DING

  "...hnnngggrhgh."

  DING

  "...just... one more hour... lemme sleep..."

  !! sparkles DING sparkles !!

  The obnoxious sound finally clears my head from the last foggy remnants of unconsciousness. Blearily, I look around. Still propped up on two bone-white limbs in the middle of a dark cave. Guess I didn't imagine defeating the anchor after all.

  I push myself upright, looking around for any causal violations, but the cave remains empty.

  ...momentarily?

  What I've taken to calling the 'worst box' appears in front of me.

  So many words crammed together. I hate that box.

  I'm about to when a sudden thought occurs to me.

  "...hey Box? Didn't I survive whatever it was that thing hit me with by two life?"

  I rub my chin in mock thoughtfulness.

  "Yeah, but isn't two life out of two hundred and fifty, like, one percent?"

  "You're right, you're right, it's more like," I do some quick math, "point eight percent, buuuuuut," I let the word draw out.

  "Doesn't that mean my one point in Avoidance is all that kept us alive?"

  "...we can't do damage if we're dead," I mutter, but I focus on the Attack Speed choice.

  I groan at the wall of words.

  "Why does it keep getting longer?"

  "Ugh, fine."

  I examine the box suspiciously.

  "...why is the buffer at three percent? And why do I keep getting two 'infinity expressions?' I thought you said I had to clear the buffer right away before it could fill up again."

  "Box," I say firmly, hands and limbs planted on my hips. "Did you lie to me?"

  "What was that?"

  I stare blankly at the cave wall. Should I... is there... can I...

  "Nope. Not dealing with it. Let's go meet up with Dirt and let him know everything's fine."

  I push myself into a light jog, body still aching everywhere. Without any biomass to heal me back up, it feels like I'm constantly on the verge of passing out again.

  Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  "I passed out after fighting the anchor, though," I reply, rounding a pile of rocks. Cracks of bright light appear ahead, the cave entrance in sight.

  "Well thanks for that cheery reminder."

  I dash through the rockfall and reappear on the hillside, my eyes adjusting instantly to the change in brightness. The sun's still relatively high in the sky, and the day is just as beautiful as it was before I entered, but it's tough to shake the lingering chill confronting the anchor left in me. Every time I try to think back on the fight, it feels like something in my head goes numb, not letting me focus on any of the details.

  "Is that you doing that, Box?"

  "I'm a Memoriam, Box. I've literally been training my whole life to remember the past. Speaking of which, what are we going to do next?"

  "Fucking right we do," I growl, anger suddenly burning hot. I haven't forgotten those bastards are the ones who killed Wires.

  A green arrow appears in my vision, and as I start running down the cliffside towards it, one of my limbs snaps out towards a scraggly bush clinging to the rocks. Something happens, and then there's no more bush. On my next step, my other limb repeats the process with a fleeing rabbit, the creature not even getting a chance to shriek before it vanishes in a fashion my mind refuses to process. My stomach roils with a queasy sensation, but the rest of me starts feeling better.

  "...Box, you can control that, right? Like, I'm not going to accidentally eat Dirt if I'm still low on biomass, right?"

  I giggle.

  "That's not very nice, Box. It's not Torch's fault she's angry. I don't think she was very happy about having to deal with, you know, all of this."

  I gesture at myself as I sprint faster than a stooping hawk, my limbs busy denuding the landscape of anything looking remotely biological in a ten-meter range. It probably seems terrifying from an outside perspective, like some sort of flickering monster gobbling its way across the ground, but I'm just glad I'm not feeling crappy anymore.

  I pass through the torn up hollow where I fought the violations earlier, then crest the small hill leading back to the outskirts of the village forest. I'm not breathing hard at all, despite the rapid pace I set coming back.

  "How come I don't get tired, Box? I feel like that's not normal."

  "...what's 'sugar?'"

  I ignore Box's non-answer and head down the hill. We're probably only two or three minutes away from where Dirt said he was going to set up camp.

  "No eating the trees, okay?" I warn Box as I approach the wild undergrowth. "It's taken a long time to get the forest this far."

  "I'll do my best. Dirt," I call out, making my way through the coarse vegetation, "you here?"

  No response. I come to halt in front of a glowing green arrow pointing at the ground, recognizing the spot where we rested a short while ago. It looks just like the rest of the forest outskirts - a mixture of hardy bushes, patches of wiry grass, and clumps of scrawny trunks huddled together as they fight to outgrow each other for sunlight away from the larger giants of the true forest.

  "Dirt?"

  My vision gets weird, blobby patches of black and white swirling and then replacing my normal eyesight, quickly resolving into well-defined outlines of trees and bushes in monochromatic shades. One of the bushes suddenly outlines in red, the rough shape of a human body appearing within it.

  Box shifts my view back to normal, and I find myself staring at a bush that looks exactly the same as those surrounding it. I walk over and peer down.

  "Dirt? Is that you?"

  "No," another bush right next to my ankle says.

  "Gah!"

  Dirt stands up, sweat dripping down his face, then shrugs off his cloak with a relieved sigh. This one has what looks like a silvery metallic interior, and it rustles as he drops it to the forest floor. He's cleaned the blood off from earlier, but his cheeks are bruised and eyes sunken. Despite that, he still has a cheerful expression.

  "Glowbeasts hunt with heat," Dirt explains on seeing my questioning look, wiping away the rivulets of sweat. "One Idiot gets to be bait." He points to the bush I initially approached, which is faintly snoring. "Lucky Torchie. Other waits for the Glowbeast to get close enough to pounce - then, bang." He mimes shooting a gun before nodding his head soberly. "Timing is important. Put the cloak on too early, and you pass out from the heat. Glowbeast gets two meals instead of one. Put it on too late, and now the Glowbeast is hunting you. Time to run."

  "Yeah, but I'm not a Glowbeast," I complain. "I'm sure you heard me calling out."

  He shrugs.

  "Wanted to see if it would work." A sunbeam smile. "Also, it's fun. Torchie hates it."

  I roll my eyes.

  "I can't imagine why."

  "No sense of humor," he responds sadly. "So. Were you a successful Idiot? Or did the stove burn you and you managed to pull your hand away in time?"

  "The cave's clear..." I begin, struggling to find the words to explain how horrible everything inside it was, but there aren't any. Eventually I give a half-shrug half-grimace. "You were right. You wouldn't have survived. I barely did."

  "That is because I am a smart Idiot who knows when a hot stove is actually a melty rock, Sky Idiot," he responds happily, reaching out to clasp my shoulder. "It is good it wasn't a melty rock for you, though. The village is safe?"

  "For now. Box says we need to find where those other people, the 'Corporate Marauders,' are at so we can deal with them. Also, more anchors might appear."

  "That is not good. I will think on things." He takes a long drink from his canteen. "What are you and the 'box' planning?"

  "Right now? Scouting around for the Corporate Marauders, then probably doing our best to kill them all. I can cover ground a lot faster than I used to be able to."

  "I noticed," Dirt says wryly. "The Glowbeast cave is normally a half-day hike from here. These 'Corporate Marauders,' they are as dangerous as what was in the cave?"

  "They are."

  "Then I have no choice." He walks over to the recumbent Torch and kicks her solidly in the shin, eliciting a break in the snores followed by muffled swearing. "Wake up, Torchie," he calls out, kicking her again. "The new Idiot is going to run around and do your job some more. Oh, and you also missed two fights while you were sleeping."

  Torch claws her way to a semi-prone position propped up on her elbows, bloodshot eyes glaring at nothing. Her blonde hair hangs in lanky clumps across her haggard face. I'm pretty sure she's going to pass out again if she tries anything more strenuous than breathing.

  "...what... was that... you piece of shit?"

  She tries to punch Dirt's foot but he calmly steps aside, and she collapses back down to the ground, panting for breath.

  "Oh good, you're awake. Now I don't have to carry you all the way home." He ignores her feeble attempts to claw at his boot and turns back to me. "I was originally going to make a camp nearby to try and offer some support, but you appear fast and capable enough that it's better if I get Torchie back to the village. If you say these 'Corporate Marauders' are as dangerous as those other things, neither of us will survive out here alone if they find us."

  "This is your hot stove now, Sky Idiot," he continues, all traces of levity gone. "Try to continue not getting burnt."

  Dirt's words set me aback. It was barely a few hours ago that Broom was ordering Torch to keep me safe. Now Dirt, the most capable Idiot I've ever seen, thinks I'm the sole person who can protect the entire village, all on my own. What if I screw it up? I haven't trained to be an Idiot at all.

  As if sensing my inner thoughts, he reaches up to put his hands on my shoulders, looking me straight in the eyes.

  "You will succeed, or you will fail, but you cannot worry about either. Live in the moment, and trust your instincts. You have survived so far." A sudden twinkle enters his eyes. "Besides, Idiots win even if they die, because then the next Idiot knows not to eat the melty rock. Everyone remembers your name. I'll personally write it down in our new village Archives after we move."

  I chuckle, ignoring Box, my sudden tension fading away. Dirt is right. If me being myself makes me an Idiot, despite my protestations to the contrary, then all I have to do is keep being me. Worrying about it is a waste of energy. If I succeed, I'll keep the village safe. If I fail despite my best efforts, there are others who will learn from it, and then it will be their turn.

  "That's better," Dirt smiles. "Teach us what you can, Sky Idiot, and good luck."

  "Remember what we find," I reply quietly, reaching up to clasp his own shoulder in return.

  "We will."

  Dirt pulls his hands away and turns to face Torch, who's watching us grimly with her back to a young tree. Somehow she managed to get herself into a seated position while we were talking.

  "Enough lazing about from you," he chides her, stepping over. "You're setting a bad example for the new Idiot. Come on, up to your feet. Time for a relaxing two hour run home."

  "You're sure about this?" she asks, ignoring his jocular tone and outstretched hand. "I'm supposed to be making sure our new Idiot doesn't die."

  "Yes. I will explain it to Broom when we get back, but only if you don't make me carry you."

  "As if... I'd let you," Torch grunts, staggering to her feet on her own. "Gonna... beat you there... just wait..."

  "Now that would be embarrassing. Sky," Dirt calls out, "you can take my pack. There should be some useful items in there for you, and it'll make it easier for me to win against Torchie. Don't lose my cloaks."

  "...bastard... still gonna... beat you..."

  Torch stumbles into a slow trot, Dirt keeping pace beside her, close enough to catch her if she falls.

  "Not at that pace you won't, but it's okay. Plenty of time for you to make me look silly. There you go, one foot in front of the other."

  He gives me one last wave and then they disappear into the trees, the undergrowth falling still in their passing. A surge of melancholy rushes through me, but I push it aside. I'll see them again when I get back to the village. I have to believe every part of that is true.

  Right now, there's more work to be done, and more trees to plant for Wires.