It's been about a day since Daiki and I became boyfriend and girlfriend. And we've spent almost all that time together.

  Yesterday, his mom came back with his dad and he congratuted us, but in a more restrained way than his wife. I also went back st night and slept in my dorm room, but came back early this morning.

  It's been nice spending time with him and helping him however I can. He's doing really well overall. I thought his recovery would be slower since he was unconscious for so long, but now that he's awake things are going much better.

  His pain is manageable with less intense medication, and his face isn't quite as swollen anymore. But they don't want him moving around a whole lot between his already bad knee, concussion and broken bones. He'll probably have to stay at the hospital another week or two.

  He just finished eating his dinner and when I come back from returning his tray, I'm surprised when I see him look at me with worry on his face. He smiles and then pats on the chair I've been sitting in and I slowly approach it, feeling a little nervous about his demeanor.

  I sit down and put my hand on his, as I often do now, “I-is something wrong? Can I help?”

  He shakes his head, “Nothing's wrong , but I am a little worried about you.’

  “A-about me?”

  He nods, “I really appreciate you being here so much…but now that I'm awake and on the mend, you probably do need to spend a little more time at school. You've been here constantly for several days at this point. That can't be good for you.”

  I sigh, “I know. I was thinking about that too. I'll go to csses tomorrow. On school days, I'll just come in the evening for a couple of hours.” I smile at him and feel my cheeks flush, “I-It is hard to leave you though.”

  He smiles back, “It was really hard for me to tell you to come less, so I know what you mean.”

  I nod and take a stern tone, “Since you told me something you're worried about…there is one thing I'm worried about that I want to talk about before I go for the day.”

  He looks a little worried. Probably like I did a minute ago, “Um…okay.”

  “You have to take the elevator from now on.”

  He sighs, “I know . Jeez, I knew that was coming at some point. Didn't know it would be so soon.”

  I cross my arms, “Well…it's important. Why are you so stubborn about it, anyway?”

  He frowns, “You’ll still be my girlfriend if my reason is stupid, right?”

  I ugh, “Of course.”

  He sighs and looks down. Then he mumbles something.

  “Huh?”

  He sighs again and says, “It's because I'm embarrassed about how damn big I am. I take up the whole elevator and slow everything down. A wheelchair can't even fit in there with me. And there are other students who need it.”

  “W-well…it's nice of you to think of other students. But…I think you are one of the students who needs it.”

  He ughs wryly, “Yeah...obviously I was in the wrong. As evidenced by my battered, broken body.”

  He fidgets a little in his bed and then looks at me, “Y-you don't…mind that I'm so much bigger than you?”

  I smile at how cute and bashful he's being, “Do you mind that I'm so much smaller?”

  “No. But…truth be told it did make me more hesitant to confess.”

  “Why?”

  He shrugs, “It is…a little bit of an obstacle, isn't it?”

  “I don't think of it that way.”

  “But…it'd be easier to date a normal-sized guy. Especially because you're so small. We'll look funny together.”

  “I don't care about that. I feel happy when I'm with you. Who cares if we’re different sizes?”

  “You really aren't worried about it?”

  I shake my head, but he still looks unsure.

  It's embarrassing, but I'll tell him this to make him worry less.

  “A-actually…when…I was talking to Chiyo and Akane about how to respond to your confession a couple months ago, they asked me about it.” My cheeks flush and I look at the floor, “I…actually realized that I like that you're big.”

  He raises his eyebrows and chuckles, “Oh. Huh. Somehow…I never thought that a girl might like it.”

  My cheeks are burning now, “Well…I do. I like…all of you.”

  He smiles, “That's nice to hear.”

  “So…i-it sounds like I'm your first girlfriend?”

  He nods, “I didn't have much interest in romance, to be honest. Not until I met you.” He sighs, “I think that's why my mom is making such a big deal out of everything.”

  I ugh, “It's sweet that she's so happy for us. Um…my parents are too.”

  Well, my mom is. My dad has mixed feelings. But he would about any boy. And Daiki doesn't need to know that. He'll come around.

  He smiles, “That's good.” He adjusts himself in the bed a little and asks, “Y-you've had a boyfriend right? That guy in your hometown is your ex?”

  Oh. Tomoya. I haven't even thought about him once since all this happened.

  That's a good thing I think.

  I shake my head, “We never dated. I never confessed. S-so you're my first boyfriend.”

  He nods, “I see. And…you're not still in love with him?”

  Without hesitation I say, “No, silly. I'm only in love with you.”

  He smiles, “I don't think I'll get tired of hearing that.”

  I'm headed to css. I knocked on Akane's door to walk with her, but I've missed several days and didn't tell her I would be going to css today. So she must have gone on her own.

  This makes me realize I haven't done a great job of communicating with her since everything started with Daiki. I'll have to apologize and do better with that.

  When I get to css, though, she gives me such a big smile that I can’t imagine she's upset with me.

  “Hey, you made it to css today? That's good, I was worried you were becoming a delinquent.”

  I ugh, “I needed to come back. And Daiki wanted me to come back to campus too now that he's awake. I did need the rest. And I needed to come to css.”

  She smiles, “It's really great he's awake and gonna be fine.”

  “Yeah, it is.” I smile wide, “U-um…he's also my boyfriend now. I realized through all of this that I could return his feelings.”

  She smiles, “Oh…yeah? I was…wondering about that. That's…really great. I'm happy for you.”

  She's smiling. But I can tell something is wrong. Akane's normally broad smile isn't reaching her eyes. And she quickly returns her eyes to a worksheet on her desk. I'm about to ask her about it. But before I can, she leaves the cssroom without saying anything to me. Just a few minutes before the bell. This is all very out of character for her.

  I start to become very worried about my friend. And then I realize I recognize this reaction.

  If I hadn't done the exact same thing when Tomoya told me about Kotomi, I probably wouldn't have noticed.

  I’m so stupid. I should have seen the signs…but she promised me that she didn’t feel that way, and I believed her.

  After thinking about the situation for a minute, I decide I should go to talk to her. When I go to stand up, I'm surprised when I see Madoka has walked over to my desk.

  She whispers, “You're going after her, right?”

  I nod, feeling more than a little confused that she seems to know what's going on.

  She says, “Okay, I'll cover for you two. Y'know, if our teacher actually shows up on time.”

  I nod and then rush out into the hall, and when I don't see Akane, I go into the bathroom. I don’t find her right away, but I hear the sound of someone sniffling in one of the stalls. I approach the door and knock on it, “A-are you okay, Akane?”

  She clears her throat, “Yeah, I’m good. J-just using the restroom. I um…really need to go, so…privacy please.”

  I rest my palm on the stall door, like it will somehow help me get through to her, “P-please…stop lying to me.”

  “I-I’m not.”

  “Y-you are too! I can tell you're crying.”

  She clears her throat, “I am not . I just…I think I have a cold. Or a-allergies.”

  “Okay. Must be really bad then if it's making you sound like that. I'll wait and then take you to the nurse. You would take me.”

  She sharpens and raises her voice, but it's shakier now too, “ Nagisa …j-just… go , okay? Walk out of here and leave me be.”

  “I don't want to.”

  Now I hear a very clear sniffle, “Just leave me alone , okay? Go b-back to css. Leave me be. Please , Nagisa . P-p-please... ”

  I know that her lip is trembling now from how she's speaking. Maybe I should just do what she asks.

  “I-if…it's really what you want, and what's best for you-”

  “It is.”

  I wish I had told Tomoya. Just to get it off my chest.

  I sigh, “But…how can ignoring this or lying about it be what's best? Friends don't lie. And they share how they feel. You'll feel better if you do.”

  I hear a thud and the stall door moves slightly. She must have kicked it, “God, you're stubborn sometimes. Think you know what's best for me better than I do, huh?”

  I sigh, “I-if you're really sure what you think is best is for us to ignore this, I can try my very best to…pretend. But…make sure that you do think it’s best.”

  She is quiet for a moment and then sighs deeply, “Ugh, FINE . J-just…give me a second. I have to…mentally prepare. I have told myself many times I’d never EVER say this to you. So…it's hard.”

  “Okay. Take your time.”

  We're both quiet for a while. Then the bell rings. Just when I am going to accuse her of stalling, she starts to sniffle again, “Okay…I'm ready.”

  “Me too.”

  She takes a deep breath and says, “I’m…in love with you. How could I not be? You're like …the best person I've ever known, and a total babe too.” She half-ughs half-sniffles, “I-I'm…sorry. I’ve been struggling with this for a bit. I've tried… so hard not to feel this way. But I do. I can't help it.”

  I knew it was what she was going to say. But I’m somehow still surprised to hear it. Before I came to Yamaku no one had ever fallen in love with me. But here, two wonderful people did. I wish I didn't keep hurting them, though.

  “Akane…you don't have to apologize for loving me. I-it's beautiful to love someone. And to be loved too. B-but…what about what you said after we kissed?”

  She sighs, “I…lied. I realized I was in love with you when I kissed you that night.”

  So…that night, I really DID reject her. And that WAS why she was crying. It makes more sense now. But…

  “…why did you lie?”

  She sniffles, “I…almost told you a few times.”

  “Why didn't you?”

  “Because I knew you didn't feel the same. And…could never feel the same. You only like boys, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “So what would be the point in telling you? It would just make you feel bad and put a strain on our friendship.” She sighs, “And I thought it would go away eventually. And to be honest, it started to. Like…since Chiyo has been around more, I haven’t felt it as much. I was able to help when you wanted to talk about Daiki and stuff. But…hearing that you two are together…”

  She trails off and sniffles, so I finish for her.

  “It hurts?”

  She sighs, “Y-yeah. Even though…you had said you didn't like girls. I had this tiny glimmer of hope…that maybe one day we’d be together. Like…maybe since you hadn't had a boyfriend yet maybe…maybe you liked girls and you didn't know yet.” She sniffles a few times, “I know that's dumb. I know it doesn't make sense and isn't even possible.”

  I start to sniffle too, “I-I’m so sorry, Akane.”

  I hear her stand up. She opens the stall door and gres down at me. She sharpens her voice as tears stream down her face, “Don’t you dare apologize. I’m the one who should be. You’re my b-best friend, and you just started dating a great guy. A guy who is in the hospital and this is my response?” She wipes her tears and holds her moist fingers out to me while looking disgusted with herself. “To cry!? To think about myself first!? I can’t even support you? You’ve done so much for me, and this is how I repay your kindness?! By moping? I-I'm awful…I…I don’t even deserve to be your friend…” Finally the tears she has been fighting overwhelm her and she falls to her knees and starts to sob. It reminds me of the night Misha broke up with her.

  I put my arms around her and hold her head to my chest as she continues to cry, “I-I've been where you are right now. With that boy at my old school. I reacted the same way. Put on a brave face in front of him, but then ran off to the bathroom to cry. I felt the same way, like I was a bad friend. Like I was selfish. But…you can't help how you feel. And you aren't a bad friend. You’re a great friend. You're my best friend.”

  She puts her arms around my waist and looks up at me, “I should b-be able to put my feelings aside for you. To just…be happy for you.”

  “You're trying your best. You came in here to cry so I wouldn’t know you were upset. And then you were going to be supportive, weren’t you?”

  “Y-yeah…”

  “See?”

  “I guess. It would have been better if I had been able to completely conceal my feelings though. Then you wouldn’t have followed me. I underestimated you. I thought you'd be too dense to notice. You have been so far.” She half-ughs and half-sniffles.

  “W-well…I won’t deny I’m a little dense about this sort of thing. But…I also believed you when you told me you didn’t feel this way, so I never considered it after that.”

  She sniffles and hugs me tight, “I'm sorry for lying.”

  “It's okay. I’m gd you told me. I never told that boy back home. And I regret that. I didn't want you to feel the same.”

  “You're right…just telling you made me feel a little better.” She groans, “Freaking Chiyo figured it out like two weeks after we made up. She told me to just tell you how I felt. Guess she was right. Don't tell her , though.”

  I ugh, “I won't. I am gd you two have been talking about it, though.” I get serious and lock eyes with her, "I want you to know…this doesn't mean you're not good enough, okay?”

  She sniffles and smiles up at me, “Y-yeah…you've helped me see that before. I know I'm good enough.”

  I squeeze her, “You're way more than just good enough. You're my best friend, okay? This doesn't change that.”

  She nods and then looks up at me and tearfully says, “I…really am so happy for you. And I do think Daiki's great. I want you to be happy more than I want just about anything. And I can tell you are. I'll support you every step of the way. I just…also needed to have a mental breakdown about it.”

  “I understand.”

  She nods and lets go of me and gets some toilet paper to wipe her face, and blows her nose.

  Then we go back to css together.

  It's Sunday. I'm about to go spend the day at the hospital with Daiki. But I wanted to stop to see Akane before I do.

  Things have been good between us since she confessed. But I'm still worried about her. I can't help but remember how it felt seeing Tomoya and Kotomi together as a couple.

  I knock on her door and hear, “Misha? Did you forget something?”

  “Um…I-it's Nagisa.”

  A very flustered Akane replies, “O-oh! Um…hang on a sec.”

  I wait for about a minute.

  “Okay, come in.”

  When I go in, I find her sitting on her bed in crumpled pajamas. Her face is bright red and her hair is a mess. The room also has a different sort of smell than usual.

  I don't know much about this sort of thing, but I think I might know what's going on.

  “Are you and Misha together again?”

  She turns bright red and bashfully shakes her head, “We…just um… we…” She sighs and then quietly says “…spent the night together…”

  “Oh.”

  She sighs, “I’m really stupid, huh?”

  “N-no…you’re not. I-if…being with her helps you, then you should do it.”

  She scoffs, “Sure, but sleeping with my ex? Not my brightest move. Not that I had a long list of options…” She chuckles awkwardly. “It was kind of a surreal night, honestly. I called her over, fully intending to just have meaningless sex – which we did . But afterwards, I spilled my guts to her about you. Then we held each other and cried and talked about the straight girls we’re in love with. I know that sounds weird but…it was kind of nice. For both of us. I think we’ll probably do it again. Kind of…twisted, isn't it?”

  “W-well...I can see why it would be nice. You two have a lot in common.” I sigh, doing my best to hold back tears from hearing about hers.

  “W-would getting some space from me help?”

  She doesn't hesitate, “No. We don't really have that much time left together. I don't want to waste it. I’ll get space when we graduate.”

  I start to sniffle, and she smiles and puts her hand on my arm.

  “I know you’re really sweet and tender-hearted and you care a lot about me. And that you hate that I’m hurting. These are some of the many reasons I love you. But please stop crying about me, okay? You just started a new retionship. Your first retionship. With a great guy. You deserve to be happy, and not weighed down by this. I’m gonna be okay, I promise.”

  I wipe my tears, “I-I am happy, too. I can be happy a-and…worried about how you're doing at the same time.”

  She ughs, “I suppose you can. After all, I'm really happy for you and…also sad about it.” She sighs, “I guess… I need to stop telling you I'm upset about it. That's probably best for both of us.”

  I shake my head.

  “W-we talk about everything. I don't want that to change.”

  “I know we do, but this one thing probably doesn't need to be a regur topic, you know? I can talk to Misha about it. Or…even Chiyo.”

  “O-okay. If that's what you want.”

  “It is. One st thing, though. Does…Daiki know?”

  I shake my head, “H-he doesn't need to know your secret.”

  She nods and thinks for a moment, “You have my permission to tell him. I trust him to keep it to himself. It wouldn't be good to hide it from him. I…basically confessed to you yesterday. He should know about…my feelings.”

  I sigh, “O-okay. I’ll tell him, then.” I stand up. “I'm gonna go to the hospital. I promise I'll come back for dinner, though. He'll probably make me.”

  She ughs, “Okay. That's good. Any idea when he will get discharged?”

  “Maybe at the end of the week.”

  “Okay. Maybe I'll come by ter? I haven't seen the big guy since he's been in there. I feel kind of bad about it.”

  I nod, “He’d be happy to see you.”

  …

  “H-hey Akane.”

  I've been with Daiki at the hospital for a few hours. Akane just got here for her visit. Daiki greeted her very awkwardly.

  She ughs and looks at me and then back at Daiki, “So, she told you, then?”

  He raises his eyebrows, “How can you already tell?”

  “Because you just said ‘hey’ to me in a way you never have in three years.” She lowers her voice, “Is your weirdness because I'm gay , or because we're…in love with the same person.”

  He sighs, “Both. I guess. I mean…I don't have a problem with gay people. I was just surprised…is all. I mean…I didn't expect it from you .” He cringes at himself, “N-not that there is any way I should expect a lesbian to be.” He sighs and his rge shoulders droop, “Sorry. I'll stop talking. I um…bme the medication?”

  I ugh at how flustered he is and so does Akane, “I told him about 5 minutes ago. So…it's new.”

  She puts a hand on his shoulder, “It's okay Daiki.”

  He nods, “A-anyway. I think it’s even more surprising…that you're in love with Nagisa. That's why I'm extra flustered.”

  She frowns and takes her arm off his shoulder. She looks at me and there's a hint of panic in her eyes. She looks back to Daiki and starts wringing her hands, “Do you…want me to go?”

  She thinks he might not want me to be friends with her now. I hadn't considered that. I can't imagine Daiki feels that way, though.

  Still, I feel my body tense up a little at seeing Akane this way.

  He shakes his head, “I'm…okay with all of it. Just surprised.”

  Akane rexes and so do I, “Fair enough. I want you…a-and both of you, to know that I'll never do anything to…undermine your retionship or anything. I'm…not a rival. I'm really happy for both of you and…my own stuff isn't going to get in the way of that.”

  “O-of course you won't. We trust you.”

  Akane ughs, “I know you do. But…he kind of needs to say it too.”

  “I trust you too. I… am sorry, though. I'm sure it hurts…to feel that way.”

  She rolls her eyes, “Jeez, you two really do belong together. Your children are going to grow up to be literal saints.”

  I feel my face flush and Daiki looks away from both of us.

  Akane ughs at our reactions, “But seriously …it means a lot that you both are trying to see things from my side. Thanks. But…I think we can all be friends, don't you?”

  I nod and so does Daiki. Akane ughs, “I do have one joke I have to make though.”

  Daiki and I exchange a look and then Daiki says, “O-okay. What is it?”

  She ughs, “You beat me on all the tests and you got the girl of my dreams? Doesn't seem fair.”

  Daiki and I look at one another and then we both ugh awkwardly.

  Akane sighs, “Yeah okay, it wasn't that funny. They say things can be funny because they are true, but…that was a little too real, wasn't it?”