?" she questioned.

  "I...don't know," I whispered, like I didn't want to answer that question.

  "Ethan," she said, thinking and looking at her laptop.

  "Yeah?" I said. I want to know what she is thinking; I want her to spill what she is feeling because I don't understand what I am feeling.

  "I'm sad," she said, still looking at her laptop, but I could see she was about to cry. I stood in front of her and sat beside her, taking her laptop away. She had literally typed all the letter 'a' on the screen.

  "I know," I said, assuring her I was right here. I kissed her forehead.

  "I'm sad, Ethan. Not because Arthur is the reason my parents hated each other for years. Not because it destroyed my dad's trust in my mother. Not because he stole my grandmother's ring, which she liked most, and the signature of our family. But..."

  She started crying as she said it. "I'm sad when I'm thinking Arthur always remembers it. Always...when we are with them. It is like his punishment to feel that thing every day of his life." She said, clearing my doubts about my feelings too.

  Now I understand I'm worried about myself for thinking about Arthur and choosing him and not hating him even though he hid his dark secret when Mrs. Hawthorne forced him to marry Eliza.

  We are wrong. We should stop thinking like that. Maybe he just said it in the diary just like a confession.

  But why am I not thinking like that?

  I was shocked when I felt my fingers wet on her cheeks. She was already crying a lot.

  "I'm feeling the same way. It is not our fault. He confessed his feelings, and we felt it, that's it. Don't take it to heart, Eliza. I don't want you to...please," I said, side-hugging her tightly.

  After some time, she fell asleep in my arms.

  I don't know what made me think like this, but I want to read it alone now, at least for now. I don't want us to question ourselves anymore. I should avoid it, at least. So I took the diary and started reading it in bed beside Eliza.

  Arthur diary

  After they called and said something I can't even try to encrypt their language name. When I saw them, I knew the reason. They were unbelievably drunk. I sat in two chairs near a coconut tree with no one around; obviously, it took me half an hour to get a sight of this location. I tried to make them walk at least 5 steps so we could enter the sofa area of the hotel, but wonderfully, they came along by walking like animals and spitting some shit on my shirt. I'm not able to figure out what it is; the truth is, I didn't even look at it.

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  After I booked a room, I left them in bed, took a shower, and changed my shirt with some home servicing clothes. They were fully wasted. Should I just drop them off or spend the night here? I called Mrs. Hawthorne and said my car had some trouble and would start tomorrow; she didn't force me to take cabs or ask any questions, thank God.

  I took the sofa while they were in bed. Suddenly, in the middle of the night, I heard sounds. I thought someone might be awake now, but it was Eliza who was vomiting. How much did they actually drink? They were completely in hell. I went near her and helped with her hair.

  Was she really awake? It didn't seem like it.

  "Hey, are you okay?" I asked after she finished vomiting and sat there.

  "I'm smelly cat," she said, laughing.

  "Yeah, I know," I teased, smiling.

  "You should sleep now; drink some water. They are near the bedside lamp table," I said, standing up and leaving.

  "Hey," she warned.

  "Yeah? Do you want something to eat?" I said.

  "Why don't you just say no, I can't marry your daughter? I'm perfect. I want to do what I want, like scolding her. She'd never ask you again," she said strictly.

  "You don't want to marry me?" I asked.

  "Of course not. I love someone, like really love. Do you know how much I love him? But I love you. You know that, right? I've loved you since we were kids; you always showed up when I was in trouble. You know, time passed, but I wasn't able to forget you. I just avoided you as an adult because you know everything about me, which scares me, and you are sooooo perfect," she said, which made me feel more guilt building.

  "I'm not perfect, Eliza," I said, looking into her eyes.

  She smiled. "You are. Handsome and perfect," she stated.

  "Then why don't you just marry me?" I said, just wanting to know.

  "Because you are not Ethan," she laughed like she had just cracked the joke of the year, while I was balancing her so she wouldn't fall on the bathroom tiles. Ethan entered, hanging onto the door and wall, pushing us apart and starting to vomit. God, what should I do with these two? I should ban alcohol for anyone below 26.

  "What are you doing with her?" Ethan said with a serious face. Eliza slowly stood up, pressing her forehead as if she had a headache.

  "I'm just helping her; she's vomiting, just like you did. How much did you guys have?" I asked angrily.

  "Actually, I'm sorry; the mess started by me. I think I will owe you a lot," he said, looking into my eyes. Finally, he was fully awake.

  "I won't trouble you; just sleep on the bed. I will handle this. Again, sorry for the trouble," he said and held Eliza's hand, giving her support as he sat her on the sofa and did her messy hair into a braid so it wouldn't get in her face. I sat on the bed, drank some water, and was about to say I could sleep on the sofa, but I just sat there watching. Ethan took the towel on the chair, wet it, and cleaned her face and hands. He made her drink some water, removed her jewelry and accessories, and slowly came to me. He placed a comfortable pillow beside me, lifted Eliza, and made her sleep beside me, and then he went to the sofa and lay there like he just trusted me, right? He thinks I don't have any ill feelings for Eliza. He lay there thinking... about them.

  After we woke up, Eliza kept saying she was sorry for everything she did. I know she didn't remember a damn thing. Immediately, I let them get ready so we could leave. They rushed as if they knew the situation quite well. When I was ready, I just sat on the sofa, viewing outside through the mirror glass of the balcony. Ethan was outside. I got a phone call from an unknown number; I cut the call just as Ethan's phone rang.

  I was about to enter the balcony when I heard Mrs. Hawthorne from him. He just apologized as soon as he lifted the call. I didn't hear Mrs. Hawthorne, but I knew she was insulting him by the way he was scared and kept apologizing. After the call, he saw me and just crossed me to the living room.

  "So we can leave now, right?" Eliza said.

  "Yeah," I replied, and we drove to Mrs. Hawthorne's.

  When we entered, Mrs. Hawthorne already grabbed Eliza's hand and gave her a warning look. Eliza just said, "Don't start now," and went to her room.

  "Do you even have some sense? You make her drink while you can't take care of your own ass. What happens when Arthur isn't there? What happens when he didn't arrive? What if he can't find you? My daughter can be taken advantage of by anyone. Omg, do you even have some shame, right? Don't you think you are not correct for her?" Mrs. Hawthorne shouted but made sure Eliza didn't hear.

  "I'm sorry, Mrs. Hawthorne. I'm a bit irresponsible, but I don't think my love is some playful act. I really want to become someone who deserves her. It hurts when you shout in front of someone who you thought was the most deserved person for your daughter. I owe him, and I owe you, I know that. But I think I hate myself too." Ethan's eyes were teary. He was saying things from a heavy heart; the sentences weren't perfectly connected, but every sentence was filled with Eliza.

  "If there is a world where I can maintain your goals—having a great job, own house, great family—if she is not happy, I would rather be in this world with all my material problems," Ethan declared.

  He was directly saying he wouldn't even allow anyone near Eliza if they would harm her, even her mother. When I thought back to the hotel scenes, I remembered he was always aware of her every step, even in that state. He clearly made himself a support for Eliza while I was taking the stairs. The entire time, he held her straight so she couldn't slip, while I was just holding his arm and making him walk. His eyes were open the entire time until I lay on the sofa; I think he went to sleep then. I woke up when I heard Eliza speaking. He washed her and made her comfortable to sleep.

  Now Eliza's words rang in my thoughts.

  "You are not Ethan."

  Continued....