Sulme helped me to the bed in the cabin. "Do you need anything?"

  "A rest of a few long hours, and a huge meal afterwards."

  "Alright." He smiled. "I'll see to that. But now I must speak with my mother. We haven't seen in almost a year, and there's much to talk about."

  The Nilkoan kissed me and left. Hints of strength had crept back to my extremities, but my body remained cold and lethargic. I wrapped a bnket around myself and started, as the door smmed open.

  Sulme stepped into the cabin and closed the door behind him. His eyes were open wide.

  "Why didn't you tell me?" he demanded.

  "Tell you what?"

  "That you are with a child!" Sulme pced his arms on the bed and leaned over me. Frantic worry filled his expression.

  "I... I waited for the right opportunity." I frowned. "She should not have told you."

  Sulme stood up and paced around the tiny room. "She can see more than we can, so I asked her about your health. Because she wouldn't lie to me..." He lifted his hands in a weird wavery gesture. "Gods, I could have lost both you..."

  I sat on the side of the bed. "I am sorry to upset you, Sulme."

  The man froze in pce. He turned to me, with confused look on his face.

  "Upset?" He chortled small ugh and smiled. "That's the opposite of what I should be."

  Sulme sat right next to me. Our hands found each other and entwined.

  "Teissa," he whispered. "This must have been the worst night in my life. I was sure you died."

  "If it helps even a little, I thought so too."

  "The crew held a st prayer in your honour at the break of dawn. So you know, I wasn't the only one with teary eyes."

  "Oh, Inmo's mercy on me." I sighed. "They will think I came back from the dead."

  "Possibly." Sulme wrapped his arms around my waist. "Do you feel it?"

  "Feel wha-- The child you mean."

  He kissed my cheek. "Yes."

  I ughed. "No. In fact, I have no idea, how your mother could have known."

  "Maternal instinct, perhaps. You might get that soon."

  "Oh..." I shuddered. "Earlier this spring, your embrace was only a tender hidden wish. Now your touch is already yielding fruit."

  Sulme wrapped me into a tighter hold. "I'm gd to hear that you trust me." He let go off me and stood up. "You should rest. I'll bring food ter."

  "Are you not tired?" I asked. "Maybe you should stay too."

  "Oh, I'd love nothing more. But the captain has duties. See you soon."

  The man left the cabin. I y down and smiled to myself. The firm way he had called himself 'the captain' fluttered inside me.

  I was startled awake. Whatever had scared me so slithered back to where sin dreams lingered.

  Sulme stood at the cabin door with a bowl in both hands. "Hi. Did you get any rest?"

  The smells filled the cabin and wetted my mouth.

  "A little." I wrapped the bnket around me and moved to sit at the tiny table.

  Sulme pced the bowls on the table and sat on the other side. He pushed the vessel with bean porridge towards me while keeping the roasted piece of meat in front of himself.

  My stomach was a void, and I let him know my feelings with a gre.

  He merely smiled. "Go on. I'll cut this meat for you."

  "Oh!" My face warmed. "I thought you were going to eat the roast and leave me with mere beans."

  "I already ate at the shore." He cut a fatty piece and offered it to me. "The Vonir were stocked with provisions, so I thought it would be prudent to let our troops feast."

  With barely any chewing, I gulped the meat down. "Did they keep you in command?" I proceeded to spoon up the bean porridge.

  "They did. None of the men questioned my authority, even though I'm not exactly a corporeal spirit."

  "After seeing your mother, they will start to question, what exactly you are. How is she, by the way?"

  "Well. She has been talking to the crew and listening to their tales. The surface world is a bit of a hobby for her, though she comes upside rarely."

  "Have you..." I took another mouthful to give myself time to consider my words. "Have you seen her in the water?"

  Sulme's smile widened. "Yes, of course. Her usual form does leave an impression."

  My gaze fell. "How about my form? How you can continue to treat me like this after the st night?"

  "I did say I would never abandon you." Sulme pushed another piece of the roast into my view.

  Nobody, especially not I, deserved such unconditional statements of loyalty. I frowned to myself.

  "Does that hurt?" Sulme held a finger to his cheek.

  I mirrored the gestured and found a new groove in my skin.

  "Damned wretch," I muttered. "The Tamsi freelord had a sword keen enough to cut into my spirit. No matter. The flesh has healed. Only my pride remains stung."

  "That's good. I mean, that you are bodily alright. Though I'd also prefer your pride remained untouched. I find it endearing."

  I drew my mouth into a line, but Sulme disarmed my exasperation with his smile.

  "There is something I need to tell you," I said. "Look at me in the deeper mirage."

  Sulme gave me an questioning look, until I browbeat him into obeying.

  He closed his eyes, took a seven deep breaths and said: "What am I supposed to see?"

  "Nothing. You said that I appeared as a 'weak-willed dulrd'. That is what I am now. Umu is dead."

  Sulme opened his eyes. "That's not true. What about that speech you gave? That didn't seem weak-willed."

  I dismissed the thought with a gesture of my hand. "A receptive audience. Sulme, you need to take command. I am not up to it any more."

  "The men follow you."

  "And they can, by obeying you. They need to think me as Umu the Shipburner, not Teissa the feeble girl."

  "This is just weariness talking," Sulme said. "After a few days' rest you'll feel better."

  "No. My spirit is all but dead. From now on, I will have to concentrate on staying alive. For the sake of our child."

  "Pregnancy isn't an injury. You'll have weeks bef--"

  "Sulme! Do not argue with me about how I feel."

  "Sorry." To pcate me, he cut another thick piece of juicy meat. "We'll do as you see best."

  "Thank you." I took the offering and smiled. "I know you mean well."

  "Gd to hear that."

  After my meal, Sulme limped out of the cabin, and I y back on the bed.

  Perhaps I was overdramatic about my nature being dead. If it was true, being Teissa-shaped husk was certainly better than resting as an Umu-shaped corpse at the bottom of the ke. The former could fulfil the functions of a physical body. That was after all why Elti had dragged me to the surface.

  I closed my eyes and took an uncomfortable position, so I wouldn't fall asleep. My mind needed meditating to clear up.

  Words filled the swirling void of my mind. "You are definitely rather hysterical about your situation."

  "You are dead, Umu."

  "That has never stopped me." The wet nothingness filled with an oily bze. "Do you think fire disappears, when you douse it? No, it hides to wait for the opportunity to resurface."

  "If you are me, how do I shut you up?"

  "It will take a much higher order of ascetic than yourself to cease a mental aggregate. You will have to tolerate me."

  "Fine. What do you want?"

  "Your essence is fme," Umu said. "You think your spirit is dead, but it merely needs fuel."

  I had to consider Her words for a while, before I understood, what She meant. "I will not sacrifice anyone to myself."

  "You need your strength to defeat the Prince."

  "No. Besides, letting you revel again will only serve to attract the wrath of the kindly gods. It is of no use."

  "You need the strength of your soul, to keep your little one from harm. A fetus, untrained and unwilled, is most vulnerable. Without the protection of its mother, the barely formed soul is terribly vulnerable to the foul spirits abundant around us."

  My thoughts became bck like the bottom of the ke. I breathed in deep to remain calm.

  The tongue in my huge mouth tasted of iron and blood. The water split from my view, and turned into a burning deck of a ship. Men around me watched in horror.

  Oh, how powerful I was. Not a mere liar, or schemer or a politician. I didn't wield power because others gave theirs to me. I embodied the might myself.

  Reluctantly, I dragged myself back into the cold bck water.

  "Do not tempt me with these visions," I said.

  "You call memories 'visions' now? Denial is useless with me. I am you, thus I know you loved every heartbeat of it. You munched that roast like it was a man you had scorched."

  "This is ridiculous."

  "Hardly. It was why the half-breed got the meat for you."

  "What? You think he got me roast, because he wanted to imagine me eating men?"

  "Yes. He gets excited from the idea of bedding the Fire Serpent. Perhaps it is strange, but it is understandable. Might is fire to both the heart and loins. And you walked out of the Firestorm of Surtalm."

  Tongues of fme taller than trees. Howling men and beasts. I tried to close my eyes, but they were already shut.

  The fire parted, and the cold winter breeze saved me from burning alive. The only thing I saw were frozen corpses.

  My scream was cut short. I was back in the water.

  Umu continued: "That is why Sulme loves you. Even if he didn't realise it, until his body responded to your shape with lust. But if you insists on remaining weak, he'll get bored with you. His love to you falters, but the chains of duty will hold him bound. It will be bitter existence for all the three of you."

  A hazy group of three stood in front of me. The tallest had flowing tawny hair, and the middle one was burly in a way, which oozed confidence and security. The shortest was by far the most vaporous, vulnerable, needing my everything to stay alive.

  Hollow, weak anger pulped into my mind. I wouldn't let Her use my unborn child as a pawn in Her mind games any longer.

  With considerably effort against weariness, I forced my eyes open.